The Lady is a Thief

by Aimee Nicole Walker

  “Why? Because you noticed my dick? I don’t feel a bit embarrassed for admiring your tits. They are fucking spectacular and you should be proud of them.”

  “Oh my God!” Maegan said, but her body shook with laughter. “This can’t be happening to me. I must be unconscious in your back yard still.”

  “Well, if this is a dream, I’d be helping you out of your pajamas to check to see if there are any other bruises or cuts that need my attention.” She peeked around her hands. I saw one eye narrow in a warning for me to not even think about trying it. “No?” I asked. She shook her head. “Fine.” I picked up the sterile wipe and cleaned her foot as delicately as I could, but she didn’t let out a peep. I suspected it was because she was too busy looking over my body to notice the pain. That wasn’t me being a conceded douche; I could feel her glance caressing over my skin so intently that it felt like her touch ghosting across my skin.

  My dick couldn’t have gotten any harder if she whipped her shirt over her head and let me touch her girls. Okay, that was a bold-faced lie, but I was hard, and I wasn’t ashamed of the way my body reacted to her. Her uninjured foot moved a little restlessly against my thigh, giving me the impression that just maybe she was rubbing her thighs together in excitement. Damn, I wanted it to be so.

  I wanted to look up her body until our eyes met, but I knew better than to chance it. She really did have a nasty piece of wood from the snapped limb embedded in her foot and deserved to have my focus there and not my obsession to know if she was bare beneath her pj pants too.

  “I’m going to work the splinter out with a pair of tweezers. I’ll be as gentle as I can.”

  “I’m a tough girl. I can take…. Ow! Fuck! I thought you said work it out; not dig it out with a rusty pocket knife.” She jerked her foot out of my hand and sat back up again. “Give it to me,” she said, holding her palm out. I placed the tweezers in her hand and tried my best not to stare at her chest while she worked the sliver of wood free. Okay, so she was a lot more delicate about it than I had been. She flexed her foot and rotated her ankle. “That’s much better.”

  “Let me clean it for you,” I offered. She wanted to argue, but for some reason I wanted to prove to her that I could be gentle and not just an overzealous klutz with big hands, eager dick, and a filthy mind. I wanted her to know that I did have some finesse, but I refused to entertain why it was important to me. She was just my neighbor, nothing more.

  “Okay, but I’m watching you.”

  I glanced up and noticed her eyes were not on my hands and what they were doing, but were instead raking over my body again. Damn, the girl was something. Whew! I needed to get my mind out of the gutter. A woman who smelled and looked as feminine as she did, probably wouldn’t appreciate the raw, gutter-like thoughts that came to my mind. I’d save that for after she left and could relieve the pressure building in my balls while fantasizing about a different turn of events for her visit. I have her cup of sugar right here. My cup fucking runneth over. Although, I was pretty sure I took a lot of liberties with that phrase from the bible.

  “So, what brought you to my back yard?” I asked her.

  “Someone left my gate open. Lulu escaped when I went upstairs to change into my pajamas after I got home.” She stroked her beloved dog while she spoke, and I imagined those long fingers with bright red nail polish working my dick instead. Damn, I had it bad, but then her answer finally penetrated through the lusty fog in my brain.

  “Does someone often open your gate like that?”

  My thoughts had turned suspicious, it must’ve been obvious to Maegan. “It was probably one of the neighbor boys cutting through my yard to get to his friend’s house. They don’t usually leave the gate open.” Maegan tipped her head to the side and studied me. “Do you always brandish a gun anytime someone enters your yard? And when did you install that horrible light with the motion sensor?”

  “I’m a cop so suspicion is my middle name,” I replied. “I installed that light the first night I moved in. It pays to be cautious.”

  “A cop, huh? Are you the new detective Gabe hired?” My surprise must’ve shown on my face because she just offered me a crooked grin before she said, “Small town. Everyone knows everything.”

  “Good to know.”

  “Anyway, thanks for not shooting me,” she said wryly. Her smart remark might’ve been partially responsible for my pressing the bandage against her foot a little harder than either of us anticipated. “Brute.” She let out a frustrated sigh as she inspected my nursing job. “Can I borrow that pair of socks to walk home in?”

