Underwood, Scotch, and Cry

by Brian Meeks

  Another person, a large man, stood up in the back. "John Goodwell, The Daily Comic and Fantasy blog. Will either of you be attending Comic-Con next year?"

  James jumped on this. "As I mentioned, I'm writing a timeless piece that will be studied and loved for decades to come. I've set my sights a bit higher than a comic book."

  Kat leaned over and whispered into Arthur's ear before he said, "I've just been told that yes, I'll be attending. I look forward to meeting this community, and though I'm a total outsider, I hope I'll have done a good enough job with The Magellan Apocalypse that my first trip will be just that, the first of many."

  A few people clapped and cheered from the back.

  Arthur was about to continue, but James cut him off. "I will be announcing all the details of my novel at a party I'm throwing next month, and you're all invited."

  Kat leaned in to Arthur's microphone. "I've just sent a press kit with a synopsis of The Magellan Apocalypse, details about the launch, and a bit about the whole series to all of your emails. Now, feel free to hang out, and if anyone wants a one-on-one interview with Arthur, just let me know, and I'll make sure you're put on his schedule.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  "I'm stuck at the airport, but it says my flight is only delayed by an hour," Winifred said, looking up at the board. "I'll be home before you know it."

  "We're so excited to see you. It's all your father's talked about all week."

  "I have a surprise to show you," she said, patting her bag. "Oh no, I forgot to pack it."

  "It's okay, honey."

  "It's just that I've been working really hard on something, and last night I finished it. I've written a novel, and I think it's pretty good. And I met someone."

  "A novel and a boy?"

  "I can't wait. What's the title, and what's his name?"

  "Okay, but you can't tell Dad, and you have to promise to look surprised when I get there and tell the story."

  "Didn't I do a good job of acting surprised when you told your father about getting accepted into college?"

  "You did! Okay, here it is. His name is Barry, and he's a writer, too. He writes screenplays and helped me get organized. I had printed out my book, which is either going to be called Beautiful Gears or Wonderful Gears—I still don't know yet—but that's okay, I have it on my tablet. If you don't mind reading on the screen you can still check it out."

  "I can't wait. You've been wanting to write for so long. How long have you been seeing this boy?"

  "Well, we met a month ago. It was at a press conference, and after it was over—we had talked beforehand—he asked me if I would like to have coffee with him sometime. The next day, on my lunch break, we got together. I've been sort of busy with work. My boss has been losing his mind over this book he's writing, so it's been really long days. The thing is there isn't much for me to do, so I've just been hanging out and writing while my boss freaks out with his writing partners."

  "Does this boy make his living as a screenwriter? He's not a starving artist, is he?"

  "Actually, he's got a lot of money. Now he's following his passion."

  "When will we get to meet him?"

  "I don't know. We've only been on a couple of real dates, but I think he likes me as much as I like him. He sends me cute texts during the day."

  "You sound so happy."

  "I am."

  "Isn't there any way you could stay a little longer than Sunday?"

  "I can't. James has this big book announcement party on Monday night, and I have to be there. He tried to get me to cancel my trip, but I told him no."

  "Good for you!"

  "Oh, I've got to go. It's less than an hour before the flight gets in, and you know how I like to make sure I'm at the gate early."

  "You've always been punctual. We'll see you in a little bit. I've made your favorite."

  "Yay, I love your pizza."

  It was the first day in a month Arthur had been able to sleep in, but he failed. Kat was up early. He watched her get dressed. She gave him a kiss and said she'd be back later. Tomorrow was launch day, and she was like a conductor of the New York Philharmonic, making sure every marketing instrument was in perfect tune and ready to go.

  She had her assistant creating ads for Facebook, Pinterest, and others he couldn't remember. The day after the press conference, she'd put out a notice on Arthur's author website, which she had somehow redesigned when he wasn't looking, and asked for people interested in ARCs (Advanced Reader Copies). Arthur thought her strategy was brilliant. She explained that they would send an ARC free of charge if the readers promised to, on day one of the launch, buy a copy and leave an honest review. The response was overwhelming.

  There had been a rather painful afternoon the week before when Arthur had been forced to learn how to use Buffer. She had made him write all sorts of tweets and posts that would be sent out during the launch. Kat wouldn't order the Chinese food until he had finished. Fussing hadn't worked to get her to cave, so he got it done and then complained about the horrible suffering she had made him endure, all the way until they cracked the fortune cookies. She even liked his complaining, which made her irresistible and doubly powerful to make him do what needed to be done.

  Through all of the launch craziness, he had managed to complete the second book in the series, Asin's Hope, and was halfway through book three. The cover art was already finished for books two and three. Somehow Arthur had found himself in a relationship with a publishing maniac who wasn't going to let him mess things up. Still, he had his doubts about whether or not they really could ever sell enough copies to have a chance.

  His phone buzzed. He looked at the screen and saw the lovely face of Wen Hu smiling back at him. "Wen Hu, how is it going?"

  "Hey, Arthur, I'm doing great. How about you? Tomorrow's your launch day, right?"

  "It's crazy around here."

  "Did I call at a bad time?"

