Taking Chances

by Taylor, Janelle

  “My former specialty. So, you love everything there; that’s good for you, bad for me. It means you won’t be tempted to ditch it all and return to me.”

  “I don’t need to throw it away, not if you move here. You could be a valuable asset to this project and others. Doctor Summeraul said he needs the assistance of a skilled heart surgeon; that’s you, Doc. The three of us would make a super team.”

  “No, Kirstin, it isn’t me. Research is your interest, not mine.”

  “You don’t have to become a researcher to provide information and suggestions and evaluate our findings and—”

  “Can we change the subject? Talking about surgery depresses me.”

  “Okay. How are the ranch and your patients? Had any emergencies or made any changes lately?”

  “Neither, and all’s fine on my end.”

  “Looked at motor homes yet?”

  “Nope. Couldn’t get in the mood without you here.”

  “How are Frank and Helen?”

  “Fine. She’s glad to be home and he’s just as delighted.”

  I’m running out of small talk, my love. “How is Peggy?”

  “Doing fine, too. We had a long talk yesterday. How are your kids?”

  No details about that chat with your daughter? Uh-oh. “Katie’s on cloud nine,” she said, and told him why. “Sandi’s great. She’s coming to visit in a few weeks. I can hardly wait to see her and my grandson. I bet he’s grown like a weed. She says he’s walking and trying to talk. I plan to get a supply of toys for his visit.”

  “From how you described the place, you have plenty of room for them.”

  “For you, too. You can check it out this weekend. Heavens, I miss you. I’ll prepare my finest meal for you Friday night.”

  “I’ll make sure I arrive hungry. Heard from your son?”

  “Yes, and Katie just told me he’s in therapy. For now. I hope he sticks with it and it works. Lord knows, we both can profit from his treatment. Estrangement is torment. That’s why I didn’t want to create any problems between you and Peggy. I hope I didn’t.”

  “You didn’t. I told her I love you and proposed.”

  “You did?”

  “Why does that surprise you?”

  “I just didn’t expect you to do it so soon.”

  “Was I premature? Are you going to reject me?”

  “I haven’t and I won’t, Christopher. I love you. I want to marry you.”

  “So, come back and honor your word.”

  “I am honoring it, to Medico and myself at present. I don’t know how long it will take.”

  “Is there anything I can say or do to speed up the process?”

  “That’s something I have to work out for myself.”

  “I’m trying to understand. I love you, woman, and I’m waiting for you.”

  “And I’m waiting for you. Please reconsider your decision.”

  “I’m hoping, with time, you’ll reconsider yours. And I hope time brings you home to me.”

  “I’ll talk to you later this week and see you this weekend. I love you.”

  “I love you, too. Bye, Kirstin. Stay well and safe, love.”

  “You, too. Bye.” Darn, I forgot to ask what Peggy said about us. It couldn’t have been too bad; she didn’t talk you out of your visit.

  Kirstin started to phone her son but decided not to intrude on Steve yet. Please, God, let him see the light. Help Christopher see it, too.

  Her second workday, Kirstin joined two other research technicians for lunch. Both women were at her same professional level and also were involved in exciting projects. Talk of past and current work, families, Medico, San Diego, and other topics consumed their midday break with speed and ease. Before separating, they invited Kirstin to go shopping and have lunch on Saturday while their men were enjoying spring sports. She told them she expected company for the weekend, but promised to join them another time.

  Kirstin returned to Doctor Summeraul’s laboratory in a cheery mood. There was a note from him on her desk to inform her that he was in a meeting and to start today’s experiment without him. She donned a lab coat and went over his instructions. She made notes to use for quick reference later when her hands were occupied, then began the challenging task. She assembled the needed instruments and beakers and put out surgical and anesthesia supplies. She weighed tiny amounts of chemicals on a delicate scale which was encased in glass to prevent moisture in the air from affecting its weight. She used graduated cylinders and syringes to measure solutions and liquids, as the slightest error altered and voided the test results. She calibrated medical equipment that read and recorded responses, and made certain the units had sufficient ink and paper. She prepared the oxygenator and blood-flow tubes to keep tissue and organ samples alive and healthy. When everything was ready, she pressed a button to indicate an experiment was in progress; it illuminated a red light outside the laboratory door and sent a message to the switchboard operator that any disturbance until otherwise notified should be considered an emergency.

  As she wriggled her hands into latex gloves, she murmured, “Okay, Kirstin, let’s see how you do by yourself this afternoon. For all you know, the doctor might be testing you.”

  She drew blood samples from a specimen and marked the small tubes. Two “controls” were stored in a tray in a refrigeration unit, a third was to be used for treatment, and a fourth was placed inside the centrifuge. Its motor whirled fast as cellular elements were separated from plasma. Using a syringe, she extracted the liquid and added more markings to those tubes. She sat at the surgical table and wished Christopher was there to assist her. Soon, the experiment was in progress and her full attention was on it.

  “How is it going?”

  Kirstin jumped and squealed, then glanced at her watchful boss. “Just about finished, sir. I didn’t hear you come in.”

