Two Kinds Of Truth

by Lynette Creswell

  “Right, folks, if I can have yir attention,” says Malcolm over the mic. “We’ll begin with question one: Which James Bond theme song, which starts with the words Meeting you, was the only double-O-seven theme song to reach the US charts?”

  I can feel a blank expression crossing my face. I flick my gaze towards Callum, who has the exact same look on his face, too.

  Maddie picks up a pencil and taps it lightly against the end of the table. “Off the top of your head,” she says, “give me some pop artists who were famous for singing on the James Bond movies.”

  “Shirley Bassey,” I say.

  “No way,” Callum replies, pulling a grimace. “She’s way too old.”

  “How about Sheena Easton; she went to America.”

  “Hmm. Think of the clue: Meeting you,” Maddie says and starts humming. “Wait, I think I’ve got it. Meeting you…with a view to a kill.”

  “Aye, that’s it,” I say, and lower my voice to make sure the other teams can’t overhear. “Wasn’t that a hit for Duran Duran?”

  Maddie nods enthusiastically and writes the answer on the piece of paper. “Yes! That’s it. Well done, Jamie.”

  I grin smugly at Callum who glowers at me.

  “Beginners luck,” he says.

  “Ye either have it or ye dinnea,” I reply, and Maddie and I mark our victory with a high five.

  Chapter 9

  It’s almost midnight by the time we arrive back at the farm. It’s been an entertaining evening, and although we didn’t win the quiz, we certainly gave the other contestants a run for their money.

  “I’ve had a fab night,” Maddie says, kicking off her shoes. She stands on each leg in turn, so she can massage the balls of her feet. She bends a little too far and loses her balance, grabbing the arm of a nearby chair to stop herself from falling. “Oops, I think I’ve had one too many,” she giggles, then plonks herself down into the chair and tucks her feet underneath her.

  “I enjoyed tonight,” she adds. “The locals made me very welcome and they’re such lovely people.” She sits back and closes her eyes. “Oh no, everything’s spinning. I think I’m going to suffer a cracking hangover in the morning.”

  “Away with ye. One more for the road won’t kill ye,” I say and pour three shots of Whisky. We’re in the study and I walk over and nudge her knee with mine. She forces her eyes open and I offer her the nightcap.

  She tries to stifle a loud yawn as she takes the tumbler. “Thanks. But after this, I’m off to bed.”

  I pass a glass to Callum. He’s sitting in one of the fireside chairs. “Slàinte mhath,” I say and we tip our glasses simultaneously, knocking back the golden liquid in one large gulp.

  I go back to the bar server and refill both glasses.

  “What does that mean?” Maddie asks, thoughtfully.

  “Good health,” Callum explains, and he raises his glass towards his wife.

  Maddie tries to pronounce the words in Gaelic. “Slanj-uh-va,” she says with a hiccup, then she giggles again. “Was that even close?”

  Callum grins. “Not bad for a Sassenach.”

  “Aye, we’ll make a Scot out of ye yet,” I joke.

  “I doubt it,” Maddie replies, rolling her eyes. “I didn’t even know until tonight that the Loch Ness monster inhabits the second largest lake in Scotland.”

  “Ah—that maybe so, but remember the loch has the freshest water. ’Tis also the deepest in the whole of Scotland, and why it’s able to hide monsters.”

  Callum chuckles. “Oh, wee Nessie. The folklore never ceases to amaze me. Every time I come home, there’s been at least one more sighting.”

  I lean against a large mahogany desk that sits in the centre of the room.

  “And don’t forget there’s supposed to be more than one monster in the loch, ye ken?” I tease.

  Maddie’s eyes grow wide. “You mean Nessie’s had babies?”

  “Aye, so they say, but no one’s ever seen them. It’s pure speculation.”

  Maddie turns towards her husband. “Oh, Cal, that reminds me: did you see the new-born baby tonight at the quiz? Wasn’t he adorable. Rhona, his mum, says I can pop by and see him anytime I wish.”

  Callum’s grin slides from his face and he takes a large gulp of Whisky.