  "No, not at all. I'm just trying to get up the mental energy to get out of bed and get to it. How's the new job?"

  "It's pretty good, but I do miss you. I hear you’re dating someone," she said, and Arthur noticed how kind her voice sounded.

  "Yes, I've gone age appropriate this time. She's bright and funny. You'd like her. What about you?"

  "His name is Chu. He's a lawyer, sort of funny, though not as much as you, but he is good to me. And my parents know his uncle, and they approve of his family, so it's been going well."

  "I saw Kyle last month. He's doing well, moving to California."

  "I know. We are always texting back and forth. I just called because I wanted you to know I'm really proud of you, and I bought your book the day it went up for pre-order. I can't wait to give it a read."

  "I appreciate it, though I would have gladly given you a copy."

  "I wanted to buy one to help you beat James."

  "You put me on this path, you and your stubborn ways. I owe a lot to you, Wen."

  "Thanks," she said, and then there was a moment of silence. "I've got to go. Good luck with the book."

  "Let me know the next time you're on this side of the Atlantic, will you? I'd like to introduce you to Kat."

  "I'll be back at Christmas. Take care, Arthur."

  "See you then."

  Arthur hung up and was ready to face the launch. He decided to do something to get out of his own head. A little breakfast, and then he'd take a walk. This time tomorrow, he'd be knee-deep in pushing his book on anyone who would listen.

  It was a little after eight o'clock, and Winifred was exhausted from her quick trip to see her parents. Barry had kindly offered to pick her up from the airport. He'd planned to take her to dinner, but a text from James ruined their plans. He needed to see her immediately. Barry made her promise she'd call after she was done, even if it was late. He was a sweetie.

  She left the elevator, and even before she got through James's penthouse door, she could hear commotion. She thought, What have I gotten into tonight?

&n
bsp; The room was mostly filled with people she didn't know. Winifred look for Maren, Sue, and Billy but didn't see them. James's publicist and editor were talking to him when they spotted Winifred. Trisha waved her over.

  "Winifred, you're here. Did you hear about what James has done?"

  She was afraid to guess.

  "This whole time while his assistants were trying and failing to help him write his book, he had been writing another one in secret. You must read it; it's fantastic," she said, holding up a stack of printer paper.

  It wasn't just any stack of paper. Winifred's head began to spin, and her ears started to ring. Trisha was waving Beautiful Gears around, but it didn't have her name on it. It read "by James Walcott." She looked at James. He wouldn't meet her eyes.

  James waved his hand and, with a practiced tone of false modesty, said, "My inspiration came from many places. It was a team effort because the ideas were the fruit of the hours we spent working on the other project."

  Winifred's world was spinning out of control, and breathing became a challenge. She said, "I'm sorry, I'm feeling a bit tired from the flight," and then she heard her own voice add, "Congrats, James."

  Her legs wanted to give out, and she barely made it to the bathroom before breaking down into a quiet sob.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Arthur didn't wake up at eight o'clock as he had planned. Kat had turned off the alarm and let him sleep while she made him breakfast. When it was done, she nudged him awake. "It's launch day. I've made you breakfast with extra bacon."

  Maltese, in Kat's absence, had curled up on the pillow next to Arthur and said, "Meow" when Arthur stirred.

  "Oh, and I have breakfast for you, too, little furry one." With an arch of the back and another meow, Maltese walked over Arthur's chest, rubbed up against Kat with a purr, and then headed for the kitchen.

  "What's the old saying, the way to a man and his cat's heart is through the stomach?”

  "Something like that. Now, let's go check those numbers. The blast to your email list went out an hour ago, and Buffer has been tweeting about the release. You can eat while I check to see if the blog posts I arranged to run are up."

  The food was amazing. The sales numbers were less so. Kat tried to put Arthur's mind at ease by pointing out that the reporting is often delayed.

  The sales picked up, and by noon the book had climbed to 837th in the ranks from a little over 3,000, where it had been from the pre-orders, and there had been 6,207 page reads by Kindle Unlimited subscribers. The seven blog posts that wrote about the book's launch were starting to get comments.

  Arthur kept himself distracted by personally answering questions on the blogs and thanking people for their interest.

  At 2:00 a blast went out to Kat's readers list. With a little over 25,000 subscribers, she was able to move the needle on her launches, but a post-apocalyptic space opera wasn't really the read her fans were looking for, so the uptick was less pronounced.

  It seemed like an election, and all day they were watching the returns...and getting trounced.

  Around 4:00 a bit of good news came via a request for information on how the book was doing by the New York Times. They were doing a piece for the Tuesday edition, and Landon Barton had written a review. There wasn't any hint whether it was a favorable review or not.

  Just after nine o'clock, Kat got a call. Her expression said it was bad news.

  "What is it?"

  "Oh, it's nothing that can't wait."

  "Come on, you can tell me. You know I can take it."

  "I'm sorry, Arthur, but I did everything I could think of and..."

  "I know. The numbers are pretty bad considering how far we need to go."

  "No, it's not that."

  "Don't make me threaten to withhold sex."

