Diana in Search of Herself
Page 57
2 “as if no other woman”: DT, 4/7/98
3 Diana and Charles had successfully toured: DM, 11/22/86
4 “It wasn’t a typical seduction”: DEx, 9/3/98
5 “Charles was involved with Camilla”: DM, 11/28/98
6 “I always want the unobtainable”: Sun, 1/12/98
7 for which he compensated: DM, 11/28/98
8 “I couldn’t read and assumed”: Ibid.
9 “I had red hair, was short”: Ibid.
10 During his school days, Hewitt used: Ibid.
11 “He lost his trust in people”: B-AP, p. 55
12 as a “decoy,” Emma later said: DT, 4/7/98
13 “was holding long whispered”: Ibid.
14 “She let her fingers mingle”: B-AP, p. 86
15 he had “trusted” the Oxford-educated: DEx, 9/3/98
16 “vaguely, socially”: You magazine, 9/20/98
17 it was widely ridiculed: DEx, 9/3/98
18 “Yes, I adored him”: Pano, p. 27
19 “factual evidence”: Ibid., p. 26
20 “there was a lot of fantasy”: Ibid., p. 27
21 “She knew that somewhere”: B-AP, p. 75
22 “It was with James Hewitt’s unswerving”: Ibid., p. xiii
23 “spent hours lying in bed”: Ibid., pp. 87–88
24 “I was with her because”: DM, 11/28/98
25 “release from the tension”: B-AP, p. 34
26 “emotional roller coaster”: Ibid., p. 171
27 In the beginning she would sit: Ibid., p. 156
28 “violent paroxysms of despair”: Ibid., p. 171
29 “struck her as a form”: Ibid., p. 170
30 “he had never seen anyone so distraught”: Ibid., p. 138
31 “Often she felt as if she was perching”: Ibid., p. 142
32 “lack of control … unmitigated greed”: Ibid., p. 117
33 he couldn’t reveal: Ibid., pp. 124–25
34 “I view depression as a sign”: DM, 11/28/98
35 “Some people go to psychiatrists”: DEx, 9/3/98
36 Diana expressed her affection: DM, 7/18/91; ES, 9/13/92
37 “head to foot”: Sun, 8/24/92
38 At least one maid worried: B-WB, p. 87
39 “she would try anything to win”: B-AP, p. 126
40 “an attempt by others”: Interview with David Puttnam
41 she began to tell Hewitt she hated: B-AP, p. 127
42 When their guests arrived: B-WB, p. 66
43 “That is the total agony”: B-JD, p. 477 (PC letter 10/24/87 to unnamed recipient)
44 stripped of the basic civility: NOTW, 9/20/87
45 “an obsession for her”: B-AP, p. 160
46 then retreat to her room: B-WB, p. 69
47 “the biggest story they’d ever”: R&R-Doc, Part II, p. 24
48 “a version of the facts”: B-JD, p. 574
49 The first significant clue: DEx, DS, DM, 2/12/87
50 “the last time we were close”: B-AM1, p. 50
51 Charles had resumed: NOTW, 12/28/86; DT, 8/28/86
52 invariably prompted rebukes: B-JD, p. 483
53 hinted unfairly and incorrectly: Ibid., p. 482; DM, 10/19/87
54 “eclipsed by the Princess, resentful”: B-JD, p. 476
55 “I can’t see a light”: Ibid., p. 483 (PC letter 10/24/87 to unnamed recipient)
56 “unable to turn to his parents”: Ibid., p. 476
57 “When marriages break down”: Ibid., p. 480
58 tried to get Charles to build: B-WB, pp. 46–47
59 “The very fact that she felt”: B-AP, p. 142
60 “slashed … adjusted to hide the damage”: B-PJ2, p. 137
61 “She was like the sun coming up”: TNY, 9/15/97
62 “undignified”: DM, 2/18/87
63 “black lover”: ST, 9/23/90
64 she smirked while reviewing: B-PT, p. 44; B-SF, p. 124
65 “sexy” Diana … “grumpy” Charles: DS, 2/23/87
66 Diana’s bulimia had again: B-AP, pp. 144–45
67 Waterhouse and Dunne: SuPe, 6/28/87; DM, 11/2/88; MOS, 2/17/91
68 “mystery fat man”: NOTW, 6/28/87
69 “stormed off”: Ibid., 6/21/87
70 “in a huff”: DM, 6/21/87
71 The tabloids castigated: Sun, 6/23/87
72 “We are not having”: Ibid.
