Sounds of Yesterday

by Pacheco, Briana

  “I know! I heard a group of girls talking about this party last weekend where they spent ten grand on dresses and purses and shit, like I can get so much food with ten grand if I had it.”

  The bus stops in front of us and opens its doors. We get on and find some seats.

  Zach fidgets in his seat for a few minutes, rubbing his hands up and down his legs repeatedly. I stare at him from the corner of my eye debating whether or not I should ask what’s wrong. I finally give in. It’s not every day we have so much time together where we can discuss things, and I miss our little friend hangouts.

  “Are you okay?”

  Zach stares out of the window then drags his eyes back to me. “I need your honest opinion about something.” I nod, telling him to go on. “I bought Soph a ring.”

  My eyes become the size of saucers and I start smacking his arm. “You can’t tell me this! She’ll see it all over my face. What is wrong with you?”

  He grabs my hand and holds it away from him. “Chill. I’m not going to propose–”

  “You’re such an asshole. She doesn’t deserve you.” I try to hold a straight face but I can’t and I start laughing. “I’m just kidding. Continue.”

  “Yet,” he adds.

  OHMYGOD, this is happening! My best friends are going to get married some day!!!

  “It’s small. Like, realllllllly small. It was the only thing I could afford.”

  His eyes sadden a bit so I start smacking his arm again.

  One of the passengers stare at us like we’re crazy.

  “Is this why you were talking about rich girls?” He nods. “Soph isn’t high maintenance. She won’t give a shit if it’s small, Zach. The chick literally has a secret Pinterest board for her future wedding and the picture she has as her ring is a goddamn Ring Pop. You always gave them to her.”

  “No shit.” Zach’s eyes widen and he cracks a smile. “So she sees a future…with me?”

  “Do you want me to continue smacking you? Of course she sees a future with you! You guys have been secretly married since you got back together in high school. Only she and I know of this wedding, obviously.”

  “You two are so weird.” He chuckles and grabs my hand before I smack his stomach. “Are we too young? This is what I need to know. From you. You’re always the voice of reason. You know us better than anyone.”

  “No, I’m not.” I play with the bottom of my shorts as I think over my answer. I’d tell him to do whatever he wants, it’s his life, but he wants a real answer from me. The best I can think of is, “If you have to ask me, then maybe you are too young.” I grab his hand and squeeze. “I mean this nicely, Zach. The moment you know when, you’ll know. You’ll feel it in your bones and you won’t need anyone’s opinion. It could be tomorrow for all we know. You just need to be sure that it’s what you want. No doubts. I won’t judge you if it’s years from now. As long as you make Soph happy and you’re happy, I’m happy.”

  He nods once then stares down at our hands.

  “This was much more helpful than talking to Sophie’s dad. Phew!” Zach wipes his brows and clutches his heart. “He gave me his blessing then added that if I get her pregnant in college, I’ll be taken care of and a wedding will never happen.”

  “Oh, god.” I give him a sideways hug and pat his shoulder that must hurt from my beating. “Looks like you need to stop having so much unprotected sex now.”

  “Unbelievable.” Zach narrows his eyes at me. “She tells you when we don’t use a condom?”

  I shrug my shoulder. “It’s Sophie. She tells me everything.”

  ***

  After we get off the bus and walk the rest of the way to Liam’s house, both Zach and I feel like we’re so underdressed to be walking down Pine Drive. These houses are valued at way more than a million each. The most expensive thing I have on is my Chucks. I could possibly be considered a homeless runaway by these neighbors.

  “This looks like a nice neighborhood,” Zach comments, stopping in front of Liam’s place, heading up the walkway.

  “This is a goddamn palace,” I mutter.

  You can fit ten or more of Mom’s house in here.

  My phone buzzes in my back pocket. I grab it as I stare at the beauty of this place. Trees create a barrier on either side of us. It’s like walking into your dream house. I’ve seen houses like this on TV, never in real life.

