Taking Chances

by Taylor, Janelle

  “He’s doing fine with his new job. They like Denver. They—”

  “Mom, what’s wrong? Are you crying?”

  Kirstin struggled to get her emotions under control.

  “Mom, what is it?”

  “It’s Steve; right now, he hates me, Sandi, and I don’t know what to do about it. I haven’t told him about Christopher. He would think I’m betraying your father. We just had an argument over the phone, so I’m a little upset, that’s all. I’ll be fine.”

  “What did he say? What’s he done to you?”

  “This is long distance, Sandi, costing you a fortune.”

  “I can afford it. Spill the beans now, Mom, all of them.”

  “I don’t want to burden you with this when you’re so far away. I didn’t mean to upset you, too. It just hurts so much.”

  Kirstin related the sad story, pausing a few times to master her tears.

  “That sorry snake! How dare he treat you like that! Overlook him, Mom; he’s being a fool. You’ve done nothing wrong, so don’t feel guilty.”

  “He has a way of making me feel that way, like I’m the enemy.”

  “You aren’t selfish. Nobody could have been a better mother than you. He’s the selfish and self-centered one, not you. That babysitting business is pure crap. He shouldn’t take ad-” vantage of you, and he should have understood after you explained. He knows what diabetes is; it’s in our family, and he dated a girl with it for a long time. You remember Doris; he had to rush her to the hospital once when she passed out on him. As for kids, I only have one and he runs me ragged.”

  “He’s just so bitter about your father. I’m not even sure he realizes that’s his problem. It’s going to eat him alive if he doesn’t accept it. If only he’d get counseling.”

  Kirstin didn’t want to cause hard feelings between her children. She hadn’t wanted to involve the girls in her problem with Steve. But it was wrong to keep it from them, and Steve probably wouldn’t keep silent, either. “I’ll talk to him again after we’ve both had time to calm down.”

  They chatted a “ while longer, then said. goodbye. Kirstin hung up feeling better. After all, two out of three children loved and appreciated her, understood her, and wanted her to be happy. What she didn’t know, because Sandi didn’t tell her, was that Steve was going to receive a long and serious talk from her as soon as she could dial his number. Nor did Kirstin suspect it would come on top of the one he’d just received from Katie, who raked him over the coals after he revealed his conversation with their mother and made some nasty remarks.

  Exhausted from the busy day and expenditure of emotion, Kirstin took a hot shower and went to bed.

  At the ranch on Sunday evening, Christopher answered a call from his daughter.

  “How are things going, Dad? I haven’t heard from you this week. I guess you’ve been busy.”

  “Kirstin’s gone, if that’s what you mean. She left Thursday morning, bright and early.”

  “You sound in the dumps, Dad. That’s only been a few days.”

  “It feels like ages. This blasted house is too quiet without her.”

  “So, when’s she coming back to visit?”

  “I don’t know. I asked her to stay but she wouldn’t.”

  “What do you mean, ‘asked her to stay’?”

  “I asked her to marry me, Peg. I love her. She’s the woman I want to spend my life with.”

  “She refused?”

  “Not exactly.” Christopher gave the highlights of their problem.

  “Her career means more to her than you do and you still want her?”

  “Kirstin has her first taste of freedom and independence in over twenty years. She loves research, as much as I love surgery. I can’t blame her for wanting both of us.”

  “If she has to make a choice, Dad, it should be you, if she loves you.”

  “I don’t doubt that fact for a moment, squirt. Neither should you.”

  “Have you considered moving to California?”

  “A thousand times since she left. I don’t know if I can face that again. We were perfect together while she was here. We work well together. She walked in and gave my miserable life a good shaking. She made me feel happy and come alive. She made this house feel like a home. We had fun, Peg. We have a lot in common. It will never be the same here without her. I feel like she ripped out my heart and soul and took them with her. I know you don’t like her or trust her, squirt, but she’s the best thing that ever happened to me besides you and surgery. She’s special, Peg, very special in every way.”

