The Accidental Archmage

by Edmund A. M. Batara

  “Let’s get away from this place! There’s too many of them! Hurry, while my spells prevent them from moving. That block won’t last forever!” he shouted.

  “What direction, sire?” asked Habrok. A series of loud explosions sounded in the background as Tyler’s creations exploded.

  “As long as it’s towards the Void Lands!” answered the mage. “But keep the group compact, or they will be able to pick us off when they get free. And there’s no sense getting separated in the darkness.”

  Habrok quickly led the way, the party adopted their usual march order but with considerably lessened distance from each other. Their pace was more of a jog, which in turn conserved their strength.

  “Sorry, sire,” Tyndur finally spoke up. “I didn’t think it was just sleeping.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Tyndur. Nobody could have expected that result,” replied Tyler. But you had to be nosy in a bone graveyard!

  They were already about a hundred feet away when a detonation reached their ears.

  There goes my shield. I wonder how those bones were able to remove it? Or get it to explode? I just hope it crushed some, thought the mage.

  Tyler looked back. Though skeletal forms, the drakes clearly retained their power of flight. Whatever energy or magic animated them didn’t forget that ability.

  “Incoming!” the young mage shouted as he saw the flying horde turn in their direction. In the last rays of daylight, the group stood out in the barren landscape. Not to mention they were the only ones moving near the nest.

  Too many of them. Only could be dispatched with a crushed head. With the power to fly. Freaking hard bones. Fanged and horned bones. We’re screwed, thought the mage. He suddenly saw the shimmering glow of a shield around them. Asem was quick to cast her protective spell.

  Let’s try this card, considered the mage as he remembered a useful spell which had served well in a few harrowing instances. We won’t be able to outrun them, much less fight them off in these conditions.

  “Gather around me!” Tyler cried out. Then he cast the invisibility spell. It was stronger now, and he prayed their bony pursuers could not see through the cover it provided. The party had to stop while concealed by the spell. The mage didn’t want the risk of somebody accidentally going past its coverage and exposing everybody to the mass of skeletal predators.

  Unfortunately, staying still, even under the concealing spell, also gave them the grand view of the horde closing in on their location.

  Now, the moment of truth, Tyler told himself as the first flying skeletons reached them. Even in the fading light, he could see them as they arrived. As they circled above the group, the mage breathed a sigh of relief. If the skeletal drakes could see them, they would have pounced on the party as soon as the bony forms reached their location. Some drakes veered off and flew in other directions.

  Looking for us, he concluded.

  He didn’t need to tell his companions to keep quiet, they knew what to do. The party lay hidden for the better part of an hour, with Tyler maintaining the energy which sustained the spell.

  Finally, their hunters flew back to the nest. Tyler’s gamble paid off.

  “Thank God,” he murmured as the last drake disappeared. Asem heard him, looked at him briefly, but didn’t say anything.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  A Surfeit of Rogues

  After the near-fatal encounter with the skeletal drakes, the party continued with its journey. Asem suggested that the land’s highly unusual mix of different energies must be responsible for the rise of strange life forms. The priestess reiterated that most must be like that nest of bony creatures – she could not sense any corruption in them, and they acted like normal territorial beasts. Habrok agreed. He had seen unidentifiable animals while on point. Some were in herds, while others behaved like predators, but they were unlike any he had ever seen.

  Tyler nodded. That would account for the crisscross manner of their travel. The ranger avoided running into the strange beasts. Two days had already passed and no unhappy encounters, thought the mage. Quite a feat. I have to thank Habrok. Though I notice the mountains of our destination are closer, and the freakish formation now looks like a mouth with fangs. Two long tapered massifs at both ends of a series of jagged hills. I hope that’s not a sign.

  On the mid-morning of the fourth day, the group was making its way along a collection of rocky crags when Asem called for a halt.

  “What is it, priestess?” queried Tyndur, preempting the mage’s question.

  “I sense corruption. It is awake and angry.”

  “Hungry?” whispered Tyndur.

