Hasty Resolution

by Mullens, Sam Taylor

  “I love you so much,” he says as he continues to slide in and out of my wetness.

  My gaze slides down his torso and then back to his eyes. “Oh, I love you too, Jake.”

  My mouth fuses to his. I push myself tightly against him while he is deep inside of me. I grip his shoulders, lifting and lowering my hips. I cry out as we climax together. Every muscle in my body tightens as I throw my head back.

  My fear of never being with him again was in vain. I cannot believe the foolish thought ever crossed my mind. I can feel myself breathe within his arms. My body lies over Jake and his arms caress me in an embrace. The rays of sun shine through the shutters, bathing us in the light of day.

  Chapter 48: Mike

  “Mr. Parker, here’s your receipt. We removed three laurel bushes, two Rose of Sharon bushes, and two lilac bushes along with ninety-seven varieties of perennials,” the young man working for the landscape company says to me as I puff on a cigar.

  Liz hated the smell of my cigars; now that she is gone, I suck away whenever and wherever I want.

  Liz isn’t here to care for the yard. I don’t know what everything is called and how to care for it the way Liz did, so I hired someone to dig up the flowerbeds in her absence. If a plant in the yard had a blossoming bud, I had it removed.

  “We covered your flower beds with bark. I just need to have you sign on the bottom line to have us come back to continue caring for the lawn this season,” the young man says as he hands over a clipboard and pen.

  I sign the form and hand the clipboard back. “This includes maintaining trees and bushes, right?” I ask.

  “Yes, it does. Our crews will come trim your bushes, prune your trees, and keep the weeds pulled monthly. Your lawn will be cut and edged weekly.”

  Liz did all of the yard work. It was quite embarrassing how she would fuss over the yard as much as she did. Liz had every hand tool available from the local gardening store stored in the back of the garage. I had the neighbors take everything to use in their own yards. Every small engine Liz purchased to maintain the yard had an easy start sticker. No major machinery used to maintain the ornate yard, so those, too, were distributed among neighbors.

  “Oh, sir.” The young man runs to the driveway. “We found these in your yard while we were cleaning.”

  The young man has a hand trowel and gardening gloves in his hand.

  “Throw them in the garbage. I have no need for them,” I say.

  The young man tosses the items into the trailer along with the piles of bushes and perennials removed from the yard. Liz would cringe over the sight of her yard dismantled. I spitefully smile as the truck hauling an overloaded trailer pulls away from the cul-de-sac. Damn you, Liz!

  The kids are doing their own thing in their bedrooms when I roll my suitcase down the driveway and stow it in the trunk along with my golf clubs. My mom pulls into the driveway as I collect my electronics for my business trip.

  For now, all my devices are in my possession. The police randomly monitor them. I voluntarily hand all electronics over with all my user names and passwords. The police still have in their possession Liz’s phone and her tattered shoe as evidence in their cold case of a missing person. My family and Liz’s family continue to be scrutinized by the police. We all live under a cloud of suspicion, especially me.

  “Thanks for coming, Mom. I have to begin a conference in Georgia on Monday, two time zones away, and Liz’s parents had other commitments, so they cannot hang out with the kids. I’m sure the kids would have been okay on their own, but it helps to have someone here after the weekend to get them off to school."

  “It’s no problem. I am more than happy to help,” she says, standing in the driveway. “You know, Mike, maybe it is better this way, without Liz,” my mom adds.

  “Mom, the kids are devastated Liz isn’t here. It’s terribly inconvenient for me, plus, if I get one more phone call asking if Liz is going to be teaching next fall, I am going to explode.”

  I toss my laptop in the back seat of the car.

  “What I meant to say is that Liz was never right for you. The two of you are complete opposites. She never fit into our family. She never belonged with us. She is pretty, I’ll give her that much, but she’s not the kind of girl I imagined you would marry. Now, it’s like you’re not.”

