Finding Gunnar

by Andria Large

  “You know how I got it, yet, I’ve caught you starin’,” he murmurs.

  “Yeah, I’ll admit that I’ve stared at it a couple of times, but it’s because I’m grateful that you survived. I almost lost you for good,” Bowen replies softly.

  Jesus, Bowen’s heart is pounding. Something in Gunnar’s eyes change as he stares at Bowen. Gunnar tosses his hat onto the table and stalks around it to where Bowen is sitting, never taking his intense gaze from him. He bends, grabs Bowen’s chair by the sides of the seat and turns the entire thing so that he’s facing Gunnar. He lowers himself to Bowen’s level, his hazel eyes burning with desire and something else that he can’t put his finger on.

  Without a word, Gunnar grabs Bowen’s face and crushes their lips together. He forces his tongue past Bowen’s lips, kissing him roughly. Bowen moans into his mouth and clutches the front of his T-shirt. God, he wants him so badly. Gunnar is killing me with the kisses that he keeps giving me. I want more than a kiss.

  Gunnar tugs lightly on Bowen’s head, making him get to his feet while they continue to kiss. Gunnar then wraps his arms around Bowen’s waist and pulls them flush against each other. Bowen gasps and slips his arms around Gunnar’s neck. Gunnar turns them and steps forward, making Bowen’s ass hit the edge of the table. He hears the snap of his laptop being closed behind him, and then the sound of it being shoved down the table. Gunnar pushes Bowen onto the table, effectively ending their smoking hot kiss. Bowen lands on his elbows, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.

  Gunnar’s deft fingers open the fly of Bowen’s jeans with one hand while the other shoves his shirt up his chest. His mouth finds Bowen’s nipple and he can’t help the low moan that escapes him. It’s been a while since he was last with someone. He’s not particularly fond of one night stands, and he dumped his last boyfriend four months ago. While Gunnar tortures Bowen’s nipples with his mouth, he grabs hold of his jeans and underwear and yanks them down far enough to free his erection.

  “Shit,” Bowen gasps when Gunnar wraps a hand around his cock and starts stroking it.

  “You’re so fuckin’ sexy,” Gunnar growls before he bites down on Bowen’s nipple, making him jolt and yelp.

  Bowen can feel Gunnar smile against his skin as he starts to lick and kiss his way down his stomach. Bastard. His breath catches when he nips at his hip.

  Oh please put that delicious mouth on my cock.

  Gunnar must have read his mind because he flicks his tongue over the tip a few times before using a flat tongue to lick up the underside of his dick. Bowen lets out a long drawn out moan and drops his head back on his shoulders.

  “Fuck. You keep makin’ noises like that and I’m gonna jizz in my shorts,” he murmurs before taking Bowen into his mouth all the way down to the base.

  “Gunnar!” Bowen chokes and grabs onto Gunnar’s head with one hand.

  Gunnar’s head and hand start to bob in unison, his mouth forming a tight suction around the shaft, while his tongue swirls around the head on every upstroke.

  “Oh my god,” Bowen breathes. He forgot how good Gunnar was at blow jobs.

  Using his hand on Gunnar’s head, he guides him to the rhythm he wants. Gunnar’s free hand roams over his stomach and up to his chest where he digs his blunt nails into Bowen’s pec. Bowen’s body coils tightly and he can feel his orgasm building quickly.

  “I’m close,” he pants.

  Gunnar hums around him and doubles his efforts, quickening his pace. Bowen's abs contract as his orgasm barrels through him. He lets out a guttural shout that echoes through the open room as he comes hard into Gunnar’s mouth. Gunnar continues to suck him until he collapses fully onto the table, his body trembling. Gunnar kisses his way up his body until he reaches Bowen’s lips.

  He places a soft lingering kiss there and whispers, “That was fuckin’ hot.”

  “Yeah,” Bowen wheezes, unable to move.

  After taking a minute to recover, Bowen holds out his hand. “Help me up?”

  Gunnar chuckles and takes hold, pulling him up into a sitting position. He hops down off the table and rights his clothes. When he looks at Gunnar, he finds him watching Bowen with a hungry look in his heavy-lidded eyes. He’s got the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth and he’s lazily stroking and squeezing his dick through his gym shorts. Bowen’s never seen a more erotic sight.

