My Soul Loves

by Barbara Gee

  I pulled him to a stop outside the doors. “I appreciate the thought, Jude, but I’m not going to make you sit through a movie just because you think I need cheering up.”

  “I planned this before I even knew you called your mom. I picked that restaurant because it’s close to the theater.”

  “You planned to take me to a movie?” I asked, still not believing it.

  “I did. I thought you’d enjoy it.”

  “I’d enjoy doing most anything with you,” I told him, “but not if you’re going to be miserable. I’d rather do something we both want to do.”

  “Come on, Ava, let me be a gentleman and sacrifice my happiness for yours,” he teased, his eyes glinting as he smiled. Then he put his mouth close to my ear. “If we sit toward the back we can make out a little. That’ll make it bearable.”

  I laughed. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re not in high school.”

  He shrugged. “You know the saying. You’re only as old as you feel.”

  “Okay,” I said, grinning at him. “We’ll sit in the back, but I pick the movie.”

  “Deal. I won’t be watching it anyway.”

  Chapter 17

  Idid my best to put Abigail out of my head for the next week. Thankfully I was able to keep working with Todd and Desmond, so I didn’t have any contact with her. Ian checked in every so often, but I made sure to keep it all business. Whenever he asked about my move, or my house, or my door—which Jude and Chase had expertly installed—I gave short answers and changed the subject back to work. We had a bid deadline on a new job coming up and I was dreading that, but at least our collaboration would be via video, rather than face to face.

  I was putting in plenty of hours in the office, but I was finding it much easier to find the work-to-life balance that had been so elusive the past few years. The key to that was having a man like Jude Keller in my life, which made me want as much down time as I could get.

  We’d spent every evening together this week, two of them with Hannah and Chase, who swore us to secrecy and then finally told us about the pregnancy.

  We acted appropriately surprised, but within five minutes Jude had confessed we’d known pretty much as long as they had. He of course blamed it on poor Lulu, who stared at him with accusing eyes before trotting off to sulk.

  On Saturday morning, I kept the office door locked—with me outside of it. I didn’t even check my email. Instead I showered and spent extra time on my hair and makeup, because I was planning to spend the whole day with Jude. Last night, when we’d talked about plans for the weekend, he’d reluctantly told me he needed to put in good day of work at his house, cleaning up after his subcontractors and working on the landscaping, which was getting away from him.

  Since I’d taken up so much of his time the last couple weeks, I insisted he let me help. Thankfully he hadn’t been hard to convince. I could tell he wanted me there, and that made me one happy gal.

  I was going to meet him in Mountain View for a late breakfast first, then we’d go to his house and get to work.

  ***

  I never knew I could enjoy cleaning and weeding so much—I certainly never had before—but working with Jude was a pleasure. For the first hour we worked at getting the worst of the dust off the new drywall in the bedrooms and bathrooms, then we swept wood scraps from the shiny new floors, mopped the new tile in the bathrooms, and vacuumed the frizzles from the new carpet in the upstairs bedrooms.

  After that, we wandered around the rooms with a bunch of paint color strips, each of us picking our two favorites for each room and writing them down, without letting the other see. When we’d gone through every room, we sat down on the floor, leaning back against the living room wall with our shoulders pressed together, and compared our choices.

  We’d both gone with a fairly neutral palette, and Jude was surprised by that. He told me he thought I’d go with bolder, brighter colors, and I informed him I preferred getting color from accents rather than the paint, since accent pieces were easier to change out if I got tired of a particular color.

  When we finished the comparison, he snatched my paper from my fingers with a smile and folded it up with his, saying he wanted to give it more thought.

  We moved out to the backyard next, which I hadn’t seen on my last visit due to getting distracted by Harv’s phone call. It was a large grassy area, surprisingly level and clear of any trees. When I remarked on that, Jude admitted a little sheepishly that he’d cleared, leveled, and seeded the area soon after he moved in, because he thought it would be fun to have a place to play soccer and baseball with his kids one day. He figured he might as well get a good crop of grass growing in the meantime.

