Taking Chances

by Taylor, Janelle

  “I wanted to surprise you. I was worried about you, Dad. I thought you could use some company. We haven’t shared a visit in ages. We need special time together. But do you have other plans? I can catch the next plane home and come another time. I just miss you so much. I just had to see for myself if you’re all right. I love you, Dad.”

  As they embraced, Christopher said, “Your timing’s fine, squirt. Why don’t you go prepare us some lunch while I finish up here? It won’t take long, ten minutes max. We can begin our visit while we eat. I skipped breakfast and I’m starved,” he white-lied to obtain some time alone.

  “That’s a great idea. See you inside. I’m glad to be here, Dad.”

  He hugged her. “I’m glad to see you, squirt. I’ll be there soon.”

  After Peggy left, Christopher canceled his plane reservations and tried to phone Kirstin; the Medico operator said she couldn’t put through the call unless it was an emergency because an experiment, was in progress and the no-disturb signal was in force. He didn’t insist because it was an emergency only to him and Kirstin, and he didn’t want to put her in the position of having to explain the intrusion to her boss. He realized he might not have a private moment later to try her again, so he put a message on Kirstin’s home answering machine. He hated for her to get the bad news in that manner, but it couldn’t be helped. He headed for the house to learn what had really brought his daughter to see him.

  Eighteen

  Kirstin rushed home from work, showered, and dressed for the long-awaited evening. She did a blood sugar test and ate a snack to tide her over to dinner, a meal she hoped was delayed by a visit to the candlelit bedroom. She wished she could meet Christopher at the airport, but he had said it was best if he took a taxi to her apartment because he didn’t want her out in the heavy traffic.

  She paced and looked out the window numerous times. Twice, she checked her makeup and tawny tresses to see if there was any repair needed or room for improvement. Her blue gaze scanned the large walk-in closet to make certain she was wearing the most appealing casual outfit she owned. At seven-thirty, she called the airport to see if his plane had been delayed; it had arrived on schedule, plenty of time for him to be there by now. She asked if he had missed the flight, but the woman said she couldn’t give out information on a passenger, not even when Kirstin claimed he was her fiancé.

  Kirstin fretted in annoyance and apprehension, and started pacing again. She examined the apartment to make sure it was perfect. The flowers Christopher and Steve had sent were gone by now, but rose petals were drying in a basket in the pantry. Delectable smells filled her nostrils. The meat and vegetables she had put in the crock pot this morning to simmer all day were ready, as was the fresh salad stored in the refrigerator. Wine was chilled and rolls were wrapped in foil to be warmed in the oven later. All she needed to begin the romantic evening was her missing lover. Her concern increased.

  At eight, she phoned Christopher’s two numbers; his personal answering machine responded at home and his professional service took the office call. She didn’t leave a private message with either in case he had asked someone to check them during his absence. She didn’t want anybody to discover he was visiting her for the weekend and gossip.

  Kirstin turned on the television to see if there was any news about a traffic problem; nothing. Nor about an accident. She tried to force herself not to think about losing Christopher in the same manner she’d lost David: That would be too cruel to endure.

  Much as she loved and needed her family and career, they weren’t enough to complete her life; only Christopher at her side could do that. Research couldn’t smile, laugh, talk, cuddle, embrace, kiss, touch, love. It couldn’t share joys and sadness, successes and failures, good and bad times, strong and weak moments. It couldn’t give advice, provide a shoulder to lean on, offer a kind ear. It couldn’t have fun with her. It couldn’t provide the peace and security she felt when simply snuggled in his arms on the sofa while watching television. She should re-examine her priorities. She should reassess working and living on the ranch as his wife and assistant.

  Yes, you should, but don’t be hasty or impulsive and don’t do serious thinking while you’re being influenced by worries over his safety.

  Kirstin wondered if she should check with the local police and hospitals to see if—No. That can’t happen to you twice. Oh my God, keep Christopher safe and well.