  “Sorry I startled you; you have some concentration.” He lifted sections of the readouts and studied them. A broad smile made creases near his large nose and chocolate eyes and on his tanned cheeks. “Excellent, Kirstin. You’ve accomplished a great deal this afternoon. I bet you’re a neat housekeeper.” His gaze slipped around the large room as he explained, “The lab’s so clean and uncluttered. My last tech was messy and, a few times, careless.”

  “Thank you. My last boss was a stickler for everything having its place, so I’m in the habit of straightening up as I go along. Let me know if it gets on your nerves.”

  “It won’t; it’s a constructive use of time. Most technicians and assistants just sit around or goof off while experiments are running; then, they fuss about having to stay late to clean up their labs. As I told you, I’m not one for overtime unless it’s a dire emergency. I love my work, but I have a family and life outside this lab.”

  Kirstin was delighted at that nonrestrictive schedule. “I’ve completed the instructions you left. Do you want to check anything or do any repeats before I shut down for today?”

  “No, everything looks in order. I couldn’t have done better myself. I’ll have no qualms about leaving you in charge. Now, I understand why Medico was so eager to keep you aboard; you’re good, very good. I’ll have to thank my last tech for quitting and the company for assigning you to me.”

  “That’s kind, Doctor Summeraul.”

  “Charles, please. We’ll be working together for a long time, I hope.”

  “So do I, Charles. I love this project and I love research.”

  “It shows, Kirstin, in your work and in your expression.”

  “Will you be here tomorrow or do you have my instructions?”

  “I’ll be here, eight o’clock. Let’s get this place cleared now.”

  Kirstin was surprised and pleased when he pitched in to help. In fifteen minutes, they were in the elevator and heading for the parking level.

  The following day, it was much the same, out by five-thirty. Kirstin was glad because she had the last doctor’s appointment of the day at six. When she reached
home, she called Katie in Los Angeles.

  “Hi, Mom, glad you called. How’s it going there?”

  “Wonderful. Doctor Summeraul let me run the experiment alone yesterday and, I might add, I was splendid.” Kirstin laughed.

  “I expect only the best from my mother. I love hearing you sound so happy and confident.”

  “Me, too, honey. How do you like doing the soap? I taped it to watch during supper. You were so good yesterday and today. I can’t wait to see tomorrow’s episode. If I’m not careful, you’ll hook me on that program.”

  “If viewership rises, they might want to keep me on.”

  “Would you like that, Katie? Will it interfere with your other jobs?”

  “It’s fun and I get plenty of exposure, but it does cramp my schedule. It’s surprising how much time and work each episode takes. I’ll wait and see. What did the new doctor say? You did see him after work?”

  “I did, and I received a fantastic report. When he checked my record book and learned how many lows I was having and how many tablets and snacks it was taking to prevent others, he took me off my pills altogether. He thinks I can control my diabetes with diet and exercise.”

  “That’s wonderful news, Mom. Make sure you stick to your routine. Just because you’re off medication, don’t forget to take care of yourself or you’ll start running highs again, and they’re worse for you than lows.”

  Kirstin was overjoyed that her daughter had educated herself on her condition. “I’ll be careful, honey. No more hypoglycemic attacks will be a relief for me. I was so scared I was going to overexert or lose track of time and have an attack in the lab, I popped extra glucose tablets just to make certain I didn’t. I’ll be so good, honey, Doctor Johnson will think he has an angel for a patient.”

  “You’d better, or I’ll move in with you and play tyrannical nursemaid.”

  “That won’t be necessary; I promise.”

  “Need privacy for your company this weekend, eh?”

  “Don’t tease me, Kathryn Lowrey. This visit is important.”

  “Think you can persuade him to stay?”

  “I hope so. I love him and miss him so. I sent him a sneaky letter yesterday. I raved about research, Medico, the apartment, San Diego, my new friends, my boss. If only I can spark his interest in them, maybe … Am I being foolish and selfish?”

  “No, Mom; keep working on him to change his mind.”

  “Have you heard from Steve again?”

  “No.”

  “What if he didn’t go back after his first visit?”

  “As you always say, ‘Let’s be optimistic.’ Now, tell me all about your victory yesterday, every juicy and exciting detail.”

  Thursday evening, Christopher phoned Kirstin. “I got your letter and check today, woman. I told you not to repay me for those car repairs!”

  “I had to; you spent so much money on me.

  “You might as well add it back to your bank balance because I’m not cashing it. That accident brought us together; it’s worth every penny to me.”

  “To me, too, Christopher, so please let me repay that debt.”

  “Repay me in another way.”

  “You have anything special in mind?”