  “Sounds as if you have it bad for her. Are you sure, Dad? You’ve only known her for a short time.”

  “How long did you know Phil before you knew he was the one for you?”

  Peggy laughed. “I get your point; the first time I laid eyes on him. We were engaged in a month. But we didn’t marry for a year; we had time to test our feelings.”

  “Would you give her a hard time if I married her? I’m aware your conversation with her was more than you told me. I have to know some of the things you said to her.”

  Embarrassed, Peggy related the talk with Kirstin. “I’m sorry, Dad, if I did anything to spoil things between you two. I’ll phone her and apologize.”

  “Let it go for now. She has two daughters so she probably guessed your intentions were good.”

  “They were. I love you and only want what’s best for you.”

  “Kirstin is what’s best for me, Peg.”

  “If you don’t change your feelings about her soon, go after her.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Compromise, Dad. At least check out San Diego. How do you know it won’t work if you don’t research it? You’ve been stuck out there for three years. Maybe it’s time to get back into the mainstream. You’re not a rancher; you’re a doctor; “you should be working fulltime in some branch of the medical field. And you aren’t a cripple, so stop seeing yourself as one. You always told me to do the best I could in every situation. Take your own advice.”

  “That’s easy to say, but not easy to do.”

  “Life and love aren’t easy, Dad; they’re challenges.”

  “I’ll give it more thought.”

  “Don’t think too long; she’s out there among a lot of competition. She might get the idea you were only having fun with her and look elsewhere. If she’s who you want, don’t take a chance on losing her.”

  Kirstin talked with Elaine and Betty, who gave her much the same advice as her daughters had yesterday. She wandered around the apartment, then went for a brisk walk.

  Preparing for a shower, she removed the bracelet Christopher had given her and put on the one from Medic Alert with all the information about her engraved on the underside. She dangled Christopher’s in the air and gazed at it. “I love you, Doctor Harrison. What shall I do about you?” She dropped the inexpensive but precious gift into her jewelry box and headed for the bathroom.

  She needed a long and soothing soak in the large tub. Tomorrow, she would begin a new job. So many changes and adjustments, so many decisions to make. What the future would bring, she didn’t know. For now, she would concentrate on her work and hope there wouldn’t be any problems at Medico.

  Seventeen

  On the Harrison Ranch, Christopher told his best friend, “She’s gone, John. I tried everything to get her to stay, but she wouldn’t. Her job means too much to her, maybe more than I do. It’s been a long five days for me, but she’s having a ball out there. Hell, we’ve only talked once!”

  “Bi’niiya, Chris, it’s more than a mere job, and she had to get settled in. Think, old boy: remember how you felt when you were forced to give up surgery? I do.” The sullen physician frowned at the officer but he was not deterred from saying what he thought was needed.” “But you want to force Kirstin to give up research; you expect her to do it. Where does it say she loves and needs her career any less than you do, any less than you did?”

  “Maria would
move or stay with you at the drop of a hat. And she wouldn’t even consider a transfer like this one. She’d quit work first.”

  “Kirstin isn’t like Maria. Kirstin’s fought hard to get where she is. She’s special, ch’unne’; that’s why you want her so much. Am I wrong?”

  “I’ve never known any female who didn’t quit her job to transfer with her husband, or any man who left his work behind for a wife to relocate.”

  “You two aren’t married, Chris, not even engaged. Couples with a longtime history have a marriage bond compromise. You don’t have that with Kirstin; you have known each other only a few weeks. Asking her to make sacrifices and take a risk moving here when you aren’t willing to do the same isn’t fair, ch’unne’. She didn’t even know you loved her and wanted to marry her until she was ready to leave and her plans were already in motion. Your revelations must have come as surprises, maybe shocks, to her. I suspect she needs time to consider such an important decision. I would also think she feels she has responsibilities and a loyalty to Medico.”

  “Women quit work all the time to get married, relocate, or have babies. Aren’t those things more important than a career?”