  She glanced at the answering machine; the red light wasn’t blinking, which she would have noticed earlier. The near-frantic and distracted woman remembered setting the microwave clock because four bright dashes had exposed a power disruption of nine minutes. Too, the television had displayed slashes when she’d turned it on, revealing its memory was erased today. Those recalls of interrupted electricity while she was at work told her there could be a message from Christopher on the tape!

  Kirstin pressed the repeat button and listened:

  “It’s me, love. Peggy came for a surprise visit at noon so I have to cancel our plans. She seems to need this time with me and I guess I need it with her, too. If I get a private minute, I’ll call you. I don’t want her to catch me and think she’s spoiled my weekend. I promise to come next Friday and make it up to you. I’m sorry. I love you and miss you. Bye. Oh, yes, I read about a new blood monitor yesterday. It works by a light beam, right through the flesh, and should be on the market within eighteen to twenty-four months. No more pricks and sore fingers and blood spots everywhere. I’ll check on it and keep you posted. I’ve also been collecting everything I can find relating to your next project with Summeraul on diabetes and vision. It’ll impress him if you’re knowledgeable and prepared in advance. There’s a fascinating article on treatment with laser surgery. I’ll bring everything with me next week. Peg and I are eating supper with John and Maria tonight. Talk to you later.”

  Kirstin pressed the repeat button and frowned as she listened to his message again. He wasn’t coming. It would be a whole week before she saw him. Well, get into a cozy nightgown and eat. You have the weekend alone. Or …

  Kirstin phoned Janet and asked, “Is it too late to join you and Franci tomorrow for shopping and lunch? My visitor just cancelled on me.”

  “Not at all. We’ll pick you up about ten.”

  After their pleasant chat, Kirstin ate dinner and changed clothes. She flopped on the sofa and half-watched a movie that had been shown several times before, but so had everything else on the other channels. She’d read every magazine nearby, and wished she had a new book. She decided to write letters to Sandi and Steve and listen to music. First, she glanced at the answering machine as certain statements registered belatedly in her mind. He had talked about surgery and research. He was studying them! He wanted to discuss them with her! What, she mused, had changed his mind overnight?

  Saturday evening, Kirstin curled up on the sofa to relax and rest after an enjoyable day with her new friends. She. made a few short phone calls. She chatted with Katie before her daughter’s date arrived for dinner and a movie. She learned Steve was still in therapy, and both hoped he would continue. She spoke with Betty for only a brief time, too, because the Augusta friend was leaving to eat out with her husband. She talked with Elaine for five minutes; the divorcee was preparing for a date with her new flame. There was nothing on television, and she’d forgotten to purchase a book or magazine. She yearned to speak with Christopher, but it seemed unwise to intrude on his special time with Peggy.

  Work, family, and friends were enough for me before I met you, Doctor Harrison. Heavens, I miss you and want to be with you. Oh, Christopher, what are we going to do? I’m half happy and half fulfilled both there and here. Which half is more important to me? Love or career? Perhaps Medico will make that decision for me when I…

  Kirstin recorded her findings and removed a glass slide from the microscope. She put away marked petri dishes with samples in them. She checked the in vitro experiment in progress. She stored chemicals in their places. She washed beak
ers and cylinders in special solutions. She tensed in anxiety when her boss returned to the laboratory. “Charles, there’s something I need to tell you, something I should have already told you. While we’re waiting for this step to finish, may I talk to you?”

  After Kirstin related news of her medical condition and her motives for withholding it, Charles smiled and said, “If that’s the only secret you kept from me, Kirstin, nothing’s changed. You have your diabetes under control and you’re smart enough to keep it that way. It won’t interfere with your position with me or Medico. Just make sure you stick to you regimen. A manageable health problem won’t take away the best assistant I’ve had. In fact, you’ll be perfect for the next project.”

  “Diabetes isn’t always a minor problem, Charles.”

  “I know, my son is on insulin shots every day. You could say I’m an expert on the disease. That’s how I know you’ll be fine in the lab.”

