Love Out of Order (Indigo Love Spectrum)

by Green, Nicole

  “And so, all this love I have for you. This love is so big, so deep, I can’t—I don’t know how to explain it. I can’t put it into words. All this love is all that matters. That’s all I know. That and I want to be close to you forever. Because you bring me a joy. A joy and a peace that I’ve never known before. I just feel like things are so natural when I’m with you. They are the way they should be. I just—love you so much. You’re all that’s best about me. And all I can do is say that I love you, I never stopped loving you, and I will always love you so much that I just—I feel like my heart isn’t even big enough to hold it all,” John said.

  I couldn’t think of a word to say. I suddenly became aware of the fact that I had been crying as he gently wiped tears of joy, anger, and frustration from my face. I gave him a watery smile. He kissed me gently. I sighed happily against his lips as he pulled me to him.

  Chapter 24

  THIS ISN’T WHAT

  THEY WANTED

  John and I never stopped kissing all the way to the bedroom. Our lips only broke contact as we hastily removed our shirts. I couldn’t believe that any of it was real. As we fell back onto the bed, I pressed my body into John’s. I wanted to be surrounded by him. I fully enjoyed his hands, lips and tongue all over my skin. He filled up my world in a way I had longed for ever since he’d lost his mind and left me. Especially since the night of Barrister’s. He was the world to me and I never wanted anything else to exist ever again.

  “I wanted you so much that night in the hotel room,” I whispered in his ear.

  “I know. I don’t blame you for leaving, though. I was such an ass,” he whispered back, gently biting at my earlobe.

  “Yeah, well, that’s the past now. I’m so glad that’s the past.”

  “What’s this?” John asked with an amused grin. He was holding the picture that had been beneath the pillow. I tried to grab it, but he moved away from me. “Oh, I think somebody likes me,” he said, moving to the edge of the bed.

  “You are such a jerk,” I said, laughing. I reached for him again, and he fell off the bed in the process of trying to get away from me. I laughed even harder. “See? That’s what you get!”

  “Denise, you’re a strange person,” John laughed, fending off the pillow I was attempting to beat him with as he jumped back onto the bed.

  “Yeah?” I said.

  He threw the pillow back to the head of the bed. “Oh, yeah,” he said as he gently slid one of my bra straps down and kissed my shoulder. “You uh—run away from me, but you still keep a picture of me under your pillow.”

  “Who says I was running away from you?” I asked breathily as he laughed into my other shoulder. He dropped my bra to the floor. “I never said why I left.”

  “Well, how many law-students-turned-blackjackdealers do you know? You had a burning passion suddenly so intense, it compelled you to come out to Vegas and pursue your true calling?”

  “Something like that.” I grinned, watching my pants sail across the room. They were soon followed by John’s jeans.

  He laughed softly in my ear before kissing it, pushing me gently back onto the bed. He suddenly stopped, giving me a look that was too close to sadness to fit with the moment we were sharing. “What?”

  “That thing Astoria said before. About you crying yourself to sleep every night. Was it true?”

  I looked away from him. I didn’t want to talk or think about that. I had him back and that’s all that mattered.

  “Denise, it hurts me that I hurt you,” John said thickly.

  I put my hand to his cheek, shaking my head. I’d missed him so much. I couldn’t believe I was finally getting what I wanted. I didn’t want to think about those things.

  “It doesn’t matter now. All that matters is you’re here.” He kissed my forehead. “I know about Joe.”

  “You what?” I pulled away from him, sitting up in the bed.

  “Astoria told me.”

  “She what?” I was furious. It hadn’t been Astoria’s place to say anything about Joe, or anything else. John sat back on his heels, looking at me with doleful eyes. I felt too betrayed and exposed to say anything. “Is that why you’re here? You feel sorry for me?”

  “I’m here because I love you. No other reason,” he said solemnly, moving over to sit next to me. I let him take my hand in his, but I didn’t say anything. “But I can’t stand that he did what he did to you. And that I did what I did after what you’d been through.”