  “That’s nice,” he presently says, “but don’t go getting emotionally attached.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “I mean: perhaps it isn’t such a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “You know why. Don’t make me spell it out.”

  She heaves a sigh and pulls her lips into a tight frown, then stands to place her empty glass on a nearby table.

  “I think it’s time I went to bed,” she says, then makes her way over and kisses me on my cheek. “Goodnight, Jamie, and thanks for a great evening.”

  She goes to Callum’s side but hesitates before her lips rest against his. “Night, Cal.”

  “I’ll come with you,” he says, and starts to rise from his chair. His movements are slow, half-hearted.

  Maddie put’s a hand against his chest. She shakes her head and smiles, but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. “No, you stay. Finish your drink. You can join me later.” She shoves her shoes back on and heads for the door, and without a backward glance, closes it behind her.

  “I can’t carry on like this for much longer,” Callum whispers into his glass. “I feel so guilty that I’m unable to give her what she wants. I know she pretends everything’s okay, but without a child of her own, it’s as though she’s on self-destruct.”

  I throw back my head, downing the last of my Whisky. “Are ye sure you’re not willing to adopt?”

  Callum shakes his head. “No, as selfish as it sounds, I just can’t. It wouldn’t be Maddie’s baby or mine. I couldn’t bond with someone who wasn’t ours from the start. The thought makes me shiver inside. I’d always be…detached.”

  “And you’ll nae reconsider?”

  “Never. It’s our blood or nothing.”

  I clear my throat nervously.

  “Okay. Against my better judgement, I’ll do it.”

  Callum shoots me a confused stare. “You’ll do what?”

  “I’ll sleep with Maddie, if ye still want me to.”

  Callum bolts upright. His jaw drops, his eyes now wide in disbelief.

  “Are you serious?” he asks. “I mean: you’re not fucking with me, are you?”

  I slam my empty tumbler down onto the desk. “Christ, Cal, like I’d ever joke about sleeping with yir wife.”

  Callum jumps to his feet and grabs hold of me, pulling me close. His eyes search mine, as though if he stares long enough he’ll find the answer there.

  “What changed your mind?” he asks.

  I let out a sigh, shrug him off and go and sit in one of the fireside chairs. Callum follows and sits directly opposite.

  I look down at my hands. They’re shaking. “If I’m honest, Maddie did.”

  “But how? When?”

  “I spoke to Maddie at the stables. I asked her, when we were mucking out the horses, what it was like not being able to have children.”

  “And what did she say?”

  “More than I deserve. I shouldn’t have gone prodding and poking about in her personal life like that. I simply had nae right.”

  “Just tell me what she said that changed your mind?”

  I jump to my feet. “I cannae pinpoint one exact moment,” I confess.

  Callum lets out a frustrated sigh. “But something must have triggered this change of heart?”

  “Aye, tonight at the quiz. When I spoke to her, it was as though something just clicked inside my head. It was as though I understood her pain. I came to realise just how much she desperately wants…no, needs a child of her own. It’s as though without a bairn she’s empty inside, and my asking her those questions earlier must have ripped her heart out.”

  “Sit down,” Callum insists. “I need to get my head around al
l this.”

  I stumble into one of the chairs and Callum presses a hand to my shoulder.

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” he tells me. “You just wanted to learn the truth from both sides.”

  “Aye, maybe you’re right. But tonight, at the pub, I saw her face when she held that bairn in her arms. I’ve never seen her look so radiant. She was a different person. She came alive and she was happy. I cannnae turn my back on her now, and I cannae deny her a chance to become a mother, either.”

  I watch Callum go back to the bar server, where he pours two more Whiskies, soon placing one in my hand. “Here, drink this, then we’ll change clothes.”

  I stare up at my brother. “Do you understand the implications of what I’m about to do?” I whisper. “They’ll be no turning back once I leave this room.”

  Callum drops his voice an octave. “I understand and take full responsibility.”

  “And if I do this, it must remain our secret forever.”

  Callum nods. “I’ll take it to the grave if I have to.”