  Liz and my mother never got along from the day we got married and it escalated downward. My mom was mean to her, barking orders at Liz all the time. Liz knew she was deliberately excluded from my family. My mom was not shy about telling Liz she never should have married me, that we just weren’t right for each other. I never told my mom to knock it off because, well, she is my mom. Liz knew she took second place when it came to my family.

  “This is your chance to find someone, son.”

  I cut my mother off. “Someone who is the opposite of Liz?”

  “Sure, if that would make you happy. Liz was always pushing you to do more, to be more. She was never content or satisfied, always trying to make you do things you never had an interest in.”

  “Mom, all I know is the kids don’t like to be left alone now that Liz is gone. If she could have waited another year or two, I think they would have been all right. I’m just thrilled I am not being falsely accused of dumping her body in a landfill or burning her bones in the hillsides. She’s gone and I still have a job to do. I know it is normal to look at the husband in a case like this, but I’m tired of it all.”

  I point to the house. “The kids are inside. They’ll let you know what they need. I have to go now. I have a plane to catch. You have my number and the kids can text me.” I lean in to give my mom a kiss on the cheek before getting into my car.

  “Mike, I’m just saying that Liz being gone isn’t a bad thing. Start finding happiness again. Think of it as if she died last summer and it’s now spring with blossoms on the trees. It’s a chance for you to begin again without her infringing on you.”

  I wave to Mom before I pull out of the driveway. Little did she know I already have moved on without Liz. Last fall when there was no sign of Liz, I resumed going on business trips with my assistant without guilt. I am now able to screw my assistant without worrying Liz will find out, even though she already knew. I am able to have my assistant come to my home office and have full access to the house.

  I’m just waiting for the respectable moment to marry my assistant. It will look bad if I marry her too soon. I’ve already met with a lawyer to dissolve the marriage between Liz and me.

  This girl is opposite of Liz. She is tall with dark brunette hair and fills in a D cup nicely. She is submissive, meek and mild, yet sultry and seductive. I’m sure my mom will welcome her into the family because she is the epitome of who my mother would want me to be with. She is just like all the other girls I dated before Liz.

  Chapter 49: Jake

  The lake melts every day with spring warming the air. Blocks of ice float on the lake and the water is quite cold when I pull the fourteen-foot kayak out of the high rafters in the garage. I want to see if it needs any repairs. It has been many years since I used it. Liz is by my side as I examine it. I’m glad she is out of the cabin. It’s good to have her next to me, by my side again. I have her blue eyes to look at when my demons reappear in my mind. Liz always brings me comfort. She is still the best distraction.

  Last time I went out in the kayak, I had Doug with me, so I need to adjust the seat for one person rather than two. As I lean over, Liz notices what I am doing.

  “Are you going out by yourself on the lake?” she asks as I straddle the kayak. “Do you not want me to come with you?” she asks with despondency in her eyes.

  “I would love for you to come out with me in this kayak.”

  Her face glows. There’s nothing more that I want than Liz to be by my side whenever possible.

  “I just didn’t think you would want to risk tipping over in the cold water.”

  I’m trained to sustain the ice-cold water, Liz is not. This was a harsh
winter for Liz; first the delusional hunter coming back to terrorize her, me trying to take her home at an unplanned time, horrible house guests, and then finally the loss of our baby; something I think she wanted as much as I did. I can’t admit to Liz I still want it to happen.

  I took Liz snowshoeing many times this winter, but I don’t think she loved it. She was miserable in the cold, but never admitted it. Liz was a trooper through it all, but I will never put her through it again. Every chance I get, I am on the phone with Heather, arranging to move into the house in San Diego next winter. We can visit the cabin, check on the place, but I won’t make Liz stay here for extended periods of time in the winter. It’s not worth it if she is uncomfortable.

  “I’ll go out on the lake with you. I want to be where you are,” she says.

  “I’d like that. I have a full body suit that may fit you.”

  “Jake,” she says with a rueful smile, “you won’t tip the kayak, not with me. We’re not going on white water. It’s just the lake. Everything will be fine.”