  “Hello?” I answer, looking from side to side to spot the front door. All I see are pillars and more walkways and trees.

  “Did you make it?” Liam asks.

  “Yeah, we’re walking up the walkway now. Where’s the front door? Or do we go to the back? How do we navigate around here? Help.”

  “Oh, we’re in the back.” He covers the mouthpiece of his phone and mumbles something. “I’ll come get you. It’ll take two minutes.”

  “Alright, thank you!” I hang up and glance at Zach. “He’ll be here in two minutes.”

  Zach’s jaw drops. “I can run around my house, enter it, go upstairs, and leave again in two minutes.”

  I nod because it’s true.

  We continue up the walkway and stop somewhere on the path that breaks off in two directions. I won’t even try and guess which one to take. So we wait.

  Liam appears farther down one path so we start walking toward him. “Welcome to mi casa.” He turns and we follow. “My mom’s with a client so we can’t go through the front. It would be so much faster.” Liam looks over at me. “I have food ready for you so you don’t pass out.”

  I flip him off. He and Zach laugh.

  “Have you lived here long?” I ask. Even though we’ve all become close, Liam is still the silent guy who doesn’t offer much about himself. I try to see if he’ll open up. We’re both quiet so it’s taking some time.

  “Almost four years. My mom designed this house herself.”

  “She’s freaking talented, man. This place is amazing.” Zach’s eyes land on the pool in the distance. That pool is massive. It must take some time getting from one end to another. Man, swimming in there must be fun! “Do you have a big family?” See, we don’t know enough of this man!

  Liam stares at the pool then looks away. I notice his hands are fisted by his sides. “No, it’s just me and my parents. They planned on filling up all nine bedrooms but…life happens and dreams die.”

  Zach looks at me with raised brows. Yeah, I notice the shift in his voice too.

  “During the holidays, the house gets filled up though.” Liam waves his hand around and starts pointing at windows. “There’s nine bathrooms all over the house so no one ever waits.”

  Damn, that would have been nice back home. Declan always rushed me.

  When we finally reach a sliding door near the back of the house we enter a room with floor-to-ceiling windows. I spot a Yamaha C7 concert grand piano sitting in the middle. I spin in a circle and say, ‘wow’ a few times. I feel like singing and dancing around it. I cross my arms over my chest to contain the tingling in my fingers. I want to touch it. I want to touch it so badly. It’s in such good shape.

  “It looks brand new.”

  “No one plays it,” Liam acknowledges.

  “I want to die playing one of these.” I close my eyes and write that on my mental bucket list. Before my last breath, I’ll play the last note of a song I create on a piano like this. I will.

  “You can play if you want.” I stare at Liam like he is God. “I’m serious.”

  “If I sit down, I’ll never get up.”

  “Next time, then.”

  I press my fingers together and wiggle them back in forth like a happy child.

  We walk down a hallway and stop at a door. There are more closed doors down the hallway, if I leave, I’ll need a map to make it out alive. When we enter the room, Tyler and Cindy are sitting on chairs with guitars in their hands, lost in their own world. Tyler looks up and smiles at me, waving his hand quickly before going back to strumming a few notes.

  I look around and find t
he drum set, Tyler’s guitar stool, and an upright piano all set up away from each other so we’re not breathing down each other’s necks.

  “Can I use the bathroom before we start?” I ask. We’re going to be here for a while and I don’t want any interruptions.

  Liam tells me that the nearest one is down the hallway to the right, the third door down. I can’t miss it. “The plumber is checking all of the bathrooms so kick him out if he’s in there.”

  “He’s alone?” I ask, staring down the hallway. I swallow the lump in my throat and push away memories of the last time I went to the bathroom in a house full of people. Not now, Emily. It’s just a bathroom.

  “Uh, I think there’s another guy. Just lock the door, they’ll understand.”

  I will my legs to move but they don’t.

  It’s just a bathroom!

  “You know what, I have to go too. I’ll walk with you,” Zach says, behind me.