  “No, angry. Something had awakened it. But not us. Its attention is directed somewhere else,” Asem replied tersely.

  The group gathered and everyone was looking at Tyler.

  “Let me think. We could bypass it and proceed on our way. But we leave an angry whatever behind us. Unfortunately, it is in a bad mood and hunting whoever or whatever had aroused its anger. There’s a high probability it would find us instead. We’re not that far off from its location,” said Tyler. “Suggestions?”

  “We should at least look at what it is,” suggested Kobu. “From a safe distance, of course. It might be a being which is limited in its movements. I have encountered such location-specific monsters before.”

  “I agree with Kobu. Speed is of the essence in our journey. Avoidance of battles which would delay us is also important. But safety is a primary consideration,” Astrid volunteered.

  “For me, I would like my sleep unbothered by the concern that something might be creeping up on us,” commented Habrok.

  “I agree with them, sire. There will be fighting enough later,” said Tyndur.

  “The matter is settled then. We look at what it is from a safe distance. And no fighting, if we can avoid it,” decided Tyler.

  The party carefully crept where Asem said the disturbance originated. Fortunately, the series of bluffs was filled with small petrified trees, their bare branches and stumps forming curious human caricatures. But it did provide some cover for the party. The priestess took the lead, with the ranger following closely behind. Up they went, almost to the top of the small hill and then veered off to the right, where a series of jutting boulders afforded cover. Tyler took his position beside Asem while the rest, except for Tyndur, followed. The brash einherjar stayed a few feet behind and watched their backs.

  Before the group was a depression, an open field with reddish soil and gravel around a small decaying shrine. The doors of the tomb were open, and a mass of armed and armored skeletal undead was pouring out. The field itself was already filled with their bony brothers and in pursuit of three running figures. Unfortunately, the trio was fleeing in the direction of the hidden party.

  “Humans?” whispered Tyler to Asem.

  “They appear to be humans, sire. I would say rogues. Not to mention grave robbers with peanuts for brains. Who in their right mind would come to these bleak, cursed, and dangerous lands just to steal grave goods?” said Asem with a degree of disbelief.

  A stifled laugh came from Habrok. The ranger had heard what Asem said.

  “I agree. Unfortunately, they’re headed towards us,” said the mage. The three figures had already reached the bottom of the hill and were starting to haul themselves up the mount.

  “Though for a trio of grave robbers they certainly look unusual,” commented Habrok in a low voice.

  Tyler looked closely and saw that the ranger was right.

  One was wearing a mage’s robe but in faded orange, the second was a hulking armored man with a broadsword strapped to his back and a battleaxe in his right hand, and the third, a small man, was wearing leather armor and a short cape, though his twin blades were sheathed. Tyler could hear them arguing. And cursing. Each other.

  “Damn you, Sford! I thought you said these Haug-something DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT leave their haunts!” shouted the small man.

  “That’s what I know, little
man! And that’s what we encountered the last time we were in these parts! How was I to know they’ve learned to walk past their doors! I did take care of their lich-master!” shouted back the orange-garbed fellow. “That’s why my magical reserve is now empty!”

  “Curse that lich and his walking lessons!” answered his companion as he hauled himself up. “I’ll stab his moldy eyes again if I could! But that flaming cage was what I call a spell!”

  Tyler noticed that their large companion, who looked to be of Nordic, stayed behind, making sure his friends go first.

  There must be a history behind that show of camaraderie. Ordinary robbers usually have a ‘to each his own’ attitude when push comes to shove, thought Tyler.

  Then the small man paused in his climbing and looked back. The mass of bony warriors was closing in. The pursuers were slower than their quarry, but they had persistence on their side. And they don’t get tired.

  “By Nergal’s hoary balls! Orm! What are you waiting for? Astarte’s tits? Climb up, you muscle-bound buffoon!” the leather-armored fellow yelled.

  “Just wanted to peek at your hairy backside, Kadir!” came the insulting reply. The warrior was fast and agile for his size. In a few moments, he was already catching up to his companions.