  “Then let’s pray we don’t ever live to regret what we’ve now agreed to do.”

  ***

  I open the front door and let myself into the cottage. Large black shapes, silhouetted by the darkness, rise and fall before me like ghostly giants as I make my way through the living room and head for the doorway to the stairs.

  The only sound is my own breathing, which does nothing to help calm my taut nerves. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I look up towards the landing, a part of me expecting Claire to be standing there, waiting for me to come to bed. We had such hopes, such dreams together.

  I curl my fingers around the bannister, the wood cool against my skin, then lift my foot and take the first step, climbing each in turn. My heart beats loudly in my chest and I’m fearful of waking Maddie. It’s as though my own body will betray me.

  I’m dressed head to foot in Callum’s clothes. Our tastes are not so different; jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. We’ve changed everything, right down to our socks, shoes and underwear. I pull the neck of his shirt away from my throat, smelling his aftershave on its collar. It’s clean and fresh and citrusy. When I reach the top of the stairs, I stand there in the darkness for what seems like an age. There’s a slit of light shining down the hallway from the master bedroom, the door slightly ajar.

  Slowly, I make my way towards it, inching closer to the bedroom with each step I take. I’m filled with nervous energy, my hands shaking when I lift them into the light of the moon coming in through a window, then it seems I’m there, pushing the door wide open.

  I don’t want to disturb Maddie. She’s fast asleep, her tousled blond hair fanned out across her pillow. It reminds me of yellow corn, and I can’t deny she looks beautiful lying there. Her cupid-bow lips are alluring and seductive and her long dark lashes flicker, like butterfly wings, in her sleep.

  As I draw nearer, I slowly unbutton my shirt and gaze at her beauty, her skin creamy white, like porcelain. A deep sigh escapes me, for her lips are so tantalisingly plump and moist. They make me want to kiss her, to taste her.

  As though in a dream, I gently brush my lips against hers and she stirs and I take a step back, afraid she’ll awaken and realise I’m an imposter. I convince myself there’s no way she could tell the difference between Callum and me. Even Alasdair has difficulty telling us apart at times.

  Taking a deep breath, I chide myself for overreacting and close my eyes and calm my beating heart.

  When I blink my eyes open, it’s to let out a sigh of relief at seeing Maddie still sleeping.

  I brush my hand across the counterpane of the bed; it feels familiar, the quilt soft beneath my fingers, and a vision of Claire materialises inside my head. I see us both naked, wrapped in each other’s arms, making love on this very bed. Even when I squeeze my eyes tight shut, to obliterate the memory, it doesn’t fade. I sit on the edge of the bed and untie my laces, then take off my shoes.

  “Callum?” Maddie murmurs without opening her eyes.

  I freeze for a moment, then whisper, “Go back to sleep,” and she turns onto her side and mumbles something incoherent.

  I wait for her to settle and listen to her breathing, watching her chest rise and fall. When I think it’s safe, I gently pull back the covers.

  “I love you,” she mutters and flings herself onto her back.

  I unclasp my belt and unfasten my trousers, letting them slide past my hips and down onto the floor.

  ***

  Maddie

  “Callum, don’t leave,” I say.

  “Maddie, I have to,” he replies, picks up his bags from the driveway and flings them onto the backseat of the Peugeot. I take a step closer and pull at the sleeve of his jumper.

  “Please. Stay here with me,” I plead.

  “I wish I could, but I can’t.” He’s clearly controlling his face, trying not to grin—again. He’s been laughing and joking all morning. I guess it’s down to the amazing sex we had last night, and I hide a shy smile behind the back of my hand. He woke me up at some ungodly hour to make love to me, just like in the old days.

  He gives me that stare, the one which makes his eyes smoulder. I know what he’s doing. He’s trying to make me blush, to relive the passion we both shared together in bed.

  I feel like we’ve only just met, shy and giggly and not wanting us to part ever again.

  He kisses me on the lips and gently slides his tongue into my mouth. It’s warm and seductive, and my body responds, but he lets go.