  “John, it doesn’t matter anymore,” I said, while trying to ignore the pain the memories brought to me. I just wanted John. I didn’t want to fight. And I wanted to believe his words whether or not they were true. He hugged me to his side.

  “Yes, it does. I want you to know I’ll never be like him. I never want you to cry yourself to sleep over me again. I’m going to try—I’m going to try so hard—to make sure it doesn’t happen, okay?” John whispered to me.

  I nodded, and then I felt him kiss the top of my head.

  “I’m tired.” I really was despite the long nap we’d had earlier. The day had been draining and John had completely killed the mood. He stood and helped me to my feet. I walked to the bathroom to get ready for bed, making it clear that I needed some time alone. He respected that.

  Joe was from a part of me that I didn’t like to visit. Astoria had nearly ruined everything again by trying to help. I didn’t want to feel as if he had interrupted my life yet again. I really tried to believe that John had come back because of me and not because of guilt. And on top of that, I hadn’t wanted John to know yet. That I had nearly lost my mind once. I wasn’t sure that I had ever wanted him to know.

  When I came out of the bathroom, he was watching television in the living area of the suite. I went into the bedroom and lay down. I pretended to be asleep when I felt him climb into bed an hour or so later. I couldn’t fight the warmth I felt, however, when he put his arm around me and drew me close to him.

  “I love you,” he whispered as he curled his body around mine.

  I hope so. Because I love you so much it scares me, I thought.

  The next morning, I grumbled, pushing John away and rolling over as he teased my neck with his tongue.

  “It’s too early,” I complained as his hand traveled slowly down my back, caressing me as it went. His hand did feel good against my skin, but eight in the morning was definitely too early.

  “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, Denise. I can’t wait any longer. Besides, it’s never too early for a good morning.”

  “A good morning, huh?” I asked as he trailed soft, slow kisses across my neck.

  “A good morning.” He threw the blanket back and pulled me close to him. He whispered against my ear, tickling it softly. I giggled and shivered all at once. He held my eyes with his as he pulled my panties down to my knees. He then watched with greedy anticipation as I wriggled the rest of the way out of them, tossing them off of my foot. He slid his hand slowly up my thigh, pushing my nightshirt up and over my hips. My breathing quickened as his eyes devoured the flesh he had exposed. He bit his lower lip, a hint of white gleaming as he pulled his upper lip up slightly. Warmth radiated from my center as I watched desire consume his face.

  He moved between my legs, pushing his shoulders under my thighs. My calves rested lightly on his back. He teased my outer opening with his index finger as he looked up at me with liquid green eyes.

  “Still mad I woke you up this morning?” he asked as his finger slipped inside and started making circular motions against a very sensitive area of my body. I couldn’t respond. I fell back against my pillows with a deep moan. I felt his mouth press against me in a slow, teasing kiss before his tongue took the place of his finger and his finger slipped inside of me. His tongue flicked insistently against me, bringing me wicked amounts of pleasure. He moaned shakily as he slid in a second finger. I twisted the sheets in my hands as the lower half of my body rocked and writhed in sweet, hot ecstasy. He pressed his lips c
lose, kissing and sucking. My eyes rolled back in my head as I held him tightly to me. The pleasure was relentless. I could hardly breathe as he commanded my body’s attention.

  “I’m coming,” I whispered, barely aware of my words. He mumbled something without his mouth ever leaving its very important work. The vibrations of his mumbling did it. Waves of pleasure took over my body. My breath came in short gasps. My body throbbed against his fingers. He continued to hold that part of me between his teeth even as I shuddered with the last, passing waves of pleasure.

  He trailed kisses up from my lower abdomen to my belly button and further upward between my breasts. Up to my chin. He then lay with his body pressed against mine, his face inches from mine.

  “Did you like that?” he whispered.

  “I know you don’t have to ask,” I whispered back. We grinned at each other as he gently traced his fingers along my hairline and forehead. “I guess I have to do you now, huh?”

