Lost Paradise

by Tara Fox Hall

  The second I was free, I teleported back to Danial. He was on the couch waiting. As soon as he saw my face, he hugged me. “Did you find him with someone?” he asked.

  “Catherine,” I said emptily. “He called her Catherine.”

  “She was the first woman he turned,” Danial said. “I’m not surprised he was with her, though I am surprised he would choose to do that particular act with a vampire—”

  “He was having regular sex with her, not oral sex. He broke his Oath to me.”

  Danial held me tighter.

  “I confronted them, Danial. Catherine said I was free of my Oath, that it was broken.”

  Danial pulled back from me, his brow knit in confusion. “That’s not true, Sar. Only Devlin can dissolve the Oath. And he would never—”

  “She said that was why the choker fell off, Danial,” I said accusingly. “That is why it’s been falling off all week. That crap about rebalancing was just an excuse to cover up that he’s been sleeping with her.”

  Danial abruptly sat me on the couch and headed to his study. “Stay here, please. I need to check something.”

  “What?”

  “I need to know if she was telling the truth.”

  Was he going for his copy of the vampire law book? Must be, odd as it sounded.

  I made myself some hot chocolate. The warm liquid soothed me, even as I berated myself for being a fool. At least Theo hadn’t been here to see it. Once he knew, it was going to be one big “I told you so.” And the worst of it was he was completely right: I’d been an idiot. I’d known exactly what Dev was, and I’d loved him anyway. I’d thought he’d change for me, that I’d be the one to tame him, when I was old enough to know better.

  After finishing my cocoa, I went into Danial’s bedroom, slipped into pajamas, and went to bed. Today had been bad. I wasn’t giving it the opportunity to get any worse.

  * * * *

  Danial was shaking me. “Wake up, Love, please.”

  I blinked, then yawned. “What is it?”

  “Sar, it’s true,” Danial said emptily. “You are free of him. The Oath is broken.”

  Relief crashed down on me. I sank back down on the bed and relaxed utterly. I didn’t have to have any more children. I didn’t have to go to Hayden tomorrow. I’d miss Lash and Serena, but not enough to go back there. Maybe Serena could visit me here. As for my friendship with Lash…I’d think about Lash another day. What mattered was I no longer had to do what Dev told me, or worry he wasn’t happy. I wasn’t bound to him anymore. I’d been so tense for so long. Now suddenly, my chief source of tension was gone.

  Danial still was looking at me miserably in silence.

  “I’m not free of you,” I said, opening my arms to him. “And I wouldn’t want to be.”

  “He accepted for me. There is a gray area, Sar, as he is the one you actually Oathed to.”

  “My choker with your symbol is still in place.”

  “I can see that, Love. But it doesn’t mean the Oath we share isn’t broken.”

  “I acknowledge your rights to me, Danial Racklan,” I said softly, as formally as I could. “I Sarelle O’Connor, swear to you that I will take no other vampire lover, save you—”

  “Save I and my brother,” Danial said quietly.

  I gave him a furious look, and stopped talking.

  “Sar, he did it for me,” Danial said apologetically. “I couldn’t do less for him.”

  “Then you will have to stay in your gray area,” I said flatly. “I’m not opening that door, Danial, now that I’ve finally been able to shut it. I’m not letting him back in my life.”

  “Sar, you love him,” Danial said cajolingly. “He’s the father of your child. There is no shutting that door, not now.” He touched my shoulder, then slid his hand to my hip. “You have his mark beneath your very skin.”

  I turned away from him, and didn’t answer. A few moments later, I felt him lowering himself carefully next to me in bed, so he could spoon me. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, hugging me. “I’m just worried about losing you.”

  “You aren’t going to lose me,” I replied. “I’m going to need your help, Danial. When the dhamphir is born, I’ll have to leave him with you until they are old enough for me to handle safely.”

  “What?” Danial said, shocked. “Dev can’t have agreed, Sar. He’s wanted a child of his own for so long—”

  Who cared if he agreed? I sure as hell didn’t. “Danial, we can’t just let him take the baby, when he’s so irresponsible. What if he decides he needs to have sex and leaves the baby alone?”