  As Bowen zips his jeans up, he jerks his chin in Gunnar’s direction. “Want me to take care of that for ya?”

  “Fuck yes,” he hisses.

  Bowen gives him what he hopes is a sensual smile before sinking to his knees in front of him. Gunnar curses under his breath as Bowen yanks down his shorts and briefs. His beautiful cock springs free, the tip glistening with pre-cum. Gunnar rips his shirt off and tosses it onto the table. Bowen glides his hands up Gunnar’s thighs until he comes to his hips. He grips him there, holding him still while he teases Gunnar’s cock a little bit. Gunnar tangles his fingers into the hair on top of Bowen’s head and urges him forward.

  Bowen rolls his eyes up to find Gunnar watching him, his lips parted. His eyes flick to Bowen’s and the look of unadulterated need in them has his heart skipping a beat. He plucks Bowen’s glasses from his face and sets them on the table.

  “Don’t tease me, Bowen,” he says, his voice strained.

  “Now it’s okay for you to tease me, but I can’t tease you,” Bowen murmurs, flicking his tongue along the underside of the head of his cock.

  “I tease you verbally, that’s different,” he huffs, his fingers tightening in Bowen’s hair. “Fuck.”

  "You used to love it when I teased you," Bowen murmurs and flicks his tongue over the head again. Gunnar tries to push his hips forward, but Bowen holds him back. “Uh-uh. You’ll get it when I’m ready to give it."

  One thing Gunnar has to learn is that Bowen is no push over in bed. He likes to bottom sometimes, but he’s more of a top, who likes to be in complete control.

  “Dammit! You’re killin’ me,” Gunnar growls.

  Bowen teases him to the point that his cock is actually dripping pre-cum and his whole body is trembling. That’s when he takes him fully into his mouth. Gunnar cries out, his hand landing heavily on the table next to them, as his upper body practically curls forward over Bowen’s head. It only takes a minute for him to shoot his load, his vicious curses bouncing off the walls. Gunnar’s knees give out on him and he slowly slides down Bowen’s body, with his help, of course. Gunnar drapes his arms around Bowen’s neck and presses his forehead to his cheek.

  “Holy fuck,” Gunnar breathes.

  Bowen chuckles and turns his face into his so that he can kiss him on the lips. Gunnar hums and lazily kisses him back.

  “I wanna say that was the best blow job ever, but I don’t remember how all the rest have been,” he mumbles against Bowen’s lips.

  “Gunnar, just shut up, okay?”

  “Okay,” he agrees, kissing Bowen one more time before dropping his head to Bowen’s shoulder. “I need a nap now.”

  “All right. Come on.”

  Bowen helps Gunnar to his feet, fixes his shorts, and helps him put his T-shirt back on. After slipping his glasses back on his face, he follows Gunnar to the couch where he flops down, stretching out along the whole one side of the sectional.

  “Bowen, come cuddle with me,” he demands sleepily, his eyes already closed as he holds his arms out.

  Cocking an eyebrow in surprise, Bowen kicks off his shoes and climbs on top of him. He’s not usually a cuddler. Since Gunnar is on his back, Bowen lies down on his stomach over top of him and rests his head on his chest. Gunnar wraps his arms around Bowen and plants a kiss on top of his head before quickly drifting off to sleep. Bowen stays there for about fifteen minutes, soaking in the affection he’s being given before gently extracting himself from Gunnar’s arms. He watches the man sleep for a minute. God, he’s handsome.

  Going into the kitchen, Bowen grabs disinfectant wipes and cleans off the table.
His bare ass was on it. Once he’s done with that, he gets himself set back up to work. Five minutes later, Bowen realizes he’s just staring at his screen, his mind racing with different questions that have no answers. What the hell am I doing? Gunnar doesn’t even remember who he is. He doesn't remember when we were together. You can’t start something with him when he’s like this. What if he’s got a boyfriend and doesn’t remember? Jesus, that was a really stupid thing for them to do. And damn his heart for still having feelings for him. Fuck me.

  Chapter Ten

  FRIDAY ROLLS around and Gunnar’s starting to feel really good physically. His shoulder and leg are coming along nicely, and he’s continuing to gain weight and some muscle. He and Griffin are in the kitchen, getting breakfast for themselves, while they wait for Bowen to show up.