  “There’ll be more of that when I get back,” he says, huskily, then opens the driver-side door and eases down into the leather seat. Clicking on his seatbelt, he closes the door and winds down the window.

  “See you next week.”

  “Ring me when you get home,” I say and wave goodbye as he drives away, my hand halting a mid-farewell gesture as an emptiness engulfs me. I look towards the rolling hills and hate that I need Callum to be happy.

  Back in the kitchen, I make myself a pot of tea. In the background, an old battered transistor radio is playing famous songs from the seventies. I glance at the clock; it’s almost eight. Alasdair should be back soon. I grab yesterday’s newspaper and go and sit by the fire. It’s a frosty morning and I enjoy warming my toes over the glowing embers.

  I’m glancing at the lonely-hearts page when I hear a car approach outside and sit bolt upright. I wonder if it’s Callum, whether he’s forgotten something important, and listen for the front door opening. When it doesn’t, I fold up the newspaper and place it onto the chair, leaving my cup on the kitchen table before hurrying through the hallway, to peer out of the front window. I push back the net curtain and see the back of a woman’s figure, someone who looks oddly familiar. But then I recognise the long dark hair and her slimness: it’s Ally, the vet. She’s dressed in tight blue jeans that make her legs look deliciously long as she stands beside a white 4 x 4. She slams the car door and kicks one of the silver wheel hubs. Then she lets out an infuriated scream. She’s pissed off about something, and so I press my nose closer to the glass to see whether she’s suffered a flat tyre, but doesn’t seem to have, not as far as I can tell. I’m about to pull on a pair of boots and go outside and investigate when I see Jamie hurrying towards her. As soon as he’s within earshot, Ally raises her voice and shouts: “I need to see him, now.”

  I crane my neck a little closer to the glass and see Jamie’s face turn deep crimson. He throws his arms into the air, and in return, Ally points an accusing finger close to his chest.

  “Don’t come here causing trouble,” he says, and they engage in a full-blown argument. My eyebrows knit together with concern, so I dash into the hallway and pull on those boots and grab a coat.

  Just as I’m opening the front door I hear Jamie shout “Get back in yir car and get off our land”.

  “Hey, what’s going on here?” I ask, hurrying towards them. I’m just a few feet away when Ally spins on her heels, her mouth tw
isting into an expression of disgust. Her green eyes now bulge wide as she looks at me as though I’m something she’s found stuck to the bottom of her shoe.

  “Oh, look who we have here. If it isn’t the temptress herself.”

  “What do you mean by that?” I say.

  “I thought he would have chosen someone a little more…educated, but then again, he always had a weakness for a pretty face.”

  “I don’t think there’s any need for you to talk to me like that,” and I jut out my chin in disdain.

  Jamie clears his throat. “I’ll not tell ye again, Ally. I said get yir arse off my land!”

  She spins around and glares at him. “Fine. If that’s the way you want to play it. But just make sure Callum knows I need to talk to him,” at which she grabs the door handle and climbs into the front seat of her car, starts the engine and slams the door shut. There’s a crunch of gears and the back tyres spin before she releases the hand-break and leaves the farm in a cloud of smoke.

  “What’s got her all riled up?” I say.

  Jamie shakes his head and takes a deep breath.

  “God only knows, but she’s mad about something.”

  “Why, what did she say?”

  “Och, she was upset. Kept repeating over and over that she needs to speak to Callum.”

  “About what?”

  “I couldnae say.”

  “Was it animal stuff?”

  “Nah; I dinnae think so.”

  “What then?”

  Jamie takes in a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he turns away from me, as though trying to find a means of escape.

  “Jamie, tell me; what is it?”

  He rubs the back of his head with his fingers, then thrusts his hands inside his pockets and takes a steadying breath. “I hate to be the one to tell ye, but she’s Callum’s ex.”

  “Oh?” I gulp. “He never said.”

  “Aye, and I’m sorry to be the one to break it to ye. However, she dinnae leave me much choice.”

  I pull my coat a little closer. “No, I guess not. But I just don’t get it. I mean, why now? What’s the meaning of her turning up here, unannounced, and shouting the odds?”