Avoiding Temptation

by K. A. Linde

  “You don’t play fair, Lexi. So, why should I?”

  “John,” she whispered.

  “What has Ramsey ever done to make you want to take him back? Did he fight for you? Did he charm you? Did he make you forget all the reasons you had broken up with him in the first place?” John asked. “Because I’m not going to give you those reasons.”

  God, something in all of this felt so…familiar. Maybe it wasn’t the words or the reasons for being here. It was just something in the tone, in his earnestness, in the way the night had progressed. Lexi couldn’t put her finger on it.

  She stared at him, trying to decide what it was. He was looking back at her, begging for that chance that she so readily would give away under other circumstances. And yet, she wasn’t giving it to him. She couldn’t. How could she go back on Ramsey after only a week? She couldn’t even consider it.

  Ramsey was the right choice. He was the one who she was supposed to be with.

  But John didn’t remind her of Ramsey. They were very different people.

  Lexi knew then why it all felt so familiar—the tilt of his head, the hidden smile, the gleam in his eyes…everything.

  It was Jack.

  And John didn’t even have blue eyes!

  Lexi sighed heavily. She was over it. She was so over it. She never wanted to be susceptible to this charm again. The reason it had worked with Jack was because they’d had six or seven years of this…whatever. She didn’t even want to finish the thought. Of whatever they’d had. Past tense. They didn’t have it anymore. It was over. He had married the Bitch. Capital B, Bitch. And there was nothing she could do about it—at least not with Jack.

  But she could be smarter and stronger with John.

  Lexi pulled her hands out of his, tossed her napkin down, and stood. “I need to leave.”

  John reached out, grabbing her elbow and keeping her from moving. “Where are you going?”

  “I just…you don’t understand what I’ve been through. And you don’t understand what all of this is doing to me.”

  “I’d like to know what it’s doing to you,” John said, his eyes traveling up and down her clingy black dress.

  “See, that’s exactly it,” she said, taking a seat when people started staring at her. “There’s someone I know who’s a lot like you—who you’ll probably get to meet him now that you’re working on the Bridges medical wing. And…you don’t even compare to him.”

  John’s eyes narrowed. The anger flared up easily at the comment. She knew it would. It was harsh.

  She pushed forward anyway. “He can look me in the eyes, and I’m putty in his hands. Just one look—that’s all he needs. He doesn’t even need your words,” she said, wanting him to understand. “And I never want to be like that again. It’s destructive, and it’s…wrong for the other people in my life. So, I think I should go. If you think that I’m going to fall at your feet with a few charming words and a smile, you’re sadly mistaken. You’ve got the wrong girl. Because…I’m not that girl anymore.”

  John cracked a smile, his arrogance returning. “There’s no comparison. Whatever happened in your past is simply that…your past. If you keep living in it, you’ll always compare—always. But I don’t want the girl who falls at my feet with a smile. There are plenty of those around. I like you—the one who puts up a fight.”

  “So, is that it? You just like me for the chase then?” she snarled.

  John chuckled. “Baby, I’ve already fucked you. I won that chase.”

  Lexi shook her head. He would get it eventually, but not today. “Sleeping with me was only part of the chase,” she said calmly. “To be honest, I’ve given it up for less. The chase is getting me to commit. While you don’t know my past, the first thing you should know is that I avoid commitment at all costs.”

  John didn’t have a charming retort to that.

  “Thank you for dinner. I’m sorry I can’t stay,” she said, standing again. “I’m sure I’ll see you again in Atlanta. I hope we can still be civil…under the circumstances.”

  With that, she turned and walked right out of the expensive restaurant. She hadn’t even made it past the first course, but she knew that she had made the right choice.

  Lexi walked out of the restaurant and pulled her phone out of her purse while she hailed a cab back to her apartment. It rang three times as she tried to get a hold of Chyna. As it had happened every day during the past week, it went straight to voice mail. This time, Lexi knew she needed to leave a message because Chyna needed to hear her what she had to say. And she couldn’t just go over there tonight to tell her.

