The Accidental Archmage

by Edmund A. M. Batara

  “I know! Sford! Can you conjure up a spell to make it a dream of flashy delights? My gratitude would know no bounds! And your drinks will be forever free, courtesy of yours truly… and Orm!”

  “Leave me out of it, Kadir,” Orm said.

  There they go again. Talking and arguing as if nobody was around, thought Tyler as he listened to Sford explaining why Kadir’s request was an impossible one. Something to do with natural and powerful dark emanations. Too theoretical and a lot of arcane terms for Tyler to understand.

  Tyler gave them a few more minutes and then spoke up.

  “What’s your plan for today? He loudly asked the trio, breaking up what was starting to be an argument about magical theory. From what he heard, Kadir apparently also fancied himself to be a student of magic.

  “Oh. We came over to say our goodbyes and thanks,” said Kadir. “Before I was distracted by my friend’s specious arguments.”

  Sford looked up at the sky, rolling his eyes.

  “Our gratitude,” repeated Orm. “We won’t forget what you did for us.”

  Sford stepped up and gave Asem a slight bow.

  “My sentiments too. And it was an honor meeting you, High Priestess,” Sford echoed. The orange-garbed mage turned to the company. “Our thanks and may you fare well on your journey.”

  He strode to Tyler and also gave a slight bow.

  “An honor to meet you, High Mage. I only wish we had more time to talk.”

  At Sford’s mention of the “High Mage” title, Tyler noticed Kadir’s eyebrows rose. Orm just gave a slight nod in his direction.

  As the three left, the wind brought back snippets of what the rogues were discussing. Kadir’s voice dominated.

  “You should have told me he was a High Mage, Sford. I have a lot of questions about my magical theories. You don’t get to meet a High Mage often! And without being surrounded by those smelly, lanky, and arrogant lower mages!”

  “And risk getting him irritated by your crackpot ideas? No way!” Tyler heard Sford reply.

  “You’re just jealous. My ideas are revolutionary! I bet he would be impressed enough to make me an apprentice mage! Imagine! Me! A rogue-mage. Or a mage-rogue. Whatever. But a unique mage. A repository of new ideas. An unselfish cornucopia of concepts world-changing in their implications! Though I’ll still stick with my twin swords. But they’ll be magic blades!”

  “Or he’ll turn you to a worm. A noisy, bothersome worm.” It was Orm’s voice.

  “There’s that possibility.” Tyler heard Kadir agree.

  Thank you, Sford! The young mage thought. He shuddered at the idea of Kadir following him, nagging him with inane questions.

  The party’s journey continued. It spoke highly of Habrok’s skill that they didn’t run into any of the misshapen creatures they could see in the distance. The ranger even took extra effort in ensuring that the party remained downwind of any beasts within a few miles. Dry rations were the rule of the road. Campfires were avoided. Tyler did have to let H go on another water-hunting expedition, but with clear and limited parameters. Fortunately, H found a hidden spring not far away. Tyler was making sure water would not be an issue the closer they get to their destination.

  A few hours after the dawn of the seventh day, the mountains of their destination loomed before them. They had finally reached the first benchmark of their journey. They now had to veer right where a small valley led to a gap granting access to the beginnings of the Void Lands. Then a strong energy pattern should be noticed either by him or Asem, the most sensitive to such power among the group.

  They moved across open ground, broken at certain spots by massive boulders and huge rocks created by the destruction of some of the mountains around them. This close to the “fangs” as the group learned to call the landmarks, it was evident that long ago, before them once stood a series of tall mountains. Cataclysmic forces had destroyed the heights between the two remaining protruding natural landmarks. What was left were nubs, jagged stumps of what were once massive, majestic peaks.

  As the party approached the mouth of the valley, Tyler called for a halt, looking for a vantage point which would enable him to inspect the area they were going to enter. He saw a small overhang on the side of the mountain, not too high and accessible through minimal climbing. It didn’t look too difficult, some tight spots, twenty minutes, and they’d be up there. The mage pointed out the elevated overhang to the party. It was on the side of the rightmost “fang.”

