The Accidental Archmage

by Edmund A. M. Batara

  Changing tack, the mage turned to the trio.

  “Say, we’re heading west, though in an oblique direction. Considering the immediate concern that we might have attracted attention, why don’t we travel together for a while? For now, we’re going in a southwestern heading anyway,” Tyler offered.

  Kadir looked at his companions. Sford nodded.

  “Agreed! You appear to be a trustworthy lot anyway. You do have the High Priestess in your company. If that’s not endorsement enough, I don’t know what is,” said Kadir.

  “Thank you, I think,” spoke Asem.

  Us? Untrustworthy? We’re not the ones caught red-handed escaping from a tomb after stealing a grave artifact! the mage thought.

  The group hurriedly clambered down the stone bluffs and made their way through another of the petrified forests which dotted the land. March order was the same, with the three newcomers inside the perimeter adopted by the company. Introductions were done in a hurried manner with everybody eager to put some distance between them and the destroyed shrine. After an hour of walking, Tyler positioned himself beside Kadir, the talkative of the trio. He needed more information to come to a conclusion about the identity of the old man.

  “Say, Kadir, just curious about the unnatural obsession of your principal. First time I’ve heard of a mortal making a hobby of gathering such dark and powerful items. And he’s unchanged you say? That would mean he’s not using them or have measures in place to avoid being affected,” asked Tyler. The mage avoided asking the name of the principal lest he give himself away.

  “Nothing much. But I do remember him saying something about keeping it out of greedy and unclean hands. That’s all. The old man is still alive and sane so I figure he knows what he is doing. Unlike that bastard Komos, who left us hanging in a stupidly expensive tavern, surrounded by a crowd of smoky creatures out for a quick bite. We did get out of that mess. Unfortunately, the tavern burned down during the incident. But I never did like the owner. Then after that followed our first job for the old man, in the Laketown ruins near the Dry Salt Lake. That was fun. I don’t understand why the Thieves’ Guild, sorry, the Arm of the Poor Society, prohibited its members from delving into its secrets. I mean, they may be thieves, but still adventurers, aren’t they? And what’s an adventurer’s life without a nasty ghoul and his friends? Or a soulless phantasm from the void? Where’s the excitement in their profession?” asked the loquacious rogue, shaking his head. “What’s this world coming to? People want to be called adventurers, but without the adventure! Throat-slitters afraid of a few skulkers in the dark. Even their northern cousins are no different. I tried inviting some to sewer hunting in Osar, that’s in Skaney by the way, for rumored Alfar relics. But noooooo. On the other hand, our new client does pay very, very well. Though he has this atmosphere about him. Sometimes scary, aloof. But no matter, his gold is real.”

  By later afternoon, the group found a gully. It was out of the wind, had only two entrances and well protected on both sides by rocky overhangs. A perfect place to make camp. But by unspoken agreement, the two groups prepared separate campsites, though within sight of each other.

  Tyler positioned himself closest to the other site. He wanted to know more about the affable, obviously skilled and experienced, yet rascally trio. And their mysterious benefactor.

  “You know, I suspect that fellow Havard is a mage. A secret mage,” Tyler heard Kadir speak out.

  “First time I’ve heard of secret mages, Kadir. You and your theories. Conspiracy here, schemes there, and plots everywhere. Remember the time you insisted that brothel was full of lamias? Now, we’re banned from that delightful place,” said Orm with some disgust. “Not to mention the one about Ymir in league with the Aztecah. The distance, man! They’re on opposite sides of the continent!”

  ‘He is a mage. A powerful one. Though he keeps his abilities hidden. They’re the most dangerous kind of mage. You don’t know their rank and consequently, their spells,” Sford commented.

  “Speaks the unconventional mage. How about you? You did undergo basic training, got bored, and struck out on your own. And that robe! Still haven’t decided to change the color? We did offer to shoulder the cost of three new ones, as long as they’re not orange! We could have gotten by undetected by the inner guardians of that tomb if not for your robe! I swear it glows in the dark!” said Kadir.