  Tyler could hear the muffled laughter of Habrok and Astrid. Glancing at the priestess, Asem had her head lowered, but the shudder of her body betrayed a losing fight against a laughing fit.

  “Colorful language,” the mage commented.

  “Yes, sire,” answered the priestess through barely suppressed laughter. “And the color of that mage’s robe is absolutely and maddeningly hilarious.”

  While the trio was steadily climbing up the hill face, Tyler saw that their skeletal pursuers had reached the foot of the mound and were also starting to go up.

  At least they’re not rotting undead. Or zombie-like creatures. That would be scary. Not to mention the stench. This lot, viewed from a distance, looks almost comical. Good thing they don’t have archers. Even ancient arrows could kill. Must be because of they’re underground guardians, the mage reflected.

  “Asem, they may be grave robbers, but that bunch of bones is getting close. I had hoped they would be limited to the open area, but apparently not. Even if those three escape, these undead will roam in every direction looking for them,” Tyler advised the priestess.

  “I also thought so, sire. The taint of corruption is rife here. My spell would work,” replied Asem.

  A light golden glow erupted from the priestess. It expanded and hung in the air until it blanketed the entire area. Then it dropped, covering the clearing up to the edges of its borders. As the purifying enchantment touched the horde of skeletal forms on its way to the ground, the undead started exploding, spraying sharp fragments of bone everywhere. The party dropped back a few steps in startled reaction.

  “Your spell did that?” asked Tyler.

  “Yes, but it wasn’t supposed to do that.”

  Then as the glow touched the reddish ground, the group could see large cracks form as the ground fractured. Even the ancient tomb, its small size belying what must a vast underground network of tunnels and caverns underneath, shattered into stone and marble shards as the golden radiance engulfed it.

  As the mage and his companions watched, the unbelievable sight of solid ground roiling like a tumultuous sea unfolded before their eyes. After a few moments, the entire area collapsed into itself, leaving broken and upturned earth behind. It was a stunning spectacle, one that even Asem clearly didn’t expect.

  “Now that was not supposed to happen,” murmured Asem.

  “Heil! Em hotep! Rimaykullayki! Shlama! Khaire! Sulmu!” A series of shouts came from below. It was the voice of the small man.

  “That’s a lot of languages. I don’t even recognize some of the words,” Tyler told Asem as he moved to the edge of the precipice and looked down. The rest of the companions followed, even Tyndur. The three former prey of the now destroyed skeletal horde was already more than halfway up.

  Asem laughed. “They’re taking no chances about us, sire. Though it does show these three have been around.”

  “Hello there,” said Tyler. “Quite hornet’s nest you’ve stirred up.”

  “Occupational hazard,” replied the one called Kadir whose eyes then fell on Astrid.

  “Oh, hello there. Quite a sight for this wonderful, wonderful morning,” Kadir said in a charming voice. Or what he thought was an appealing tone.

  In response, Astrid kicked a large rock down on him.

  “Hey, no need to be murderous!” exclaimed Kadir as he nimbly evaded the small stone.

  Habrok laughed. “Be careful, our Valkyrie here is very, very fast with her twin blades.”

  “A Valkyrie? Right. My apologies. Rest assured that concern for my well-being precludes any further interest in your singular beauty,” cried out Kadir to the accompaniment of the laughter of his friends. He was already near the top.

  Tyler signaled the party to move back. The companions took several steps back, but had their hands on their weapons.

  Finally, the three reached the top. Sford and Kadir were panting, while Orm looked as if he didn’t just flee from a mass of bony warriors out to kill him and then had to scramble up a rocky crag. Tyler gave them a few moments and then started with the inevitable questions.

  “Who are you? And what are you doing here? the mage asked.

  “These are Orm and Sford. I am Kadir,” replied the small rogue. “We are adventurers from the Kingdoms of the Forsaken Edge. Our presence is this far-off land was due to a commission to secure the possession of a particular idol found in that cave.”