  “I had a different dream last night,” Gunnar murmurs.

  Griffin pauses, his scrambled eggs momentarily forgotten. “Yeah?”

  Gunnar hums.

  “Was it bad like the other one?”

  “I wouldn’t say it was that bad, but it wasn’t good.” He sighs.

  “Okay,” Griffin drawls, and Gunnar knows he’s waiting for him to elaborate.

  “There’s a movie, I think, where the kid is basically living under the stairs….” He knows that he’s seen the movie, but he can’t remember what movie it is.

  “Harry Potter?” Griffin offers.

  “Maybe? Anyway, it was like that, but it was me being shoved into a dark closet with nothin’ but a blanket. They would lock me in there overnight, sayin’ that they didn’t have enough space for me in one of the other kids’ rooms and they didn’t want me roamin’ around the house.”

  A deep pain blooms in Gunnar’s chest. How could someone treat a kid like that? How much of this abuse did he endure? Does he have any happy memories, or only fucked up ones?

  “Do you know how old you were at the time?” Griffin asks quietly.

  “Six or seven?”

  “Jesus,” he hisses.

  “I guess I never told you that either,” Gunnar scoffs, disgusted with himself. He can’t figure out why he kept everything locked up tight. Why did he keep these things from Griffin?

  “No, you didn’t.” Gunnar can hear the sadness in his tone, and maybe a bit of hurt.

  The front door opens and in walks Bowen. Sexy motherfucker. He’s always dressed so nice. Here Gunnar is in gym shorts and a T-shirt while Bowen has on worn jeans with tears around the knee area, a fitted white V-neck T-shirt, and brown boots. It’s the most casual outfit that he’s worn so far, but he makes it look so fucking stylish with his glasses and hair and the way everything fits his body perfectly.

  “Hey,” Bowen says, placing his laptop bag on the table.

  “Mornin’,” Griffin says distractedly.

  “Hey, Bowen,” Gunnar greets before glancing over at Griffin. “Are you okay, Griff? I didn’t mean to upset ya,” he says to him quietly.

  Griffin shrugs a shoulder. “I know you didn’t. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. We’ll talk later.”

  He scoops his eggs onto a plate then walks over to the table before Gunnar can say anything in return. Gunnar feels horrible. Griffin is obviously hurt that Gunnar didn’t tell him these things before. And again, he has no explanation as to why because he can’t remember.

  Bowen comes into the kitchen and goes to the fridge. He pulls out a bottle of water and takes a long swig. When he places the cap back on the bottle, Gunnar grabs him by the front of his shirt and pulls him in for a quick, yet steamy kiss on the lips. He then shoves him away, sending him a cocky smirk. Bowen’s cheeks flush and his caramel eyes darken with desire as he stares at Gunnar.

  Gunnar doesn’t know what’s going on between them. He doesn’t know if these feelings that he's having are old or new. He doesn't know if this is going to lead anywhere, or if they’re only fucking around for the time being, but he likes Bowen - a lot. When he’s here, Gunnar enjoys being around him, and not just for the sex related things. Then when he leaves, he misses him. Gunnar wants to spend as much time with Bowen as possible, but he has no idea if Bowen feels the same way. Their break up was less than amicable. So, for now, he’s taking this…thing - for lack of a better word - one day at a time.

  “Hi,” Gunnar says.

  “Hey,” Bowen grunts in return.

  “I like that outfit. You look hot.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Do you think after PT today, you can take me by my house?” he asks softly.

  “Yeah, sure,” Bowen replies without hesitation.

  “Cool. I just want to look around, see if it jolts my memory at all.”

  “Okay.” He nods in agreement.

  Griffin brings his empty plate into the kitchen and places it in the sink. “I’m out. Call me if you need anythin’.”

  “Will do,” Bowen replies.

  “Okay,” Gunnar agrees. “Hey, Griff, can you text my address to me?”

  “Sure.”

  “Thanks.”

  Griffin goes to work, leaving Gunnar and Bowen to their own devices. Gunnar eats his breakfast then Bowen drives him to PT. Gunnar catches Bowen watching him multiple times while he’s doing his exercises. All the other days, Bowen hasn’t paid him any mind and mainly worked on his computer. This time, though, he’s been keeping an eye on him.

