I also want you to know that I understand why you wanted me to die as well. You wanted me to give up and stop fighting to live but I’m sorry. As much as I wanted to make up for the things I’ve done or what I should have done, I can’t just leave my mom and Rachelle. I love them both and even things were tough between me and Rachel during that fateful day, the near-death experience I had made me realized that I truly cherish her and I can’t live without her in my life.
May you finally rest in peace, R.
- A.
Rachelle and I were walking away from the grave and towards the car when I suddenly felt cold all over my body.
“What’s wrong?” She asked as she paused walking and examined my face.
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
We got inside the car with me beside my mom in the front and Rachel sitting on the back seat. “You both okay?” My mom asked and we nodded at her. “Let’s go, then.” She said as she started the car.
My mom was talking the whole time inside the car that I didn’t notice that Rachel had been very silent. When our car was already on the freeway, I looked back at Rachelle to ask if she wanted to spend the night at our home. I didn’t get to ask her as I noticed her pale expression.
“Rach, what’s happening? You look pale.” I asked worriedly.
“I’m okay.” She said but the way she caught her breath said otherwise. She started to unhook her seat belt.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I can’t breathe.”
“No!” I heard my mom suddenly shouted beside me as she stepped on the brake.
The next thing I saw was Rachelle already thrown out of the window, over the hood of the car and shattered glasses and blood everywhere.
You can’t live without her.
I suddenly heard a familiar voice whispered just behind my ear.
Now she’s gone.
Problem solved.
Epilogue
In loving memory
Of
Rachelle Hunters
October 21, 1994
To
June 30, 2015
Your memories will always live in our hearts
THE END
>>>CLICK FOR TABLE OF CONTENTS<<<
I WAS COLOR BLIND
I could feel my stomach churning and grumble with anxiety as the car came closer to the campus. I was not prepared nor was I up for this. Law school was not my cup of tea. I had spent 2 years in high school, studying law as an optional subject and I still couldn’t decipher basic concepts. 2 years and I still didn’t know who or what a plaintiff was! It’s not like I was dumb or anything, it’s just that I never had the heart or the mind for law. I was always a free spirited person, I liked dancing, art and everything which was pointless and had zero scopes for a career.
My dad, on the other hand, owned the largest law firm in the entire state. People came to us from other states to beg my dad to take up their cases. His life was like an episode of “Suits”! He was the primary and, honestly, the sole reason why I had to enroll into law school. It was mostly forceful, but I for once wanted to make him feel proud of me as Kenny had already let him down. Kenny, my older brother, wreaked havoc within our family when he brought home a spiral binding copy of his first approved play script. Dad was so upset; I thought he would smack him with the script. But my dad is a calm and composed man; I guess years of waiting for court dates build patience in one. He kindly asked Kenny to choose what made him happy: the choice was obviously between his family and all the luxuries that he was blessed with or the broke and insecure life of a play writer. Kenny was courageous enough to choose the life of a bankrupt heir to the Benedict family. But I wanted to do something which made him happy because that’s what daughters do.
I believed taking up law would help me repay the years of hard work dad had done for me and our family. All credit goes to him for the life of royalty we had spent, even during years of recession. Too much my dismay, I was completely wrong and a fool to do this and I realized it as we approached closer to my campus. The car pulled to a halt. My driver, suited up in a uniform, got out of the car, pulled out my luggage from the trunk and escorted me out of the car.
“Here you go Miss Benedict, your luggage, and your laptop. Do you wish for me to carry it to your dorm?” He said in a polite tone.
I gave him a smile “No thanks Doug, I can do this”
I was fibbing of course. I was freaking out on the inside. I gently pulled my bags from his hand and started walking towards my dorm. I had never spent even a day away from home and this was like 3 years of solitary confinement. Dad had asked me to do internships during the holidays and not waste my time at home. That was kind of a smart way to tell your child to stay from them, but I couldn’t complain. I entered the red brick building and looked hastily for the reception or someone to usher me to my room if they had that sort of service around here. And soon I realized that I was not supposed to be here. This was the…
“Lady, what are you doing in the men’s dormitory?” A shrill voice called me from behind.
“Err. I think I am lost sir” I turned around to find a pair of eyes piercing through the glass of the spectacles, staring at me.
“I meant to go to the girl’s dorm. I guess I have got the buildings mixed up!”
“Are you a freshman?”
“Yes, sir. Could you be kind enough to tell me where the building I’m looking for is?”
“Oh no no,” He said, nodding his head. “It’s very far from here dear. You’ll have to walk for almost 10 minutes and with that amount of luggage, it’ll take you an hour at minimum”
I could sense the sarcasm in his tone. He signed to someone behind me and I felt a rush of air brush my left arm.
“Smith, walk her to the girl’s dormitory and help her with her luggage. I expect you to be back in 20 minutes!” and he vanished into the swarm of men as soon as he was done talking.
“Hey, I am Connor Smith, sophomore year,” said the man next to me.
