Renesmee, I whispered. Stress made me a statue again. Renesmee wasnt going to smell like an animal. Would I put her in danger?
Come and see, Edward murmured. I know you can handle this.
Youll help me? I whispered through motionless lips.
Of course I will.
And Emmett and Jasperjust in case?
Well take care of you, Bella. Dont worry, well be ready. None of us would risk Renesmee. I think youll be surprised at how entirely shes already wrapped us all around her little fingers. Shell be perfectly safe, no matter what.
My yearning to see her, to understand the worship in his voice, broke my frozen pose. I took a step forward.
And then Jacob was in my way, his face a mask of worry.
Are you sure, bloodsucker? he demanded of Edward, his voice almost pleading. Id never heard him speak to Edward that way. I dont like this. Maybe she should wait
You had your test, Jacob.
It was Jacobs test?
But, Jacob began.
But nothing, Edward said, suddenly exasperated. Bella needs to see our daughter. Get out of her way.
Jacob shot me an odd, frantic look and then turned and nearly sprinted into the house ahead of us.
Edward growled.
I couldnt make sense of their confrontation, and I couldnt concentrate on it, either. I could only think about the blurred child in my memory and struggle against the haziness, trying to remember her face exactly.
Shall we? Edward said, his voice gentle again.
I nodded nervously.
He took my hand tightly in his and led the way into the house.
They waited for me in a smiling line that was both welcoming and defensive. Rosalie was several paces behind the rest of them, near the front door. She was alone until Jacob joined her and then stood in front of her, closer than was normal. There was no sense of comfort in that closeness; both of them seemed to cringe from the proximity.
Someone very small was leaning forward out of Rosalies arms, peering around Jacob. Immediately, she had my absolute attention, my every thought, the way nothing else had owned them since the moment Id opened my eyes.
I was out just two days? I gasped, disbelieving.
The stranger-child in Rosalies arms had to be weeks, if not months, old. She was maybe twice the size of the baby in my dim memory, and she seemed to be supporting her own torso easily as she stretched toward me. Her shiny bronze-colored hair fell in ringlets past her shoulders. Her chocolate brown eyes examined me with an interest that was not at all childlike; it was adult, aware and intelligent. She raised one hand, reaching in my direction for a moment, and then reached back to touch Rosalies throat.
If her face had not been astonishing in its beauty and perfection, I wouldnt have believed it was the same child. My child.
But Edward was there in her features, and I was there in the color of her eyes and cheeks. Even Charlie had a place in her thick curls, though their color matched Edwards. She must be ours. Impossible, but still true.
Seeing this unanticipated little person did not make her more real, though. It only made her more fantastic.
Rosalie patted the hand against her neck and murmured, Yes, thats her.
Renesmees eyes stayed locked on mine. Then, as she had just seconds after her violent birth, she smiled at me. A brilliant flash of tiny, perfect white teeth.
Reeling inside, I took a hesitant step toward her.
Everyone moved very fast.
Emmett and Jasper were right in front of me, shoulder to shoulder, hands ready. Edward gripped me from behind, fingers tight again on the tops of my arms. Even Carlisle and Esme moved to get Emmetts and Jaspers flanks, while Rosalie backed to the door, her arms clutching at Renesmee. Jacob moved, too, keeping his protective stance in front of them.
Alice was the only one who held her place.
Oh, give her some credit, she chided them. She wasnt going to do anything. Youd want a closer look, too.
Alice was right. I was in control of myself. Id been braced for anythingfor a scent as impossibly insistent as the human smell in the woods. The temptation here was really not comparable. Renesmees fragrance was perfectly balanced right on the line between the scent of the most beautiful perfume and the scent of the most delicious food. There was enough of the sweet vampire smell to keep the human part from being overwhelming.
I could handle it. I was sure.
Im okay, I promised, patting Edwards hand on my arm. Then I hesitated and added, Keep close, though, just in case.
Jaspers eyes were tight, focused. I knew he was taking in my emotional climate, and I worked on settling into a steady calm. I felt Edward free my arms as he read Jaspers assessment. But, though Jasper was getting it firsthand, he didnt seem as certain.
When she heard my voice, the too-aware child struggled in Rosalies arms, reaching toward me. Somehow, her expression managed to look impatient.
Jazz, Em, let us through. Bellas got this.
Edward, the risk, Jasper said.
Minimal. Listen, Jasperon the hunt she caught the scent of some hikers who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. . . .
I heard Carlisle suck in a shocked breath. Esmes face was suddenly full of concern mingled with compassion. Jaspers eyes widened, but he nodded just a tiny bit, as if Edwards words answered some question in his head. Jacobs mouth screwed up into a disgusted grimace. Emmett shrugged. Rosalie seemed even less concerned than Emmett as she tried to hold on to the struggling child in her arms.
