by JK Ensley
I heard his tender voice in my mind, felt it spoken within my heart. Butterflies came to life inside my churning stomach and goose bumps sprang up on my shaking arms.
Yes, my love, my Jenevier. I heard your voice.
“I can’t see you.”
You don’t need your eyes to know I am near, dearest Anicee.
“Can you see me?”
Yes. You are more beautiful than ever.
“You tease. It’s only been hours since you held me. Why did you let me go?”
I wanted you to know what it felt like to leave me. I wanted you to choose to be with me. I wanted you to find a way to return to the Angel that gently holds your heart… if that’s what your heart truly desires.
“I love you.”
And I you.
“I don’t know which way to go. It seems I no longer fit with the humans upon this layer, nor do I belong with the Vanir.”
That is true.
“But I cannot come back to you. At least, not this way. I have had my fill of roaming. I want a home again. I want a family. I want someone to laugh with, someone to talk to, someone to hold, to love.”
…I’m sorry I let you leave.
“I know why you did. You didn’t want to see me sitting where you are, pining away to be here.”
You are an amazing creature, Jenevier. There is none like you… even I am not like you. You are made up of so many wonderful things you should be able to blend with any race. Yet the opposite is true.
“I know. Humans will fear me. The Vanir look down upon me…” I paused a moment, mulling over a new idea. “Are there real Angels anywhere out here?”
Yes, my love. There are many. But swear to me now you will never seek them out.
“Why?”
They will deem you an abomination, a dark abomination. They know me. We were brothers, once. They will look at you through the same eyes of hate they now view me.
“Oh. So… there’s no one…”
My lover didn’t respond, but I felt him reading my troubled heart.
“Am I immortal?”
I believe so. At least, a part of you is.
“Can you ever leave hell?”
No, I cannot.
“So, if I’m immortal and I can only return to you if I die…” My words turned to ash in my mouth. “Then I am condemned to wander this universe alone, for all time and eternity.”
I could hold back my tears no longer. I determined to save my strength for when it would be needed most. I would put on a good face for the rest of the world. Only with Vindicus did I feel safe enough to be weak.
I cannot abide your tears, tiniest Angel. They torment me. I want to hold you in my arms. I want to comfort you whilst I kill every being that caused even one of those bitter drops to fall. You are my Princess, my Anicee, my only love… and I cannot protect you. What good is it to wield all the powers of the Underworld if I can’t even wipe away your sorrow?
“No, my beautiful Angel. I cry now because you’re the only one I can be myself with. I need these tears to flow. I need them to heal. Yet only with you do I feel safe enough to shed them.”
Jenevier…
I felt a disturbance inside me. The air before my face trembled. I thought I heard a faint gasp within the forest, but its insignificance erased it from my mind as my heart leapt at the thought of seeing my husband once more. Vindicus’s enormous hand appeared out of thin air. He wiped away my tears.
Don’t cry, my love. I cannot stand to see you in pain.
Then my beautiful dark Angel ran his fingertips delicately along the ragged black scar Valencia had left upon my cheek.
I will kill the Vanir who did this.
I reached up, placing my hand over his, tenderly kissing his angelic palm. “No, my love. That scar is extremely important to me. It served to open my eyes. Yet my heart did not change. It forever reminds me of your beautiful face and the magical love we eternally share.”
So be it. He touched my cheek once more.
Vindicus had cut one of my curls during our battle. This ringlet now hung loose in my face—never quite wanting to stay in place. Even though it was long enough, it never managed to stay tucked behind my ear for very long.
This one is my fault.
He played with the stray curl. I could feel his love so strongly it was painful. Then he lifted my withered hand.
This is my fault as well.
“Do not say such. I should never have left you.”
I should never have let you leave. I was wrong, my love. Your journey is now harder because of me. In my infinite desire to have you, I have caused you irrevocable pain. The precious gift of immortality is now a curse unto you. The eternal connection we share will now only ever produce bitterest tears.
