Just Can't Let Go

by Mary B. Morrison

  I nodded. Tears poured down my face. “Do I get a copy?”

  Firmly, Dakota said, “No.”

  “He had my baby over there. Seriously, I want to kill him.”

  “No, you’re not. He’s not going to harm Nya. Neither will Ebony. Look at me, Devereaux. It’s fucked up right now, but I got you. Get his keys. Let’s have them copied and move on to the next steps. You have to trust me on this.”

  CHAPTER 39

  Spencer

  Pussy often divided men who were boys but rarely divided men who were boyz.

  Had to find a way to mend my connect with LB. Didn’t want to ignore my sister’s request to do a face-to-face but I’d had enough of her schematics. Pregnant. Not. But she was expecting again. I just couldn’t pacify her. The money, house, cars were all hers. If she had to cough up a kidney and a lung to keep it all to herself, she’d make that happen. I didn’t care. Her lack of consideration created mine. She’d be all right.

  I raised my hand, pressed the doorbell, and my beautiful booty call appeared. Actually, I was hers. Either way the results were going to be the same. We were both at her spot fixing to get in the mix.

  “You smell edible, Spencer. Get your sexy ass in here,” she said, grabbing my tee.

  Ebony had platinum pussy, breasts, butt, lips, hazel-gray eyes, everything including access to me. I would’ve been on some chill shit waiting to go to work if it weren’t for her hitting me up earlier.

  She pulled my T-shirt over my head, unfastened my buckle, unzipped my pants, pulled out my dick, then stuck it in her mouth. Good thing my bartending threads were in my car. I’d change when I got to work.

  Her hand slid up and down as she wiggled her fingers sucking me between those thick beautiful lips of hers. Ebony did a quick teabag, then got right back on the mic.

  Wow! That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout. Blake would never just take the dick at the door.

  I stood in the foyer. She was on her knees on a pillow. Premeditated fellatio. Yeah. That was what was up!

  “Oh, yas. Suck your dick, bitch.”

  Ebony turnt up. Started using both hands.

  Fuck it. I was not holding back or pulling out. I came in her mouth. She didn’t stop until my dick and her mouth were both empty.

  Passionately, she kissed my ear, then begged, “Make me squirt again.”

  I looked toward the nearest room. The living room.

  “No, not there. The Jacuzzi. That way my husband can’t tell.”

  Buster needed to be gone more often. Having sex in the bed was never my first choice when there was the bathroom, kitchen, family, and theater room. Closet. Not to mention backyards and front yards. Leaving my clothes near the front door, I trailed Ebony outdoors. There was a huge pool. The Jacuzzi was already bubbling. The water was hot. I loved this shit!

  Made me want to move out of my apartment and back into my house. I hadn’t stayed there because I had too many memories of my mom. Everything was still the same. The only photo I’d taken from the house and hung in my place was the one taken of us one Easter Sunday.

  That’s when she was still with my—with Conner. We went to church every Sunday. He never went with us. Maybe he would’ve been a better man if he had. My mom and I were dressed in all white. Her in a pretty dress. Me in my knee-length shorts and a short-sleeved button-up with white shoes and socks. Her hand covered mine. All I saw was my thumb. Had to switch my mental before I messed up the moment with Ebony.

  Doggie-style, I massaged her G-spot. Did the running man with my pointing and middle fingers facing down. Teased her clit at the same time. Did that for about ten minutes while she moaned, grunted, squirmed.

  Sexing an uninhibited woman kept my dick hard. I had to please her. Didn’t want to end up on her socials with the #BadDick #SpencerDomino. This chick had over a million followers and she wanted to fuck me. Yas!

  My dick was on swole so I stuck it in her ass. She screamed so loud I thought I’d hurt her until she started laughing.

  “I did it again, Spencer! You’re my squirt man,” she said.

  Our lips never touched. Ever. But I wanted to French that tongue of hers. Maybe she was on one of those “I’m a married woman” “kissing was too personal” trips. Didn’t matter. If she kept giving me insane brain, whatever she wanted I’d do. Just couldn’t do it all day.