  “Sire, an ideal location. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t be concerned, but I noticed the soil around here is chalky,” remarked Habrok. The ranger stooped and grabbed a clump of soil. He crushed it with his hand. The dark lump crumbled like sand.

  Tyler looked at Habrok’s hand.

  “That’s a problem. What do you think of the space I picked out,” asked the mage.

  “The soil is loose here in the open, with fine composition. But the mountainside has rocks and boulders, the ground there might not be as flaky,” advised Habrok.

  “Lead the way and get us the best route. We need to see what’s in that valley,” said Tyler. He had the “sea of undead” Viracocha warned him to worry about though he had already advised the companions on the danger.

  Habrok led the way, checking large boulders for their solidity, and made a point of building a route with stable areas as his baselines. Slowly, the party made it up the side of the massif. Finally, Tyler, who was following behind the ranger, reached the small open space. As the rest filed in, it proved to be a cramped but ideal place. Not too high or too low. Immediately below them was the start of a sloping incline which led down to the mouth of the valley.

  The mage found he now could see the entirety of the small hollow. It was shrouded by morning mists which have not yet evaporated with the coming of the morning sun. The tall peaks still cast their long shadows across the silent valley, creating a ripple image of wide dark and grey streaks across the landscape. The floor of the depression was filled with large boulders, their undulating forms close to each other, enough to promise that traversing the ground would be a tiring exercise. Tyler looked at the scene carefully, trying to plan out their route through the mass of blocking rocks.

  Then one of the shapes moved.

  Chapter Lore:

  The Oracle at Dephi – An ancient Greek religious closely identified with Apollo, famous for its auguries in legend and myth. In Greek mythology, the power of divination is identified with Zeus but Apollo is also considered to have the power to see the future. In this sense, Apollo is sometimes referred to as the Greek god of fate, or Apollo Moiragetes.

  The Oracle at Dodonna – Though less famous than the Oracles at Delphi, the Oracle at Dodonna was an older religious structure and identified with Zeus. the practice of divination appeared to be performed at the site even before the construction of the temple.

  Pan – Greek. A minor Greek flute-playing deity of nature and to some degree, sex. His worship was claimed to originate in Arcadia, a mountainous region. He is believed to have been taught divination by Apollo. The well-known myth about Pan and his ability to create “panic” actually arose from his shouts when disturbed during his naps.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Magical Fail

  Tyler looked closely, surprised at what he saw. He carefully examined the field, intrigued by the mistake in observation. Teaches you right, dumbass. Should have remembered that on this world, nothing is what it seems, he reprimanded himself. If he didn’t notice that slight movement, the young mage would have continued to think of the valley terrain as merely an area filled with large boulders. On closer inspection of the valley, Tyler discovered that the entire canyon floor was full of barely moving bodies. The shadows thrown by the overlooking crags made it difficult to notice anything unusual.

  Suddenly, the sun broke through the dim light of the hollow, showing the entire repulsive color of the ground – a slimy, bluish-grey wave, slightly undulating. The bare skin of the bodies spread out befo
re the mage’s eyes hugged tall, extremely emaciated humanoid frames. A sea of creatures filled the valley shoulder-to-shoulder, and all were facing towards the Void Lands.

  “Odin’s mercy! What are those?” whispered Habrok.

  “Myth come to life,” said Asem in a murmur. “A punishment beyond the will of the gods of this world.”

  “Impressive knowledge of lore, High Priestess,” said Tyndur in an uncharacteristic low voice. “I’ve heard of these creatures, but words don’t do justice to reality. I have forgotten what they’re called, but it’s something along the lines of hungry spirits.”

  “Hungry for the likes of us?” a hushed Habrok asked.

  “Not really, according to lore. If these beings were being punished, they could be jikininki. Restless spirits who are cursed with a hunger for human corpses, but they don’t look like those creatures of legend. Jikininki usually take on human guises and feed while in spirit form. These are solid, or material, creatures. They look more like stick parodies of humans. They could be gaki. Departed souls guilty of such heinous deeds that they are condemned to take barely human forms and hunger for something which can never be stated nor satisfied. Or for something totally repugnant,” said Kobu.

  “Repugnant? Like what?” asked Astrid.

