MANIAC - LOVE DERANGED
Page 8
And they all replied: ‘Actually, no; we’re really not interested in what you’re trying to do.’
I was totally desperate; it was enough to make one crazy. But finally, I did finish at some point. My mother was very proud, and told everyone who would listen:
My Jason, a doctor! Although she really didn’t know what a graduate degree was, and neither did her friends.”
How self-assured he was now, sitting in front of her at the breakfast table.
He was relaxed and comfortable, chatting freely, without any reservations.
At age 22, Valerie felt inferior to him. She felt tense in his presence.
But she did her best not to let on that she felt diminished in comparison; instead, she assumed the role of an intellectual.
It was really the only area in which he couldn’t fool her, and in which he couldn’t keep up.
“It’s good that you didn’t drink any vodka yesterday; it would have been too bad after such a beautiful night!” Jason said enthusiastically,
beaming at Valerie. She had already told Jason earlier that after drinking even the smallest amount of vodka, she always suffered from memory loss. Consequently, she was always careful not to imbibe.
Valerie beamed back at him, and said: “Yes, you’re absolutely right, it would have been a shame!”
During the first few years, Valerie was by no means Jason’s equal. Although he wasn’t an intellectual, he was superior to her in life- experience and sophistication. He had already seen and done just about everything. They weren’t on the same level.
In comparison to him, she was a poor, inexperienced little soul.
And that’s how she felt in his presence. She considered herself infinitely naïve and stupid next to him.
Once in a while he made her sorely aware of her inexperience when, for example, he said to her: “Your seemingly wise insights into life have all come from your books!”
Valerie had spent the afternoon with her friend, Vanessa; they had wandered through Zurich, stopped for coffee, and had a long and intensive chat.
Afterwards, Valerie made a brief stop at her friend’s house, although she knew that Jason was waiting for her at his apartment. But, as she secretly
had to admit to herself, she actually felt better at her friend’s, and didn’t feel the slightest desire to return to him at home.
“Goodness, Valerie,” her friend reminded her in the course of the afternoon, “Jason is no doubt waiting for you and longing to see you! Shouldn’t I drive you over there?”
“Oh, no, I just want to keep him waiting for me patiently a little while longer!” she responded. She had hardly finished uttering the words when her cell phone sounded with a message from Jason:
“Hello, Valerie, in case you’re looking for me, Viaduct Street 83. Kiss”
“See, what did I tell you?! He’s already waiting for you!”
Valerie was surprised that his longing for her was apparently greater than she thought, but also gratified at the same time; it put her in a good mood, and she felt a deep satisfaction.
“Okay, then I should probably take off!” she said to Vanessa.
“Absolutely, Sweetie, and I’ll be happy to drive you over there; it’s just around the corner!”
Valerie rang the bell, and Jason opened the door in his boxer shorts and a white T-shirt. He seemed a little groggy, as if he had just gotten out of bed. Clearly at a loss for words, they smiled and greeted each other with a kiss on the lips.
“Did you have a nice afternoon?” Jason asked.
“Yes, Vanessa and I went shopping in town and stopped for coffee, and I ran into your friend Romain, whom we saw yesterday. He’s really an operator. Already had another woman in tow today!”
“Yes, I know,” Jason responded, very casually.
“He just called and told me all about it. He wants to go out to eat with you this evening!”
“Excuse me?” Valerie was visibly surprised.
“What is he thinking?” I’ve made plans with Vanessa, and anyway ..!”
“Yes, precisely, it’s really not a problem. You can have dinner as a threesome. I’m going to be at the ball in the meantime and won’t be available ‘til later. I was just going to send him your number so that you can make plans!”
“Why would you do that?! I don’t approve at all. You can’t give just anybody my number; that simply won’t do!”
Valerie was very angry and disappointed, and tried very hard to regain her composure and maintain a cool façade.
“Oh, I’m glad you told me. I’ll be sure to do the right thing in the future!”
Jason retained his cool exterior and assumed his familiar Poker-face – tranquil and untouchable. Inhuman.
Then he continued: “Romain also said to me, ‘You know, Jason, I think that Valerie has taken a liking to me too!’ ”
That couldn’t possibly be true. What kind of game was this, and who was actually playing with her?
Was Romain out of his mind or possibly a megalomaniac? Or was Jason fucked up and trying to make her furious?”
In the worst case scenario, both possibilities existed.
Valerie just wanted to crawl into bed and never hear or know anything about Jason again.
“Neither I nor my girlfriend, Vanessa, have any interest in your friend,” was the only statement that Valerie added. “And don’t give anyone my number without asking me, understand?”
“I’m sorry, Valerie, but I thought Romain might not be too bad for your girlfriend!”
“No one is interested in him, and now let me go to sleep!”
Valerie just wanted to have a break and get away from Jason as quickly as possible.
She took off her clothes, slipped into her nightshirt and lay down in the bedroom. But Jason simply wouldn’t leave her alone.
He crept around the bed like a panther and kissed her on the lips.