I turned to him, only to find a tall, dark, handsome man staring back at me. He was an African American, with a face of an angel. If he was up on a poster, or on the billboards, I was sure to check him out.
“Ma’am?”
“Oh yes! I’m Mia Benedict. Freshman. Could you please help me with this? “I said, struggling with my clan of branded bags.
“Smith, reporting for duty Ma’am,” he said in a funny tone while grabbing my bags.
I was glad to be in my room now, away from the hustle and bustle of the freshman’s across the dorm hallway. I crashed into bed as soon as I got the chance when I realized that I might not have thanked Smith. I rushed back to the door, with my aching heels, but he was gone. I was too tired to care anymore and so I just went back to bed.
The first month of law school was hectic and emotionally crippling. I had failed on two consecutive tests and my roommate was a total pain. She spent most of her time talking about the guys she found to be cute, in class or in general and kept on pestering me with questions regarding my love life.
“I don’t have one!”
I snapped at her.
“I don’t have a boyfriend and I’ve never had one before as well. I’m a happy single girl who is trying to make through law school so I can make my daddy proud. I’d rather be miserable and rich than waste my time being swooned by jerks that don’t even care about my existence.”
I snapped at her again. She retreated with a puzzled expression on her face like I was teaching medicine in gibberish, but I didn’t really care. What I had said was true and sad. I’d rather be alone but rich than waste my time shuffling relationships and waste the most important years of my life.
“Love can wait”
I often reassured myself. My studies, on the other and more realistic end, could not. I spent my nights studying, trying to improve the pathetic grades I got in the first semester and it still sucked. I was glad those days were over when they called up your parents
if you scored badly on a test. Second semester and things still sucked bad for me and my grades. I was starting to lose hope and planned on dropping out of law school already.
3rd test in the second semester and I got another D! I was sick of getting C’s and D’s. I craved for a; a B- was acceptable as well, but anything above C! My instructor asked me to meet her after class and I could imagine her saying:
“I’m calling your parents!”
I gained up the courage to go to her office and waited anxiously for her to open the door. The door swung open and I saw a familiar face. It was the same guy who had helped me with my luggage on the first day. He smiled at me and I smiled back. And I suddenly realized that I had an apology to make and an effort to acknowledge, but my thoughts were caught off guard when my instructor called me in.
“Sit down Miss Benedict.”
I gathered my ruffled dress and seated in the chair next to the luggage guy. I couldn’t seem to recollect his name.
“I have been teaching you since the past 6 months. This is the second semester and I see no improvement in your grade, any grade for that matter”
Oh God! No! Please don’t discuss my grades in front of him. I can’t bear this social humiliation in front of him, I thought to myself.
I cleared my throat.
“But Miss Steves, I’m working really hard…”
“Yes, you’re working hard and it shows. At least you managed to move up a notch from a D to a C”
The guy looked at me with a look of acknowledgment and appreciation. I just shied away; this humiliation was too much to bear.
“As a favor to your father...”
I thought about what connection dad had with any of this.
“I’m allotting you some help. This is purely a favor for your father and we do not do this often at the campus. In this school, you are solely responsible for your grade but I’m making exceptions for you. This is Connor Smith, an excellent student. He has been on the Dean’s honor list since the last 4 semesters and has a 3 quarter scholarship. He’ll be tutoring you from now onwards, after class that is. You two may mutually decide a schedule which suits each one of you and I expect to see an improvement in your grade after this.”
So that was his name, Connor. It was such a common name; I was surprised how I had managed to forget it. We left the office, with a hint of embarrassment on my face.
“Hey! Come on! Don’t take this too seriously. At least you made it to this semester. Most of my friends ditched law school after their first semester. Cheer up! I’ll help you out, we just need to work out on a schedule. Take my number and let me know by tonight the hours which suit you best and we can make changes to that”
He patted my shoulder and walked off. So he wasn’t just cute, handsome and smart but was a total sweetheart and an extremely down to earth guy. I praised God’s generosity whenever I came across such guys, but this one made me want to become a nun (hypothetically). SO we were done with making the study routine and were down to business within a week already. We spent the entire semester studying defense in the diner next to our campus and showing off our origami skills to each other. The semester flew by so quickly, I didn’t even realize that we had spent two whole months together. I was really fond of Conner now and I used to wait for his texts for our study dates. They were mostly dates in my head and just an execution of his responsibility for him, but I still liked the rush that came with the plans of meeting him.
Finals were creeping in closer and I was freaking about how to write the rationale in a case brief. I could see Connor’s beautiful hazel eyes skimming through my paper as he went through my brief and for a moment I wished for him to skim me like that. My daydreaming was snapped back to reality by a high pitched greeting from behind our counter. I saw an African American girl waving her purse towards Connor. Her face was slathered with makeup and her dressing did not describe the word “graceful”. She strolled towards us and hugged Connor from across the table, her hair was on my face. I pushed it aside only to find her kissing him. I felt my face go hot and cold but held the urge to snap at her.
Connor, gently, pushed her away.
“Sasha! What are you doing here?” He asked her, a hint of embarrassment across his face.