  “Thank you, Charles, for being understanding and generous.”

  “Thank you for trusting me enough to confide in me, and for moving across country to work with me. We’ll be a great team.”

  “Christopher, it’s me, Kirstin.”

  “As if I wouldn’t know your voice anywhere or anytime,” he jested.

  “Is Peggy still there? Can you talk?”

  “It must be good news the way you’re jabbering. What’s up, woman? Did you earn a raise and promotion this fast? I wouldn’t be surprised.”

  “Of course not, but thanks for the confidence in me. Are you alone?”

  “Yes, Peggy left last night. She’s a career woman like you.”

  “Why didn’t you call me after she left?” “It was too late when I got back from Lubbock. Their airport is bigger than ours. She caught the last flight. I figured you were asleep.”

  “You could have awakened me.”

  “You need your rest, woman, remember?”

  “I forgot you just retired from being my personal physician and know all of my secrets. I have good news: I told Charles about my diabetes, and it won’t be a problem. His son is diabetic, so he understands. I also saw my gynecologist after work. I started the pill.” “Birth control pills?”

  “Yes. Isn’t that what we agreed I’d do?”

  “Yes, but I didn’t realize you’d handle the matter so promptly. We’ll still need to be careful for a while.”

  “That’s what she said, to use condoms for the next two weeks until I’m sure I’m protected by the pill. I told her I didn’t want to get pregnant at my age. So, what’s wrong? You sound … odd.”

  “You sound so downright independent, getting everything done by yourself. What did you give as a reason for wanting to go on the pill?”

  “I told the doctor I was getting married in a few months and wanted to be ready for my honeymoon. As I recall, you did propose to me.”

  “But you rejected it and left.”

  She was silent for a minute. “Does that mean the proposal is withdrawn?”

  “Never. What did Summeraul say about your condition?”

  She related that news before she asked, “What about your talk with Peggy?”

  “We had a good visit. I’ll give you the particulars this weekend, but there’s nothing to worry your pretty head about.”

  She waited for him to broach other topics of mutual interest or dispute, but he didn’t. “It’s getting late, so I’d better get off the phone, take a bath, and go to bed,” she said regretfully.

  “Too bad I’m not there to give you a soothing scrub and massage.”

  “I wish you were, Christopher, and I’d return the favor.”

  “Let’s put it on our calendars for this weekend.”

  “If nothing and no one comes up to make you cancel again. It seems like forever since I left the ranch.”

  “To me, too. Friday will be here before we know it.”

  “It’s four nights and almost four days until then.”

  “Will it help if I call every night at eight?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wherever I am, I’ll stop to call you on time.”

  “I’ll be here, Christopher, ready and waiting.”

  He chuckled. “That’s one way to make certain you’re not out on a date with somebody else.”

  “If I didn’t know you were teasing, I’d give you a kick in the … rump.”

  “I’ll do more than that to you if you step out on me, woman,” he jested. “Good night, Kirstin. Sleep well. I’ll call tomorrow.”

  “Good night, Christopher, and you’d better phone. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  True to his word, he called on time the next two nights. Then, Thursday at seven, Peggy Harrison Beattie took Kirstin by surprise when she phoned.

  “Before I tell you why I called, Mrs. Lowrey, my father doesn’t know about this conversation and he’d be annoyed if he learned I meddled in his business. What we say must be held in confidence between us. Agreed?”

  Intrigued, Kirstin said, “Agreed, Peggy.” “First, I need to apologize for our last conversation. I was rude and nosy. I hope I didn’t do any damage to your relationship. I love my father very much and I don’t want to see him hurt or used. Second, I want to see if there’s anything I can do or say to either of you to help you and my father get together.”

  “How much did he tell you about us?”

  “I know he proposed and you mostly accepted. I understand there are some obstacles between you two, but I don’t want to be one of them. I want Dad to be happy. I spent this past weekend with him and it was a real eyeopener. He’s very much in love with you, Mrs. Lowrey, and he’s miserable without you. I’m hoping you feel the same way about him. I saw how you’ve changed my father, for the better, I should add.”