  “Like feces or urine,” replied Kobu.

  “Eewww. A fate worse than death,” said Habrok. Astrid’s extremely disgusted reaction was written on her face.

  “Now, I remember,” Tyndur spoke up. “Starving ghosts. They’re called ‘egui’ in the Zhong Empire.”

  “Now we know what manner of creature they possibly could be. The questions are – are they a threat and what are we going to do about it?” asked Tyler.

  “If we weren’t in the Barren Lands and I had not seen the strange energy patterns flowing around here, I would have said they’re harmless. Accursed, yes. More to be pitied. But after seeing those skeletal drakes, I am not so sure anymore,” said Asem. “Though these egui, gaki, or preta, as known in other cultures, were supposed to retain some vestiges of their human memories as part of their punishment, I am not also sure if that part of the lore holds true in this instance.”

  “Normally, we do not consider these creatures as corrupted evil creatures. They were supposed to be in a state of punishment in this material plane. But there is something strange in the aura they exude. Hunger, confused anger, and hatred of living things echo through the ether. I fear the myriad and bizarre energies had changed their very nature. To what, I am not sure,” warned Asem.

  A sea of undead, thought Tyler. Shit. If Viracocha said zombies, at least I would know what to expect. The old man did say something about changes in the nature of the creatures of this land. Even the mighty Viracocha was at a loss. Why can’t I be an overpowered son of a bitch in this world? There are enough games and stories of freaking OP protagonists! I could wade in with a nasty haircut and wield a humongous magic sword, slashing my way to victory! Or be a super-mage, with powers beyond imagination. And the knowledge to effectively use them. Don’t forget that part, man! Then the young mage caught himself. Damn it.

  The young mage looked at the teeming, barely moving mass. And no spells involving the ground or natural formations. No clue as to their weakness, though I guess cutting off the head would work. It helped deal with the Lesser Yahui problem.

  Then the rocky overhang suddenly gave way.

  The falling slab hit the incline beneath them and broke to pieces. Fortunately, it helped the party withstand the impact of falling twenty feet. The sudden disaster brought into fore the finely-honed reflexes and experienced nature of Tyler’s companions. To a person, no one was unmanned by the disaster. Each displayed their own way of coping with the unexpected event. Kobu and Tyndur instantly teleported to the waiting slope below, watchful for any need for their help. Astrid blurred, her speed enabling her to step from one crashing piece of the gravity-challenged platform to another, and finally landing below, a safe distance from the debris. Asem, in turn, exhibited her nimble form and agility. While not as impressively fast as the Valkyrie, the result was the same – a safe landing. Habrok’s reflexes carried him from one falling piece to another, jumping to the cliff face at times, and he dropped to the sloping incline with bow in hand, ready for any eventuality.

  Tyler, in contrast, found himself rolling down the slope, his downwards momentum only stopped when he hit a large rock jutting out of the ground. The shields helped absorb the impact of falling and rolling down, but his magical protection couldn’t help him deal with the ensuing shock and dizziness. He shakily stood up and looked for his companions. Tyler found he was the only one still unready. The rest of the party were already standing, with weapons out, looking at the valley. The mage had fallen on the reverse side of the slope, away from the mass of still eerily quiet creatures, and now he ran to where the companions were standing. The crash of the fall had attracted the silent sea of undead.

  The young cursed as he quickly moved to join his companions. You could have teleported, he thought. Then a sudden realization doused cold water on what he thought he should have done. If you had their reflexes and a decent mastery of the ability. I could have found myself buried instead. Freaking amateur. As Tyler reached the top of the rise, he saw the horde was looking at them. They did look like revenants. Thinner than the usual depiction, but with a unique bluish glow lighting hollow eye sockets and gaping mouths.

  Oh, shit. Christmas horror decorations, thought Tyler. Amidst the gloom of the valley, with only parts of it warmed by the awakened sun, the sea of bluish flickers incongruously struck him as a bizarrely holiday scene. If only there weren’t such frighteningly strange monsters of unknown abilities behind the eerie scene.

  “They haven’t made a move in our direction yet, sire,” said Habrok.