“I came here to see you, baby! I was missing you! No calls, no texts! And you’re seeing other girls? Come on baby, let’s put the past behind us”
She kissed him, forcefully, again and I got up from the table.
“Excuse me,” I said.
“No, wait. Mia!”
I rushed out of the diner and touched my face. My face was ablaze with anger. I failed to understand what was happening. Sure I found Connor to be cute and all but it was nothing serious. I was confused about my emotions and current condition.
“Mia!”
I turned around and saw Connor running towards me with our reading material.
“Let's go somewhere else please.”
“I’d like that.”
“She’s crazy! We were together for 6 months and I found her cheating on me with my roommate. I flipped Mia! I honestly did. I broke his teeth, smashed his laptop against the wall along with Sasha’s new I-Phone. You should have seen the look on their faces. But I’ve moved on. I don’t feel for her, but she does ever since he dumped her for some white chick. She’s been running around, picking her hair, trying to get me back. But I’m a goner. Once the damage is done, it’s done. You’d be stupid trying to fix or hide the cracks in a broken glass Mia.”
So he was recovering from his break up when I had first met him. When I had seen him for the first time, I never could have even thought about the pain he was growing through and I looked at him now. He said strong and deep words but his face was blank like he was lost on the inside. I put my hand on his cheek and ran my fingers through his hair with the other hand.
“You know, you can always make broken glasses look like a master piece with the help of a few flowers and decorations. Makes it worth a million dollars.”
He looked puzzled.
“Nobody wants a broken glass, Mia.” He said, the sadness taking over his masculine voice.
“I do.”
And I freaked on the inside, instantly regretting my words as he shot me a look of confusion. He walked me back to the dorm, the entire journey was quiet and awkward. I was too embarrassed to say anything after my master blunder at the bar. Soon we were outside the building and Connor handed me out his books.
“How can you be so sure about wanting a broken piece of glass Mia?”
I stopped dead in my tracks. Was he really asking me why I wanted him? Was he that dumb to not realize how perfect he was? I turned to face him.
“A broken glass is worthless and garbage. You throw such stuff away and not stash it in a museum for display. It’s not worth a million dollars like you said. Something like you, with you perfect hair, beautiful skin, wealthy family, is worth something. Not me. I am worthless and all I deserve is girls like Sasha.”
He was breaking into an avalanche of self-defilement and I couldn’t bear that. I threw my books on the parchment of plants next to me and pulled him closer.
“You’re smart, intelligent, kind, and man your eyes. They are hazel! You’re so perfect! You don’t need cheating craps like Sasha or roommate to define your worth. Ask me, Connor. Ask me about your worth. I’ve been swooned since the day I saw you and all you did was pick up my bags. The last two months have been a constant reminder of what a miracle you are. Hell! I thought God stopped making guys like you.”
I was in the zone. I couldn’t shut up.
“Your warm skin feels so perfect in my palms right now. Your hazel eyes glistening like a glass on the sea shore. You’re perfect Connor; Worth more than just big numbers. You’re worth someone’s heart! I am no beauty pageant winner but never in my life have I looked at someone the way I look at you.”
I could feel my nail piercing his skin.
“My heart is like an unused air tight ja
r!”
What a dumb example, I thought to myself.
“I have never been in love and never did I wish to be. But you forced me to fall for you. Fall for you every day, harder than the previous one. I believe you’re worth my heart.”
And I was finished. He was staring at me blankly like I had just spoken my heart out in a completely different language. It was awkward.
The next day, I woke up thanks to the sun shining bright on my face as I had forgotten to pull the curtains together. I pulled myself out of the bed, hung my legs from its side and looked at Connor lying next to me. Thoughts began to race through my mind.
“Was it a one-time thing? Did he think I was some trashy girl who he could roll in bed with?”
My mind was racing with thoughts I could no longer handle. I nudged him awake.
“Err... Sor... Sorry about that. I just needed to talk and clear out some stuff.”
He rubbed his eyes and brushed his hair with his fingers.
“Mhm?”
“Connor, whatever happened last night… I would like to clarify that I don’t usually do this. You’re the first guy I have ever expressed my feelings for. You’re the first guy I have ever had feelings for. Connor, this is a big, big deal for me! It’s not a joke. I don’t want to be talked about like the way you talked about Sasha the other night. I’m not like her and….”
He pulled me closer and hugged. I fit perfectly into his arms and the embrace felt so warm and comforting. At that moment, I knew that it wasn’t a one-time deal, for none of us. I let him hug me. It felt like everything was falling into place: why I came to law school finally had a meaning; why I never scored well at law; everything was starting to fall into place.
The next 3 years flew by so quickly, I could hardly decipher anything. I was scoring well, my love life was enviable, and Connor was working for this really big law firm. He passed out a year before me and was already working. We used to meet every weekend. He used to be suited in all these expensive looking suits and every time I fell more in love with him. He was gaining so much but was humble as ever. His hugs were still warm and loving and there was no man I wanted to be other than him.
A Bride Worth Billions Page 25