  The voice mail beeped.

  “Chyna, it’s Lexi. I guess you probably already knew that. I just wanted to call to tell you that you were right. It was a date, and I didn’t want to see it. I guess I don’t normally want to see things that you point out. So…sorry,” Lexi said with a sigh. “I left. I just walked out. You mean more to me than any guy could ever mean to me. I hope you call me back, and we can work this out. Anything that has happened isn’t worth losing you. You’re the one thing that I can’t replace. It seems like there are always guys around but never friends—not like you. I’ll never find another friend like you, Chyna. So, I know this is kind of a long voice mail. I just wanted to tell you that you were right and that I’m sorry. I just hope we can move past this. So, call me back, chica. I love you. Bye.”

  “You’re sure you’re ready?” Ramsey asked for what felt like the hundredth time.

  “Yes,” Lexi said. She smoothed out her burgundy sundress and then looked up into his green eyes. “I’m ready.”

  “Then, we should probably get going.”

  “All right.”

  Lexi grabbed a cardigan and then followed Ramsey out of their apartment and into his Mercedes. They were having brunch with his family at the country club to break the news to them about their engagement. Lexi had called her parents the day after speaking with Jack about his divorce. She couldn’t hold out any longer, and she didn’t want Ramsey to think that she was purposely holding off. She wasn’t.

  She thought it might have been nice to invite them to the country club to find out at the same time as Ramsey’s parents, but then Lexi was afraid it might seem strange. Her family came from a completely different world. She doubted her parents would be any more comfortable with the lifestyle than Lexi was.

  She still hadn’t spoken with Chyna though. Her reaction would cement this all into reality. Even though she was wearing the big, sparkly diamond ring on her left ring finger, it still felt like someone else’s fantasy.

  Her eyes wandered to the ring, and she sighed softly. Jack didn’t know about the ring either. There was no way she could have told him after pulling the ring off her finger when she had seen him. She still felt a little sick about the fact that she hadn’t had the guts to wear it around him.

  But then, he had gone and pulled out fucking divorce papers. What was she supposed to do with that? Nothing. She wasn’t supposed to do anything with that. She would find him a good divorce attorney and let him get himself out of his own mess. She didn’t want to be involved with any of that—not if she wanted to keep her sanity.

  Telling Ramsey about the divorce had been even more awkward than when Jack had told her about it. Ramsey’s family was actually inherently against divorce. His parents had stayed together through really hard times, and even when they wouldn’t even sleep in the same bed, they had worked it out. Ramsey had been shocked, and considering his family, it was pretty shocking.

  But…it was also Bekah. She did whatever the fuck she wanted. The only thing she cared about was herself. Since she was the one claiming Jack had cheated on her, she would play the victim until the very end.

  What Jack’s attorney would need to do was make her look the opposite and show Bekah for who she really was. Jack would never come out ahead if Bekah made everyone feel sorry for her.

  If Lexi were on the case…

  No, she wouldn’t go th
ere. She wasn’t going to analyze the situation. She did not want to be involved.

  Right before Ramsey had been about to leave to call his sister, he had stopped and asked, “What did Jack say about the engagement?”

  His face had been strained, and she had felt bad that he still sometimes got that look in his eye.

  “It, uh…didn’t come up,” Lexi had told him with a shrug. “We started talking about the divorce, and that took up the whole conversation.”

  Ramsey had nodded. “You’re going to tell him, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  There was no way she wanted Jack to hear it from anyone else. But she hadn’t wanted him to be the first to know either.

  Now, she and Ramsey were on their way to let everyone know. After today, she would have to tell Jack before it got back to him. She would have to tell Chyna, too. She wanted to marry Ramsey. She did. So, she just needed to get past her fears—starting today.

  Ramsey reached out and laced their fingers together as he raced up the interstate. “I’m excited.”

  Lexi looked out the passenger window at the cars whizzing by. “Me, too.”