  “There’s another bathroom,” Cindy comments, looking up at us. “You don’t have to wait.”

  “I’m good, thanks.”

  Zach pushes me to walk so I do.

  I hear Cindy giggling about me having to be walked to the bathroom. “I wonder what Alex thinks about her being alone with a guy.”

  “Mind your own business, fuck,” Liam interjects.

  “Ignore her,” Zach adds.

  We head to the bathroom and before I go in, I say, “Thank you for coming with me. I don’t know why I stalled back there. It’s just a bathroom.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I need to piss.” I catch his eyes and I know he’s just being nice. He saw me hesitate. He found a way to make me feel safe when I was starting to doubt it.

  I do my business then we head back.

  Cindy sits next to Zach but he ignores her by being on his phone while the rest of us practice.

  When we’re done and like what we’ve come up with; something fast and emotional where it slowly fades into something darker then picks back up with the promise of something hopeful, we call it a night and stuff ourselves.

  I look over at Cindy who is gawking at me and my stuffed cheeks.

  “Everything you ate is going to go straight to your ass.”

  Tyler groans and throws his head back. “Cindy. Seriously.”

  “What, I’m just being honest.”

  I chew the rest of the food in my mouth and wash it down with water. “Alex likes having something to grab onto. Fucking a skeleton isn’t his thing.”

  Liam chokes on his water and coughs a few times, making himself the center of attention for the time being.

  Cindy gets this dark look in her eyes and she looks about ready to jump me. What the hell is wrong with her? I didn’t call her a skeleton. I was just stating a fact about what my boyfriend prefers. He likes my body even if I need to lose a few pounds.

  “What about Professor Cohen?”

  “What about him?” I ask, drinking more water. She’s making me not hungry and I don’t like that.

  “Have you ever fucked him?”

  It’s my turn to spit up water.

  “You know what, Cindy, it’s getting late.” Tyler stands and grabs his phone, typing something. “Liam, I’m going to have Jordan drive us back.” Liam nods and stares at Cindy with a look that I can only compare to as looking at someone you want to throat punch then kick in the stomach.

  Cindy sits up straighter and pierces me with her perfectly made smokey eyes.

  “Everyone thinks it. You two are always staring at each other. I just–”

  “Cindy.” Tyler stands in front of her. “Get up.”

  “I’m talking. Don’t interrupt me.” She rolls her eyes and looks back at me. “I want to know why you have an A plus in his class.”

  “Because I know music.” I stand up and grab my purse from the floor. “Not everyone has to get on their knees for an A.” I’ve heard stories of students failing so they seduce their teachers. I’m not one of those girls. The only man I’ll ever seduce is Alex.

  “No, they just date a billionaire and have him payoff the professor because his girlfriend sucks him off.”

  “What is your problem?” I seethe.

  “Back the fuck off her you moronic airhead,” Zach growls.

  “Get the fuck out of my house.” Liam stands and grabs her purse from the floor, tossing it into her lap. “Don’t ever bring her back here, Ty.”

  “Trust me. She won’t be around anymore.”

  Cindy stands and shoves Tyler out of her way. “You’re hiding something and I’m going to figure out what it is. There’s something off about you.”

  There must be something wrong with my face then because kids from high school said the same thing. I was the loner, the weirdo, the fucking terrorist. They tormented me because I was quiet. They seriously thought I was going to harm them when I didn’t give two fucks about them before the rape. After the rape is when they should have been scared. I wanted to punch them in the face until their teeth came out.

  “You should focus on studying. Seems you’re failing that class,” I say calmly.

  She flips me off and stomps out of the room.

  There’s a heavy silence that gets interrupted by our breathing.

  “I’m sorry,” Tyler apologizes to me. “You didn’t deserve that.” He walks to the door and adds, “I’ll make sure she leaves.”

  Liam grabs a trashcan and starts cleaning up the mess we’ve made. I have no idea what just went down nor do I want to delve into it so I help him.