“No, my Angel. Please don’t impart such sad words. Tell me how to find you again. I will move heaven and hell to lie within your arms. I will gladly pay any price just to feel your lips upon mine, smell your sweet breath beside me.”
What is this? What’s happening? I don’t understand…
Panic swooped down upon me, painfully tightening my chest. “What’s wrong, Vindicus?” My voice cracked. “Tell me. What’s happening?”
I’m glad you cannot see my face, Anicee… He paused for several heartbeats.
“Tell me right now. What’s going on?” My panic was fast becoming anger. “Dammit, Vindicus, if you don’t answer me I swear I’ll—”
I weep.
I held my breath, shocked. I didn’t know how to respond.
These tears are foreign to my eyes. Never have I been loved as you love me. Not even by my father. The feeling is gloriously, exquisitely… painful. My Princess, the loss of you will surely destroy me.
Now I was the one weeping. “I love you, Vindicus. I will always love you, Apollyon. You are the eternal keeper of my heart.”
Please, don’t say such sweet things. It only makes what I must do all the harder.
“What? What must you do? What’s wrong now? What intention do you hide from me?”
I will never give my heart to another, this I swear. You are my eternal wife, my blessed Anicee. But I do not hold you to this fate I have willingly chosen for myself. I will leave you unfettered while you roam the layers. I promise to keep this safe for you, until you find a way back into my arms. I know you will one day return to me. I believe only in that truth, nothing else.
“What… I don’t understand…”
I looked down at the only thing I could see and feel of my beloved husband, his strong hand firm in mine. I kissed it and he trembled.
“Vindicus, if you truly care for me, if I yet hold value to you, do not do what is set in your heart. If you take your manacle from me, I will be utterly alone. For mercy’s sake, my love, leave me this one thing. Leave our bond.”
Dearest Jenevier, I have healed all that I can for you. Alas, I have caused more harm than I have the power to cure. I ask only this. One day you will forgive me and one day you will find me once more.
His hand slid from mine, returning from whence it came before I could grab hold of him. I covered my eyes as the tears gushed through my fingers. I cried out from loss, from pain, from longing. I cried for the wedding I never had, the first one and the second one. And I cried for all the lonely years I knew now awaited me.
When I wiped clear my eyes, only then did I notice my withered hand was restored, sort of. The skin was once again full and luminescent, yet it now glowed with a faint azure hue, reminiscent of my husband’s beautiful hair. When my Angel’s face came to my mind, I looked to my tattooed finger and thanked God, right then and there.
Vindicus’s manacle was still upon my hand. I could have borne anything… save the loss of it.
I will always only love you, my Angel, my Anicee...
These were the last words I heard from my dear husband. They stabbed a hole through my damnable, ever-beating heart.
Chapter 26
Vittorio
(vit-TOR-ee-oh)
&n
bsp; “I’ve never seen anything quite like that before,” Valencia whispered, amazed.
The tiny gasp I’d heard in the forest hadn’t been my imagination. Varick’s sister had heard and seen all that transpired between me and Apollyon.
“You’ve never felt anything quite like this either,” I replied sardonically.
I didn’t turn to look at her. She was completely insignificant to me. I didn’t even care she had eavesdropped on one of the most personal moments of my life. But I did wish she would just shut-up.
“Your bond must be completely unnatural for him to be able to breach our world.”
“Our bond is the most natural thing in all creation. Please refrain from commenting on things your unworthy mind cannot possibly comprehend.”
“I’ll not let that one little quip bother me. I see how much pain you’re in. So it’s okay, this time,” she chirped.
“Well now, your most gracious understanding is such a sweet blessing.” My words were a hiss, but she seemed not to notice.
“Hmm, I wonder how he did that,” she mused. “I’ve never read anything like it within the ancient writings.”
My patience with this flippant little Guardian had long since left me. “So why don’t you leave me in peace and go study upon it?”
“I mean, it just glistens,” she whispered. “…like sapphires.”