  “It should be the same with a man, Chris. Besides, you two haven’t even met each other’s children; they have a part in this matter, too. Also, both of you came out of bad marriages; don’t you think she’s just as scared as you are about changing her life so drastically? Maybe she needs to make certain this love is for real, not just passion talking. It did happen mighty fast. Swept in like a twister if you asked me and spun you both around until you’re dizzy. You love her, don’t you?” The troubled doctor nodded. “She’s worth a compromise, a move, isn’t she?” Christopher grimaced. “I know you like your friends and neighbors, the ranch your uncle left you, and this peaceful area, but do you truly love them above all else, and is this really how you want to spend the rest of your life?” John saw his friend’s pensive look. “I know you, Chris, you’re no rancher bone deep and a small practice isn’t enough for you, not after the road you’ve traveled. It’s like you’ve been biding your time until this golden chance came along. Grab it and take it, ch’unne’. Don’t you realize, nothing will satisfy you any more without Kirstin to share it?”

  “Kirstin must be lonesome and miserable, too,” he surmised. “I’ll wait a while to see if she likes it there. San Diego is mighty different from a small Georgia town. That part of Medico may be nothing like the one where she worked in Augusta. Kirstin didn’t strike me as a big-city lover: the noise, traffic, pollution, crime, expense. She might hate her new boss and have no interest in his projects. After being here, she might decide she prefers me, the ranch, and a quiet life. How do I know research and independence will mean as much to her if she thinks she’ll lose me so she can have them? I’ll let her have the thinking time she wants. If she refuses to move in with me, a decision this big on my part will take time and deep thought.”

  “Don’t count on her tossing it away and returning here, Chris. Frank would snap up this place in a minute. You can turn your practice over to Niles. You can find a position or create a partnership in San Diego. Remember what you told me happened at the poker game? Are you sure your love and loyalty belong here more than with Kirstin?”

  “I just throw in the towel and chase after her?”

  John grinned and chuckled. “Why not? I would if it were Maria.”

  But Kirstin isn’t Maria and I’m not Captain John Two Fists.

  Kirstin’s first day at work seemed to evaporate faster than pool water on a hot and dry day. Afterward, she talked with Katie, who told her the wonderful news that Steve had seen a therapist. Then, Katie gave the other side of the coin: her brother hadn’t decided if he was going to continue. Katie finished the chat with other good news: she had a bit part for a week, maybe two, in a television soap opera. That meant she couldn’t make up the cut-short visit last weekend by returning on this one.

  “Don’t worry, nosy, you can meet Christopher another time.”

  They chatted a while longer before Katie had to leave for a date.

  Kirstin called Elaine in Augusta. “Still up, stranger? Are you alone?”

  “Yes to both. You sound in a terrific mood. What’s the cause?”

  “What and who,” Kirstin replied and laughed again. “The what is work, my friend. I wish you were here to share this new challenge. You’d love it, too. Medico is fantastic, exciting; it’s huge, Elaine, and a little intimidating; no, a lot intimidating. The who is my new boss; Dr. Charles Summeraul is wonderful. We got acquainted while he was giving me a tour of the complex; heavens, it’s enormous and it has high-tech security: cameras, guards, checkpoints, badges, the works. They issued me a clearance badge and a card key to wear around my neck for admittance to private and/ or hazardous locations: both of them are marked with my name, fingerprint, and photo so no one else can use them. They’re real sticklers for secrecy and defense, nothing like how it was there. At first, I was almost afraid to breathe wrong. I got a new nuclear medicine badge, too,” she related, referring to a two-part badge—one permanent card and one to be changed monthly which tested for radioactive contamination— to be worn at all times for protection. She knew how many microcuries she was allowed to have on her badge readings before being treated for radiation poisoning and becoming dangerous to herself and others. She also knew that a spill of a “hot” material could have a laboratory put off limits for a specified—if clean-up was possible—or permanent time period, if it wasn’t. She knew it was critical to use caution with perilous products and procedures and know how to dispose of contaminated waste properly. “He showed which facilities and areas I’ll use in our work and which ones are forbidden to my med-tech level. I met other Medico researchers, assistants, and various staff members. Everybody seems nice and helpful; I got a real southern welcome.