  “I did take care of the tomb’s master, if you have forgotten,” replied Sford.

  “Stop it, you two. What matters now is getting back. How long do you think will it take to reach the meeting place?” asked Orm.

  “A week, at most,” replied Kadir. “Though I really can’t tell how that old man is going to bring us back to Iritu.”

  “Magic,” said Sford. “And that kind of magic is rare among mortals. It takes a lot of power, skill, and internal ability. That should put to a close any argument about old man Wilan not being a mage.”

  WILAN?

  Chapter Lore:

  Nergal – A Mesopotamian deity of death, war, disease, and plague. Principally worshipped in Akkad, Sumeria, and Babylonia. One of the translations of the name is an unflattering reference to the male reproductive organ. (SOA, Book I)

  Astarte/Astoreth – An early Semitic goddess worshipped by the Phoenicians, Akkadians, and other ancient peoples. Also known as Ishtar and Asdartu. Hellenized as Astarte, she is known to be a deity of love, sexuality, and surprisingly, war. (SOA, Book I)

  Heil/Em hotep/Rimaykullayki/Shlama/Khaire/Sulmu! – “Hello” in Norse, Egyptian, Quechua, Neo-Aramaic, Greek, and Akkadian.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  An Old Man Named Wilan

  There can’t be two old mages named Wilan in this world, reflected Tyler. His ears were started to burn. The kind of heat which happens when you realize you’ve been had. But the mage kept his irritation in check. Well, there’s got to be an explanation. Then upon a few moments of consideration, the young mage thought of the old mage in his mind and as the image became clearer, inwardly shouted – “Wilan!You’ve got some explaining to do!”

  I don’t know if that worked, he thought. I guess I’ll know soon enough. But we’re quite close to the Void Lands. His limitation might preclude him from coming here.

  As usual, Tyler didn’t have to serve on watch duty. He went straight to sleep, an occurrence which now became a habit during the journey. Tiredness contributed a lot to the adoption of regular sleeping hours. But for a few moments before he closed his eyes, the mage whispered a fervent prayer that everything was fine with Eira. He had no way of knowing what was happening up the north. The additional protection given by Rumpr, Dionysus, and the ancient golden draken went a long way in assuaging any lingering concerns. But from experience, Tyler knew that one could never tell. The tumult which was now engulfing the north and the large-scale open war involving mortals and deities in the south were gnawing at his suspicious nature.

  What were the chances that right after Ymir’s tantrum, such a plague would now infest northern realms and that the Aztecah with their patrons would commence their march to empire? thought Tyler. Something’s rotten. Bigger than the Aztecah and whatever Loki has got boiling in his pot of plots and schemes. I doubt if Loki would be able to get any headway with the patrons of the Aztecah. They seem to be a selfish and egotistical lot. The trickster god would have found himself a sacrifice if he ever tried to deal with the Followers of Zin.

  Thinking of the three powerful figures he met on Fossegrim’s outskirts, the mage often wondered what Rumpr, Dionysus, and Gullen did after they left. Tyler sincerely hoped it doesn’t lead to any major incident or provocation. Pulling the figurative beard of beings like Ymir, Sutr, and other primordial entities would never end well. If not for the pranksters, then for somebody else. No matter, he’ll know about it soon enough.

  And here’s to praying that it doesn’t erupt into that kind of a problem while I am occupied with the Aztecah, hoped the mage as he closed his eyes.

  His d
eep dreamless sleep was abruptly interrupted when Tyler suddenly found himself back at Viracocha’s temple. This again? The deity was sitting on one of the steps in front of the structure.

  “Hello, Havard. What’s new? Heard your call, a bit faint but it got through. How may I be of service?”

  The young mage sat beside Viracocha. “I think you pulled a fast one on me. Again.”

  “Ah. You’ve found those colorful characters already? Good. I trust you saved their sorry behinds.”

  “You knew we were going to run into them.” A statement, not a question.