I rolled my eyes and slowly turned to face her. “You make me weary. Leave me. Run and tell your brother all that has befallen me here so he and his new wife can share another laugh at my expense. I am past caring.”
I felt the same coldness I’d felt in hell—encroaching upon my heart, wrapping it in fiery hatred, darkly warming it.
“Ugh! You’re so strange,” she huffed. “I don’t understand your mind or the things you say. You are so terribly odd.”
“Valencia, gratitude for your concern on my behalf. Let me repay you now with a bit of free advice.” I stood then and faced her fully. “If you don’t shut that gaping hole in your pretty little face, I will enthusiastically pluck off your fluffy wings and weave myself a lovely, albeit bloodstained, full-length cape from them.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, pointing her haughty chin toward the sky. “Humpf. No wonder my brother didn’t marry you. You’re always so cross or so horribly sad. I don’t believe I’ve seen you smile even once.”
My eyes flashed red, but the giant hand now upon my shoulder instantly calmed my fury, washed it from me. I freely let it go. I didn’t truly care anyway.
“Valencia, ye go too far,” Vittorio warned. “Yer mother’s had a vision an’ she’s calling for ye. I dunnae want tae have tae tell her ye’ve been torn tae shreds within the forest.”
“Yes, Vittorio. I shall go now. But keep a close eye on this one. I don’t trust her,” she called out over her retreating shoulder.
“Vittorio, Brother, so nice to see you again.”
I hugged the valiant warrior for a long moment. I had genuinely missed my dear friends.
“I heard ye’d already left. I was vexed with ye, Lass. Ye hadnae even taken the time tae say hello. An’ then I was denied a farewell tae boot.”
“Apologies, Brother. I didn’t want to tarry and cause any more problems within my ethereal family.”
“Problems?” He laughed. “Aye, Lass, I would define ye more as the glue that binds us than the trouble that separates us. Ye’ve been sorely missed by all.”
“Not everyone.”
“Surely ye jest, wee maid. We have all longed for ye tae mend our broken lives.”
“Such a smooth tongue. Glad to see you haven’t changed, Brother.”
“Aye, but ye have. Let me get a good look at ye.” Vittorio held my hand above my head, spinning me in a slow circle before him. “Mmm, even more luscious than when last I was graced with yer rare beauty. Yer all woman now. I see nae girl left within ye. Tell me, wee lamb. How have ye come by such lovely colorings? Yer skin favors mine. But yer curls are breathtaking. An’ yer scar makes ye even more beautiful an’ enchanting than ever. I cannae stop staring at ye.”
“My scar?” I put my hand to my torn cheek.
“Aye, if ye can even call it a scar. Looks more like a rare decoration. An’ the mesmerizing color perfectly matches this single lock of hair.”
“Vittorio, have you been in the forbidden spirits? What madness do you now claim? Or have you been long on a mission and your senses are askew?” I laughed and bumped him playfully with my shoulder.
“Aye, laugh all ye like, warrior girl. But I know what I see. An’ it arouses me like nae before. Be glad ye were nae yet this exotic on our first mission, or I would have claimed yer flower before Varick had stolen it away.”
The familiar deep rumble emanating from his massive chest made me laugh again. All the times that same teasing warning had come from the warrior Vanir filled my mind. For one brief moment, I recalled all the laughter and gaiety I’d been privileged to be a part of in this magical city with my new family.
I giggled, despite myself. Vittorio always managed to make me smile, no matter what.
“Calm yourself, Beast, or I shall have to tame you properly.”
His guttural growls increased. “Aye, dunnae tease me so, Mistress, or I shall gobble ye up before my senses can be controlled.”
“You’ll have to catch me first.” I winked at him and darted away.
My mask and wings were part of me now. With barely a thought, I was Vashti, racing through the skies with the giant warrior in close pursuit. Our yells and laughter rained down on the sparkling city below us. Glowing faces turned toward the heavens, feasting upon our playful aerial ballet.
“Hey, why didn’t I get an invitation to this party?”
“Vinika!” I yelled her name as I slammed into her. Entwined, we spun around and around through the air.
