Finding Gunnar

by Andria Large

  “I swear! This was taken during our first deployment!”

  Bowen’s smile softens into something more affectionate. “That’s fuckin’ amazing, Gunnar.”

  “I gotta go see if anything else jogs my memory,” Gunnar says frantically and races out of the room.

  Bowen watches him, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he bolts into the living room to look at other pictures and knickknacks, all while holding the original photo. Most of the other pictures are either of just Gunnar, or Gunnar and Griffin. He can’t recall where or when any of them were taken. There are a couple with large groups of soldiers, but no one stands out as familiar.

  “What the fuck,” he mutters, frustration kicking in.

  Bowen appears next to him and places a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t we call it a day?”

  “No. I need to remember more,” Gunnar replies, wrenching away from his grasp. That is definitely not what he wants to hear right now.

  “You remembered somethin’. That in and of itself is a huge step forward. You can’t force it, Gunnar.”

  “This is my life starin’ me in the face and I don’t recall any of it,” he barks, gesturing around wildly. “One picture is not enough for me, Bowen.”

  “The more frustrated you get, the less likely you are to remember. The best thing to do right now is to walk away. We can come back in a day or two.”

  “Goddammit!” Gunnar snarls and kicks the nearest couch.

  “You need time, Gunnar. It’s not all going to come rushing back to you at once.”

  “I hate this! I hate every fuckin’ minute of this!” Gunnar shouts, throwing the picture frame in his hand at the wall.

  The glass shatters as the frame falls to the floor next to the couch. Gunnar looks around for something else to destroy. The lamp looks like a good thing to throw. As he reaches for it, Bowen’s strong arms wrap around him from behind, holding his arms down at his sides.

  “No, Gunnar, stop,” he says, his voice calm.

  “Let me go,” Gunnar growls.

  “No, you’re not going to destroy your things because you’re mad. Now calm yourself.”

  Gunnar struggles for a moment to get out of Bowen’s grasp, but he refuses to budge. If Gunnar was back at full strength, he could have gotten out of Bowen’s grip with ease. He also doesn’t want to fight with Bowen. He knows that he’s doing this for his own good, even if he hates it. Gunnar finally gives up and hangs his head with a resigned sigh. Slowly, Bowen releases him and turns him around so that he can hug him. Gunnar pulls in a deep breath as he snakes his arms around Bowen’s waist and drops his forehead to his shoulder.

  “It’s not fair,” Gunnar whispers.

  “I know, Babe,” Bowen murmurs and gently squeezes the back of Gunnar’s neck.

  Gunnar gets his fill of loving from Bowen then lifts his head to look at him. “Guess I better clean that glass up.” He grimaces.

  “I’ll help you.”

  Gunnar nods solemnly. They work together to clean up the broken glass and frame. Gunnar removes the picture and tucks it in his pocket so he can show Griffin later. Once everything is clean, they lock the house and head out to Bowen’s car.

  As Bowen starts the car and turns to look over his shoulder as he backs up, his eyes meet Gunnar’s. He gives him a soft smile and Gunnar is stunned by what he sees in the other man’s eyes. Shit, it looks a lot like love.

  ***

  Gunnar follows Bowen through Griffin’s front door. The ride back was silent, with both of them lost in their own thoughts. Gunnar is still aggravated about only being able to remember that one picture. Bowen goes right to the table to set his laptop bag down. Gunnar follows him and takes the picture out of his pocket, setting it on the table too.

  Wanting to thank Bowen for helping him control himself at the house, he grabs him by the front of his shirt and kisses him hard. It takes Bowen a second to realize what’s happening to him and respond. He clutches the sides of Gunnar’s face, returning the kiss just as urgently. Gunnar snakes his arms around his waist so his hands can cup the man’s fine ass and tug his body snug against his.

  His heart pounds and his stomach flips. Fuck, I love kissing him. He sweeps his tongue into Bowen’s mouth and rolls his hips. Gunnar moans. Bowen suddenly wrenches away, breathing heavily.

  “Wait.”

  “What? No. No waiting. I want you,” he pants, moving down to lick a line from his ear down to his collarbone.

  Bowen's breath catches and his body shudders against Gunnar’s.

  “What if…what if you have a boyfriend or something that you don’t remember?”