  “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

  She smiled, then said, “Yes.”

  “You like being choked?”

  The smile on her face grew like the Grinch. “Hell, yes!”

  I told her, “Next time, I got you. I’d love to chill, but I have to clock in.”

  “No worries. There’s a shower right there,” she said, pointing to an outdoor wall.

  I did what I needed, went to the foyer, dressed, then left.

  In transit to the job, I hit up LB.

  “What up?” he answered.

  “Man, listen. I apologize for everything. Let’s not dwell on that shit. Cool?”

  “If you say so, Spence.”

  “Dude.”

  “I’m listening,” he said all dry and shit.

  “Two point five million dollars,” I told him.

  LB was quiet. That meant I had that nigga’s attention.

  “That’s what my sister will get if she has a baby. Tag on four luxury cars and a mansion. I’ll fill you in on the details, but she might be worth another round.”

  LB was silent.

  A chick with bank made some niggas jump through hoops like a circus dog. That could never be me. Didn’t do it for Blake. Would never play myself for Ebony no matter how rich and fine she was.

  CHAPTER 40

  Alexis

  I was done with all dicks.

  I prayed my baby wasn’t a boy. Last night was the loneliest I remembered. The one person I believed would always be there for me hadn’t returned any of my calls. Spencer was jealous. His mom left him everything. Our dad willed all of his possessions to me. I didn’t see what the problem was long as we made certain our uncle didn’t inherit shit. I was down with that.

  I’d witness Spencer ignore my mom’s texts and calls when I was with him at T.I.’s Scales 925. Maybe being his sister didn’t make me special because he first saw me as a piece of ass the way most men did.

  My mom might be right. It made me question the sincerity of Conner’s trust. What was the point of all the stipulations? I wondered if the trust was valid. Did our dad give me this to retaliate for Spencer’s refusing to bond with him? I kind of saw him, although I promised my brother I wouldn’t. I didn’t dislike Conner as much as I’d pretended. I’d never understand why he’d put his brother in the trust knowing his brother had molested Spencer? Maybe he didn’t have any other living relatives. I wasn’t cosigning on the fact that Conner didn’t believe Spencer was his son. Or that Spencer had shot him. That would make my only brother a murderer.

  Shit! What if Conner had other kids? Oh well, too late to worry about it now. If my dad hadn’t claimed them, neither was I.

  Maybe having this baby was God’s way of slowing me down. Sitting at the foot of my bed, I called my mother’s attorney.

  A woman answered, “Kendall Minter’s office. This is Louise.”

  “Hi, Louise, is Kendall available?”

  “Who’s calling?”

  “Alexis Crystal. Blake Crystal’s daughter.”

  “Hold, please,” she said.

  The next voice I heard was cheery. “Well, hello, Alexis. This is a first. I would ask if everything is okay, but you wouldn’t be calling me if it were. How can I help you?” he asked.

  “Yes, and no,” I told him, flipping through the pages of the trust.

  He repeated, “How can I help you?”

  The smile in his voice cheered me up somewhat. “Can you see if this trust that I have from my father is legitimate?”

  “Absolutely. Fax, e-mail, or snail mail me a copy. I’ll get back to you shortly.”

  “Thanks, Kenda
ll.”

  “My pleasure,” he said, ending the call.

  He could bill my mother. If this was real and I got a check, I’d pay her back.

  I dialed my classmate Tréme. Hadn’t spoken with her since right before summer break.

  “Hey, you! I was just thinking about you,” she answered. “You enjoying your summer time off?”

  Wanting to say hi, I cried instead.

  “Honey, what’s wrong?” Tréme asked.

  I whimpered, “Everything.”

  “Stop crying. Where are you?”

  “I’m at home.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  “No, I need to get out of here. Can you meet me at Legal Sea Food in an hour?”

  Tréme didn’t hesitate. “See you there. Whatever it is, know that everything is temporary. You’ll be okay.”

  “Thanks.” I ended the call feeling better already.