  Talks like a businessman, thought Tyler. Smooth talker.

  “Grave robbers, then,” ventured Asem. “And you’re very far from home.”

  The mage among the three saw Asem and bowed his head. “At your service, High Priestess,” he said.

  He recognized Asem? Must not be your ordinary mage, mulled Tyler.

  “Sorry? Grave robbers? No, no, no. I vehemently protest the accusation,” Kadir immediately spoke up, his voice starting to rise until Sford kicked his leg.

  “A High Priestess from Kemet. The High Priestess,” advised Sford.

  “Oh. My apologies, High Priestess. Damn! This must be a day for apologies!” remarked Kadir. Then he visibly took a deep breath. “First, our thanks for the timely rescue. We don’t know if we would have escaped or not, but our utmost gratitude for getting those blasted bones off our backs. But to make matters clear. We are not grave robbers. We are re-acquisition experts. Usually of antiques and similar items. Objects which were hidden from the sight of man. We never do a job such as this one unless it’s on commission! No job too difficult, or pay too high, that’s our business motto.”

  “Well, we had to deal with your pursuers,” said Tyler. “You all were headed right towards us.”

  “No intention to create such an unfortunate and troubling dilemma, I assure you,” said Kadir. As Sford’s gaze fell on Tyler, the latter could see the orange-garbed mage’s eyes widen.

  Exceptionally gifted in the arcane arts, thought Tyler. I don’t look like a mage in this armor. I wonder what he saw?

  “You do understand we have to be sure of who and what you are,” Kobu said calmly. “This is a dangerous land. Mortals rarely venture here and your presence, given the circumstances, warrant clarification.”

  “If you don’t mind, what exactly were you… re-acquiring?” asked Habrok.

  “A damned stone idol. Uglier than Donmar’s donkey twice over! It’s not even gold! Very strict instructions though from our principal – never touch with bare hands and a special pouch to put it in. Not that we are unfamiliar with the procedure. We’ve done a lot of jobs for that old man,” answered Kadir.

  “But that cave-in of the area was unfortunate. I think I saw a room or two filled with yellow objects and chests of sparkling things. Gold and precious stones, I believe. Ugly depictions on th
e statues. Enough to give a lamia nightmares. But they’re gone now. No way anybody could dig through that mess down there,” continued the man who ended with the answer with a longing look down the cliff.

  A collector of clearly powerful items. A dark and sinister object in this instance. That pouch must be powerful enough to shield its emanations from the party. Quite an accomplishment, considering how sensitive the companions are to emanations of energy.

  “There’s no way we could carry those back!” protested Sford. “You know how heavy is gold. Even Azinar’s Spell of Lightening has its limits.”

  “If it’s gold and jewels, there’s always a way,” Kadir smugly replied.

  “What does the old man do with such profane relics?” Tyndur this time.

  “We really have no idea. We just acquire them for him. And come to think of it, all of the items we procured were of a strongly disturbing bent. Sford! Didn’t you notice that aspect of our engagements?” called out Kadir.

  These guys really are something. Surrounded by us. Just escaped death through bony hands. Yet acting as if they’re having a discussion in the middle of a street. Unbelievable. They’ve got balls, I have to give that to them, marveled the mage. They discussed matters among themselves as if we’re not around at all.

  “Hah! The special pouches didn’t arouse your curiosity, Kadir? Admit it, you suspected but like the rest of us, blinded by the pay involved,” answered Sford.

  “Don’t forget the bonuses and special rates,” rumbled Orm.

  “I believe that will do for now,” said Tyler. “We best get moving. The disturbance here might attract unwelcome eyes. Where are you headed?”

  “Due south. Back to collect our pay,” Kadir said. “We’re supposed to be at the edge of the Barren Lands before transportation arrives. But I guess it’s going to be a meandering southern route. There are crazy creatures all the way back.”

  Transportation? That means magical passage. An old man, suspected to be a powerful wizard? Why do I get the feeling I know that old man? thought Tyler. Something’s starting to stink in this whole affair.