  “Then they're a shitty ass boyfriend,” Gunnar grumbles, nipping at his neck.

  “Huh? Why?”

  “Because…” Gunnar lifts his head from Bowen’s neck to look him in the eyes. “They wouldn’t have heard from me in months. That’s a long fucking time. I’m sure Griffin would have gotten a call from a concerned someone, if there were anyone.”

  Bowen nods quickly. “Yeah, true.”

  “No more talking,” Gunnar whispers against his lips, removing his glasses and placing them on the table before kissing him roughly.

  Bowen moans and plucks Gunnar’s hat from his head, tossing it away. He walks him backward as he pushes his hands up under Gunnar’s T-shirt. Gunnar hums his approval as warm fingers roam over his stomach and lower back. The next thing he knows, his back is pressed up against a wall with Bowen holding his wrists above his head with one hand. His free hand is rubbing Gunnar through his shorts.

  “One thing you forget about me is I’m no submissive in bed,” Bowen purrs, sending a shiver of anticipation down Gunnar’s spine.

  “I can handle that.”

  Bowen’s caramel eyes darken and one side of his mouth lifts into a cocky grin that sends a jolt of need right to Gunnar's cock. “You think so?”

  “I fucking know so,” Gunnar snarls.

  “Okay then,” Bowen says lightly, “Get in the shower.”

  He lets Gunnar’s wrists go and motions with his head to the open doorway next to them. Gunnar lifts and eyebrow at him. “Only if you get in with me.”

  He nods. “I’m getting in, too.”

  They enter the bathroom and Bowen shuts and locks the door while Gunnar turns on the shower. While waiting for the water to warm up, they both undress, their eyes locked on each other’s body. Gunnar steps in first, followed by Bowen. He closes his eyes and lets the hot water beat down on his tired muscles. Bowen’s arms twine around his waist as he presses the front of his body against Gunnar’s, trapping their erections between them. Bowen nips at his bottom lip before running his tongue across it to soothe the little sting from his teeth.

  “Let’s get you clean,” Bowen murmurs.

  Gunnar hums his agreement.

  Bowen turns them so his back is to the water then grabs the bar of soap and starts rubbing it around Gunnar's back. His other hand follows, smoothing the suds around from his upper to lower back. He then dips his hand down Gunnar’s crack, working the lather farther and farther down until he reaches his hole. Gunnar gasps when Bowen presses his middle finger against it. Gunnar’s cock throbs with desire against their stomachs.

  “Fuck, Bowen,” he bites out.

  “Oh, did that feel good?”

  Gunnar huffs out a sharp breath. “Yes,” he moans. “Do more.”

  “Mmm, not quite yet.”

  Gunnar makes an aggravated noise, which in turn makes Bowen chuckle darkly. Fucker. Bowen lets Gunnar go and pushes him back so that he’s leaning against the opposite wall of the shower, the cold tile doing nothing to cool his burning skin. Bowen then continues cleaning his body. He does everything but Gunnar’s dick, which is now painfully hard with a line of pre-cum streaming from the tip.

  Bowen finally wraps his soapy hand around Gunnar’s cock causing him to let out a strangled cry of relief as closes his eyes. He gives his shaft a few lazy pumps before going lower to cup and massage his balls. P
lanting a hand on the tile next to Gunnar’s head, Bowen leans in and gives him a languid kiss.

  “Put your foot on the edge,” Bowen commands softly.

  Gunnar does as he’s told and lifts his left foot onto the tub’s edge. Bowen then slips the hand that was playing with his balls over the perineum to his asshole, immediately slipping his long middle finger inside of him. Gunnar gasps, his eyes flying open. He’s met with Bowen’s burning gaze. He fucks him slowly with his finger, letting Gunnar feel every inch of it. He then curls his finger, finding his prostate. Gunnar moans and drops his head back against the wall, his eyes fluttering shut again.

  Bowen inserts another finger, stretching him. He curls both fingers against his prostate, making Gunnar shout as pleasure shoots through him, his cock throbbing hard. Bowen nips at his ear lobe as he continues his assault on his prostate.

  “Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you look right now?” he growls.

  Gunnar can only moan in response. Bowen has him under his complete control. Gunnar wraps a hand around his aching dick, giving it a much-needed stroke. He can feel his orgasm building, and fuck, he wants to come so fucking bad.