73 “frequent visitor to Kensington”: B-JD, p. 481
74 Waterhouse also visited: B-WB, p. 82
75 “repeatedly tried to reassure”: B-AP, p. 260
76 which especially galled: B-JD, pp. 476, 482
77 accused Diana: B-WB, p. 60
78 “positive hurricane”: B-JD, p. 483 (PC letter 10/24/87 to unnamed recipient)
79 They spent several weekends: B-WB, pp. 78, 80; SuMi, 2/14/88
80 A group of advisers: NYT Magazine, 2/21/88
81 “Disco Di,” the femme fatale: DM, 9/25/87
82 “so many cock-ups … stop fighting”: B-AM1, p. 64
83 “rediscover the real”: Ibid., p. 157
84 “comparatively civilized ‘space’ ”: B-PT, p. 52
85 “They were back in sparkling”: SuMi, 2/14/88
86 “glanced affectionately at his wife”: DM, 1/27/88
87 “she now hated with a vitriolic”: B-AP, p. 166
88 they appeared to their staff more calm: B-WB, p. 84
89 “worse than her usual melancholy”: B-AP, p. 185
90 Charles acted heroically: Ti, 3/12/88
91 “He just pushed me aside”: B-PT, p. 61
92 She insisted that they take: B-AM1, p. 60
93 “so inadequate in every”: Ibid.
94 “We cried for Prince Charles”: DEx, 3/15/88
95 “the beginning of a slow process”: B-AM1, p. 161
96 Back in England with Hewitt: B-AP, p. 186
97 She lashed out: Ibid., p. 191
98 “most beautiful woman … found her attractive”: Ibid., p. 193
99 She said that her skin: B-AM1, p. 61
100 But by 1988, people had begun: Interview with William Haseltine
101 “painfully thin, almost gaunt”: To, 3/25/88
102 “suddenly woke up”: B-AM1, p. 61
103 “sweetheart … four or five”: Ibid.
104 “born again”: Ibid.
105 “finished”: Ibid., p. 60
106 suffered from the symptoms in 1990: Ibid., p. 61
107 who only overcame: WO, 4/8/78
CHAPTER 14
1 “She’d never ask if she”: Sun, 1/15/98
2 “tended to seek out people”: B-PT, p. 207
3 “from one person to another”: B-JK, p. 78
4 “immediately began to pour”: Sun, 1/15/98
5 “easily defeated … strong character”: B-AM1, p. 208
6 “What is going to happen”: Sun, 1/15/98
7 “believe [astrology] totally”: B-AM1, p. 66
8 “She was not ruled”: Ibid., p. 200
9 “her belief [was] at times”: Ibid., p. 237
10 “go through a transformation”: Sun, 8/24/92
11 “willful and capable of … inner strength”: Rita Rogers, From One World to Another (1998), p. 246
12 Diana believed she communicated …“nut”: B-AM1, pp. 65–66
13 “deep emotional problems”: B-RK, p. 148
14 “I think the most important thing”: ITV-Doc
15 For four years, energy healer: B-RK, p. 148
16 “truckloads of negative”: B-SS, p. 19
17 “rarely met anyone”: Ibid., p. 18
18 routinely fielded eight-hour phone calls: Ibid., p. 34
19 “always seemed completely compos”: Ibid., p. 19
20 Diana claimed to experience: B-AM1, p. 66
21 “I know this sounds a bit”: Sun, 8/24/92
22 she had been a nun: B-AM1, p. 243
23 she told Penny Thornton: B-PT, p. 79
24 She spo
ke of voices: B-AM1, pp. 34, 62
25 “strange feeling … drop down”: Ibid., p. 29
26 “visualize … burning it”: B-AM2, p. 14
27 “take all the aggro”: Ibid.
28 “so that they would be in different”: B-SS, p. 132
29 “a peculiar mixture”: Interview with Kent Ravenscroft
30 “helps me to keep calm”: B-RK, p. 148
31 “she had reached a very low point”: SuEx, 7/5/92
32 “an eating disorder which in Chinese”: DM, 2/24/98
33 research studies have shown: WP, 10/13/98
34 “just to tell me what she had”: Rogers, p. 241
35 “Most of all … she needed”: Sun, 1/15/98
36 “support and love”: Pano, p. 8
37 “they weren’t aware”: Ibid.