  I cup her face in my hands and draw her in for a kiss. “Of course, everything is fine when you’re with me.”

  “Sorry, I’ve been such a pain in the ass this winter,” Liz whispers with her hands wrapped around my waist.

  I hold onto her face. “You were not a pain in the ass. I love you, Liz. I would do anything for you. You gave me purpose when I didn’t have hope. You help drive the demons from my mind. You calm everything around me down. I love you being with me. It hurts to think about the day when I can’t have you by my side.”

  “Jake, how many more deployments can you defer and still be an active Marine?” Liz asks.

  My heart sinks. Liz knows more letters have come. I didn’t think she would ask. Now I have to say the words aloud. “I’m not sure if I’m ready yet.”

  “Is it that you’re not ready to return yet or you’re not ready to be without me?”

  Trapped deep within me, I hold the answer.

  “Both,” I finally say.

  “Liz, I would spend endless hours with guys, become real close, know everything there is to know about them. Then before I knew it, I would carry their wounded or lifeless body back to base. I had to let go of them in a gruesome way. I know you’re not a soldier, I understand it’s not the same, but I just don’t want to stop what we have too soon.”

  Liz stands on the tips of her toes and kisses me. Her eyes look at me in understanding, as they always do.

  Liz doesn’t press further as I readjust the seat for two people. The kayak does not need any repairs, so we can take it out on the water today. The wet suit is a little big for Liz, but it does the trick. The afternoon is warming, the wind calming. Liz sits in the kayak on the muddy bank of the lake as I push us off. Liz holds onto the double-bladed paddles.

  The kayak skates off the bank as I perch myself into the cockpit to gain stability. I begin paddling around the lake, making sure Liz and I can balance the kayak out together. It feels good being out on the water with Liz after such a long winter. I spend an hour just getting used to the feel of the kayak again in the calm conditions.

  I start to dig in the water and then stroke even harder. Along the banks of the lake, I see everything coming alive that was dormant through the winter months.

  When we approach the area where a small river spills into the lake, Liz stops paddling to look at the murky water.

  “Is that a muskrat?” Liz points at the dark waters.

  I take a closer look.

  “It has a flat tail. It must be a beaver,” I say over my shoulder.

  I look to the river, only to discover a dam built into the sloping riverbank. There is a collection nearby of chewed tree stumps. I look over my shoulder to see Liz’s mouth drop open in amazement as she watches the beavers slide into the water from both sides of the river, accessing the water. Some beavers swim away from the kayak while others glide right next to us. Some spank the water as if they are mad at us. We sit motionless in the kayak as we watch more and more beavers swim around us in circles and continue to slap water. They appear to be angry at us for intruding on their space. We can feel the spray from their twisting dances of anger. We float among their ensnarement in total astonishment. Liz is a little frightened. I, too, am a little startled by the encounter.

  A large beaver charges the kayak. It places its paw on the boat as if to say, “Back off!” It chatters to the other beavers as it realizes we aren’t a threat.

  I lean over and reach my hand out, hoping one would crawl onto my hand.

  I hear Liz gasp softy, “Don’t touch it, Jake! What if it bites you?”

  “It’s not going to hurt me. It’s harmless,” I say, but leave them alone to play it safe.

  “Have you ever seen anything like this before?” Liz asks.

  “This is a first for me,” I tell her, taking in the splendor of it all.

  We don’t want to begin paddling again and scare the beavers, so we float a little while longer in the water. When only a few beavers linger, I begin digging in the water to return to the dock area. Even though we are beginning to have more daylight with the arrival of spring, time passes quickly on the lake as the sun begins to set in the far distance.

  I step out of the kayak and out of the water first, then pull the kayak to the muddy bank and onto the grassy area with Liz still seated, oars in her hands, never giving her a chance to step out.

  “How did you do that?” she asks, seated in the kayak with oars in her hand.

  “Well,” I begin to explain the simple process of pulling a boat out of the water, but then she cuts me off.