Our laughter melted together with all the other warriors who joined in our frolicking game of sky tag.
With my new Angel DNA, I could sense the fun, the love, and the sweet enjoyment on their level. It was awesome. When Vanir laugh, they laugh with their entire being. When they play, they’re the very definition of children in the throes of wild, uninhibited enjoyment. This was, without exception, the most fun I’d ever known. And I never wanted it to end.
We raced and flew and laughed. We forgot all about demons and Angels and humans. Fun was the only thing on our minds. It took hours before exhaustion began to set in. Our brothers and sisters bowed out of our game one at a time, until only Vittorio and I were left alone in our play.
“Aye, I want tae show ye something, beautiful warrior.”
He grabbed my hand and flew through the clouds. That nauseating feeling washed over me before we popped out into the bluest sky I believe I have ever seen.
“Wow…”
He laughed. “Aye, Lass, I thought ye might like it. This is my favorite place tae come when I need peace in my heart an’ calm in my soul. The look on yer face, sweet Angel, told me ye needed a wee bit of peace an’ calm.”
“What is this beautiful place, Vittorio?”
“It’s Lyra, the land of layer one.”
“I have been to layer one. I had a summons to Lyra. Yet never have I seen this place.”
“Aye, but that’s because it’s a secret, hidden place. I only found it by accident whilst I was hunting down a particularly mischievous Fairy. He tried tae hide in here.”
“Wow… I can’t get over it. This place must be full of magic.”
“Aye, Lass, an’ nae other Vanir knows of this place. Nae one ootside a few blessed Fairies, are even aware of its existence. This place, my most beautiful of Angels, is my gift tae ye.”
I flung my arms around his neck, squeezing as hard as I could. “Gratitude, Vittorio. With every ounce of my being… thank you. It’s too perfect and I don’t deserve it, but I love you for it. You always could bring a smile to my face when I thought I’d never be able to smile again. Only you, Brother.”
He laughe
d and messed up my hair. “Aye, an’ I love ye more, my wee darlin’.”
We spent hours exploring the magical garden. It was deep within the valley of four pine-laden mountains. They completely surrounded it, keeping its secrets. It was easily accessible from the sky but torturously hard to get to by land. Moss-strewn vines formed a living wall within, and a little waterfall spilled into a tranquil pool as clear as glass. Brightly colored gemstones jutted from the ground and sides of the mountains. The sun danced from the pristine waters to the glorious stones, making the whole valley sparkle… like magic.
We played in the cool water and had foot races upon the lush grass. It was divine.
Vittorio told me the name of every precious gem, some of them standing taller than the angelic sentinel himself. There were citrines and rubies, sapphires and moonstones. He showed me topaz of many colors, amethyst, emeralds, and aventurines. There was a giant slab of perfect blue turquoise behind the waterfall and you could easily scoop up handfuls of pearls off the bottom of the pond. We made a game of diving—seeing who could collect the most in one hand. It wasn’t really a fair game since Vittorio’s giant hand was bigger than four of mine.
We danced behind the waterfall. Soaked with its cool spray—my curls sodden, my heart lifted. He had me stand on his feet while he showed me how to hold my hands, just so. And there, my graceful, gallant Guardian taught me the many lovely dances of the Vanir. He led and I just held on, much like a father would teach his baby girl.
There seemed to be no end to the wondrous new discoveries. I felt five years old again.
“Wonder how long we’ve been here?” I pondered the question aloud while we lay on our backs, chewing blades of grass and pointing out clouds that reminded us of the silliest things.
“I know nae. Time seems tae lose all meaning here. That’s exactly why I brought ye tae this place. I dunnae need the gory details of what’s happened tae ye. One look in yer beautiful new eyes told me ye needed this place more than any other being alive. An’ I was right. Was I nae?”
“Yes, Vittorio. This place is precisely what I needed and will continue to need for many years to come.”
“Aye, Lass, an’ that’s why I’ve finally decided on a name for it.”