  I immediately pictured dark-haired mini Judes racing after a soccer ball while he cheered them on and guarded the goal. The picture made my heart feel a little too big for my chest—a feeling I got a lot when I was with him.

  While he worked at trimming some trees and shrubs at the corners of the yard, I tackled the very weedy flower beds running the length of the house. The beds had quite a few nice flowers and plants mixed with the weeds, perennials of some kind I guessed, since they looked like they’d been there for a while rather than recently planted.

  After an hour or so, Jude informed me that brunch had worn off and he was hungry again. We debated running into town to eat, but I felt too scruffy for that. He suggested he go pick something up and bring it back to the house, and that sounded better.

  I finished up the flower bed while he was gone and was proud of how much better it looked. I needed to do the same thing at my own house soon, before the weeds completely swallowed up Grandma’s prized flowers.

  Jude brought back bacon cheeseburgers and sweet potato fries, and we ate back the calories we’d burned with all our hard work. When we were cleaning up our trash, Jude snapped his fingers and lamented that he’d forgotten to stop at his mailbox at the end of the lane. He told me not to let him forget on the way out, because he hadn’t picked it up for five days and the mail lady got cranky if the box got stuffed too full.

  I could do better than that. I was up for a walk after my big lunch, so I told him I’d stroll down to get the mail while he found something else to do. He didn’t fight me on that, and was measuring stuff in the kitchen when I left.

  It was a beautiful walk and I took my time, enjoying the peacefulness of the forest. Pretty soon I started imagining what it would be like to live there with Jude. I decided it would be totally doable, even though I’d miss my house.

  I took a deep breath of mountain air and smiled. Yeah. Totally doable.

  I reached the mailbox, and as Jude had suspected, it was stuffed full. A few letters dropped when I pulled it all out, and I picked them up, smiling when I saw one addressed to Jude Paul Keller. So that was his middle name. I hadn’t gotten around to asking him that yet.

  I wrapped a sales flyer around the bundle of letters to keep them contained, then meandered back to the house. We worked in the front yard when I returned, and I made good progress on the flower beds there while Jude mowed the grass with a big, fancy, green mower he proudly described as a zero-turn model. He went way faster than I thought was safe, but he was perfectly at ease and I decided he’d done it often enough to know what he was doing.

  He did the front yard first, then moved to the back. After a while I walked around the house to check on his progress, grabbing two bottles of water out of the cooler on the front porch on my way past.

  When I rounded the corner, I was met with the very agreeable sight of a shirtless Jude, arm and shoulder muscles rippling as he worked the levers on the mower, which took the place of a steering wheel. He was moving away from me, and I watched him the whole length of the yard, then started walking again when he made the turn so he wouldn’t see me gawking.

  The only problem was, I glanced back over at him and caught a front view, making me almost trip over my own feet, which kinda gave away the fact that I was not only looking, but also rather dis
tracted by the view.

  I sank down on the top step of the deck and unscrewed my water bottle, taking a long and much-needed ice-cold drink.

  He stopped the mower when he got to the edge of the yard, pulling on his light blue T-shirt as he walked toward me. I met his eyes and smiled guiltily. He didn’t comment, but he had a knowing look in his eyes.

  Yep. He knew I’d been looking.

  “Thanks,” he said, accepting the bottle I held out to him. He finished half of it without taking a breath, then raised the hem of his shirt to wipe his forehead, giving me another glimpse of those hard, tanned abs.

  “Grass is looking good,” I said, making conversation.

  “Yeah, it’s good we came today. If it was any longer I’d have had to put the bagger on. That makes the job take twice as long.”

  “Do you always do all the yard work yourself? You don’t hire a service?”