  Kat laughed. "James Walcott's book just went live for pre-order, and he released the first three chapters on his website. My editor read it and said she thinks it's pretty good."

  Arthur was more surprised than upset. "Really?"

  "She said the premise is interesting, and it has a good hook."

  Arthur got on his laptop and brought up Amazon.com. He couldn't believe that the book already had five reviews from people that had received an ARC. "How did his publisher get everything done so quickly?"

  "I'm guessing they pulled out all the stops because they didn't want their guy losing."

  "Let's go find a place to get a drink where nobody knows me."

  "I'm buying," Kat said with heartbreaking tenderness in her eyes.

  "You'll have to. I'm about to be worth a negative 600K."

  He wished he hadn't made the last snarky remark. It wasn't funny, and he could tell it made Kat feel even worse about things. Arthur was as miserable about how badly she felt as he was about his own predicament. He didn't need to consult Eric for help on the math on this one. His book had climbed into the top 300 overall and was number one in two sub-categories, but he knew from their countless talks on the subject that books fell in the rankings just as quickly as they climbed. He had needed a top ten overall day and hadn't come close.

  The sequel, Asin's Hope, had already started to get pre-orders, but those sales didn't help with the bet.

  They found a bar that Arthur hadn't been to before. The red leather booths, oak bar, and single television in the corner gave the place a retro 70s feel that wasn't intended to be retro; it was just old. The man behind the bar had a tattoo that told Arthur he was ex-Navy. He took the stub of a cigar that looked like he'd been chewing on it since the Ford administration out. "What'll you have?"

  "I'll take a double malt if you have one," Arthur said and looked at Kat.

  "Make it two."

  Arthur picked the booth by the jukebox, and Kat sat down. He slid in to the other side, took a sip of his drink, then took her hand. "You're a smart, beautiful woman, Katarina, and aside from your poor taste in men, I'd rate you one swell dame."

  "I know it isn't the whiskey talking, since we just got here; it must be the bar."

  "Yeah, I know it's more 70s than 50s, but you're too classy to get wooed by slang from the age of disco."

  "That may be the nicest or strangest compliment I've ever gotten."

  "I was going for both."

  "You succeeded."

  "I've still got my place back at Beckerston. I'll move back there and..."

  "And?"

  "Well, I was going to say do more writing, but I'm not sure if James will take it from me or not."

  "Oh Arthur, I'm so sorry."

  "It wasn't your mouth that got me into this mess; it was mine, but you know what?"

  "What?"

  "Aside from making me a better, albeit still somewhat jaded, person, you've shown me the power of publishing. Will I be in debt to that jerk for a while? Yes, but I like this series, and it's going to, as you so often point out, earn me money for the rest of my life. It's like three tiny little worker bees that never get tired."

  "That's strangely optimistic of you."

  "It's something new I'm trying."

  "We don't know you're going to lose; you still have twenty-nine more days."

  "You're adorable when you play the delusional card. His following is huge, but like I said, I still have the series, the third book is coming along nicely, and I've already got some ideas for another trilogy after this one is done. I'll just have to get used to the idea that my nemesis beat me."

  "Maybe you could get a new nemesis?"

  "That's not a bad idea."

  "How about someone like Turgenev?"

  "Oh, I like Turgenev too much, but I like where you're going with that. If I choose someone who's dead, it will greatly reduce the chance of a new release beating mine."

  "What about Henry Miller?"

  "That's not a bad suggestion; he's been dead for over thirty years, and it's really hampered his productivity." Arthur raised his glass. "To Henry Miller. The old dead bastard is my new nemesis."

  They drank and laug
hed. Arthur had found his soulmate.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Winifred didn't call Barry after she left James's place. She went home and cried herself to sleep. The next morning, she considered calling in sick, but she had to go to work. It was the worst job in the world, but she didn't want to lose it. The only thought that kept her from going crazy was that at least she had Barry.

  Winifred called him and apologized before she left the apartment. She promised she'd make it up to him after work. It was going to be nearly unbearable to be in the same room with James, but if she didn't have a job, she'd need to move back home to her parents’. She wasn't going to lose her book and boyfriend in the same week.

  She wasn't the first to arrive to James's place. There were ten temps busily writing scathing reviews of Arthur's book. James was ruthless, and she couldn't believe that she'd once idolized him. He was an ugly person through and through.

  The worst part is he never once acknowledged what he had done. It was as if he actually believed he had written Beautiful Gears.

  All day she wandered around in a fog, ordering food for the reviewers, scheduling interviews for James, and doing her best to behave as if nothing had happened. A strange thing happened around noon; she stopped thinking about the hole that had been ripped out of her heart and started to worry about Barry.

  She hadn't told him that she worked for James. Now, all she wanted to do was tell Barry what he'd done, but she would first have to admit she'd been lying to him. The voice in her head said she hadn't lied. It had been an error of omission. She ignored the voice and continued to get sadder at the thought of the conversation she knew had to happen.

  As each hour passed, she imagined Barry reacting worse and worse until finally she was sure he would never speak to her again. If she had only remembered to pack Beautiful Gears, none of this would have happened. It was so stupid.