  “No. I did not expect you to run into them. There existed a very high possibility you would run into those three. There’s a difference between the two statements. You can’t force unwilling mortals, unless they are your followers. The human will is there, blocking the road to undesired actions and decisions. Though the will could be broken, swayed, or deceived. That goes with the territory,” said Viracocha.

  “Still.”

  “Ah. Insulted. Deceived. Furious, perhaps? Deities don’t usually care about giving explanations, but since I am a nice one, I’ll try to clear the confused and suspicious air from around that head,” said the god. “I knew Loki would ask the impossible from you. Don’t ask why or how I know. Unlike me, the trickster still couldn’t wrap his head about mortals having principles of a sort. And I had an idea what his counter-offer would be, so I had a discussion with him – I demanded more than half the distance. You needed every mile you could get. Quite the negotiator, that Norse trickster. Eventually, he agreed, but in the process, got me to throw in what I know of the Terras Barbara, that troublesome wildland bordering the Imperii Romani.”

  “And you knew exactly where to get him to drop us.”

  “Of course. But it was a gamble for me on whether you would run into those rogues. The land is vast enough. And I was worried that if you miss them, the quest would either have a mass of disturbed undead in front or at your back. Not to mention the master lich and its best guards. Add to that the unusual situation in the north allowing these creatures the leeway to go where they’re not wanted or where prevailing magical lore formerly didn’t allow them. It’s a problematic situation. But for now, I don’t have the time to investigate further. Either way, the situation posed a danger – if not an ambush, then of delay. And those three! If you haven’t come along, I believe they would have found a way. Resilience and survivability are characteristics that cling to them like barnacles.”

  “Sorry, Viracocha. I still have that attitude about booby traps in gifts coming from deities,” replied Tyler.

  “You should, lad. Even those coming from me. But at least I try to have both our interests served by any move made by me in the game.”

  “While you’re here, any advice about our road ahead? You seem to have a prophetic bent,” asked Tyler.

  “That I would deny even if that were true. Prophecy. A very dangerous double-edged ability. A gift or a curse, take your pick. Apollo, among the newer deities, was said to have the gift. But ever wonder why it didn’t serve him? Or his pantheon? Or why, if such an ability was indeed his, he wasn’t the head of his pantheon or at least at the side of Zeus instead of Athena?”

  “No. But I guess you’re going to tell me anyway,” drolly replied the young mage.

  “Prophecies mislead. Not only that, only a precious few and powerful deities do have the power to wield it directly. For many with the ability, the gift is one which can only be exercised through human vessels – Apollo and his Oracle of Delphi, not to mention his cursed gift to Kassandra of Troy. Zeus and his Oracle at Dodonna. I’ve also heard of Pan having the gift though I suspect its but drunkenness talking. He does belong to the retinue of Dionysus, and I would have heard more if that goat hybrid had divination powers. But then again, this is Adar. Not everything in the First World is the same in this world.”

  “So, you have the ability!” declared Tyler.

  “You and your dense brain. I just told you I wouldn’t admit it even if I did have the ability!”

  “Just playing with you, Viracocha,” laughed Tyler. “You did get me a few times. What do I now with your employees?”

  “Independent contractors. Let them be. They do have some morals and principles. Skewed ones, but enough to make them trustworthy. They’ve served me well in my many guises. Securing dark artifacts of power is one of my interests. Getting those cursed and disturbing objects out of the clutches of deluded mortals and ambitious entities of spirit. Doing it through mortals avoids the complications of direct involvement on my part. Oh, they can throw nefarious magical obstacles in the path of my seekers. That’s a given. If they find out I’ve sent people after a particular artifact. That’s why I don’t involve myself too much except as a buyer. A war for dark and powerful artifacts is counterproductive for the moment. Probably later when there are fewer distractions.”

  “I do hope you’re not putting yourself up as a new dark god,” joked Tyler.

  “I hope not! And it’s not a joking matter. These remnants and symbols of the powers of the Hidden Ones and their ilk are terrible instruments if they fall into the wrong hands. What more if a deity like me uses them? You’ll have an extremely powerful dark pantheon which would transcend the power and reach of any Hidden One or pantheon hell on this world. Or all of them gathered together. It would be worse than a group of angry Elder ones coming back to pronounce final judgment on a world which might not exist by that time. Or a mad First Mage with their additional power.”