  Truth be told, she was nervous as hell. Ramsey’s parents weren’t exactly against her, but they certainly hadn’t welcomed her with open arms. She was sure that part of it had to do with Bekah and walking out on her wedding. There wasn’t much Lexi could do on that front, and she just hoped that they would be supportive of Ramsey. They didn’t have to treat her like a daughter, but she wanted them to treat Ramsey with the respect he deserved. He had founded the medical wing for them—even if he had done it on his terms.

  Ramsey lightly stroked his thumb across her hand. “You know I love you, right?”

  Lexi jerked her head toward him.

  He was smiling, and his eyes kept darting over to her.

  “Of course I do,” she said.

  “You know I’d do anything for you.”

  “You’ve already done everything.”

  “And I’ll keep doing that and more, Lexi.” He brought her hand to his lips and softly kissed it. “My Alexa.”

  Lexi tried not to fret anymore about it. Ramsey was trying to ease her nerves the best way he knew how, and it would be better if she just let his soothing words sink in. His parents didn’t have a choice in the matter. She was marrying their son, and that was that.

  They drove through the gated entrance to the country club and down the long drive to the clubhouse. He parked his Mercedes in between two BMWs, and Lexi tried not to feel insignificant amidst the excessive wealth. This was how Ramsey had been raised, but it wasn’t Ramsey. This wasn’t her life, even if it would technically be her money.

  She shivered at the thought. It was strange to think that once they got married, half of everything would be hers. She didn’t want to know how many zeroes that would add to her net worth. Seriously, she needed to stop overanalyzing. This was stupid. Ramsey wasn’t his money, and he wasn’t zeroes in a bank account. He was just Ramsey, the man she had fallen in love with three years ago. She was acting like an idiot.

  Lexi waited for Ramsey to walk around the side of the car, and then after she got out of the car, she latched onto his elbow. It was only October, and she was already cold. She wished she could have worn jeans or something. That would have been better, but at least, she had her cardigan. She stuffed her hands down into the pockets of her cardigan and briskly walked across the parking lot.

  She traversed the familiar foyer plush with seasonal floral arrangements, down a long hallway, past the restrooms where she had she and Ramsey had first officially met, and across the main banquet space to the private Bridges’ dining room. Lexi’s eyes landed on the gold plate with the Bridges name on it. Would she change her name? Share a name with the Bitch?

  The thought had never crossed her mind. Mrs. Lexi Bridges. She frowned. Maybe she would hyphenate. She knew people who had done that. Mrs. Lexi Walsh-Bridges. She crinkled her nose at the thought. Professionally, her attorney license was still under her last name, Walsh. She wasn’t sure if she would want to fight to get it all changed.

  “You ready?” Ramsey asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

  “Uh…sure,” she whispered. Why was she having these stupid thoughts right now? She seriously needed to get herself under control.

  Ramsey pushed open the door to the private dining room, and Lexi took a deep breath.

  The room was mostly full when they arrived. Ramsey’s father sat at the head of the table, wearing a navy suit coat over khakis and a striped button-up. He was broad-shouldered and formidable. His mother sat to his left in a dark pink square-cut dress. She was petite with angular features and already holding a bloody mary in her hand.

  Lexi recognized a slew of other people at the table, but she didn’t remember any of their names. She was sure she had met all of them before, but they were business associates and friends of the Bridges.

  Sitting at the opposite end of the table in a navy dress that could have rivaled her mother for modesty sat Bekah. Her blonde hair had been curled softly, and her normally chunky bangs were swept back off her face. Her baby-blue eyes portrayed the innocence that Lexi knew she had not a single ounce of, and a haughty, superior smile played on her lips. Lexi wouldn’t give Bekah the satisfaction of seeing how much her presence still irritated her.

  Her eyes drifted to the other side of the table, and her own smile rose. Jack wasn’t seated across from Bekah in his proper place. Lexi’s eyes met Bekah’s, and Lexi tilted her chin up as she moved to take her seat. Bekah’s eyes narrowed at the gesture, and it was deeply satisfying to see that smile wiped off of her face, if for only a very short second.