  “Not everyone thinks you screwed him, by the way. Tyler and I just joked about that.”

  “He’s Emily’s father, to even joke about it is sick.”

  Liam stops himself from throwing an empty water bottle into the trashcan and looks up.

  “He’s your dad?”

  “More like sperm donor. We don’t even like each other.” I grab some food wrappers and crinkle them up, handing them to Liam. “If you could keep that a secret, I’d appreciate it.”

  He grabs the wrappers and throws them into the trashcan. “She’s a fucking idiot, if you really think about it. Our exams are online. Cohen grades us on exams and participation.”

  “Yeah and the fact that he’d fail me if given the chance doesn’t help her case.”

  “I still can’t believe he’s your father.”

  Neither can I. The man I called my father walked out on his family and never cared to check up on us. He was a drunk. He was keeping us from being a happy family.

  “What I miss?” Tyler asks, walking into the room. “Cindy’s gone. Sorry again about that.”

  “Cohen is Emily’s father.”

  Both Zach and I stare at him like he’s an idiot.

  He gets the look.

  “Oh, you wanted me to keep that from Tyler?” I nod because hello, it’s a secret for a reason. The less people who know, the better. “Sorry.”

  “He’s your father! Holy shit.” Tyler’s eyes widen and he rubs his jaw. “How are you in his class?”

  “No one knows. The dean is his fiancée’s father and since he never told her he had kids, it kind of won’t appear anywhere. So I told him not to make passing easy. He said he wasn’t. I’m just a regular student.”

  “What a prick,” both Liam and Tyler blurt.

  “I know.”

  We finish cleaning up and Liam announces that his driver can bring us back to the dorms.

  When I ask Tyler how Cindy went home, he said he told Liam’s driver to make sure she got into a taxi. She wasn’t worthy of Jordan’s services. He also adds, “No one disrespects my best friend’s girl like that. We got you.”

  We walk past the piano room when an older woman walks toward us.

  “Liam, honey! I made some food for you and your friends to take with you. It’s your–”

  A woman with bright blue eyes moves Tyler to the left after handing him a bag with tupperware then she stands inches from me.

  Liam is staring at
her like she might lose it and he’s calculating what to do next.

  “Hi,” I say because no one is speaking and this woman is just staring me and it’s starting to become extremely awkward.

  “You have the same eyes,” she whispers. She looks at Liam then back at me and tears pool in her eyes. “I’m sorry. This is embarrassing. You just remind me of my daughter.”

  Daughter?

  Liam said he was an only – oh, OH. Shit.

  She grabs my shoulder and squeezes. I feel her heartache and longing in that squeeze. She drops her hand and turns to kiss Liam on the cheek. “I’ll tell your father that you’re doing well.” She kisses Tyler on the cheek next and wishes us a safe trip back to the dorms.

  Liam’s driver is waiting out front for us.

  We don’t speak of Liam’s sister.

  He’s extra quiet during the ride.

  Chapter 23

  It’s four in the morning, and I’m awake. I’m awake because my ‘sperm donor’ called last night to tell me that he’s in serious heat for an anonymous claim stating that he and I have had an inappropriate relationship since the beginning of the semester.

  I waited all week to see if Cindy would say something. Looks like she did.

  What a bitch.

  I sit up in bed and stare at my piano.

  Music is my life and I will not let some chick with problems fuck up my future. I throw on clothes and head to Alex’s room. I call him once with no luck. I knock on his door a little louder than someone should at this time but I’m hopeless.

  My father can’t get himself out of this problem. Having this reported or even investigated will tarnish both of us.

  The semester ends in less than a month. We can’t have something like this happen. We’re related for crying out loud. But that doesn’t help either. The board will probably assume I’m passing because he’s my father. Why couldn’t he just ignore me in class and call my name when needed? Why did he have to be caught staring at me longer than a professor should look at his student?

  I call Alex one more time. I feel like all hope is lost when I’m about to get his voicemail but by some miracle, he picks up. “Em? What’s wrong?”