  “I don’t mean how did you pull a boat out of the water. I know how a boat can be pulled out of water,” Liz says as she steps out of the kayak.

  “I mean how do you pull a boat out of the water with me still in it? You could probably carry the kayak all the way to the garage with me still sitting in it.”

  “Do you want me to?” I ask dryly.

  Liz pats me on my backside. “No, I’m just saying. You never cease to amaze me with your strength.”

  I pull Liz into me and she drops the oars. I wrap my arms tightly around her and kiss her in a deep, sumptuous kiss. “You know I love you, right?”

  “Yes, you still tell me every night in your sleep and it’s still one of my favorite things you do in your sleep.”

  Chapter 50: Liz

  The main road remains impassable during the two-week melt. It’s too difficult to drive until the roads are graded. Jake and I spend these spring nights simply sitting side by side or cuddle next to each other, sharing a bowl of popcorn and watching a movie, preferably not one about wars and violence. Jake is fine with that rule. When we sit together on the couch, my feet lazily make their way onto Jake’s lap. He rubs my toes to warm in his hands, since my extremities are still frigid this spring.

  We sit on the floor with the coffee table between the two of us as we play board games like Monopoly or Scrabble, at which he is surprisingly good. Jake meticulously keeps track of bonus points and triple word scores, which I do not care about, but he does. We have an ongoing chess game, which again he has an advantage over me because I know nothing about chess. As one night rolls into another, we do not care about the passage of time.

  Jake is outside cutting fire wood when I tell him I’m going to the ice cave to stock the freezer, since we are running low on things to make for dinner.

  “Do you need some help?” he asks.

  I have a box in my hand. “No, I’m just getting a few things. I can manage.”

  I zip my jacket when Jake says, “Just a minute.”

  He sprints to the garage and returns with a flashlight.

  “Don’t forget this.” Jake hands me off the flashlight and then leans down and indulges me in a succulent kiss.

  As I walk to the ice cave, I feel like I should turn around and stay with Jake. Maybe I should just watch his muscular body pound through the wood. It is a great way to pass the time
. I slow my steps, feeling as though I should turn around and wait for Jake to come with me. I press forward, shaking the weird feeling I have to be with Jake. I don’t need to suffocate him by being with him every waking moment.

  As I enter the ice cave, I turn on the flashlight and set the box down on the slippery ground. I point my light to the boxes and crates that are meticulously stacked. Jake has the newest things on the bottom and the oldest things on top. His order makes life so much easier, not just some of the time, but all of the time.

  I pull from the crates wrapped frozen chicken breasts, a roast, some bacon, steaks, and ham. Jake has arranged everything so I can easily reach and access it all.

  I take two steps from the cave when I feel raindrops pelt my head. I lift my face to the sky. The sun, once shining down through the trees, has disappeared. Gray storm clouds have moved in quickly. The raindrops increase as I walk down the path back to the cabin. I am no longer worried about the box in my hand. I am in a panic about Jake, the stalwart, strong man I last saw holding an axe, a sharp axe. I slip and slide down the path, now muddied with rainwater. I set the box on top of a tree stump. I am now able to run without a hindrance to find Jake through the battering wind and rain. The line of black clouds overhead turns into a solid wall stretched across the horizon.

  “Jake!” I yell through the pounding noise of the rain.

  “Jake! Jake!”

  I slip into a tree and grab hold of it. My thoughts meander to the worst scenarios that could be happening with Jake, with an axe, in this rainstorm. The wind is fiercely pelting the trees. Maple leaves fall to the ground. Small branches blow off and whisk away with the wind. I feel as if the ice cave was a hundred miles away and the cabin is still a hundred more.

  “Jake!” I plead, hoping he hasn’t found his rifle or done something worse with one swipe of his axe.

  I spot the green metal rooftop of the cabin as I slosh through the wet ground. I cover my eyes thinking Jake might have gone inside and is now hallucinating he is being ambushed as water pellets hit the metal roof.