Alices expression told me that she was not fooled. Her narrowed eyes, focused with burning intensity on my borrowed shirt, seemed more worried about what Id done to my dress than anything else.
Edward! Carlisle chastened. How could you be so irresponsible?
I know, Carlisle, I know. I was just plain stupid. I should have taken the time to make sure we were in a safe zone before I set her loose.
Edward, I mumbled, embarrassed by the way they stared at me. It was like they were trying to see a brighter red in my eyes.
Hes absolutely right to rebuke me, Bella, Edward said with a grin. I made a huge mistake. The fact that you are stronger than anyone Ive ever known doesnt change that.
Alice rolled her eyes. Tasteful joke, Edward.
I wasnt making a joke. I was explaining to Jasper why I know Bella can handle this. Its not my fault everyone jumped to conclusions.
Wait, Jasper gasped. She didnt hunt the humans?
She started to, Edward said, clearly enjoying himself. My teeth ground together. She was entirely focused on the hunt.
What happened? Carlisle interjected. His eyes were suddenly bright, an amazed smile beginning to form on his face. It reminded me of before, when hed wanted the details on my transformation experience. The thrill of new information.
Edward leaned toward him, animated. She heard me behind her and reacted defensively. As soon as my pursuit broke into her concentration, she snapped right out of it. Ive never seen anything to equal her. She realized at once what was happening, and then she held her breath and ran away.
Whoa, Emmett murmured. Seriously?
Hes not telling it right, I muttered, more embarrassed than before. He left out the part where I growled at him.
Did ya get in a couple of good swipes? Emmett asked eagerly.
No! Of course not.
No, not really? You really didnt attack him?
Emmett! I protested.
Aw, what a waste, Emmett groaned. And here youre probably the one person who could take himsince he cant get in your head to cheatand you had a perfect excuse, too. He sighed. Ive been dying to see how hed do without that advantage.
I glared at him frostily. I would never.
Jaspers frown caught my attention; he seemed even more disturbed than before.
Edward touched his fist lightly to Jaspers shoulder in a mock punch. You see what I mean?
Its not natural, Jasper muttered.
She could have turned on youshe
s only hours old! Esme scolded, putting her hand against her heart. Oh, we should have gone with you.
I wasnt paying so much attention, now that Edward was past the punch line of his joke. I was staring at the gorgeous child by the door, who was still staring at me. Her little dimpled hands reached out toward me like she knew exactly who I was. Automatically, my hand lifted to mimic hers.
Edward, I said, leaning around Jasper to see her better. Please?
Jaspers teeth were set; he didnt move.
Jazz, this isnt anything youve seen before, Alice said quietly. Trust me.
Their eyes met for a short second, and then Jasper nodded. He moved out of my way, but put one hand on my shoulder and moved with me as I walked slowly forward.
I thought about every step before I took it, analyzing my mood, the burn in my throat, the position of the others around me. How strong I felt versus how well they would be able to contain me. It was a slow procession.
And then the child in Rosalies arms, struggling and reaching all this time while her expression got more and more irritated, let out a high, ringing wail. Everyone reacted as iflike metheyd never heard her voice before.
They swarmed around her in a second, leaving me standing alone, frozen in place. The sound of Renesmees cry pierced right through me, spearing me to the floor. My eyes pricked in the strangest way, like they wanted to tear.
It seemed like everyone had a hand on her, patting and soothing. Everyone but me.
Whats the matter? Is she hurt? What happened?
It was Jacobs voice that was loudest, that raised anxiously above the others. I watched in shock as he reached for Renesmee, and then in utter horror as Rosalie surrendered her to him without a fight.
No, shes fine, Rosalie reassured him.
Rosalie was reassuring Jacob?
Renesmee went to Jacob willingly enough, pushing her tiny hand against his cheek and then squirming around to stretch toward me again.
See? Rosalie told him. She just wants Bella.
She wants me? I whispered.
Renesmees eyesmy eyesstared impatiently at me.
Edward darted back to my side. He put his hands lightly on my arms and urged me forward.
Shes been waiting for you for almost three days, he told me.
We were only a few feet away from her now. Bursts of heat seemed to tremble out from her to touch me.
Or maybe it was Jacob who was trembling. I saw his hands shaking as I got closer. And yet, despite his obvious anxiety, his face was more serene than I had seen it in a long time.
JakeIm fine, I told him. It made me panicky to see Renesmee in his shaking hands, but I worked to keep myself in control.
He frowned at me, eyes tight, like he was just as panicky at the thought of Renesmee in my arms.
Renesmee whimpered eagerly and stretched, her little hands grasping into fists again and again.
Something in me clicked into place at that moment. The sound of her cry, the familiarity of her eyes, the way she seemed even more impatient than I did for this reunionall of it wove together into the most natural of patterns as she clutched the air between us. Suddenly, she was absolutely real, and of course I knew her. It was perfectly ordinary that I should take that last easy step and reach for her, putting my hands exactly where they would fit best as I pulled her gently toward me.