  The physical therapist pushes Gunnar hard, and he’s struggling by the end of the session. He chugs the bottle of water that the therapist gives him and dries off as best as he can with his towel before slinging it over one shoulder.

  “Good job, Gunnar. You’re progressing quickly,” his therapist says.

  “Thanks,” Gunnar pants.

  “See you Monday?”

  “Yep,” Gunnar responds then heads for where Bowen is sitting. He’s staring down at his computer screen when Gunnar stops in front of him.

  “All done?” Bowen asks without looking up.

  “Yeah, let’s go.”

  Bowen snaps his laptop shut and slips it back into his bag. He slings the strap over his shoulder as he stands, his gaze finally meeting Gunnar’s as he hands him his hat, which has been sitting on the chair next to him.

  “You’re getting much stronger,” he says, a hint of pride in his tone.

  Gunnar sends him a wink and a cocky smirk while adjusting his hat backward on his head. “I can show you how much stronger I’ve gotten later if you’d like.”

  The bored look Bowen gives Gunnar has him laughing.

  They make their way to Bowen’s car. Gunnar is trailing behind slightly because he’s beat, so he’s taking the opportunity to check out Bowen’s ass in those sexy as fuck jeans. Oh man, the things he wants to do to him and that taut round ass of his.

  Once in the car, Gunnar groans. His whole body aches. Muscles he didn’t know he had are sore. Bowen sends him a concerned glance.

  “Are you sure you want to go to your house right now?”

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  “We could always go over later after you take a nap.”

  “No, I want to go now,” Gunnar insists.

  “All right.”

  Bowen types Gunnar’s address into the GPS on his dashboard. It’s only a fifteen minutes drive from where they’re at. Gunnar’s stomach flips with excitement and a little bit of nervousness. He’s hoping that seeing his house the second time around will help his memory. Especially since he’s been having those dreams.

  “Hey, we’re here,” Bowen’s gravelly southern drawl says as he pats Gunnar's thigh.

  Gunnar drags his heavy eyelids open. “Shit, did I fall asleep?” He looks over at Bowen to find him watching him with a tender smile on his handsome face.

  “Yes. As soon as I pulled out of the lot, you were a goner.” Bowen chuckles.

  Gunnar scrubs his face roughly and pulls in a deep breath before glancing out the car window. Although the house looks familiar, he knows it’s only because he saw it when he first got back to Texas with Griffi
n, and they stopped to pick up his clothes.

  Bowen and Gunnar get out of the car and walk up the path that leads from the driveway to the front porch. Griffin told him that he had the house built from the frame of an old log cabin from back in the Pioneer days. He definitely feels drawn to the house, as if something deep inside of him is attracted to it.

  “Do you have a key?” Bowen asks.

  Gunnar lifts an eyebrow. “You ask me that now?”

  “I just thought of it.” He shrugs.

  Gunnar pulls the key from his pocket. He laughed when Griffin first gave it to him because the keychain is a rooster that’s standing on the word ‘Cock.’ Sliding it into the deadbolt first, then the knob, he unlocks the door and pushes it open.

  Happiness and contentment wash over him. Obviously something inside of him recognizes this place if it fills him with such joy from simply stepping inside. Bowen lets him lead the way. A large staircase stands right in front of them. On the left is a decent-sized office and a hallway that leads to the kitchen. On the right is a large living room. The whole place has a rustic and homey feel to it even though everything is modernized.

  Gunnar starts in the office. Sitting down in the chair at the desk, he lets his gaze linger over everything spread out in front of him - the computer, the ARMY mouse pad, a stack of yellow Post-it notes. Everything is neat and in its place.

  A picture frame to the right of the computer catches his eye, and he picks it up to take a closer look at it. It’s of a much younger Gunnar and Griffin. They’re decked out in full combat gear, grinning like a couple of assholes in front of a tank. Gunnar smiles. This was taken during their first deployment after boot camp.

  Gunnar gasps and shoots up out of the chair, frame still in hand. “Bowen!” he yells, not realizing that he’s standing only a few feet away.

  He jerks in surprise. “What? What is it?”

  “I remembered! I remembered when this picture was taken!” He shoves the picture in his face.

  Bowen’s eyes widen as a big grin encompasses his handsome face. “Ya do?”