  “He won’t do that,” Danial said patiently. “But in any case, I will not help you keep Dev’s child from him. That is as blunt as I can say it. ”

  “You don’t have to keep him away,” I said stridently. “Just don’t let him just take the child to Hayden. I’ll never see it—”

  “You will have to go there and visit your child,” Danial said firmly. “And you will have to face Devlin. You are having a baby with him, and you are an adult, Sar. The baby will need him; need his guidance as its father. You don’t need me to fight your battles for you, at least, not this kind of battle.”

  I didn’t answer, fuming. As angry as Danial’s refusal made me, without his help I’d have to let Devlin take the baby, and visit it at Hayden. The only possibility was that if Dear Dev screwed up enough, maybe Danial would come to his senses.

  The phone rang. Danial picked up the phone. “Stay silent,” he instructed me, then he pushed the speakerphone button and said, “Hello, Dev.”

  “I don’t understand how this happened, Danial,” Dev replied, his slightly distorted voice irritated. “I’ve never heard of a collar falling off before, not when it was the vampire who’d—”

  “Dev, you broke your word,” Danial said edgily. “Sar is within her rights not to see you for a while, if not to dissolve the Oath entirely.”

  “The actual Oath had nothing about other lovers for me in it,” Devlin said quickly. “The Oath still stands. There must be some problem with the collar. I’ll take it back to the jeweler—”

  “Be as that may, it doesn’t really matter,” Danial retorted. “I’ve checked the laws. According to the choker, you broke your Oath. It couldn’t bind Sar once you did. Every time you broke your word to her, it released her by falling off. She kept refastening it. By doing so, she was telling it that she accepted what you were doing. But now she has refused to refasten it. She gave it back to you, so she’s not bound to you anymore, though the Oath to me still binds her.”

  “It does not,” Devlin said dangerously. “Don’t quote me law as if you know it all, you who have Oathed, what, three women in your four hundred plus years of life? I took her Oath. You were not even there to consummate it! I acted in your stead. You would never have dared to—”

  “The same jeweler made the choker with my emblem, Dev,” Danial said angrily. “Mine has never fallen off by itself. Never. At the least, Sar is marked as my lover. As such, it’s within my rights to protect her, to make her happy. As she doesn’t want to see you, I forbid you from coming here until she instructs me otherwise!”

  “You could ask that she see me,” Devlin said hesitantly. “By law, she has to, if you ask.”

  “I won’t ask her to,” Danial said coldly. “Sar will see you when she’s ready to.”

  “Danial, please—”

  “Dev, you should have either never promised to be faithful to her, or you should’ve kept your word. I have no pity for you, not after how you acted. I’m sure you are very sorry now. You always are, after you’ve been thoughtless! But you never learn—”

  “Danial, please tell me you won’t keep me from my child,” Devlin said, panicked.

  “You know I won’t,” Danial said gently. “And I’ll keep you abreast of any doctor appointments or developments. But Sar is not going to come to you, or stay with you at Hayden. Not this week. Maybe not ever again.”

  Devlin didn’t reply.
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  “And don’t issue threats about telling Samuel,” Danial said flatly. “You would never want it known Sar was not Oathed to you anymore. We will not say anything, and I know neither will you. You love her too much to risk her falling into their hands.”

  “I do love her, Danial,” Devlin said brokenly. He began crying. “So much it tears me apart.”

  “I know you do,” Danial said gently. “But you got yourself into this. You will have to deal with the consequences of your actions.”

  “Keep her safe,” Devlin said reluctantly. “And make sure you give her enough blood to keep her well. If she is not seeing me, she’ll need you more than she has before.”

  “I gave her blood last night,” Danial said easily. “She was radiant after, almost glowing. And her teeth got sharp, like mine. Would you believe, she actually bit me—”

  Devlin made a strangled sound.

  “What?’ said Danial.

  “Don’t give her that much again,” Dev finally got out. “You’ll turn her, Danial.”

