The Urn Carrier

by Chris Convissor

  “How do you do that to me?”

  By this time Dina has shifted and is enveloped in Tessa’s arms.

  “We do it together, love.” Dina kisses her all about the face.

  Tessa’s heart is so full. If she dies right now, everything in her life is perfect.

  “Your heart beat is so strong,” Dina murmurs, her head resting on Tessa’s chest.

  “Mmmmmm.” Tessa is determined to not fall asleep. She wants to be inside Dina, rocking her, kissing her, licking her, drinking her. She is in another time, another space, almost another world. When she sleeps, she sleeps hard and when she wakes, she is weightless and light, as if the sun could shine right through her.

  Murphy is getting neglected. They haven’t run in the last few days. Tessa slips out as quietly as possible, her running shoes in hand.

  Murphy is beside himself. He is jumping up and down, literally grinning as Tessa slips on her running shoes. She gets them laced up and hears Dina’s voice.

  Tessa peeks her head in the camper.

  “Where you going?” Dina’s eyes are all squinty and her blond hair is mussed in about four different ways. She attempts to lift her head from the pillow.

  “Just a quick run with Murphy, I’ll be back soon.”

  “Mmmmm, come back to bed first.”

  “I will, I promise. Murphy needs to stretch his legs.”

  And so do I.

  AS THEY PREPARE to cross the border, they each take tasks, to ready the rig and the paper work. Tessa slides into the driver’s seat and instinctively checks the awning in her passenger side mirror.

  “The sewer cap and the stairs,” she says aloud, but to herself.

  “I checked all that,” Dina says from her open laptop.

  But no, she didn’t. From the circle mirror in the longer side view, Tessa can see the steps are out, and the levelling blocks are by the campfire.

  “Sweet. I just need to check the bumper, make sure the end caps are on tight.”

  Tessa stows the stairs and the levelling blocks. Dina pokes her head out the window.

  “Wow. My bad. I bet when that call came in from Dr. Lynch, I got distracted.”

  “That’s okay,” Tessa says. After all, she’s used to doing this alone.

  It’s the little things that tell the big things.

  Tessa looks behind her as if someone has spoken out loud, but no one is there.

  At the border, Dina elbows her. “PLU.”

  Tessa is confused.

  “People like us,” Dina explains.

  Still confused Tessa drives up to the border guard. It’s a young woman. In uniform. Stern. Tessa attempts her best smile, handing over both their passports and Murphy’s medical records.

  “What’s your destination?”

  “Uhm, Kamloops highway.”

  The border guard gives her a withering glance.

  “I mean we’re camping along the way and then heading back home.”

  “Michigan? Both of you?”

  “Yes.”

  “How long do you expect to be in Canada?”

  “Two weeks?”

  “Is that two weeks, or maybe more?”

  “We have to be back by September first,” Dina intervenes. She doesn’t smile either. She’s matching the border guard’s energy, which doesn’t go unnoticed.

  The border guard surveys Dina coolly for an instant. “Any pepper spray? Automatic weapons? Pistols?”

  Tessa shakes her head. “I have a shotgun though.”

  She hands over the registration for that.

  The border guard sighs. “Pull over there for inspection.”

  She keeps their paper work.

  They pull over for what seems like a very long time. Murphy is panting. Tessa opens her door to get his dog dish.

  A voice over the PA says. “Stay in your vehicle.”

  “Don’t be so nervous, T. They just like to intimidate people. Real butch. But she’s totally doable.”

  Tessa looks at Dina horrified.

  “What?” Dina laughs.

  “You’re incorrigible.”

  “I like looking at the menu.”

  The guard comes up. “Let’s unlock your camper.”

  “Can I get my dog his water dish?”

  “Yes.”

  The guard looks at Dina. “You can remain in your seat.”

  If Dina is tempted to reply, she shows no sign of it.

  Tessa opens the camper and the guard, with another male guard, go inside. The female guard bends down and picks up Murphy’s dish and hands it to Tessa.

  “This is the shotgun case?” The other guard indicates the shotgun in the closet.

  Tessa nods.