  The last sentence was uttered with Viracocha staring at Tyler directly.

  “Or a new dark god lording it over everybody else?”

  “That, my dear First Mage, would definitely invite the unhappy involvement of those who came before, and not in a good way.”

  “Not in a good way, huh? I guess that removes both of us from the list of would-be rulers of this world?” commented the young mage.

  “It’s a temptation which mortals and deities alike would have to face on their own,” replied the deity. “Lust for power had always been a bane of both worlds since the beginning of time. The curse of pantheons and empires.”

  “It still is, Viracocha. I doubt if that fact would change,” observed the young mage. In his mind was the story of how even Elders fell into that trap.

  “If there no other questions, my boy, I have to get going. The war is still going on, and desperation marks the Aztecah now. I hate to have the First Mage, or as Dionysus would say – the Protos Magos – continue on his quest with such suspicions and reservations.”

  “None, old man. Though you could have warned me about those skeletal drakes.” Here I am, calling a formidable deity “old man.”

  “Ah, remnants of those who lived in that land. I know of those drakes. They’ve got nests all over the region. The power that destroyed the land killed off many, changed some into new forms, others into mockeries of life. The energy matrix which did all those things still eludes me. A good thing because if I can decipher its secret, then others will also be able to unlock the mystery. The overflow of strange power from the Void Lands do not make things easier. But it is certain that such energies contributed to the bizarre mix and patterns of energy one observes in the Barren Lands.”

  “I admit we ran into them while deviating from our course, looking for water,” confessed Tyler.

  “I do know of an obstacle you have to cross when you finally reach the edge of the Barren Lands. But as I always say, you’ll find a way.”

  “Please don’t say it’s live, hungry, and huge dragons.”

  “Nothing of that kind. Just a sea of undead. A different kind unique to the Barren Lands. One which I suspect Adar inflicted on the former inhabitants of that lost realm by way of punishment. Lore does support my suspicion. An assumption, mind you, not a certainty. But the otherworldly energies from the Void Lands seem to have affected their nature,” said the deity as he disappeared.

  A sea of undead? I can’t even begin to
imagine how that would look like. And mutated undead? A sea of the mutated undead! Fuck this! I’ll go with dragons instead! thought Tyler as he woke up. As fear started to rise in his mind again, he forced it down and out of sight as the first rays of the new day greeted him. Damn it. It’s too early to be scared. Or to be worried.

  After the morning meal, the trio of rogues came over. Tyler was now confident about them and their trustworthiness, given Viracocha’s statements. Not that he was going to educate them about their employer’s true nature.

  “I trust you slept well,” greeted Tyler, offering them a place among the eating companions.

  “Our thanks, Havard,” said Kadir. “Though we have eaten our morning meal. As to sleep, well, a good night’s rest is impossible. The ideal dreamland is elusive when there’s a repulsively ugly idol in one’s belongings. Nightmares galore, I should say. Good thing dreams fade away upon waking up.”

  “Speak for yourself,” said Orm. “It takes me a day or two to forget those horrid dreams.”

  “What did you expect? Feasting among nymphs? We have a dark and clearly evil stone artifact with us. Remember, we still have several days of those nightmares to endure,” added Sford.

  “Can’t we bury it somewhere at night, say a mile or two from us, and then come back for it in the morning?” asked Kadir hopefully.

  “We had this discussion before, Kadir. And the answer is again ‘no.’ Too risky and too dangerous. Even left in its pouch. We can’t leave anything to chance. For all you know, it can move in our absence and get out of its confinement. Guess who’s going to be its prey once it gets out?” asked Sford.

  “I was going to say – hopefully, our employer – but that’s too improbable,” answered Kadir.

  “After all the commissions and the nice shiny gold pieces, I thought you two had been inured by now to such experiences,” commented Sford. Kadir ignored his companion’s observation and instead gave a suggestion.