Did You Read That Review?: A Compilation of Amazon's Funniest Reviews
Page 13
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2,412 of 2,472 people found the following review helpful
I have two words for you: ‘predator drones.’ You will never see it coming
By Maurice Cobbs “Better Living through Evil Science”, January 11, 2013
You’ve had a busy play day—You’ve wiretapped Mom’s cell phone and e-mail without a warrant, you’ve indefinitely detained your little brother Timmy in the linen closet without trial, and you’ve confiscated all the Super Soakers from the neighborhood children. (After all, why does any kid—besides you, of course—even NEED a Super Soaker for self-defense? A regular water pistol should be enough.) What do you do for an encore? That’s where the US Air Force Medium-Altitude, Long-Endurance, Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) RQ-1 Predator from Maisto comes in. Let’s say that Dad has been labeled a terrorist in secret through your disposition matrix. Rather than just arrest him and go through the hassle of trying and convicting him in a court of law and having to fool with all those terrorist-loving constitutional protections, you can just use one of these flying death robots to assassinate him! Remember, due process and oversight are for sissies. Plus, you get the added bonus of taking out potential terrorists before they’ve even done anything—estimates have determined that you can kill up to 49 potential future terrorists of any age for every confirmed terrorist you kill, and with the innovative “double-tap” option, you can even kill a few terrorist first responders, preventing them from committing terrorist acts like helping the wounded and rescuing survivors trapped in the rubble. Don’t let Dad get away with anti-American activities! Show him who’s boss, whether he’s at a wedding or a funeral or just having his morning coffee. Sow fear and carnage in your wake! Win a Nobel Peace Prize and be declared Time Magazine’s Person of the Year—twice! This goes well with the Maisto Extraordinary Rendition play set, by the way, which gives you all the tools you need to kidnap the family pet and take him for interrogation at a neighbor’s house, where the rules of the Geneva Convention may not apply. Loads of fun!
Adventure Wheels version.
45 of 49 people found the following review helpful
Thanks making this for the young ones!
By yoster, January 18, 2013
I must say I was especially excited that this toy is marketed to the 3+ demographic! The 3+ marketing made me feel comfortable busting this out with my 3-year-old. It’s never too soon to introduce our young ones to the innovative new ways our country has figured out to kill poor people of color.
2,809 of 2,931 people found the following review helpful
Helped me teach my son about the Imperial forces
By Rambone, December 17, 2012
My son is very interested in joining the Imperial forces when he grows up. He says he’s not sure if he wants to help police the homeland or if he wants to invade foreign countries. So I thought a new Predator Drone toy would be a nice gift for him. These drones are used both domestically and internationally, to spy on people and assassinate them at the Emperor’s discretion. He just loves flying his drone around our house, dropping Hellfire missiles on Scruffy, our dog. He kept saying that Scruffy was a terror suspect and needed to be taken out. I asked him if Scruffy should get a trial first, and he quoted Lindsey Graham, Imperial Senator: “Shut up, Scruffy. You don’t get a trial!” I was so proud. I think I’ll buy him some video games that promote martial law for Christmas.
320 of 341 people found the following review helpful
Only one flaw!
By Trilobyte, December 18, 2012
This is an awesome toy to instill a sense of exploration in your child. Geography of foreign lands will come naturally as you and your child act out imaginary strikes on Pakistan, Afghanistan, Yemen, Syria, Libya, and many more! Combined with the optional targets—the wedding, the funeral, and the dusty road with an American citizen and his son—you can act out these scenarios very realistically! Teaching the moral superiority and callous disregard for other people and nations has never been easier.
53 of 57 people found the following review helpful
Keep an eye on the neighborhood
By Nicklous W. Steele, January 6, 2013
This drone has helped to teach my son how important it is to keep and eye on those neighbors with the Ron Paul stickers on their cars. It’s not just goat herders on the other side of the globe we need to keep Big Brother’s boot on. Also get the FBI’s warrantless, magnetic, under-car tracking device and the waterboarding kit. I dare my wife to spout off about the 4th amendment one more damn time.
100 of 107 people found the following review helpful
Obama Drone! Obama Drone!
By Bryant, January 8, 2013
Everybody in the hood will soon have their own drone! And Obama’s giving ’em away for FREE! From the “Constitutional Scholar” responsible for such classic hits as “Section 1021(b) of the 2012 NDAA,” “HR347,” and “Do You Know The Way To Guantanamo Bay,” comes this exciting new destructor of “associated forces”! A MUST-have for the budding little fascist in your home! Civil Liberties Not Included. Must be purchased separately with our “Citizens United” box set. Side effects may include: loss of habeas corpus; indefinite detention without evidence, legal counsel, or judicial review; suspension of the 1st, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 8th amendments; FEMA camp relocation and re-education; and in most cases, explosive death involving innocent civilians.
8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
Little Johnny is finally adapting to his surroundings
By Angela Greco, February 28, 2013
I was beside myself when my son gave all his lunch money away to other kids who didn’t have lunch. He was constantly expressing inappropriate feelings by hugging and holding hands with his classmates.
Well, no more! I am happy to report that he is now grown into his role as an assertive, competitive, acquisitive, normal human being.