38 “created a new royal role”: DEx, 11/14/89
39 “I want to feel I am needed”: SuTel, 9/7/97
40 “the toughest battle of”: SuEx, 8/25/91
41 “Diana was a good friend”: Interview with William Haseltine
42 “She was very, very nervous”: Interview with Michael Adler
43 “We hope if people see”: DEx, 1/10/87
44 “Princess Diana should shake”: Mi, 1/29/87
45 “It was highly programmed”: Interview with Michael Adler
46 “I found myself being more”: Pano, p. 4
47 “The caring princess has thrown”: To, 5/24/88
48 “a cooler and more independent”: ST, 9/25/88
49 “fully fledged emergence”: DM, 1/25/89
50 “the line between recreational”: DM, 5/19/89
51 250 engagements: DM, 6/10/89; Sun, 6/9/89
52 “I say, ‘Did you see’ ”: B-AM1, p. 66
53 “I would have an ongoing”: Interview with Michael Adler
54 “fulfilled her public”: Interview with William Haseltine
55 “I used to write her the most”: ITV-Doc
56 In 1988, Diana began visiting: To, 11/30/88; DEx, 12/15/88; DM, 4/21/89
57 “She was totally involved”: To, 5/24/89
58 She even kept a copy: Sun, 4/16/91
59 “Some people find it very”: DT, 6/17/89
60 “was completely intuitive”: Sutel, 9/7/97
61 “She did have a powerful”: Interview with Michael Adler
62 “This morning I arrived”: Requiem: Diana, Princess of Wales, 1961–1997: Memories and Tributes (1997), edited by Brian MacArthur, p. 107
63 “She often felt powerless”: Sun, 1/15/98
64 “she knew exactly what”: Interview with Cosima Somerset
65 “more open and more vulnerable”: Pano, p. 4
66 “was declared a loser”: B-SF, p. 138
67 “opened a vacancy”: Ibid., p. 137
68 “appalling … crass, rude”: Ibid., p. 138
69 DUCHESS OF PORK!: Ibid., p. 143
70 when her father was caught: To, 5/23/88
71 “as cozy and personal”: B-SF, p. 110
72 Besides his £35,000 ($55,000) salary: B-SF, pp. 158–59
73 Diana and Charles, on the: B-JD, pp. 614–15
74 Fergie was amassing: B-SF, p. 159
75 “gray men”: Ibid., p. 149
76 “hopelessly erratic”: Ibid., p. 154
77 In a conversation with her friend: Sun, 8/24/92
CHAPTER 15
1 Since they irritated: B-WB, pp. 86, 92–94, 107–9, 120
2 “I was very bad about”: I-FSK
3 “The media descended”: MOS, 3/9/97
4 “You have seduced”: Sun, 11/9/88
5 “sexy dance”: DM, 11/11/88
6 “We got the balance”: TV Times, 11/11/89
7 “triumphant tour”: SuPe, 11/13/88
8 “disaster … all evening”: SuPe, 3/17/91 (The article’s byline was “Frances Cornwell,” one of James Whitaker’s pseudonyms.)
9 “valiant front”: B-AP, p. 195
10 “were sticking together”: TNY, 9/15/97
11 “painful emotions and thoughts”: SuEx, 7/5/92
12 “presence of Camilla”: Sun, 1/12/98
13 “a voice inside me said”: B-AM1, p. 62
14 “the most famous welfare”: Ti, 2/3/89
15 DI-VINE: Gua, 2/13/89
16 “hold her head high … having done her bit”: B-AP, p. 206
17 “needled me the whole”: B-AM1, p. 62
18 “as if we were all best”: Ibid., p. 63
19 Diana said she realized she was “in the way”: Ibid.
20 “It was … seven years’ pent-up … “I just said”: Ibid.
21 “For a few weeks she would”: B-AP, p. 144
22 She took Hewitt: Ibid., pp. 197–203
23 Diana viewed it as abandonment: Ibid., p. 220
24 “She loved with an everlasting”: Interview with Paul Johnson; Memoirs of Cardinal de Retz, Vol. 1, pp. 150–51
25 “their respective love lives”: B-AM1, p. 188
26 “secret late date”: SuPe, 10/29/89
27 “It’s very hard”: To, 10/31/89
28 “darling”: Descriptions of the Gilbey conversation are drawn from the transcript published on 8/24/92 in The Sun. The reference to “playing with yourself” was not included in the Sun transcription but appeared in B-JW, p. 89.
29 “adulterous relationship”: Pano, p. 22
30 It had none of Diana’s: Descriptions of the Camilla conversation are drawn from the transcript published on 1/17/93 in the Sunday Mirror.