Apparently he was sorry, but they didn’t say a word to each other;
and they replayed this scene several times.
“Valerie?”
“Yes, what is it?”
“Oh, I just don’t feel like going to the ball this evening!”
He wasn’t paying any attention at all to her wishes for some peace and quiet.
Then he began to polish his shoes in the bedroom.
This simply couldn’t be happening; Valerie was really annoyed with him.
“Jason, if you’re not going to be quiet right now, then I’ll go lie down in the guestroom!” she threatened him.
“No, you can’t do that. The banker from London is coming back tomorrow. She wants to pick up the rest of her things and will spend the night in the guestroom. I’ve already put fresh linens on the bed!”
Oh, great, that too, Valerie said to herself. Now, apparently, the ominous banker whom she hadn’t met yet was arriving. The only evidence of her that she had seen was her cosmetics in the bathroom.
Valerie decided that she wouldn’t react to Jason’s antics anymore. She pretended to be asleep and didn’t answer him.
But he didn’t give up, and moved to the head of the bed:
“I’ll be quiet now, I promise!”
He gave her the hundredth kiss of the day and actually did leave her alone.
After she had slept soundly for almost an hour, she climbed the stairs to the living room in her sleepshirt, without getting dressed.
Oh, what’s the use, she didn’t want to be mad at him any longer; her nap had altered her mood for the better. Jason was standing in the living room already dressed for the ball in his tuxedo and bow tie, and he looked simply fantastic, which Valerie couldn’t help but notice.
She was jealous. All this time, she had avoided speaking to him about the ball in greater detail because she was too proud to give herself away.
As she saw him standing there, however, she couldn’t imagine that he was going to the ball without a female companion.
Her imagination was working like crazy.
“Oh, Sweetie, did you sleep well?”
“Jason, Vanessa and I want to go to Aura for dinner this evening; is that a good place?”
“Yes, actually very good, you’ll enjoy it! What have you planned for later?”
“We want to go to a bar afterwards and then to Diagonal!”
“Well, I wouldn’t recommend Diagonal, that’s not such a good place for tonight. But call me later and let me know where you are, and I’ll come by and pick you up!”
“Okay, fine, but please not too late. You know I’ll be with Vanessa and she likes to go to bed early; partying with her is out of the question!”
“Of course; I’ll be there no later than 11:00 p.m.!”
“Okay, ‘til later then!”
They gave each other a quick kiss good-bye, and Jason was just about to run down the living room stairs, when he stopped and turned around again:
“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I put the key to the apartment on the table for you.
We only have one key. In case you meet someone this evening who appeals to you more than I do, let me know so that I can get the key back!”
The words hit Valerie like a slap in the face.
She was completely perplexed; no one had ever said anything like that to her before.
What was going on with that man?
Was he really as fucked up as it seemed – or was he just insecure and couldn’t properly judge their situation?
In any case, there were these constant little psycho-games.
Life with him was certainly exciting, but also very taxing.
Annoyed, Valerie only shook her head in Jason’s direction:
“That is absolutely not my style and you should really know that by now. I wish you a nice evening and will see you later!”
Valerie was looking forward to the evening with her girlfriend, Vanessa.
After she took a shower and finished getting dressed, she studied herself in the mirror.
Yes, she liked what she saw. She looked genteel and yet quite sexy. And she didn’t want to think about Jason any more. Most probably everything was only half as bad as she imagined, and he was going to the ball for professional reasons. The stupid story regarding the key was probably only a manifestation of his insecurity and a test, probing how far he could go. Or he said what he said because he didn’t really know where Valerie stood. She had indeed been maintaining a certain cool reserve where he was concerned.
She took a bottle of Champagne out of the well-stocked refrigerator and was about to open it when the doorbell rang.
It was Vanessa, punctual as usual.
“Fourth floor, Sweetie, Apartment C,” she spoke into the intercom in a cheerful voice.
“I’m on my way up!” she heard her friend say. They greeted one another at the door with great exuberance, not at all as if they had seen each other just a few hours before.
“Boy, this is some apartment!” Vanessa was clearly impressed.
“You have all the luck – great guy, and successful, too!”
Valerie was happy to hear her girlfriend’s compliments and showed her around the big penthouse.
“Not bad, right?” she asked Vanessa.
They were in a giddy mood and were as happy as thieves that Jason happened not to be at home. Valerie could usher Vanessa through the various rooms as the quasi-hostess-in-residence.
“Come upstairs with me; I’ve opened a bottle of Champagne for us!”
“Valerie, Valerie, you’re living pretty well,” her friend said with a smile.
After they had drunk the Champagne, they made their way to dinner.
“And what is Jason doing this evening?”
“He’s at a ball.”
“Oh – without you?”
There it was again. Her friend had unexpectedly brought up the question.
“Yes, but it’s more of a business-related thing!” Valerie countered.
She didn’t want to reveal her hand right now and allow an unpleasant mood to set in, nor divulge unnecessary information about Jason.