  “I can do better than that. Wait here.”

  I half expected her to be gone when I tromped back down the stairs with a pair of slippers in my hand, because what smart woman wouldn’t have bolted in her place, but she sat on my sofa all wrapped up in my blanket looking like she belonged there. I made sure to shove that thought aside faster than I’d retreat upstairs to jerk off as soon as she went home.

  “This is really kind of you to let me borrow these,” Maegan said as she slid her feet inside the fur-lined slippers my mom sent me for Christmas.

  “No problem,” I told her. “How’s your head? Maybe I should check your pupils to see if they’re dilated.”

  “I’m okay,” she replied, waving me off. “I know a concussion when I feel one, and that’s not the case here.”

  “Been roughed up a few times?” I asked as she rose to her feet. She started to take the blanket off her shoulders. I couldn’t handle seeing her breasts again, and I didn’t want anyone else seeing them either, although I wasn’t sure who would be out and about on a cold night like that one. “Bring it back when you return my slippers.”

  Maegan smiled in relief, and I knew that I had said the right thing for once that evening. She took a tentative step forward to test how her foot felt before she put her full weight on it. She must’ve been okay because she pivoted back around to face me. “I’ve had my fair share of collisions on the soccer field and softball diamond over the years,” she said in response to my question about her familiarity with concussions. Maegan looked down at her little dog and said, “Come, Lulu,” as she began walking toward the kitchen door.

  “It was nice to meet you, Elijah. Welcome to Blissville.” Her voice was breathy again, sounding a lot like that cartoon character she wore on her paper-thin pajama shirt.

  “See you around, Freckles.”

  I shut the door behind her after she left and stood there for several moments. A wide smile spread across my face as I realized, that for the first time in my life, the reality of something—or someone in this case—might possibly turn out to be better than my fantasy.

  “ARE YOU WALKING FUNNY?” MILO asked as he followed me through the door that separated Books and Brew and Curious Things.

  “No,” I said with a scoff.

  “Yes, you are,” Milo countered. “Oh my God! I recognize that awkward gait. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve been well and pleasantly had. More than once too.”

  “Shut up!” I wanted Milo to go back to the coffee shop so that I could have a few minutes to myself before my store opened. Technically, it was both of ours, but Milo couldn’t tell the difference between real China and the cheap knockoffs. I turned to face my brother with hands on hips and an irritated expression on my face.

  “It’s true, isn’t it? Who was it?” Milo tipped his head to the side and pressed a finger to his lips as he considered the eligible bachelors in Blissville. There weren’t many straight ones left, so it didn’t take him long. Unfortunately, he drew the wrong conclusions. “Maegan Rochelle Miracle! Are you screwing Clayton Callahan again?”

  Clayton was the older brother of one of my best friends, Vanessa. There are a lot of romance books where the heroine falls hard for her best friend’s older brother. Who hasn’t crushed on their friend’s brother? Well, my history with Clayton had the opposite of a happily-ever-after ending. I crushed hard on that guy all through school
and well beyond; he used it to his advantage by stringing me along whenever he and his high school girlfriend, Amanda, were having problems. He would flirt with me and tell me he wished Amanda was more like me. He gave me just enough hope to string me along without crossing a line until last year.

  He and Amanda actually broke up or took a break—depending on who told the story—and Clayton jumped on the opportunity to make Amanda jealous by romancing yours truly. He just didn’t let me in on the game at the time. A few dates that led to him sleeping over at my place was enough to bring Amanda to her senses. I was left out in the cold with a broken heart and shattered self-esteem, while Clayton and Amanda realized they never wanted to be apart again. In fact, they were so adamant that they got engaged. Clayton left my bed in the morning and put an engagement ring on Amanda’s finger that very same night. It was a miracle that my friendship with Vanessa stayed intact, but she wisely admitted that Clayton’s actions were wrong. I didn’t ask her to choose sides; I simply asked her not to defend his douche bag actions. She never did.