  I almost let out a scream, but clapped my hand over my mouth.

  “You said she could not be turned!” Danial shouted at the top of his lungs.

  “I never said that!” Devlin yelled back at him. “I said she was not turning back in the fall. She wasn’t turning when I saved her. No amount of sex can do it, it’s true. But our old blood is potent, Danial. Sar is very resistant to the virus. Did you hear what I said? Resistant, not invulnerable. A massive amount could turn her. If her teeth got sharp, she was close—”

  I gritted my teeth. Why was it always Devlin who had to have the answers I needed? Danial was just as old. What the fuck had he been doing all those years, that he hadn’t learned any of this? Damn it!

  I made myself breathe deeply. Not knowing wasn’t Danial’s fault; he’d only had the power to turn humans for a few years now. And he had never had a woman like Annabelle for a companion. Devlin knew most of what he knew regarding me because of her, and the decade or so they had spent oathed to each other.

  Thinking that, I wondered what Anna had looked like. Devlin had said she didn’t look like me, but it seemed important to know somehow. She had died hundreds of years before I was born, but she was responsible in a way for saving my life.

  “I didn’t know,” Danial whispered, breaking into my thoughts. “I won’t do it again.”

  “Are her teeth normal again?” Devlin said forcefully.

  “Yes,” Danial said.

  “Watch her skin, as you give her the blood next time,” Devlin commanded. “When it begins to get luminous, stop giving it to her immediately. You are much stronger than she is. Pry her off you, do whatever you have to, but don’t give her that much again!”

  “I won’t,” Danial said in a small voice.

  “Now put her on,” Devlin said commandingly. “I should warn her about this, too.”

  “Forget it!” Danial said loftily, his tone changing immediately. “I am not going to, not tonight. Sar’s tired, and it’s been a long day, besides her having to see you screwing around with your old flame.” He paused. “I need to be going to bed, Dev,” Danial continued slyly. “Sar is waiting for me. I can’t wait to touch her soft, warm skin.”

  “You don’t have to rub it in,” Devlin said crabbily. “Call me tomorrow, and let me know how she is.” He paused. “Call me every day, and let me know how she is.”

  “I will,” Danial said gently. “Goodnight.”

  He hung up, then said, “Sar, I’m sorry. I didn’t know about the blood.”

  “I didn’t either. But we do now, and we’ll be careful. Go to sleep.”

  Ten minutes later, both of us were still wide awake. “You sure couldn’t wait to rub it in, that you were with me,” I said teasingly, to break the oppressive silence.

  “I couldn’t help it,” he replied, stroking my arm. “Dev always rubbed in when he was with you, and what he was going to do to—”

  I reached down on impulse, and caressed him gently.

  Danial let out a sigh. “Stop, Love,” he said reluctantly, removing my hand from his swelling organ. “I meant what I told you. I don’t want to endanger the babies. It isn’t worth it, much as I’d like to.”

  “Danial,” I said seductively. “There are other things we can do, besides that.”

  Danial looked at me in surprise. “We never did that, when you were pregnant before,” he said, his voice already husky.

  “Do I take that to mean you don’t want to try doing it now?” I asked teasingly.

  “Sar, we have done that as foreplay. We have never taken it all the way.”

  “Would you like to?” I began blatantly.

  Danial was already out of bed, locking the door. He darted back to me, taking me in his arms. “Sar, you know I can’t do the same for you because of my fangs. I might cut you. I’m sorry, but it’s going to be pretty one-sided. Are you sure you want to continue, knowing that?”

  I thought about telling him that I knew someone with fangs he could take lessons from, but decided it was better to hold my tongue. “I’m sure. Lay back for me.”

  “No,” he said lovingly. “I want to kiss you for a while first, Love.” He paused, giving me a meaningful look. “For what has the night to do with sleep?”

  His intended purpose had been teasing seduction, yet I felt oddly that there was some other meaning as well. But the thought left my mind the moment his lips touched mine. Soon Danial was kissing me ardently, and I was burning up inside from the fire kindled from each feather light touch.