  “Don’t touch your cock,” Bowen barks.

  “But—“

  “No. You’ll come without touching yourself.”

  “I can’t—“

  “You can and you will. Now remove your hand.”

  Gunnar opens his eyes to look at Bowen, who is staring at him, his expression hard. Shit, he’s not kidding. Gunnar plasters his hands against the wet tile, heeding Bowen’s demands. His eyes never leave Gunnar’s as he works his fingers inside of him, switching between moving them simultaneously and separately over his prostate.

  Gunnar’s whole body starts to tingle and his cock feels like it’s on the verge of exploding. He’s panting so heavily that every breath sounds like a gasp. His abs clench hard, and that’s when it happens. He looks down and watches as cum begins pouring out of the tip of his cock. It doesn’t shoot out like it normally does, it’s more like a river that keeps going. His legs tremble as the rest of his body spasms with what feels like a never-ending orgasm. Bowen doesn’t stop until Gunnar's curled over, hanging onto his shoulders to keep himself from falling to his knees. The top of his head is pressed against Bowen’s chest.

  “Holy fuck, what did you do to me?” Gunnar wheezes.

  “That was a prostate orgasm,” he replies, his tone filled with smug pride.

  “Jesus Christ.”

  “Did it feel good?”

  “Fuck yes,” he breathes.

  “Good. Let’s finish up in here, the water is getting cold. You okay to move?” He chuckles.

  “I think so.”

  Bowen helps Gunnar straighten up then gives him a sweet kiss on the lips. Bowen wasn’t kidding when he said he wasn’t submissive. I fucking like it. Wonder if I liked it before when we were together? He obviously doesn't remember. He does know that he enjoyed the fuck out of Bowen being dominant over him though. Bowen and Gunnar rinse off in the cooling water before Bowen turns it off. He then steps out first and dries off before turning to help Gunnar. His knees are seriously shaking and he accepts Bowen’s help without a word.

  "Have you ever done that to me before?" Gunnar asks.

  One side of Bowen's mouth kicks up. "Ah, yeah. A few times."

  Bowen gathers up their clothes and follows Gunnar into the bedroom. Gunnar tosses his towel on the floor and climbs into bed, lying down on his stomach. He doesn’t think his legs can hold him up any longer. As soon as his head hits the pillow, he can barely keep his eyes open.

  “Bowen, can I get you off later? I’m crashin’ hard here,” he mumbles, half asleep.

  Bowen snickers and plants a kiss on his temple. “Sure, Gunnar.”

  He gives Gunnar’s bare ass a light smack, and then he hears him pulling on his clothes. Gunnar feels bad about not returning the favor, but he just can’t stay awake another minute.

  Chapter Eleven

  BOWEN'S NOT surprised Gunnar passed out like he did. He exerted a lot of energy today, between the physical therapy, remembering the picture at his house, his little melt down, and then the huge orgasm he had in the shower. He didn’t expect him to stay awake after that.

  Griffin walks in the front door as Bowen enters the living room. Griffin gives him a nod hello as he tosses his keys on the dining room table. They land next to the picture Gunnar brought from his house. Griffin sees it and picks it up. He smiles then turns to look at Bowen.

  “Why is this here?” He asks, holding up the photo.

  “Gunnar remembered where and when it was taken. I guess he wanted to show you.”

  Griffin’s eyes widen. “He remembered somethin’ from his past?”

  A proud grin curls his lips. “Yep.”

  “That's incredible! Where is he? I wanna talk to him,” Griffin says.

  “You’re gonna have to wait. He’s conked out right now.” Unable to hide his pleased smirk, he grabs his glasses off of the table and slips them on.

  Griffin cocks an eyebrow at him. “You two are really gettin’ into each other, huh?”

  Bowen shrugs, a flush creeping up his cheeks. “Listen, there's something I should tell you now that Gunnar's out...”

  Griffin's eyebrows crank down. "Okay?"

  “We...ah...we dated for about six months."

  "What? When?" Griffin asks in confusion.

  "Two years ago."

  "Wha...why didn't you ever tell me?"

  "Because Gunnar always refused to come out. That's the reason we broke up. I wanted to tell you but he wouldn't. Tore us apart," Bowen says, sadness in his tone.