  “We’re a strange and unfamiliar sight to them. It won’t be long now,” Tyndur advised.

  “I feel an intense curiosity directed at us. It must be ages since they last saw mortals. Slow of wit, I assume, but sooner or later, they will be reminded of what we are. Then we’ll know what they think of the living,” warned Asem. “And with our magical abilities severely limited, do we make a run for it?”

  “Going forward is towards the maw of the beast, retreating means being flooded with an undead sea,” observed Tyler. “And the way to our destination goes through them.”

  As if the teeming mass of undead heard him, a simultaneous moan from thousands of throats suddenly punched through the air. An incredible mix of anger and enormous suffering all rolled into one. The eerie groan resounded from one end of the valley to the other, tearing the air apart with the weight of pain and suffering it carried. Worse, the ungodly wail echoed as it reverberated through the canyon, lending it a decidedly eldritch air.

  The companions looked at Tyler. The mage was staring at the moaning mass. Creatures had started to move towards them. Tyler stood still, his mind racing between trying to find an appropriate spell, a surge of unreasonable panic, and the real possibility of all of them being torn apart by the oncoming horde. Tyler could see groups of creatures break away from the pack and lead the undead wave. His mind adamantly refused to function. Muscles froze. Then like an avalanche of profane flesh preceded by the movement of a few of the pack, the whole mass surged towards them, its leading greeters already about a hundred feet ahead of the incoming wave.

  The companions had adopted their protective formation, but with the melee fighters moving further forward. A few of the leading attackers had already been dispatched by Habrok’s arrows, all with shots to the head. Part of Tyler’s mind sighed with relief seeing the rolling bodies of the ranger’s targets, carried forward by the momentum of their charge.

  Damn. These things are fast. But killable. That’s a positive sign, Tyler thought. Seeing his companions in actual combat shocked him back to reality. The mage immediately cast a chain lightning spell at the attacking wave, hoping to stem the deadly flood. The image of a moving forest of
open mouths and eyes filled with a bright azure glow frightened him to the depths of his soul. He still had no idea what the creatures were lusting after. Asem’s comment about anger could easily be hatred. And their original punishment of unfulfilled hunger might have changed to one which could be sated. Given the reaction of the horde to their presence, it looked like they were on the menu.

  The spell crackled through the massed ranks of slimy bodies and the coruscation flashed through spindly limbs and skull-like faces. Those in the front dropped, were trampled by the following rows, then stood up and continued their charge. Some were missing extremities, burned off or cut off by the deadly magical attack, yet it didn’t bother them. The young mage noticed the heads were unaffected.

  Shit. That blue energy must be protecting the skull against magical spells, thought Tyler as a deluge of slicing forms flew forward at neck level. His companions were still busy dealing with those arriving ahead of the main wave. And those early arrivals numbered in the hundreds. Then the young mage noticed a discouraging sight as the magical blades reached the creatures. Only those which struck at neck level and below had any effect. Those that hit the cranial area merely dissolved.

  No shit. Tyler was dumbstruck. Weapons kill them, yet magical spells don’t? We’re so up shit creek. Again.

  The thoroughly dismayed mage watched as the leading groups of creatures engulfed his companions positioned below him. In their revolting eagerness to get at the warm-blooded mortals, Tyler could see some of the undead stumbling and being trampled underfoot by their excited brethren. Those who came later to the ongoing melee jumped over the heads of those crowding the warriors and the priestess. Others clambered over their similarly eager friends.

  Tyndur and Asem found themselves back to back, right in the middle of a large cluster of hungry, slavering undead. A crowd which was steadily increasing in number as more and more arrived. Astrid fought alone, her speed and style of fighting demanded a lot of space. But she was all over the place, her precise blows either decapitating an attacker or severely disabling it, making its movements slow and easily evaded. Kobu and Habrok fought like the priestess and the einherjar, their backs to each other. The ranger had joined the melee fighting when he saw Kobu struggling alone. Though compared to the exile who fought with a long polearm which looked like a sword stuck on a spear shaft, Habrok merely had his longsword and a thin dirk of extended length. Tyler already had his staff on spear mode while throwing sharp axe head forms at those quickly approaching his position.