31 “Saint Diana”: DEx, 11/14/89
32 “Faced with the horror”: SuMi, 11/5/89
33 “turns a blind eye to”: DEx, 7/11/90
34 “heat-wave hairstyle”: DS, 7/25/90
35 Andrew Morton’s report: ST, 6/17/90
36 “ill-informed”: ES, 6/26/90
37 Diana sat by his bedside: DM, 6/30/90, 9/5/90
38 “brushed aside”: B-PT, p. 76
39 Camilla was a frequent: B-WB, pp. 125–26
40 “snap out of the gloom”: To, 10/22/90
41 “an affectionate accommodation”: ST, 9/23/90
42 “blackmail-style notes”: NOTW, 8/30/92
43 “I knew about Charles”: Interview with Max Hastings
44 Over the Christmas holidays: B-WB, pp. 134–35
45 “We went through the various”: Interview with Stuart Higgins
46 “Patsy Chapman, the editor”: Interview with Andrew Knight
47 “Diana certainly knew”: Interview with Stuart Higgins
48 “someone very close”: Interview with Richard Kay
49 Since Iraq’s invasion: B-WB, pp. 130, 136
50 Throughout the autumn: B-AP, pp. 224, 253
51 Diana began writing: Ibid., p. 235; DM, 4/2/98
52 “long, flowing letters”: B-AP, pp. 235–36
53 “finally trying to understand”: Ibid., p. 239
54 “the truth about Charles and Camilla”: Ibid., p. 251
55 Diana constantly vacillated: Ibid., p. 263
56 “Something had to be done”: Ibid., p. 252
57 “we first put the words”: B-SF, p. 187
58 “cause for concern”: DM, 2/17/91, 2/25/91
59 when he reached Diana: B-AP, p. 262
60 his estranged girlfriend: SuMi, 3/17/91; ES, 7/2/91
61 “Diana cannot afford”: Mi, 3/18/91
62 When Hewitt returned: B-AP, pp. 270–71
63 “rejected … used”: Ibid., p. 274
64 “She simply stopped”: DEx, 9/3/98
65 “glimpse of the old magic”: SuEx, 7/14/91
66 “a united front”: SuMi, 4/28/91
67 “I walked in”: Interview with William Reilly
68 “very tense. The marriage was”: DM, 1/15/98
69 “If Charles was off to see”: Interview with Andrew Neil
70 “often has to act as”: DM, 4/4/91
71 “Charles insists that his”: Mi, 4/13/91
7
2 “depressed fracture”: Mi, 6/4/91
73 At that point, Charles decided: B-JD, p. 576
74 “bedside vigil”: Mi, 6/4/91
75 “a fractured skull is not”: Sun, 6/5/91
76 PHANTOM FATHER: DEx, 6/5/91
77 THE EXHAUSTED FACE OF A LOVING MOTHER: To, 6/5/91
78 Diana later told Morton: B-AM1, p. 179
79 “horror and disbelief”: Ibid., p. 176
80 shifting back and forth: These reports included DEx, 2/8/91, 2/9/91; DM, 3/12/91; Sun, 4/16/91; DM 4/17/91; Mi, 5/6/91
81 “Since the Prince broke”: Sun, 5/20/91
82 “He ignores me everywhere”: B-AM1, p. 57
83 “It was an open secret”: Interview with Peter McKay
84 “came back very excited”: Interview with Sue Douglas
85 “Princess Diana is to spend”: DM, 6/28/91
86 “That was straight PR”: Interview with Nigel Dempster
87 “It was a well-bred lady’s”: Ibid.
88 “growing coolness”: DM, 7/2/91
89 “The sad truth”: Sun, 7/3/91
90 “friendship with Hewitt”: ES, 7/2/91
91 “finds Mrs. Parker Bowles”: DM, 7/18/91
92 “supper for two”: Sun, 7/9/91
93 “Charles and Diana’s summer”: ST, 7/7/91
94 “I was told that both”: DT, 1/13/93
CHAPTER 16
1 “cozy supper”: DEx, 7/25/91
2 “She thought she was a wise soul”: ITV-Doc
3 “a huge amount of hostility”: ITV-Doc
4 “everything was in her”: Interview with Roberto Devorik
5 Diana told friends that she believed: DM, 1/15/98
6 “the lid was being”: Interview with Andrew Morton
7 “at the end of my tether”: Pano, p. 17
8 “horrible sadness … the very worst time”: Hello!, 11/22/97
9 “She was on the verge”: ST, 11/1/98
10 “She was a woman scorned”: Interview with Andrew Roberts
11 “Most people who knew her”: Interview with Andrew Morton
12 she and Diana formed: Interview with Andrew Knight
13 “Angela was very important”: Interview with Andrew Morton
14 “conduit”: B-AM1, p. 14
15 “nibbling around”: Interview with Andrew Morton
16 “royal sniper”: DS, 12/1/82
17 “It is just another indication”: NOTW, 5/4/86
18 “I didn’t know about the bulimia”: Interview with Andrew Morton
19 who was also a friend of Morton’s: B-PT, pp. 120–21