Later, at Aura, dinner was extraordinary, but Valerie’s thoughts were elsewhere the whole time.
“You’d rather be with Jason, wouldn’t you?” Vanessa asked her, apparently having noticed that she wasn’t quite in the moment.
“No, no, absolutely not; I’m happy to be here with you!”
After dinner they went to have a drink at a nearby bar, and then headed to Diagonal.
Valerie could hardly believe her eyes. Shortly before they got there, and from a considerable distance, she could already see that there was a ball in progress!
And it was highly likely that it was the ball that Jason was attending – at the Hotel Baur au Lac, to which the club belonged.
That lousy rat, Valerie thought to herself; he had conned her. That’s why he had so innocently advised her not to head to the Diagonal Club this evening.
It was unbelievable!
Valerie was disappointed. She hadn’t expected this of him. He was so hypocritical and devious. What else could she expect of him now?
And quite certainly he wasn’t at the ball alone; that would be totally illogical anyway. Who would go to a ball alone?
He had intentionally sent her down the wrong track so that she wouldn’t show up here.
She immediately lost her interest in him, but she swore that she had to get even.
She would have loved to leave right now, but she still had her things in his apartment and his key, too. She would see to it that he wouldn’t see the latter again for a while!
She glanced at her cell phone; he had already called her twice and sent her a text-message:
“Where is Valerie??? Kiss”
But Valerie didn’t answer him right away, to torture him a little and to avenge herself for the ball.
She hoped he would be worried about her and intended to increase his fear that he might not get his key back.
He was so devious, and all the people who had warned Valerie about him were apparently right. He was a lousy rat!
In her disappointment, she turned to her friend:
“Vanessa, can I sleep at your place tonight?”
“But why, Sweetie? You seemed so enthusiastic about Jason; why the change of heart?”
“Because he blandly lied to me. He deliberately sent me down the wrong track so that I wouldn’t come here. He didn’t tell me anything about the ball – and that was probably because he didn’t come alone.
Please, can I stay with you?”
“No, absolutely not!”
Vanessa didn’t see the situation from her point of view.
“Relax, everything is probably only half as bad as you imagine. He most likely didn’t mean anything by it; he just wanted to avoid making you angry for no reason. You can calm down, knowing that you’re staying with him, and have his key. That speaks for itself! You’d regret it tomorrow if you abruptly left him without notice tonight! Come back down to earth, Valerie, and look at the big picture. You’re usually not that small-minded!”
That was true; she was usually quite tolerant, not so uptight.
Alright, she would think about the situation a little longer, but she wouldn’t answer his texts yet, under any circumstances. That would be her revenge!
“Okay, I’ll think it over!” Valerie said to Vanessa.
She had hardly spoken the words when she saw Jason. Apparently he had just come into the club and was alone.
With his eagle eye, he had immediately spotted Valerie, and visibly incensed, pounced on her.
“What’s going on? Why didn’t you answer my text?”
“Because you’re here at the ball and tried to keep me from showing up here, too, apparently! Do you think that’s the right thing to do?”
Her eyes were ablaze with indignation.
“Valerie, believe me, I didn’t mean to offend you. I just didn’t want to cause
you unnecessary concern!”
Valerie’s piercing stare didn’t waiver; she didn’t believe a word he said.
“Okay, then let’s go; this isn’t making any sense!”
Jason was ready to leave.
“Where did you park the car?” Valerie asked him.
“I’m not driving; your girlfriend will have to drive us home!” Jason said innocently.
“Excuse me?” Valerie again looked at him with suspicion.
“Of course you know that when I’m in Zurich, I travel by foot or take the tram!”
That couldn’t possibly be true; she didn’t believe a word. Apparently some slut had picked him up in front of the apartment earlier, while she sat on the sofa, unaware.
How stupid did he think she was!?
Slowly she became insanely enraged. She had already been angry with him earlier. He had begun by deceiving her about the ball; in all likelihood, the tramp had been with him all evening.
And he was playing all innocence and naiveté. She had had enough of him.
“Excuse me?!” she hissed at him. “You don’t want to tell me that you walked here in your tuxedo?”
“Well, okay, I took a taxi!” Jason admitted, somewhat chastened.
“Just a minute, wait for me; I have to get my bling-bag!”
And he disappeared around the corner.
“Valerie, have you gone crazy? You just yelled at Jason at the top of your lungs!”
Her girlfriend was really surprised; she had never seen Valerie like this.
“He hasn’t done anything to you; calm down!”
What did Vanessa know! He was a miserable rat, and now she had to spend the night with him.
She felt completely out-maneuvered by him; he had conned her!
But before she could respond to her friend, Jason was back.
“So, can we go now?” he confronted her.
The atmosphere between them was extremely tense.
“Vanessa, could you drive us home?”
Jason’s voice sounded somewhat more conciliatory – at least when addressing Vanessa.
“Yes, of course, no problem; you live just around the corner from me.”
On the way to the car, Valerie and Jason didn’t exchange a single word.