  I didn’t wish I was more like Tréme. The world would be no fun if everybody was optimistic and bubbly all the time.

  Today, I wasn’t feeling a halter and heels. Normally, I wouldn’t be caught dead in sweats, a men’s small tank with no bra, and my tennis shoes, but that was exactly what I put on. I swooped my hair into a ponytail, fastened my Rolex watch, courtesy of James Wilcox. I grabbed my sunglasses, designer bag, then stuffed a few C-notes in my wallet. Opening the door, there was a piece of paper inside of a plastic bag hanging on the knob. A notice to pay rent or vacate my apartment. Moving out of my loft and into my dad’s house was happening soon as I was certain the mansion was mine.

  The small amount of joy I had vanished. I was so concerned about my inheritance I hadn’t made funeral arrangements for Conner. I’d get to that and take care of my rent tomorrow. Wasn’t as though my dad or the manager was going anywhere. One more day won’t matter. Holding on to the ten grand did. It was all I had right now.

  Tréme had sent a message. Lunch is on me. I got you.

  A text came from Spencer. Saw the notice on your door when I got off last night. I know you have the cash from your dad, but I stopped by the office, took care of the rent and late fee for you, sis. No worries. Remember, I got you.

  Tréme’s offer I understood. Spencer’s? What was his motivation? He saw me pocket the ten grand.

  Just when I wanted to hate all men, I realized that I loved my brother. I put the notice in my purse, then headed to the restaurant to meet my friend.

  Maybe she could help me make sense of my situations.

  CHAPTER 41

  Blake

  Slamming my door in Spencer’s face felt good.

  Whatever he came to offer—an apology, a confession, dick—I no longer wanted. When I was in love with him, his dick drove me insane. Spencer had hurt me one time too many.

  Reality check. I’d put myself in a position to let him use me. Had to accept my responsibility. What I wasn’t going to do was lose the man in front of me trying to hold on to what would never be healthy.

  “It’s just you and I, Max,” I said, looking down at my Yorkie.

  Max wagged his tail. Followed me from the closet to the bed as I packed clothes for the week. “We’re going to learn to like Charlotte. North Carolina, that is.” His nubby tail moved faster. Taking him with me was selfish, but I wasn’t comfortable leaving him with Sandara since she could sporadically get booked for a go-see, fashion show, or photo shoot.

  My cell rang with a special tone. It was Bing. I smiled, then sang, “Morning.”

  “You hungry?”

  “Yes,” I said softly.

  “What time are you heading out?”

  Checking the time on my phone, it was ten. “We should get on the road by two. No later than three.”

  “We?”

  “Yes, I’ve decided to take Max with me.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You can’t take him to work. What if he gets depressed being home alone all day? Dogs do suffer from depression, you know.”

  I knew that but . . . “Sandara can’t keep him.”

  “What about Alexis? She might be able to until she starts school. At least that’ll give you time to get settled into your new position, Ms. Executive. You can get him when you come home on the weekends.”

  What Bing had said made complete sense. I smiled. “That’s not a bad idea. I’ll call her.”

  “Do that now. We can drop your baby off. Then you can enjoy brunch with me.”

  This time my heart smiled. He was in an indirect way claiming me as his woman. Don’t get ahead of him. I told Bing, “I’d love that.”

  “I’m on my way to get you guys,” he said, ending the call.

  Was this surreal? Was he for real? Did he have a woman or two here in Atlanta? Married, single, bisexual, straight, gay, lesbian? Lots of people had multiple situations. I wasn’t going to dwell on Bing possibly not being totally honest. I liked the way Bing expressed interest in me and that was that.

  I shouldn’t ask this, “But, God, why am I leaving now that you’ve sent me the one?”

  There I went getting ahead again of letting the man take charge. He made me feel good. About him. About myself.

  Picking up Max, I gave him a passionate hug. Maybe the love I have for my dog allowed my heart to open up. Definitely couldn’t credit Billy for my willingness to be vulnerable this soon after my breakup with Spencer. I hadn’t heard from Billy Blackstone since I got Max, but if I ever saw him, I’d thank him.