  “Please,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Trust me when I tell you he doesn’t have what it takes to make a girl limp. Besides, I sure as hell wouldn’t hook up with the slime ball while he was engaged to Amanda. I can’t stand her.”

  “Oh, so you haven’t heard the latest gossip yet. That’s so amazing since you were at the hair salon last night.” Milo rubbed his hands together gleefully. “It pays to be the one to open the coffee shop because you get the gossip first.” Milo and I took turns being the early bird to keep things fair and prevent burnout. “The engagement is off! I don’t know what pencil dick did, but it must’ve been bad because Amanda publicly threw his ring at him across the table in the diner last night during the supper rush. It’s the talk of the town.”

  “Huh,” I said then took inventory of how the news made me feel. I would’ve expected to feel a little bit of triumph, but I felt… nothing. I had well and truly put their bullshit behind me after more than a decade.

  “So, you can expect dickless to wander—or is it dickless wander—showing up here trying to win Amanda back by making her jealous again.”

  “Not going to happen.”

  Milo tilted his head while he studied me. He must’ve believed me because he changed the subject. Sort of. “So, who were you banging, if not Clayton?”

  “I wasn’t banging anyone.” Well, no one in the flesh anyway. “One of the neighbor kids must’ve left the gate open yesterday because Lulu escaped. I stepped on a stick in the new neighbor’s yard and got a nasty splinter. That’s why I’m walking funny.” It was only partially a lie.

  “You went out barefoot in January?”

  “My baby was missing.” The part of me that told Milo everything wanted to share the rest of the story, but for some reason it didn’t feel right. Nothing special happened the night before with Elijah, yet it felt that way. Was he the big surprise I felt when I woke the day before? Oh, he was big all right.

  Freckles. Who knew such a simple nickname could make me shiver. I had more passion with my vibrator while thinking about Elijah Markham than I’d ever known with a real man. Damn, those dark eyes of his raking over my body made me insanely horny. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he stared at my breasts through my top. I wondered if he was even aware that he licked his lips more than once like he was practicing what he wanted to do with my nipples, or maybe it was an automatic thing for him. I hardly got any sleep the night before because as soon as one orgasm faded from my body, my mind would conjure up something else about him that amped my lust right back up again. I gave my vibrator a workout like it had never seen before and ended up with sore thigh muscles and most likely a bruised cervix. Every twinge and ache made me think of Elijah, and I wanted to go back home and do it all over again, preferably with him in my bed.

  I had never seen thighs as big and strong as his, or biceps either for that matter. His carved chest and washboard abs were something I’d only seen on a romance novel cover or men’s fitness magazine. Men like him didn’t live in Blissville—well, not straight ones anyway. And that bulge in his tight boxer briefs captured and held my attention. Jesus fuck, I wasn’t a size queen, but I craved trying him on for size. I wanted to press my toes against the flesh hidden beneath the cotton to see if he was as hard as he looked. Just recalling it made my mouth water to suck and taste him.

  I never considered myself to be an overly sexual woman, but there was something about him that called to me and made me want to be brave, bold, and daring. Let’s not forget horny! I needed, not wanted, to know the feel of his scruff scraping against my inner thighs or over the smooth lips of my…

  “Earth to Maegan.” Milo snapped his fingers to get my attention. “I don’t believe for one second that you’re walking funny because of a splinter, but I’m going to let you keep your little secret for now.” Milo’s expression went from humorous to serious in a flash. “Just promise me that you’ll send Clayton Callahan packing when he shows up here today hoping you’ll pick up where you left off last year. You deserve so much better than him, Mae. Someday you’re going to know it.”

  “A snowball stands a better chance in hell than Clayton Callahan does in my life,” I assured him. “Get on back and man your station so I can have my moment of peace before my day starts.” I did a shooing motion with my hands that earned an irritated huff from Milo before he pivoted and did as I requested.