  “Thank you, Peggy. It means a lot to hear you say that. I never expected to meet anyone like him; he’s unique and special, the most wonderful and handsome man in the world. Leaving him was one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life, but I felt as if we needed time and distance to make our decisions with clear heads. I know we love each other and I believe we’re perfect for each other. But we do have career and location conflicts. Naturally, both of us thinks it’s best for the other to yield. Change and risks are scary for people our age, especially when we have other loved ones to consider and when we’ve both suffered losses in the past. Frankly, it’s been difficult to get Christopher to even talk about his disability and starting fresh here. I’ve seen him and helped him with patients, Peggy; he has more skill and dexterity than he realizes. And there are ways to work around the things he can’t do. He has to accept the fact that major surgery is out, but minor surgery or research surgery is possible. He just has some limitations. There’s no shame or humiliation in asking for assistance when he needs it. He still has his keen mind, and he can do almost anything he wants if he only tries. It isn’t a defeat to change careers—to teach, to do research, to go into general practice. I don’t want to push or put pressure on him, just love him and help him, be his partner.”

  “I was prepared to dislike you, Mrs. Lowrey, and to do everything I could to get you out of my father’s life. But after listening to him and talking with you, I’m convinced I was wrong and you two should be married. I overheard John and Maria working on him, too. So are Mr. and Mrs. Graham. I think his stubbornness is weakening, either from being apart from you or because he’s afraid hell lose you altogether. Until this weekend, he hasn’t mentioned surgery in years or been tempted to do something else with his life. I never thought I’d see the day when he’d consider selling the ranch, changing occupations again, and remarrying. We talked until our mouths were dry and our jaws ached. He needs you, Mrs. Lowrey.”

  “He actually told you he might sell the ranch and move here?”

  “He said he was considering it, and I think it’s a real possibility; but when, I don’t know. He explained your dilemma to me, and I agree with what you did. I like the ranch for visits, but I can’t imagin
e living there, being a rancher’s wife and losing my career. I’d also love to see him back in the mainstream of medicine. He’s too good to be running such a small practice. He has too much to offer. I tried to convince him you’re right.”

  “That’s very kind, Peggy. I do love him and want to marry him. I honestly believe the best place for us is here. If I let him persuade me to move there, he’d always feel guilty about what I’d have to give up, and he’d probably think I was resentful inside. I doubt it would help either of us for me to become a rancher’s wife. But if he doesn’t change his mind within a few months, a year at the most, I will move there. I love and need my work, but not at the price of losing Christopher.”

  “I doubt you ever will, Mrs. Lowrey. He’s crazy about you. Every time he talks about you, he’s like a kid at Christmas. He lights up like a tree and acts as if he’s gotten the best present of all time. He’s so alive again, so proud, so happy and miserable combined. He’s got it bad for you.”

  “I have it bad for him. So, woman to woman, what should I do?”

  “Exactly what you’re doing now: entice him to come to you. Get him more involved in medicine and the outside world. You seem to have ignited his interest in research, heart research to be specific. He chattered away about it. I think he’d enjoy working at Medico, especially with you.”

  “First, I have to get him here and prove to him he can do it.”

  “If all else fails, make him jealous and afraid he’s going to lose you. Once he’s where he belongs, he’ll be glad you coaxed him out of hiding. I’ve said and done all I can think of to point him in your direction.”

  “Thank you, Peggy. You don’t know how much it means to me to have you on my side, on our side. I promise you, I’ll do my best to make him happy and to never hurt him in any way.”

  “If I didn’t believe that, I wouldn’t have called you.”

  When Christopher phoned, Kirstin didn’t reveal—as promised— that she had just gotten off the line from Oregon with his daughter. She hoped and prayed Peggy was right about her father leaning toward moving to San Diego.