  “Okay, you can go water your dog, but return here after.”

  “Wow,” Tessa says to Dina as she pours Murphy water. “They sure are serious.”

  “They probably hate Americans.”

  “Technically they are Americans too.”

  “Yeah, well, US citizens.”

  “I have to go back.”

  “Lucky you.” Dina already has her laptop open. “Hopefully they won’t shoot me as I do my schoolwork.”

  Tessa returns to the camper.

  “Okay, then. Everything checks out.” The male guard leaves.

  “Summer vacation?” the female guard asks.

  Tessa nods.

  “Well, enjoy Canada and don’t speed.” She never cracks a smile, but she does turn back and remarks, “Sweet truck.”

  Once Tessa is in the driver’s seat, Dina watches the guard walk into the building.

  “Oh, yeah, she’s definitely doable. Nice ass.”

  Tessa shoves her.

  “I tell you what, Tessa Williams. Loving you has popped my eyes wide open.”

  Chapter 20

  “OH MY GOD, T. Is this what it’s been like the whole trip?”

  Dina is gripping the arm of the truck door while gaping at the entrance to the Canadian Rockies. They are approaching Revelstoke and Tessa’s ash drop in the Columbia River. The cathedral of mountains and ice caps towers over them as they begin driving the majestic ranges.

  “This is how the sequoias and redwoods felt.”

  “We have to come back. Two weeks is not enough. You can sense how ancient, stoic, and immovable they are.”

  Tessa is giddy with the sheer beauty of the area.

  “Your great aunt and uncle sure knew how to sightsee.”

  “I bet the roads were a lot rougher back then. In fact, I know so. Sadie got so tired of changing tires. They carried at least two extra tires at all times. They had to take extra fuel too, ’cause gas stations were really far between.”

  “They were brave.”

  “Well, help always arrived when they needed it.”

  “I mean they didn’t have cell phones or anything to call for help back then. If you got lost or stuck, you’re on your own.”

  “Maybe that’s why they would hook up with other couples and caravan together sometimes.”

  “That makes sense.”

  Part of Tessa wants to share all the secrets in the journals, but she is heeding Mr. Forsythe’s words.

  “So when do we call hunky mechanic guy?”

  “Paul? Well, I thought after the ash drop. The grades haven’t been too bad yet.”

  They take a road off the highway, west of Revelstoke. Tessa is confident she can find a place along the river and in a short distance she does.

  “You don’t have to come.”

  “You’re kidding, right? Of course I want to come. But you might have to explain things to me.”

  Dina watches her ritual intently, quietly standing back as Tessa thinks about Percy and Sadie. She’s unsure what year they were here, but it seems later than the trips out west. Were they happy on this trip? Or is this when Sadie thought Percy was two steps lower on the food chain? Maybe the photo albums will have pictures with locations and dates.

  When she finishes, Dina comes up and hugs her
, full bodied.

  “That was awesome, T. It’s really special what you’re doing.”

  “And this leg of it is almost done. Let’s head over to the campgrounds and get set up.”

  “Okay. Will it be too late to call . . . ?”

  “Paul?”

  “Paul.”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  DINA’S INSIDE, BEGINNING dinner prep, so Tessa makes the call.

  “Hey. You’re in Canada now, eh?” His dimples accentuate his wide grin.

  “Funny.”

  Dina springs out of the rig with a dishtowel in her hand. Her blond hair is done up in a French twist and she has her short shorts on.

  “Hi, Paul. I’m Dina.” She’s wiping her hands. “Just got all the veggies cut for the kabobs.” She puts one hand on Tessa’s shoulder.

  “Oh. Hi, Dina.”

  Paul looks at Tessa as if he got caught in the headlights.

  “Uhm, Dina? Could you give Murphy a walk? I think he needs to pee.”

  “Sure. Be back in a jiffy. Nice to meet you Paul.” Dina leans in again and waves to the iPhone.

  “Sorry ’bout that,” Tessa says when Dina is out of hearing.

  Paul swallows hard. “It would be so much better if she had a mole on her nose or three heads. She’s absolutely stunning. Who can compete with that?”

