Lost Paradise

by Tara Fox Hall

“I’ll ask one more time, Mr. Dalcon!” my mother said at top volume. “Why is my daughter having your child?”

  “The simplest answer is because I told her that I wanted her to,” Devlin said, locking eyes with my mother, then my stepfather. “Your daughter is the only woman known who can have a vampire’s child, ma’am. That makes life dangerous for Sar—”

  “What danger is she in?” my stepfather asked, an edge to his words. “And from whom?”

  “Surely you don’t think my brother and I are the only vampires in the world?” Devlin said casually, making it clear of the conclusion that was supposed to follow his words.

  “Others want her,” my mother breathed. “They know about Theoron.”

  “Yes,” Devlin said. “Danial isn’t powerful enough to protect your daughter from others of our kind. He doesn’t have the experience, or the ruthlessness. I do.” Devlin had been charming up until now. But he uttered those three sentences with enough cruelty and malice in his voice to melt steel. Both of my parents recoiled from him. My mother gave him a look that said she believed it.

  “What he said is true,” Theo added roughly. “He saved Sar’s life at least three times now, risking his own in the process. Your daughter wouldn’t be standing here with you today, if not for him.”

  My mother came and hugged me. A moment later, my stepfather did the same. But when they separated from me, my mother was all business again.

  “So you made her have the baby with you in exchange for protecting her?” my mother accused.

  Here was the big question I’d been dreading. How would Devlin answer it? Would he tell the truth? And if so, which version?

  Devlin took the last swallow of wine, and rolled the empty glass in his hand, looking at it as if it held the answers to my mother’s questions. “I gave her a choice,” he said softly. “I told her I loved her. I told her I would protect her. And I asked her in return to let my brother and myself into her life again. To try to have a child with me. She agreed.”

  “What kind of a choice was that?” my mother said shrilly. “She either gave you what you wanted, or you let her get used, passed around! This is the reason we saw her that night with Danial—!”

  “Stop it, Tina,” Theo growled.

  Everyone turned to look at him.

  “With all due respect, Tina, you are not dealing with the world you know,” Theo continued carefully. “It was Sar’s choice, and she made it. And if I had been her, been in her shoes, with all that was going on at the time…” He trailed off, looking at me with sadness.

  He meant his leaving me, my dying, the Gathering, all of it, in those last weeks of the old year.

  “I would have made the same decision,” Theo finished. “There wasn’t another one to make. Not if she wanted to stay my wife, or ever see you or her children again.”

  Devlin said nothing, his golden eyes fixed on my parents.

  “Please take us home,” my mother said, anger and a little weariness creeping into her tone. “I think we’ve had enough of the world Sar’s chosen to live in, at least for tonight.”

  “No,” Devlin said cruelly. “I want you to see my house, now that you are here. Sar’s done a lot of painting here, put in a lot of work. I want you to see the nursery, before you go.”

  “If it’s all the same, we’d really rather not—” my stepfather said politely.

  “It is not!” Devlin snarled, baring his fangs, and throwing his empty glass hard against the far wall to shatter in a spray of glass.

  Theo grabbed me tight. My stepfather grabbed my mother.

  “You made a scene at my brother’s first birthday party in over four hundred years,” Devlin growled, his eyes glowing red. “He saw it. My nephew and niece saw it. Anyone that means anything to him saw it.”

  My mother let out an “Eek!”

  “Everyone knows that Sar and I are Oathed, and about the baby, so there is no lasting damage,” Devlin went on, the red in his eyes diminishing. “But you didn’t know that. You thought before you spoke, Tina. And I want you to think next time very carefully before you say anything within my hearing.”

  My mother was hugging my stepfather, the latter glaring at Dev like a cornered badger looks at a grizzly bear.

  I had to do something before this escalated. I let go of Theo’s hand, and went to my parents. “Come, please,” I invited, touching both of them on their shoulders. “I would like you to see Hayden before you go. It is beautiful, and you might not get to visit often, because it’s dangerous.”

  “Dangerous how?” my stepfather asked flintily. “Theo said you’re protected.”