  I went to my small office in the rear of the shop and gingerly sat in my chair behind the antique desk I bought at an auction last year. I enjoyed my coffee and pastry I snatched from next door while I went through my emails and paid bills. I looked at the notes that my part-time employee left for me about items that customers requested yesterday. Bonnie was a retired teacher who wanted to earn some extra spending money, which suited me because I could keep my operating expenses lower. The arrangement worked out great for both of us, and I truly enjoyed her company.

  I smiled when I saw the list of items my clients sought: pocket watch from WWII era, antique cameo broach, and antique China in a blue-and-white pattern. I received more of those requests each week; I loved the thrill of the hunt and the joy my clients expressed when I came through for them. Included with the request was the timeframe and budget my clients had, which is important. I didn’t mind working hard, but I preferred to work smart. There’s no need spending fifteen hours looking for something that their budget couldn’t afford. There had been times that I helped them find something similar in their price range.

  I immediately set to work putting out feelers with contacts I’d made over the years, because some of those items were harder to find than others. Once I finished that, I set up my register and flipped the sign on the door from closed to open. The morning started off slow, so I was glad when Vanessa dropped in at lunchtime to visit. Of course, I could tell by the wry smile on her face that her visit wasn’t purely social.

  “You look different,” Van said, tipping her head to the side to check me out from head to toe. “Oh my God! You’ve had sex!”

  “For fuck’s sake,” I said, grabbing her arm and tugging her toward my office. I stood sideways in the doorway so I could keep an eye on the shop and have more privacy to talk to my friend. “I have not!” Well, sort of. “You don’t need to warn me that your idiot brother is on the prowl either because my idiot brother already told me what happened.”

  “I don’t want to see you get hurt like that ever again, Mae.” Vanessa reached over and rubbed my arm. “I’ll kill him if I must.”

  “Sweetie, that ugly-ass orange color would look terrible with your skin tone.” I received the smile I was looking for and continued. “Besides, I’m way over him by now.”

  “So, who is he then?” Vanessa asked. “You’re putting out vibes that a woman only emits after a night of amazing sex.”

  “It’s not like that, Van.” Damn, I wanted it to be. I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell her about grinding on a vibrating substitute a
ll night long.

  “I don’t believe you, Mae.” She shook her head before glancing at her watch. “I’m sorry to cut this visit so short, but I did want to give you a heads-up that Clayton was off his leash.”

  “Thank you, Van. I love you.” It was true. I had loved her since the day we met in pre-school. The only person who knew me better than Vanessa was Milo.

  “Chicks before dicks,” she called over her back as she left the shop.

  Milo came over and supervised my store long enough for me to run to the diner to grab some carryout lunch for us. We talked about expanding our menu to include deli sandwiches and various side dishes during lunch hours, but we didn’t think there was enough need for it yet. Besides, the best way to make enemies in a small town was to pull business away from someone who’s already established. I’d rather stay on Edson and Emma’s good side because I didn’t want them spitting in my food.

  “Emma’s meatloaf is the best,” Milo said once we gathered in my office to eat. “Don’t tell Mama or Grandmama I said that.”

  “Your secret is safe with me,” I said before I took my first bite of savory chicken, dumplings, and real mashed potatoes. “Damn, I’m going to ask Emma to marry me.”

  “Maybe she’ll adopt us,” Milo said, tucking into the baked macaroni and cheese he ordered as a side dish.

  I heard the little bell over the door jingle letting me know that someone had entered my shop. The last thing I wanted to do was stop eating, but duty called. I closed the lid on my takeout carton and gave Milo a look that warned him to keep his fork to himself. I knew how many dumplings were left.

  The welcoming smile I had plastered on my face wilted when I stepped out of my office and I saw who disgraced me with his presence. “Clayton,” I said tersely.

  “Maegan, you look beautiful.”

  I wanted to go back inside my office, soundly shut the door, and finish eating, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he still ruffled my feathers. Instead, I marched across the room until we were nearly toe to toe. I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him the same look I’d just given Milo. I meant business, and I wouldn’t suffer his foolishness much longer than it took for him to tell me why he came, as if I didn’t already know. “What do you want?” Succinct and direct to the point; it was the only way to deal with people like him.