  “My visit to the human resources office took quite a while. I had to put my name on so many papers that I almost felt as if I were signing my life away. You should see the size of the Benefits and Regulations manual they gave me. They filled my head with tons of instructions and rules. I’m officially employed, Elaine; it’s done.”

  “Any problems when you told them about the diabetes?”

  “I didn’t, not yet. But I will. We ate lunch in an adjacent building in a lovely cafeteria. The food was delicious and I had no trouble getting the food I need. To be on the safe side, I had an ample supply of glucose tablets in my pocket. I’m going to stick to my original plan and reveal my news later, soon. I’m only two miles from my apartment, so I can go home for lunch if I like.”

  “Did you and the new boss get down to any business today?”

  “After lunch, we sat in his office to discuss the first project and future ones.”

  “I’m proud of you, Kirstin. I know it’s exciting to be in such a stimulating and prestigious place.”

  “It is,” she concurred. “I must have glowed with pride over the way they treated me, like I was valuable and indispensable.”

  “You are. That’s why they were so eager to keep you. What’s the new boss like? Goodlooking? Any chance he isn’t married? I bet he’s pleased to have you as his assistant and he has to be impressed by your record. I mean, your last two bosses listed you in the medical journals as their research assistant. What did that last one say?”

  “I believe, ‘Research done by Kirstin Lowrey.’”

  “Believe?” Elaine echoed amidst laughter. “I thought we framed the entire article. If not, it was an oversight. So, what’s the old boy like?”

  “I liked him on sight; I’m going to enjoy working with him. He has gentle brown eyes and a pleasant manner. Neat and attractive, even his mustache and short beard. Remember the old TV show, Marcus Welby, M.D.? That’s who came to mind, but he favors Welby’s assistant more than him. He has a grandfatherly aura.”

  “How old is he?”

  “Two years older than I am. He seemed impressed by my experiment sugg
estions. He wrote them down and we discussed them. We talked about families, past projects, and common interests. He seems happily married and he didn’t make the slightest pass at me.”

  “So you spent the first day touring, signing, and chatting?”

  “Nope, we donned white lab coats and dug in to the first experiment. It’s going to be a long and well-funded project. I’m so excited about it. I can hardly wait to get back to work on it tomorrow.”

  “Sounds as if you made wise choices. Both the relocation from Augusta and not staying in New Mexico. How is the sexy doctor taking your absence?”

  “I’m not sure. But he’s coming to visit me this weekend and I can hardly wait.”

  “You want them both, don’t you?”

  “Yes, with all my heart. Cross your fingers for me.”

  “I wish you luck, Kirstin, both at Medico and with Christopher. I’m. downright jealous, pea-green with envy. But I do have some good news.”

  “What? Tell me, you devil. I know that tone. Who is he?”

  “Remember Bob Martin?”

  “The one we met at the gym before I left?”

  “The same. We’ve been out three times and he seems to be really interested in me. Believe it or not, I’m taking it slow this time. I don’t want to scare him off or give him a bad impression. He’s old-fashioned.”

  “They still have those kind around? How lucky can we both get?”

  They joined in laughter, then chatted about Elaine’s new romance and job at the Medical College of Georgia.

  After they hung up, Kirstin smiled. She was going to enjoy working with Charles Summeraul in his laboratory, and at the Medico complex. In a good mood, she phoned Christopher, half expecting not to get him.

  “Kirstin, glad you called and I was home this time.”

  “So am I. How are things going?”

  “About the same. What about with you? First-day jitters over yet?”

  “Almost.” She told him many, most, of the same things she had related to Elaine. She added, “Our next project is one dear to my heart: effect of. diabetes on vision—causes, cures, and preventions. Our current project is dear to yours: it involves new heart medications: one is hoped to be an aid during openheart surgery and transplants, your specialty.”