  “Devlin and Danial are big shots in the vampire world,” I said carefully. “They have a lot of enemies. That’s why I never met you at either of their homes, or invited you there on holidays. No one wants any of their enemies finding out about you, or using you to get to them. We have enough problems with that happening to me.”

  My parents looked nervous, but at least they weren’t as scared.

  I steeled myself, then went to Devlin, and took his hand, hearing his intake of breath when I touched him. “Lead on,” I instructed.

  Devlin beamed at me, then put my arm in his. For the next half hour, he led us around Hayden. We didn’t go into the bears’ quarters or the basement, but he showed them the completely restored ballroom, which was breathtaking, a grand piano now shining with luster on the stage beneath the double staircase. I debated asking him to play for us, knowing music would help to relax us all but decided against it, not knowing if Dev would agree.

  Dev also showed us the rooms I had painted and the nursery. While they were still not furnished, the nursery was complete and perfect, from the pastel walls to the many stuffed toys and books all the way down to the little acorn wind chimes above the crib.

  “Do you like it?” Devlin asked, very hesitantly putting his arms around me. “I went with Pooh, as we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl.”

  “I like it very much,” I responded, flashing him a quick smile.

  Devlin gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek. I shifted, uncomfortable, then tried to relax.

  “You said Sar is Oathed to you,” my mom said boldly. “What does that mean? She’s Theo’s wife.”

  Devlin looked at her, his arms tightening possessively around me. “It means that your daughter promised my brother and I that we would be the only vampires she would ever be with as lovers,” he said frankly. “Your daughter is part vampire now, from having Danial’s son. She needs—”

  “Sar needs them,” Theo said, cutting Devlin off. “Sar needs their blood regularly to stay alive. And by giving them this promise, all other vampires have to leave her alone. That keeps her safe. That’s why she wears that gold necklace. That’s what it means.”

  My mother looked at me, grief in her eyes. Behind that was anger that all this had happened to me, that someone was responsible for allowing it to happen. She blamed Danial for dragging me into his world and changing me, for wanting the baby, for having a monster of a brother like Devlin. “May we go home now?”

  “As you wish.” Devlin led us back downstairs. “Titus will take you.”

  Titus emerged from the basement with Terian. “You told them everything?”

  “Not everything,” I said softly. Taking my mother’s hand in mine. I teleported us to her house.

  “You can do what they do?” my mother said, horrified.

  “I’m part demon, too,” I answered. “I got some blood on me years ago, Mom. It was an accident.” I gave her a winning smile. “But I’m still me.”

  “You aren’t,” my mother said with disgust. “The daughter I raised would never have fallen in with a man like that Devlin. Bad enough to even know someone like that, Sar, but you’re having his baby—”

  “You have no idea what I have been through,” I interrupted angrily. “Don’t blame Danial for this, not for any of it. He has been the only one who stood by me since I met him, Mom. The only one.”

 
; “He hit you,” my mother spat. “Or did you forget?”

  “I deserved it, for what I did,” I retorted.

  She blanched. “If you can say something that stupid, then I know you’ve changed—”

  “Shut your mouth!” I yelled.

  My mother stared at me, mouth open.

  “I love Danial. I forgave him a long time ago for what he did. You are the only one who remembers it, who won’t let it die. How long are you going to make him pay for a mistake he made years ago?”

  My mother began to reply, but I talked over her. “Theo tried his best, Mom, but he couldn’t protect me. Danial couldn’t either. Devlin did, but he had to go through a lot of pain and hassle to do it. He had to send men to their deaths.”

  “You’re describing a war,” my mother said harshly.

  “It was going to be a war,” I said, letting all of my memories flood my words with emotions. “Devlin made a preemptive strike. He stopped it before it started. But the danger isn’t gone. All Devlin has to say is that I’m no longer Oathed to him and you would never see me again, because some other vampire would lay claim to me, one who didn’t care I had a husband, or children—”

  “Stop,” my mom said, crying.