Thank you. This is much more than a “toy.” It’s an educational tool.
Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats
Check out the real thing: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00BPMMQDG
3.6 out of 5 stars
Name: Accoutrements Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats
ASIN: B00BPMMQDG
Price: $5.91
Your cat makes a show of being regal and in control, but you could turn all that around with this Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats. It’s a vinyl, 5½-inch-long (14 cm) unicorn horn with a four-point elastic strap system that holds it comfortably on a kitty’s noggin. Why have just a regular cat when you could have a unicat?
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful
Cat jousting at its finest
By P. Cox, August 16, 2013
Based on several reviews, I bought this item in the hopes that I too could have a unicorn cat and all the wonderful joy it’s apparently brought to others. Being someone who likes the dichotomy of ebony and ivory, yin and yang, light and dark, Jedi and Sith, I also bought Inflatable Evil Unicorn Horn so that our two cats could have that same type of dichotomy. Well, imagine my surprise when my wife and I attached these to the heads of our cats. Nothing at all happened like the other reviewers have stated has happened to them. I was severely disappointed. However, as I was getting ready to pack these up and ship them back to Amazon for either a replacement or return, I heard an awful racket in the next room. When I went to investigate, imagine my surprise when I found our two cats…JOUSTING! Being a fan of things medieval, I stood there delighting in the spectacle! I have decided to keep these for our cats and just wanted to let people know what might happen if you mix the two types of unicorn horns. I gave this item five stars, because of the sheer fun I’ve had watching these two joust for kingdom supremacy. The toy’s educational value I rated 5 stars, because this made us go and learn even more about jousting and heralds, which has expanded our knowledge. The toy’s durability I rated 3 stars, but only because the
y’re inflatable and could potentially pop, which is why my overall rating is only three stars. Bottom line: If you love jousting, and you love cats, then you will LOVE cat jousting!
28 of 28 people found the following review helpful
Must-have for cat owners
By matt reinhart, August 14, 2013
Whenever you need to knock your cat down a peg or two, nothing works better than strapping this inflatable horn to its head. It is pretty much cat shame in a box.
59 of 61 people found the following review helpful
All right, for now
By E R, October 10, 2012
While not my favorite mythological creature, a unicorn is certainly an improvement over my boring old cat. This product will do, at least until I find a way to finally turn her into a mermaid.
Meet Lucy, the unicat!
12 of 15 people found the following review helpful
My cat became a monster
By Jose Pablo Monge Chacon, January 8, 2013
We bought this thinking it was a fun thing to do…how mistaken we were. The minute our cat started wearing the horn, he started flying around the living room, trying to poke everyone in the eyes, all this while singing “Friday” by Rebecca Black, the worst part it was Wednesday. We tried to take it off, he won’t let us, we’ll just have to grow used to having a unicorn cat around the house.
1,402 of 1,443 people found the following review helpful
Turned my cat into a jerk
By Michael E, September 23, 2012
I thought it would be fun if my cat looked like a magical unicorn of medieval lore. Not so fun is that he has taken this unicorn mythology a bit too seriously around my girlfriend. Lately, whenever she approaches or tries to pet him, he darts off wildly in a rage. “Only a maiden pure may tame the unicorn!” he says. Jackass.
26 of 27 people found the following review helpful
Changed My Life
By J. Lowe “JL”, August 3, 2013
At first, I didn’t believe all the hype in the reviews, but for $5, it was worth a try. One of my cats believes that he has magical powers anyhow, so why not? Amazon Prime made it even easier and the UPS driver was delivering it within 30 minutes of ordering. After the package was delivered, I noticed the neighborhood cats were peering into my condo from nearby trees. Strange, they never did that before. I decided to try it out on my younger cat since the orange tabby gave me the stink eye when I mentioned it to him. Within 15 minutes of placing the horn on the gray tabby, his personality changed. That’s ok, he never really had a personality to begin with since he was dropped on his head as a kitten. Now, instead of staring at me with eyes of emptiness, his gaze was almost hypnotic. I found myself getting up in the middle of the night to feed him kitty snacks. For some reason, I am stocking up on sardines when grocery shopping. I’ve tried to remove the horn, but whenever I try—it shocks me. For now, I will give this 4 stars. Check back, I will follow up with an update. Meow.
Cats love it!
Tang
Not just for kitties!
Magical Unicorn Mask
Check out the real thing: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0070QMUFA
4.5 out of 5 stars
Name: Accoutrements Magical Unicorn Mask
ASIN: B00E5OL2CM
Price: $31.77
Feeling a little squirrely today? A bit piggish perhaps? Maybe even magical? These realistic-looking latex masks fit most adult heads, and should definitely freak out the neighbors.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
221 of 233 people found the following review helpful
Magical, yes…durable, no
By Gloryland, July 29, 2012
As others have said, this IS a magical mask. There’s simply no disputing that. The other day, when I picked up my daughter from school wearing the mask, the looks on the faces of her classmates left no doubt that they had been touched by its magic. It’s not every day you see a unicorn at a community college, after all. The issue for me, however, is durability. I’ve taken to wearing the mask along with a black PVC suit and crimson cape and calling myself “Unicorn Man.” Imagine my disappointment when, the first time I attempted to spear an evildoer with my horn, it crumpled rather flaccidly. Since then I’ve reinforced the horn mechanically, but really, you shouldn’t have to apply after-market solutions or take over-the-counter medications to firm up a supposedly magical horn.