  Tessa looks down.

  “It’s okay, Tessa. I’m glad you called me. Now let’s adjust the carburetor, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Paul explains the simple procedure of allowing the carburetor more air. “Once you get below a certain altitude, you have to do that in reverse, or it’s going to run shitty, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay. Cool. If you can, test it out without the camper on it, make sure everything is running smoothly. Any problems, call me back. You remember how to adjust the timing, right?”

  “Loosen the bolt on the distributor and turn the cap slowly, if the truck is running rough.”

  “Right. If all else fails, you have that one city you’ll be hitting . . .”

  “Canmore.”

  “Yeah, they have a shop there. They can adjust the timing and the carb for you if you want them to do it.”

  “Thanks, I really appreciate it.”

  “No worries. You take care.”

  Dina returns with a grin. “Green eyes. He is kind of hunky.”

  “He’s sweet. A good friend.”

  “Well, we can’t have too many friends, that’s for sure.”

  As they enter the rig, Dina shows Tessa her handiwork with the skewers of veggies she’s made up. “So, I was just going to add some seasonings . . .”

  Dina picks up the Cajun spices bottle.

  “Uhm, honey?”

  “Yeah, baby?”

  Tessa grabs Dina’s hand before she sprinkles Aunt Sadie on their food. “Whoa, I put some of Aunt Sadie in here.”

  Dina’s eyes widen in horror. “But whatever for?”

  “Cousin Joe, his girlfriend . . .”

  “Oh, wow. Totally forgot that story. Freaky.”

  “But everything else is exactly what it says it is.”

  THE CLIMB OVER the Rockies is thrilling and nerve-racking. Tessa takes the steep grades carefully, seeing other vehicles towing rigs, stopped off to the side, steam coming from their engines. Some are struggling up the grade with black smoke coming out the exhaust. Fuel. She keeps an eye on her gauges and has shifted the truck in to second. Midnight Rider climbs Highway 1a like a champ. She is having a hard time keeping her eyes on the road while attempting to catch glimpses amid the towering beauty as the mountain ranges become more dramatic and vertical.

  Dina is oohing and ahhing out the window. For once, the laptop is gone, out of sight, and she is just enjoying the moment. As they descend into the Canmore area, Tessa keeps the rig in second to spare the brakes, once the grade is not so steep she shifts up into drive.

  “You’re a pro, baby. I’m glad you did that part of the driving. Have you ever seen anything more beautiful in your life?”

  “No. Never. My mom would love this.”

  “Mine too, but I can’t ever see me doing a trip like this with her.”

  “Too much alike?”

  “Oh, I’d just do everything wrong. Never good enough.”

  Tessa wants to ask her more, but Dina excitedly points out the bridge overhead.

  “Check it out, Tessa. A wildlife crossover bridge. It’s made just for the animals.”

  As Tessa approaches the land bridge, she sees a natural corridor with trees and shrubs. High fencing on either side keep the wildlife as safe as possible.

  “I’ve always heard of those, how cool to actually see one,” Dina says. “They must put ’em where there’s already a trail, right?”

  “You’d think so.”

  “So where are we stopping today?”

  “It’s not too far up. Hopefully we can get in. It has over three hundred RV sites.”

  The Provincial Park is busy. Campers of all shapes and sizes are parked in very neat and widely spaced grounds. Tessa follows the directions to the very last row of sites. Each row is higher than the last one, terraced upwards, and when they park, Tessa sees why.

  Across a wide valley and soaring up into the sky is a huge snow-capped peak, high on the left side and a sharp descent to the right. Although plenty of daylight is left, it’s technically evening, and a bright planet is juxtaposed a few degrees up and off the left of the mountain peak.

  They both stare at it openmouthed.

  “Is this heaven?” Dina breaks the silence.

  Murphy wants out. It’s been a long day for him, and Dina solicitously takes him for his walk. Five minutes later she is back wide-eyed and speechless. She just points to the service road behind them.

  It’s up a rise too.

  “Wha?” Tessa laughs.

  Dina opens her mouth, says nothing, and shakes her head.