  “I’ll think of something before we get together. It seems like ages since I’ve seen you and touched you. I hate rambling around this house by myself and sleeping alone. Phone calls aren’t enough, Kirstin. I need you with me, all the time. Damn research for stealing you away”

  You can call or join me any time you like, my love. “I wish you were here. I miss you so much. I want to wake up every morning with you beside me. I want to cuddle up with you on the sofa, share another shower where I can lather and massage you thoroughly.” She heard him groan in rising desire as she refreshed those sensuous moments in his mind and implied more pleasure in the future. “I miss your smile and laughter, and even your nagging. I miss talking to you countless times a day. We had so much fun together. I’d settle for being near you in the same room. Of course, I couldn’t promise to keep my hands and lips off you for very long. I just might throw you on the floor and ravish you on my new carpet. Did I tell you I have skylights over my tub and bed? We can make love under a starry heaven in both locations. I can give you a bath like you’ve never had before. Oh, yes, there’s a skylight in the eating area, too, if we can find anything to feast on. Is seven tomorrow night the soonest you can get here?”

  “Afraid so, Kirstin.”

  “Is that your only response to my erotic inducements? What do I have to do or say to get you as hot and bothered as I am?”

  “I stay that way where you’re concerned. I miss you like crazy, too, woman, but it can’t be helped, can it? Are you taking care of yourself?”

  Caught on to my trick, did you, and you’re foiling me? “Doctor Johnson took me off my medication. I’m doing fine, no lows and very few highs, all in the diabetic safety range.”

  “That’s great news, Kirstin; you’re doing fine on your own.”

  “In the work and health departments, but not in the emotional one. It’s harder being separated from you than I imagined.”

  “I’ve been tempted to fly over there every day.”

  “Why haven’t you?”

  “I knew it wouldn’t do any good, not this soon.”

  “Is that also why you haven’t phoned every night? Want me to pine and suffer so I’ll change my mind and rush to the ranch?”

  “You have a telephone, too, woman, and you’re liberated.”

  “I thought you needed time to think about our problem.”

  “Is there really anything to think about, Kirstin? We’ve made our decisions and they don’t mesh, not yet. We’ll have to do the best we can with visits and phone calls and letters until something changes.”

  You mean, until I change my mind. “I guess so. But if you’re here when I get off work, we’ll have another two hours together. Why not stay over until Monday morning so we can have Sunday night?”

  “There weren’t any plane seats available any time on Monday.”

  “Stay until Tuesday or Wednesday then.”

  “I can’t; I have patients and chores. Kirstin, I was hungry for you the instant you left my driveway. It’s gotten worse every day and night. I should have locked you in the house and refused to release you.”

  “Being your captive and love slave sounds interesting.”

  “But not as much as your career in research, right?”

  “Those are different needs, Christopher. I want both. I need both. It would be the same for you if it were surgery involved.”

  “You’re right, but knowing it doesn’t make losing you any easier.”

  “You haven’t lost me and you won’t; I love you. Neither of us knows what the future holds. We’ll find a compromise.” She abruptly changed the subject. “What do you think of the project I mentioned in my letter? Think it will work to help heart patients during surgery?”

  “The doctor’s ideas sound logical and he’s going about his experiments right. He may want to check out some of Alquist’s past work on beta receptors.”

  Kirstin didn’t reveal she had made that same suggestion during her initial talk with Charles. Both being from Augusta and he a past staff member at Medical College of Georgia, she was familiar with Alquist’s prize-winning and important work. “Thanks, I’ll tell Doctor Summeraul. Do you have a suggestion for a surgeon to test our findings later?”

  “No, but he shouldn’t have trouble locating one there. What do you do when you aren’t working? I bet your evenings aren’t as lonely as mine are.”

  “Will discussion of our careers, such vital parts of us, always be off-limits?” she asked in frustration.

  “Surgery isn’t my career and will never be again, and yours took you from me; both are painful topics, Kirstin.”

  “Doesn’t talking about them ease any of the anguish? Ignoring them won’t make them disappear. I want to share everything with you.”
<
br />   “Maybe later. Maybe soon. Not tonight, okay?”

  “Okay. So, how’s the ranch, all your patients and friends doing? Any more snakes or attack dogs on the loose? Did you get your new bull? Been dipping in that cold pond again?”

  Christopher caught her up on all the local news. After they hung up, he rested his head against the recliner and sank into deep thought. He wondered why he had silenced her when he was really eager to hear about her stimulating work, when he had read her descriptive letter several times and had experienced surges of anticipation and a flood of ideas for the project. He hadn’t even told her how he’d been poring over old medical journals on the subject. He hadn’t revealed the minor surgery he’d done with his right hand, even if it was only on an injured animal; the procedure had worked. He hadn’t mentioned a call to a colleague about a new nerve replacement technique that was still in the research stage, nor that he was doing hand therapy again on his own.

  Afraid none of them will work and your disappointment will increase, Chris? Afraid you can’t get better with practice and with therapy because they both failed in the past? Afraid your news will only encourage her to push harder for you to move there?

  Christopher closed his eyes and calmed himself. Kirstin didn’t treat him as somebody to discard. She made him feel alive, proud, as if he could accomplish anything. He wondered if he was hurting both of them by staying on the ranch. Was he denying others his skills and knowledge, his experience? Could he help more people if he moved? Would research or teaching or private general practice be so terrible in San Diego with Kirstin at his side? Was he denying them a chance at a happy future together?

  Friday around noon, Christopher answered a knock at his office door. His gaze widened and he stared at his daughter. “What are you doing here, squirt? You didn’t tell me you were coming to visit.”