464 of 520 people found the following review helpful
It watches
By Rose 2d of Aberlone, July 29, 2012
I came home one day to find this unicorn mask on the chair opposite my bed. I don’t know how it got there, but I know what it wants. Me. One day the unicorn mask will impale me on its horn, and I will die. Until then, it watches me sleep at night. Watching. Waiting. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night because I’ve seen a flash of light hit its eye, and I think it’s time. Time for the unicorn mask. “Not yet, not yet,” the mask will whinny, and I will fall back to sleep, to dream and wonder.
82 of 90 people found the following review helpful
Almost a winner
By JB, May 10, 2012
This Magical Unicorn Mask is *almost* a winner. As stated in the product details, this Unicorn Mask is “vaguely disturbing.” However, I prefer my Unicorn Masks to be clearly disturbing. So, unfortunately, this particular Magical Unicorn Mask doesn’t quite measure up. However, it is quite fun, and sometimes vaguely disturbing is all you need. 4 stars!
30 of 35 people found the following review helpful
I wish I had bought this mask instead!
By Larissa Pearson “SecretAgentWoman”, July 29, 2012
I fell for the old ruse that “more is better” and bought the Magical Bicorn Mask instead. Everyone kept calling me goat! Don’t make my mistake; buy UNI!
This is of the related “Magical Unicorn Mask,” which, unfortunately, doesn’t allow customer images.
69 of 84 people found the following review helpful
Perfect costume for church play
By SMA, February 21, 2012
It was just going to be another boring reenactment of the Book of Genesis’ “Noah and the Ark.” Until now. Casting takes a new direction as Mackenzie (9) and Jake (8) trade in their crepe-paper lions’ manes for these beauties. We’re reworking the script to focus on the plight of two worried and flustered unicorns trying to make it to the boat on time! (Spoiler: They don’t.)
Elegante Fixed-Frame Screen
Check out the real thing: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000W6IE0A
4.6 out of 5 stars
Name: Elegante Fixed-Frame Screen (Old Version)
ASIN: B000W6IE0A
Price: $9,525,930,932,505,110.00
Vutec ELF6080MW Elegante Fixed-Frame Projection Screens (100”; 60” H × 80” W; 4:3 format; matte white)
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
40 of 41 people found the following review helpful
Wonderful product at a great price
By Jacob Banerjee “This is a signature”, April 7, 2013
This was a wonderful product at the low price of just over 1 quadrillion dollars. After selling my mansion, butlers, the US government, the Chinese Government, my other mansion, the United States of America, and after I found a penny on the ground, I was able to buy this.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Best Screen EVER!!!!
By Polly Sanchez, April 17, 2013
I say this is by far the coolest screen I have ever seen, but that is all I can say. After selling all of my other things, except for my computer that I am writing this review on now, my Internet connection, and my house, and of course my Elegante Frame Screen (they will be sold as soon as I finish writing this except the screen), I will be living on the streets and can’t wait to show it off to all of my future homeless friends, especially that one guy on the corner named Pockets that used to chase my car all the time when I still had one; he will be so
jealous. I can’t wait to stare at him while I eat my warm porridge off of my Elegante Fixed-Frame Screen, using it as a dinner mat; he shall glare back at me wishing he too had a house to sell to receive an Elegante Fixed-Frame Screen. This screen also makes a great bed; it sure has changed my entire outlook on life just by buying this screen. More people should follow this path less traveled, truly a life-changing experience; I recommend it to all…except Pockets.
6 of 10 people found the following review helpful
Nice, but…
By Joe Texas, July 6, 2013
This is a great screen, don’t get me wrong, but I’m pretty sure Walmart has the same one on sale for $114.
This screen is a way of life.
By hi11279 Buttsie, November 26, 2013
I was just surfing the web the other day on my new supercomputer that I bought from the US government, when this screen frame caught my eye. It was a work of art and I felt that it was my doody to buy this screen so that I could watch funny cat videos in a more elegant setting than just in my 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450-story gaming room (if you must know, I had it built on Pi day). So anyway, I immediately decided that I needed this Elegante frame screen, and sold my family (dog included) to some labor factory so that I could get more money to buy this frame. I eventually had about 9.5 quadrillion dollars, so I went on Amazon and bought the frame, and I have to say, it can do more than just be a screen. First of all, you can use it as a giant frisbee, for when you’re hanging out with your friends. Secondly, it is a superb slip ’n slide, so when I buy my kids back, they can have all the fun they want with it. Third, it’s made of black velvet, so you can use it as a blanket on camping trips or just when you’re really cold (WAY better than a snuggie). And finally, you COULD, this is completely optional…use it as a projector screen, like it’s meant to be. But who uses crap for its intended purpose anyway? I have a bunch of broccoli in my yard to pretend that I have a lot of tiny little trees outside my window.