  I called Alexis.

  She answered, “Hi, Mom.”

  “You sound sad. Is everything okay?”

  “I’m just grateful, Mom. Not sure what direction my life is going in, but I’m at lunch with Tréme talking things out with someone who, no offense, won’t judge or condemn me.”

  “None taken. I understand. I called because I need a huge favor.”

  “From me?” my daughter asked.

  “Yes. Can you keep Max until I get settled in Charlotte?”

  Alexis laughed.

  “I’m serious.”

  “No, Mom. I’m not laughing at you. Tréme just told me I needed to get a dog or a cat. Something to love and care for. So my answer is yes. He’s a cool dude. When do you want me to get him?”

  “In an hour,” I said, crossing my fingers.

  “Drop him off.”

  “I’ll give you money to care for him. He’s expensive.”

  “Mom, I’m good,” she said.

  I frowned. This was not the daughter I was familiar with. Since she was a kid, Alexis never turned down money from any source even when she had her own.

  “Okay, sweetie. I’ll see you at eleven. Bye.”

  “Ma.”

  “Yes.”

  “I love you,” she said. “Bye.”

  Before my baby girl hung up, I told her, “I love you, too, sweetheart.”

  Since I was driving, I’d pack enough clothes for two weeks. Ten business suits. Ten pair of shoes. Enough panties and bras for twenty-eight days. I’d purchase toiletries when I got there. This promotion was a long time coming. Grateful, I had no buts. If Bing were meant for me, things would work out.

  Zipping my suits in garment bags, I put my shoes in a suitcase. My underwear inside a leather tote. My Buckhead residence would become my weekend getaway. Every weekend could be a vacation. I’d fly back Friday night or Saturday morning and leave out Sunday afternoon. The company would reimburse me for all relocation expenses and pay the closing cost on the purchase of a home in the Charlotte area.

  “Come on, Max,” I said, carrying my wardrobe to the garage. Had to make two trips to get everything in the trunk of my Benz.

  The doorbell rang. Max barked, looked at me, wagged his tail, barked again. The entire time he stayed at my side. He looked at me again. Stared at the door as if to say, if you’re not going, I’m not going.

  Opening the door, I thought it was Bing.

  Spencer said, “Blake. Please. Can we talk before you leave? I want to apologize to you.”

  “Ap
ology accepted.” I motioned to close the door.

  He held it open, stepped inside. Max started barking at him.

  “Hey, dude. It’s me, Spencer. Chill.”

  Max wagged his tail. Licked Spencer’s hand. I picked my baby up.

  A black town car cruised into my driveway. The driver opened the door. A pair of impeccably shined black shoes appeared first. Navy slacks, a light blue button-up with pinstripes, and the face of a man who cared for me beamed in the sunlight. My heart raced with excitement.

  Bing leaned against the rear of the car.

  Fearing what Bing would think seeing Spencer in my home, I whispered, “You shouldn’t have come here. Please, leave.”

  I wasn’t stupid. Spencer wanted to piss on what was once his and I refused to let him give Bing the impression we were still involved. I made sure there was six feet of space between us.

  I told Spencer the truth, “You were never good for me.”

  He shook his head. “I just wanted to see you one last time.” His eyes scanned down to my vagina. He licked his lips seductively. “Do you still have feelings for me?”

  Spencer wasn’t desirable. My pussy didn’t pucker. Eyes didn’t shine. There was no smile on my face. He was good to me in the beginning. I was . . . whatever.

  “No, I do not.” In my professional proper banking tone, I told him, “Spencer, it is over between us. I hurt you. You lied to me.” When I said, “Please do not show up at my house unannounced again,” Bing headed in our direction. I said loud enough for Bing to hear, “Spencer, we have nothing to discuss.”

  Bypassing Spencer, Bing said, “Hi, Blake. You ready? We don’t want to be late for our reservation.”

  Max’s tiny tail wagged hard against my arm. His body moved side to side. He almost wiggled out of my arms when he saw Bing.