  * * * *

  In spite of Theo beginning the night positioned at the edge of the bed, the three of us woke up again the next morning holding each other. But Theo took it more in stride this time, though he remained uncomfortable. It helped that he was hurrying to make an appointment, and that Terian was already outside, waiting for him.

  “Our first solo case meetings are in an hour and a half,” Theo said as he put on his shoes. “I’ll be back sometime this afternoon. Wish us luck.”

  I gave him an encouraging smile, hiding my worry inside. Theo was rash sometimes, and he didn’t know how to finesse people. Terian had experience from running his online order business years ago, sure, but he hadn’t dealt with many people face to face. There was a big difference between talking on the phone and meeting in person. But I didn’t say any of that, not wanting to imply I didn’t have utter confidence in them. They were both nervous enough.

  I gave Theo a kiss. “Good luck.”

  I watched them drive off through the morning sunlight, feeling cheered by the good weather. It was supposed to be a nice day, sunny and clear. Hopefully spring was coming early this year. I’d had more than enough of winter.

  I closed the front door and went into the kitchen. Elle and Theoron were there getting breakfast, Elle helping her brother. From the easy way she did it, I assumed that she did it most mornings. I was hesitant to help her, and instead just watched from the sidelines, eating my cereal and giving her points for how well she got him to keep moving without yelling.

  Danial came in briefly and then headed up to his office, after giving us all a hug and a kiss. Afterward, I teleported Elle and Theoron to the were compound for their lessons. Their tutor had already arrived and was waiting. With a forced smile for me, he quickly hurried off with them.

  His name was Bill Winger. Though he was very intelligent with a very impressive list of titles and degrees, he and I had never really hit it off. He tended to stare at my bite marks a little too much. I’d also seen revulsion on his face, though I wasn’t sure if that was for the marks or because he knew what the choker meant and abhorred the custom. Danial had never seen the revulsion, or he would have fired him immediately. Yet I’d never brought it up to him, as Elle and Theoron both liked him immensely. Bill did his job well, with how much he had managed to teach them in the short years he’d been their tutor. For that I was willing to overlook the fact he was a jerk.

  The morning flew
by as Danial and I checked email and contacted clients. At noon, he took my mouse from my hand. “Why don’t you take the afternoon off, and rest?” Danial said, giving me his now customary cheek kiss. “I have conference calls for the rest of the afternoon anyway.”

  This was a welcome surprise. “Are you sure?”

  “Of course,” he said, gently giving me a push towards the door. “Have some lunch, and take a walk. It’s supposed to be a beautiful day, with highs in the high sixties. Elle and Theoron are taking a trip to the Alan’s Creek Nature Preserve this afternoon with Bill, Brian and Demi. They won’t be back for a while. Take a nap, if you want.”

  “You won’t make me work harder tomorrow?” I teased.

  Danial shook his head. “You’re going to have to start taking it easier in the next few months anyway. Just tell me if you leave the grounds.”

  “Agreed,” I said, flashing him a smile.

  I went downstairs, thinking happy thoughts about sending one of the foxes for takeout. I checked the refrigerator, but nothing looked appealing. Takeout it was.

  As I began dialing my phone, there was an odd noise out front. Was someone yelling outside?

  I opened the door and looked out. Lash was there waiting, leaning against his truck, staring at me. Per usual, he was dressed all in black, his whip and knife on his belt. He didn’t speak.

  Despite my breaking up with Dev, and everything else that had happened, I was glad to see him. He’d been decent to me and I thought of him as a friend now. The intimacy we’d shared gave me a little pause, sure, but he’d always been decent about that, too. “Hi,” I said in a friendly tone. “Why are you here?”

  “I came to see if you wanted to go to lunch,” Lash hissed.

  I looked at him oddly. “You came all this way for that?”

  “No,” Lash hissed, opening his truck door. “I came also to give you your leftover sushi, before it spoiled, and to return your DVD.” He handed both to me, the former in a small Styrofoam cooler. “I liked it so much I bought my own copy.”

  I took them from him. “Gnomes can be addictive,” I said, smirking.