Jacob let his long arms stretch so that I could cradle her, but he didnt let go. He shuddered a little when our skin touched. His skin, always so warm to me before, felt like an open flame to me now. It was almost the same temperature as Renesmees. Perhaps one or two degrees difference.
Renesmee seemed oblivious to the coolness of my skin, or at least very used to it.
She looked up and smiled at me again, showing her square little teeth and two dimples. Then, very deliberately, she reached for my face.
The moment she did this, all the hands on me tightened, anticipating my reaction. I barely noticed.
I was gasping, stunned and frightened by the strange, alarming image that filled my mind. It felt like a very strong memoryI could still see through my eyes while I watched it in my headbut it was completely unfamiliar. I stared through it to Renesmees expectant expression, trying to understand what was happening, struggling desperately to hold on to my calm.
Besides being shocking and unfamiliar, the image was also wrong somehowI almost recognized my own face in it, my old face, but it was off, backward. I grasped quickly that I was seeing my face as others saw it, rather than flipped in a reflection.
My memory face was twisted, ravaged, covered in sweat and blood. Despite this, my expression in the vision became an adoring smile; my brown eyes glowed over their deep circles. The image enlarged, my face came closer to the unseen vantage point, and then abruptly vanished.
Renesmees hand dropped from my cheek. She smiled wider, dimpling again.
It was totally silent in the room but for the heartbeats. No one but Jacob and Renesmee was so much as breathing. The silence stretched on; it seemed like they were waiting for me to say something.
What was that? I managed to choke out.
What did you see? Rosalie asked curiously, leaning around Jacob, who seemed very much in the way and out of place at the moment. What did she show you?
She showed me that? I whispered.
I told you it was hard to explain, Edward murmured in my ear. But effective as means of communications go.
What was it? Jacob asked.
I blinked quickly several times. Um. Me. I think. But I looked terrible.
It was the only memory she had of you, Edward explained. It was obvious hed seen what she was showing me as she thought of it. He was still cringing, his voice rough from reliving the memory. Shes letting you know that shes made the connection, that she knows who you are.
But how did she do that?
Renesmee seemed unconcerned with my boggling eyes. She was smiling slightly and pulling on a lock of my hair.
How do I hear thoughts? How does Alice see the future? Edward asked rhetorically, and then shrugged. Shes gifted.
Its an interesting twist, Carlisle said to Edward. Like shes doing the exact opposite of what you can.
Interesting, Edward agreed. I wonder. . . .
I knew they were speculating away, but I didnt care. I was staring at the most beautiful face in the world. She was hot in my arms, reminding me of the moment when the blackness had almost won, when there was nothing in the world left to hold on to. Nothing strong enough to pull me through the crushing darkness. The moment when Id thought of Renesmee and found something I would never let go of.
I remember you, too, I told her quietly.
It seemed very natural to lean in and press my lips to her forehead. She smelled wonderful. The scent of her skin set my throat burning, but it was easy to ignore. It didnt strip the joy from the moment. Renesmee was real and I knew her. She was the same one Id fought for from the beginning. My little nudger, the one who loved me from the inside, too. Half Edward, perfect and lovely. And half mewhich, surprisingly, made her better rather than detracting.
Id been right all along. She was worth the fight.
Shes fine, Alice murmured, probably to Jasper. I could feel them hovering, not trusting me.
Havent we experimented enough for one day? Jacob asked, his voice a slightly higher pitch with stress. Okay, Bellas doing great, but lets not push it.
I glared at him with real irritation. Jasper shuffled uneasily next to me. We were all crowded so close that every tiny movement seemed very big.
What is your problem, Jacob? I demanded. I tugged lightly against his hold on Renesmee, and he just stepped closer to me. He was pressed right up to me, Renesmee touching both of our chests.
Edward hissed at him. Just because I understand, it doesnt mean I wont throw you out, Jacob. Bellas doing extraordinarily well. Dont ruin the moment for her.
Ill help him toss you, dog, Rosalie promised, her voice seething. I owe you a good kick in the gut. Obvi
ously, there was no change in that relationship, unless it had gotten worse.
I glared at Jacobs anxious half-angry expression. His eyes were locked on Renesmees face. With everyone pressed together, he had to be touching at least six different vampires at the moment, and it didnt even seem to bug him.
Would he really go through all this just to protect me from myself? What could have happened during my transformationmy alteration into something he hatedthat would soften him so much toward the reason for its necessity?
I puzzled over it, watching him stare at my daughter. Staring at her like like he was a blind man seeing the sun for the very first time.
No! I gasped.
Jaspers teeth came together and Edwards arms wrapped around my chest like constricting boas. Jacob had Renesmee out of my arms in the same second, and I did not try to hold on to her. Because I felt it comingthe snap that theyd all been waiting for.
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