  “No, Dev was right!” I yelled. “You can’t just speak or act rashly, Mom. You have to be careful in what you say and do. Everything has repercussions.” I took a deep breath and let it out. “It took me a while to learn that. I found it a harsh lesson. I’d rather you didn’t have to learn it the way I did. So I think you should take some time and think about how involved you want to be in my new life. Because this is my life now. I can’t go back to the way I was. But you don’t have to join me.”

  “Please, Sarelle,” my mom begged. “Please don’t shut us out of your life, or your babies’ lives.”

  “I won’t,” I relented, hugging her. “I’ll call you tomorrow. I’ve got to get back to Danial’s party. And I love you as much as ever, Mom. Don’t think I don’t, because we fought.”

  As my mom went to reply, she looked over my shoulder and suddenly stopped.

  I turned to look. Devlin stood there, along with Titus and my stepfather.

  My stepfather went to my mother. “Come inside, dear.” They both went inside the house leaning on each other.

  Devlin and Titus came over to me. As soon as Devlin got near enough, he grabbed my hand, then linked to Titus. The driveway disappeared, replaced by Danial’s great room. Titus nodded to me, then disappeared again.

  “We checked on the party,” Devlin said. “Theo’s there. Theoron’s still running around in his horns and tail, and Danial’s chasing him. Everyone’s having a good time.”

  “Good,” I said, relieved.

  Devlin brought me closer. “You handled yourself well, Love.”

  As much as I longed to lose myself in his arms, to kiss his inviting lips, I pushed back against him. “That’s close enough.”

  “Promise me you’ll stay and talk, and I’ll let go,” Devlin replied. “You can understand I’m afraid you’ll bolt.”

  “I’m not going to run,” I said, sitting down heavily. “I don’t feel like rejoining the party. I’d just be a downer, in the mood I’m in.”

  Devlin clasped my hand in his loosely. “I think you did and said what needed to be done and said,” he said evenly.

  “I didn’t want them to know all that. I didn’t want them to have to deal with the darker side of things.”

  “Like me, you mean?” Devlin said, annoyed. “Like our deal?”

  “No,” I said. “I didn’t want my mother to worry about me. I didn’t want her to know I could teleport, that I was part demon. She goes to church regularly. Even though she’s not a zealot, she can’t help but be influenced now by what I told her. She’s going to look at me differently.”

  “But you are different than you were,” Devlin interjected. “You’re also right in that there is no undoing it. You would have had to tell her, sooner or later.”

  His words reminded me of Lash’s, the jerk who’d started this whole mess. “And where’s your henchman? I hope you didn’t leave him at the party to add to this mess.”

  Devlin squeezed my hand, then let it go. “Do you want me to punish Lash for telling them?”

  “No. Just tell him not to talk to my parents again. The last thing I need is for them to find out about him, me, and The Lust.”

  “I’ll take care of it,” he said, then inclined his head slightly. “Do you want me to leave, or stay?”

  I looked back at him, wanting him desperately to stay, to make love with me, to sing to me, to love me. I took a long shaking breath. “Please go.”

  “Will you allow me to come and see you?” Devlin, taking my hand again. “I’ve missed you, Sar.” He stroked my wrist, then my arm. “I lie awake at night wishing you were with me.”

  Go now, or you’ll give in to him. I got up abruptly. “I’m sure by this time you’ve found someone to ease your loneliness,” I said spitefully, then strode into Danial’s room.

  I waited there, not sure if I wanted Devlin to come after me, or not. When a knock sounded some time later, I hesitantly called out, “Come in.”

  It was Danial, not Devlin. “Dev told me what happened. Tina is never going to let me forget what I did,” Danial said miserably. “As if I could anyway.”

  “She’ll forgive you, Danial. Just give her time.” I gave him a bright smile. “How was the party?”

  “Much enjoyed,” Danial said, flashing a smile. “But we were talking of your mother. Why do you forgive so easily, and she doesn’t?”

  “Because I’ve done a lot I needed forgiveness for. I’ve been lucky, in that most of the people I wronged forgave me. I try not to withhold forgiveness, if someone is really contrite.”