  He chuckled. “That would cost a fortune. Plus, I like doing it. It’s relaxing for me. I’m glad for your help, though. It’s hard for me to keep up with it when I’m not living here. Believe it or not, my flower beds aren’t usually so bad.”

  “It’s a beautiful place, Jude. I like the idea of you being able to come here after a long day at work. It’s like a retreat.”

  He grinned and shrugged. “I don’t know, I’ve kind of enjoyed coming home to something different the last couple weeks.”

  He meant me, and I felt my whole body grow warm at the look in his blue eyes.

  “I’ve enjoyed it too,” I said, relieved when my voice didn’t sound as breathless as I felt.

  He finished his water and I took the empty bottle from him.

  “I have about twenty minutes left back here. That okay?”

  I nodded. “That’ll give me a chance to finish the big bed up front.”

  I headed back toward the front of the house as he started the mower and took off across the yard.

  I refused to let myself look to see whether the shirt came off again. But I wanted to.

  ***

  We got back to Hidden Creek and decided to go to our respective houses to shower and change before figuring out what to do for dinner. I started up my front porch steps, but he grabbed my hand and stopped me on the second step. I turned around, my eyes almost level with his for a change.

  He planted a hard kiss right on my lips. “Thanks for your help today. Getting all that done is a load off my mind.”

  I smiled and couldn’t resist leaning forward for another kiss—which was a lot easier when I was the same height as him. “You’re welcome. I had fun.”

  Our lips touched again. Lingered. He pulled slowly away and smiled. “To be continued,” he muttered. “Be back in a bit.”

  I watched him as he walked over to the Owens’ house. Then I hurried inside to make sure I was ready when he came back.

  I’d been sweating much of the day, so I washed my hair for the second time. I dried it partway, then pinned back the sides so it wouldn’t get too wild as it dried the rest of the way. I dressed in a medium-blue tunic-style top and comfy white leggings. I wasn’t sure what we were going to do for dinner, but this outfit would work whether we stayed in or went out.

  I went back downstairs and checked out my food supplies while I waited for Jude to come back. If we stayed here, I could either make breakfast for dinner or Caesar salad with grilled chicken—provided Grandma’s grill still worked and had gas in the tank. Or we could go out again, if he preferred.

  He tapped on the back door and I let him in, laughing when he immediately went in for another kiss.

  “Okay, okay, it’s been continued,” I said when I could breathe again. “Now let’s figure out what to do the rest of the evening.”

  He chose breakfast for dinner, so we made pancakes, eggs, and sausage links. We ate out on the deck because the hot day had turned into a perfect evening. Lulu started barking as we were finishing up, and pretty soon Chase was hanging over the fence, asking if we wanted to go downtown with them for some dessert.

  We piled into Hannah’s car and drove to the good old Country Goodness Family Restaurant. I had peanut butter pie, Jude had blueberry pie, Chase had a huge strawberry milkshake with whipped cream, and Hannah had two orders of molten chocolate cake. One for her and one for the baby, of course.

  We talked and ate and laughed for a long time, only leaving when the place closed. Hannah declared our time had been cut short and insisted I join them for lunch tomorrow. It didn’t take much convincing.

  On the short drive back home, I realized I was more content than I could ever remember being. I loved Hidden Creek. I loved living here. I loved having two great new neighbors who had become good friends. And I loved the man I was snuggled up to in the back seat.

  I did. I loved him. I’d asked myself a hundred times if it was possible to fall this quickly, and as we drove home from our simple dessert double date, I knew it was. I was in love with Jude Keller.

  It was only ten-fifteen when the Owens dropped us off at my house, but Jude and I were both too tired to extend the day any further. I walked him over to his truck, and he gave me a long, sweet good night kiss. He was smiling when he pulled back, his hands warm on the sides of my head.

  “I’d better say good night. Thanks for making my Saturday perfect.”

  “Mmm. It was perfect,” I agreed, feeling dreamy and dazed, like I always did right after he kissed me. “See you tomorrow at lunch.”