  "Did ya love him?" Griffin questions softly.

  "Still love him," Bowen responds.

  Griffin nods in understanding. “And he doesn't remember any of it. I feel ya. Ya know I do," Griffin says, giving Bowen's should a squeeze.

  Bowen nods too. "I'm sorry I never told you, I..."

  "You were being loyal. I understand. Thank you for that."

  Bowen smiles softly.

  “Hey listen, Eva’s comin' over in a little bit. We’re gonna go to Billy Bob’s Honky Tonk. You think you and Gunnar would wanna tag along?”

  “If Gunnar goes, I’ll go. Not tryin’ to be a third wheel.”

  “All right.” Griffin grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge and cracks it open. He takes a swig then asks, “How was Gunnar at PT today?”

  “He’s doin’ good, progressin’ quickly. He pushes himself like no one I’ve ever seen. It’s impressive. I think he’s almost got full range back in his shoulder.”

  Griffin gives him a knowing smile. “That’s Gunnar for ya.”

  Eva shows up an hour later looking pretty in her cut-off shorts, low-cut tank top, and cowgirl boots. Her long dark hair is down and flowing around her shoulders. His brother definitely has a beautiful girl.

  Griffin scoops her up and swings her around when she walks in. She squeals and giggles, wrapping her arms and legs around him. She’s a tiny little thing and Bowen doesn’t think Griffin, who's twice her size and muscular, has to exert much effort in picking her up. Griffin gives her a noisy kiss on the lips before setting her down. Eva sighs happily and brushes her hair out of her face. Bowen smiles, loving the way they are together.

  “Hi, Bowen,” Eva says and gives him a hug and kiss on the cheek.

  “Hey, Eva.”

  She glances around. “Where’s Gunnar?”

  “I’m just about to go wake him up,” Bowen tells her as he make his way down the hallway to Gunnar's room.

  Bowen opens the door and walks over to the bed where it looks like Gunnar hasn’t moved an inch. He’s snoring softly, so at least he knows he’s alive. He places his hand on his back and gives him a gentle shake.

  “Gunnar.”

  His head shoots up as he sucks in a sharp breath. “Huh? What?”

  “Hey.”

  He rolls onto his back and stretches, which of course
, gives Bowen his fill of looking at his glorious body. The man is absolutely stunning. “What’s up?” he mumbles, eyes still closed.

  “Griffin and Eva are going out and asked if we wanted to join them.”

  “Where they goin’?”

  “Billy Bob’s.”

  “What’s Billy Bob’s?”

  “It’s a honky tonk. There’s live music, food, dancin’, booze, a rodeo, and some other stuff.”

  A slow smile creeps across his handsome face. “Ya had me at booze.”

  Bowen laughs. “All right then. Get up and get dressed so we can go.”

  He scrubs his face and rubs the sleep from his eyes. “Okay. Be out in a few.”

  “Okay.”

  Bowen leaves the room to let Gunnar get ready. If he would have stayed a minute longer, he’d be trying to hide a hard on. Gunnar was laying there, his own erection on display. If they weren’t going out, Bowen would have saved a horse and rode a cowboy.

  When he returns to the living room, he finds Griffin and Eva making out. She’s sitting on the dining room table with him standing between her spread knees. Bowen clears his throat to let them know that he’s there. Griffin ends their kiss and glances over his shoulder at him.

  “Well?”

  “We’ll go. He’s gettin’ ready.”

  Griffin smiles. “Good.”

  Bowen sits on the couch, pulling out his cell phone to check some emails while they wait.

  Fifteen minutes later, Gunnar emerges from the hallway. “All right! I’m ready to go!” he calls, clapping his hands together.

  Bowen stands, slips his phone back in his pocket, and turns around to face everyone. Damn, Gunnar looks fine. He’s got on a snug white T-shirt that has a distressed American flag across the chest, worn jeans, and brown leather, square-toed cowboy boots under his jeans. And of course, his backward white hat. He’s definitely built up some muscle since he first got home. His biceps are beginning to stretch the sleeves of his shirt.

  “Great. Let’s get going. I’m starving,” Griffin says, taking Eva’s hand as he moves toward the front door.

  Gunnar looks at Bowen and lifts an eyebrow. “Don’t expect me to hold your hand. I don’t do shit like that in public.”