  Lexi took her seat across from Ramsey, Jack’s absence leaving a gaping hole next to her. Surely, others would notice that he wasn’t there. By the look on Bekah’s face, Lexi highly doubted she had told her parents about the divorce yet. She wondered what they would think about it. Bekah clearly wouldn’t have done it if she had thought that it would damage the relationship with her money…erm, parents. Her reputation and the family name were the only things Lexi really thought Bekah ever cared about. Lexi would like to see how Bekah was going to get herself out of this one.

  “Lexi, so good to see you,” Bekah said.

  Her sugary-sweet voice made Lexi want to gag.

  “Hi, Bekah,” Lexi said curtly. She wasn’t exactly being rude, but she couldn’t even pretend to be happy to see Bekah.

  “Good to see you back in the club, Ramsey,” Bekah said, already turning her attention to her brother, which was fine by Lexi.

  “And it’s like I never left,” he said with a tight smile.

  Lexi would have laughed if she hadn’t been keeping such a tight rein on herself.

  Bekah gritted her teeth at the underhanded statement, which made coming all worthwhile.

  Just then, the wait staff appeared and began taking orders. Lexi requested a small breakfast, orange juice, and a coffee, and then she handed off her menu. Her stomach was already in knots from anticipation, and she didn’t want to fill it with anything else to throw her off-kilter. She didn’t know when Ramsey wanted to tell them about the engagement, and she was going to let him decide.

  Lexi twisted the ring on her finger under the table and sat there awkwardly as silence settled on their end of the table. She didn’t have anything to say to Bekah, and none of the Bridges’ colleagues seemed to have any interest in engaging her.

  Her coffee showed up, and Lexi sighed happily. At least she knew she would be able to make it through the afternoon now. She took her first sip when the door to the dining room opened.

  Lexi’s eyes rose to the door. They didn’t normally start brunch if they were still expecting someone. That was part of the privilege of having their own room—besides the privacy that came with it, of course. They made all the rules.

  Lexi swallowed hard when she saw who walked in—Parker. She had on a long black maxi dress and a light jean jacket. She smiled apo
logetically and closed the door behind her.

  “Sorry, I’m late,” Parker said, taking the last open seat next to Ramsey.

  “Get caught at the hospital?” Ramsey asked.

  Lexi felt a familiar pang stretch through her chest as he addressed Parker. It was always there—no matter how much she pushed it aside, no matter how many times she tried to forget that night this summer.

  Frankly, it didn’t matter, did it? She had a glittering diamond ring on her finger, and Parker didn’t. But it still made Lexi sick.

  “Do I ever leave?” Parker asked.

  Lexi heard the exhaustion in her voice.

  “If you didn’t insist on spending as much time in surgery as doing administrative work, you might leave more,” he said.

  It would have been a reprimand, but the way he had said it sounded more like an endearment. It was a habit Ramsey had never been able to kick.

  “I’d leave more if someone hadn’t seen me sleeping on the floor and insisted that I get this couch that I swear is more comfortable than my bed at home. I have no incentive to leave,” Parker said with a shrug.

  Lexi cleared her throat, and Parker’s face paled as if she had just realized what she had been talking about.

  “I think that sounds wonderful,” Bekah butted in. “Always nice to have somewhere to…relax when you’re stuck at the office for a long time.”

  “How many extra hours are you spending in the office right now?” Lexi asked, trying to match Bekah’s sugary-sweet tone as she stared at Bekah innocently.

  Bekah just shrugged, unperturbed. “Not too much recently. I’ve had some things to take care of with my husband,” she said, dropping the word easily.

  Even though the woman was fucking divorcing him, she still used that word. It didn’t matter one bit that things had changed over the past two years. The rational part of Lexi knew that she shouldn’t care, but the irrational side really fucking hated that Bekah had won. Even more, Lexi hated that after taking her victory, Bekah was tossing it aside like week-old spoiled milk. Lexi didn’t even have words for the new level Bekah had reached.