  “Can’t wait. Good night.”

  “Night,” I murmured, missing him already.

  I’d just gotten inside when I remembered I hadn’t gotten my own mail that day. Since I was out of my favorite moisturizer and expecting a new bottle, I hurried out to the mailbox to check for it.

  No package, just a few “or current resident” junk mail pieces.

  Walking back to the house, I thought back to getting Jude’s mail that day. The walk down his long lane had been pleasant, but at this time of night, I was glad my own mailbox was closer.

  I smiled when I remembered the name on his letter. Jude Paul Keller. It fit him. Classy and masculine. Too bad his middle name wasn’t something like Lavern or Arnold so I could tease him a little.

  Something was nagging at me by the time I reached my front door. Something more than just the Abigail thing, which I was still stubbornly refusing to address. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, so I tried to forget it.

  Fifteen minutes later I was in bed, smiling yet again as I thought back over my perfect day. A day with the man I knew I loved.

  Jude Paul Keller. I sighed, my heart full, and then I bolted upright, a sense of dread like I’d never known crashing down on me.

  Jude Paul Keller.

  Jude Paul.

  JP.

  Chapter 18

  Ididn’t sleep.

  I paced around my bedroom. I went downstairs. I made hot chocolate and only drank a few sips. I watered all my plants. I curled up on the couch clutching a pillow. I desperately tried to figure out whether Myla had used initials to avoid giving me the name of the man who broke her heart, or if her guy actually went by JP. If that’s what he actually went by, I was in the clear. I’d never heard a single person call Jude JP. But if she’d been disguising his true identity, then I was very much afraid her JP was my JP.

  The thought made me feel cold as ice and I pulled one of Grandma’s afghans around me.

  I wanted to believe it was all a coincidence—that Jude just happened to have the same initials as Myla’s ex. But everything else fit too well. Jude had moved to Hidden Creek to fill in for Chase’s dad three-and-a-half years ago—making him the “new guy in town” right when Myla’s relationship had started. He was also in the construction field, and he’d told me himself that his last relationship had ended over three years ago and he’d been the one to break it off after a few months.

  Most convincing of all, Jude Paul Keller was exactly the kind of man who could drive a woman away from the home she loved when he bro
ke her heart. For the first time, I understood Myla’s decision. It would be unspeakably hard running into Jude around town, only to be reminded of everything you’d lost.

  As the sun came up, I felt resignation sinking in, along with a bone-deep sadness.

  Jude was JP, and now my future with him depended on Myla…..the girl who still couldn’t talk about him three years later. What were the chances she’d give me her blessing to be with him?

  Way too close to zero, I was afraid, and I didn’t see any way I could be with him if it meant losing my oldest friend. Causing her more pain than she’d already endured was unthinkable.

  I huddled under the afghan and let the tears roll down my cheeks.

  So many times over the past two weeks I’d felt like the whole thing between Jude and me was simply too good to be true.

  Looks like I was right.

  ***

  I dragged myself to the shower, and as the hot water streamed over my weary body, I wondered how in the world it had happened that I’d never mentioned Myla to Jude. If I had, I was sure he would’ve told me about them dating, but somehow, she’d never come up. I’d told him about coming to Hidden Creek as a child, but it had all centered around Grandma. I guess that was natural, since everything in my house constantly reminded me of her, while Myla was totally absent.

  If Myla hadn’t gone dark for her TDY it would’ve been different. I would’ve no doubt received texts from her during the times I was with Jude, leading me to tell him about her. But with her being out of touch, that hadn’t happened.

  Now that I thought about it, I’d been so busy with my house, setting up my office, the camera situation, and most of all, Jude, that Myla had barely crossed my mind. Ironically, that’s exactly what had happened when Myla herself had been involved with him. I’d fallen way down in her list of priorities. I’d been hurt and angry at the time, but now it was one more thing I understood.

  Being with Jude had a way of eclipsing everything else.