  Danial looked at me pointedly.

  “Sometimes there is just too much to forgive,” I said softly, then went into the bathroom to shower.

  “Never can true reconcilement grow where wounds of deadly hate have pierced so deep,” Danial intoned softly. “I hope in time you’ll reconsider, Sar.”

  I didn’t answer him, biting my lip.

  * * * *

  By June first, Stephen announced my babies would most likely be born in mid-August.

  “But that is over a month early, right?” Theo said worriedly.

  “The dhamphir would have matured a little early in any case,” Stephen said patiently. “But the werecougar is developing much faster than it should, Theo. As this also happened previously with your daughter, it’s likely due to something with your physiology.”

  “Is the were going to endanger my child?” Devlin asked.

  Stephen didn’t immediately reply.

  “Answer me, Camlyn,” Devlin said roughly. “Now.”

  “Probably not,” Stephen said finally. “It’s the dhamphir who is a danger to the werecougar.”

  “What?” I asked, confused. “Why?”

  “The babies are close together, Sar. Every day, as the were child gets bigger, it presses more and more against the dhamphir, whose fangs are already forming. Sooner or later, the dhamphir is going to realize that it has a source of nourishment right next to it—”

  I let out a scream, remembering Perseus’s idle comment. “No!”

  “What can we do?” Devlin said. “Will giving her blood help? If the dhamphir is getting enough blood, it should negate the desire to feed, like it does in a vampire.”

  “I’m going to prescribe some capsules of blood,” Stephen said, nodding. “It’s our best chance, I think. Sar, I want you to take them every day. It might mean the difference whether both babies survive.”

  “I’ll take them,” I promised, squeezing Theo’s hand in a death grip.

  “Is everyone ready?” Steven said brightly, smearing goo on my abdomen.

  I nodded. Today we’d find out if the twins would be boys or girls.

  Stephen began the ultrasound. “There they are.”

  The blobs were b
igger, but I still didn’t really see anything that resembled a baby.

  “Devlin, Theo, we can tell now which child is which. Theo’s is in cougar form, see the tail there?”

  I looked and saw nothing resembling a child, or a tail, or anything else recognizable. “Sure.”

  “That one’s a boy, according to the blood—”

  Theo squeezed my hand hard.

  “The other there is Devlin’s,” Stephen finished, pointing.

  “And mine?” Devlin asked hopefully. “Is it a boy?”

  “Devlin, your child will be a girl,” Stephen said, beaming.

  I couldn’t look at Devlin. He had to be disappointed, especially as Theo was getting a boy, and Danial had had a boy. But I was thrilled to be having a girl, my heart light and happy.

  Devlin tentatively touched my hand, then clasped it. I gently squeezed his hand. He squeezed back gently once, then let me go.

  * * * *

  In the last week of May, as we’d planned, Theo, Elle, and I took a plane, and went to Wyoming. We stayed in the house that Theo had lived in.

  There were a few awkward moments. The first was when Theo and I picked up the keys from the landlord, and he warned us to tell him if we saw any prowlers. “Some jackasses broke in one night, and tore the place up,” he said grumpily. “They ripped both phones out of the wall and broke them, and cut the cords. It looked like someone had tried to tie someone to the bed.”

  I pretended to be appalled and looked away, trying to keep the heat in my face from rising.

  “That’s bizarre. Sure, we’ll be careful,” Theo said neutrally, then shot me a disbelieving look. Later he told me that he thought the man was making up that story, but that he couldn’t figure out why anyone would. I agreed, shrugging my shoulders.

  On our last night in town, we went out to dinner, and had the second awkward moment. We were perusing our menus when a voice said, “Theo?”

  I knew that voice. I looked up to see Aspen standing there. Worse, she wasn’t alone. She was holding a little girl that looked about three or so. A beautiful girl with brown hair and blue eyes.

  All the blood drained out of my face, and Theo’s.

  Elle looked at her with interest. “You must be Aspen?” Theo shot her an unhappy look, then gave me an accusing one that said I’d told. I shrugged and made a face in response that said I hadn’t.