  Murphy is staring intently uphill.

  “What is it?”

  “B-B-B-bear.”

  “What?”

  “Well, it ran away as soon as it saw us, but it was scratching a tree up pretty good.”

  “You’re not in East Lansing anymore.”

  “That’s for sure. I think Murphy and I are going to walk downhill, through the campground.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Seriously, yeah. I just have to understand how much wildlife there actually is around here.”

  Later, as they are doing dishes, they get another reminder. Something bumps on the trailer, and Murphy pricks up his ears and cocks his head.

  Tessa looks out the camper window. A very large, female elk is nonchalantly licking out of Murphy’s water dish beside the step. Every time she steps side to side she nudges the rig. And when her side hits the rig, she very considerately moves away. Dina squeals and takes movies with Tessa’s iPhone.

  “They’re protected here, did you know that? Awesome. I can’t think of a better honeymoon.”

  Tessa’s heart bursts wide open with joy.

  AS THE LATER evening comes on, the dusky, not quite dark blue evening hue, they sit outside and watch the female elk. She has moved down the way to an unoccupied pop-up. The people left their garbage tied to the handle of the door. The animal has gently peeled away an opening and is nibbling on whatever she can pick out of the contents.

  “Should we do something?”

  Tessa considers this for a moment. “Nah. She looks like she’s done this all before and she is being very gentle.”

  “How late do you think it is?”

  It’s a game. Ever since being further north, the daylight has gotten much longer.

  Tessa gives it her best guess. “Ten?”

  “Nope. Almost eleven.”

  They shake their heads and look at the planet near the mountain.

  Dina holds up her phone and selects a night sky app.

  “Venus. Of course it’s Venus.” Dina k
isses her and doesn’t stop kissing her even once they’re inside the rig.

  IN THE MIDDLE of the night, Tessa is shaken awake by Dina.

  “You’re having wormhole nightmares again.”

  Tessa rolls over and looks at her questioningly.

  “You drop through the rabbit hole to somewhere else. It’s actually kind of scary. You stop breathing.”

  “I do?”

  “You talk about worms and mud and whimper, ‘Stop!’ and ‘It hurts!’ Then you quit breathing.”

  Dina snugs her into her shoulder.

  Tessa is astounded. “Why would I be having nightmares?”

  “I dunno, baby, but it’s all alright. I’m here now.”

  One of the nightmares Tessa actually remembers. She even wakes herself from it before Dina does.

  She’s ten years old. They’re at Uncle Chuck’s house in Westland, near Detroit. She hates going there as much as her dad does. But it’s a big birthday party for Uncle Chuck. Tessa takes off with Cousin Joe and one of his friends. They hike back to a swamp with big old growth and long dark veiny grape vines hanging down. She’s brought her fiberglass long bow. It’s lime green. And she has new arrows, not sharp like deer arrows, just the blunt ones.

  The bull frogs are huge and Joe takes a swipe at a couple with his arrows, losing both immediately. The other kid hits one and misses another. Tessa takes aim and shoots one clean through, then another. Pretty soon all three kids are shooting and laughing and goading each other on until it’s a complete massacre.

  Suddenly Tessa stops, sickened to her stomach. She’s just grabbed the shaft of her arrow from a very large frog, impaled straight through the gut. Its white belly floats up to her and the lifeless legs and body of this particular frog sears its memory into her brain. The perfectly round hole with blood at its edges stares back at her like a lifeless eye of God. She freezes.

  The boys are still shouting and laughing and splashing through the pond, trying to kill more frogs.

  Tessa looks at all the bodies floating upwards, dead. Mostly because of her. Because she’s such a good shot.

  She turns and runs. She runs with the bow in one hand and the bloody arrow in the other, and her pack of quills in her holder on her back. She runs through the meadows, letting the grasses slap her face and bare thighs, running up and down wheel ruts heavy equipment left behind. She hears Joe calling for her and she runs blindly, crying and sickened, suffocated. She doesn’t stop till she reaches the edge of Uncle Chuck’s back yard and then she slows and sinks into the grass so she’s completely hidden.