  “Not unless you want to. And I think it’d be all over if you did anyway. That made me really—uh—ready to go,” he said before kissing my closed lips. That made me want him even more. He had only whetted my appetite for him, and his words were making it worse. “I want you to put the condom on, though. I want you to touch me.”

  For some reason, that drove me wild. I took the green, square packet from him while kissing him deeply. He groaned as I sucked on his tongue for a moment. I ran my hand up and down his hard length once. He gave a long, drawn-out sigh, putting his hand over mine.

  “I’m serious. It’ll be done,” he said.

  I became even wetter for him. I tore the package open with my teeth while giving him what I hoped was a sexy look. I squeezed the tip and slid the latex slowly down and into place while still looking him in the eye.

  “John,” I murmured as he pulled me close to him. “I need you inside me,” I whispered to him as I sat on his stomach, rubbing eagerly against his flesh. He put his hands on my hips, his fingers kneading the flesh there.

  “Denise . . .” his voice trailed off as he pushed slightly against my hips. I needed very little prodding. I lifted myself up slightly and we both feverishly guided him into me. He groaned richly as his hands traveled up to my breasts.

  I gasped as mind-numbing pleasure took over once he filled me. I lowered myself over him, my elbows digging into the mattress. My hips smacked into his over and over with need and desire.

  I looked into his eyes as I felt the sweat beading on my forehead and upper lip. His eyes were so full of desire and love that they made me want him more than I had thought possible. I bent to kiss him and as his tongue slowly pushed over mine; he rolled over so that he was on top without ever separating our lips. He pushed my legs further apart and pressed his thumb to the area he exposed, gently teasing me with it as he thrust feverishly against me.

  “I can’t—I’m gonna—” I couldn’t finish my thought as unreal amounts of pleasure began building inside of me again. I wrapped my legs around him, locking my ankles. My heels rested lightly against his rear.

  My breathing became light and shallow and I trembled in anticipation of that final burst of pleasure. John’s breathing was ragged in my ear. He pressed his forehead to my cheek for a moment. His thumb stopped moving against me. He put his arms under me and grasped the tops of my shoulders tightly. He pushed himself deeper inside of me. He tried to kiss me, but neither of us could concentrate on our mouths at the moment.

  I cried out, pushing my body tightly to his as the waves of pleasure hit again. Just moments later, I felt him pulsing inside of me, which intensified my own peak of satisfaction. I moaned his name over and over as we came down from our sexual highs together.

  John lay on top of me for a moment, propped up on his elbows, smiling down at me. I looked up, returning his smile.

  “Good morning,” he said, kissing my damp cheek.

  “Good morning,” I said, laughing softly as I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. He chuckled before burying his head in my neck.

  Chapter 25

  BUT IT IS WHAT WE NEEDED

  Needless to say, I was no favorite of the Archers. When John, Astoria, Suse, and I returned to Virginia, John was faced with a very nasty note telling him of the storage facility where he could find all of his things from Connecticut, quite a few choice words about him and me, and no Kompressor. They had gone as far as sending Alex to the airport to pick it up while we’d still been in Vegas. Not to mention news that he’d have to find his own way to finance his last year of law school, that he had no summer job—he had been lined up to work with his dad in New York—that his trust fund had been revoked, and of course that he’d been written out of the will.

  But John took it all in stride. He pointed out that he’d have more time to spend with me since he wouldn’t be spending the summer in New York. And we decided to move into my new place together. After a lot of begging, explaining, compromising, and a little lying, I was able to get my landlord to let me have the apartment I’d run out on and I was able to get my summer job back. Considering I had been gone less than two weeks, it wasn’t that bad to get things set straight again.

  My mom yelled at me and John. A lot. Especially me. But then she got more excited for the wedding than I could have ever hoped for. And my dad gave his blessing almost immediately. He said that anybody who could make me as happy as John had was all right with him, and that what had happened between us was our business. Ah, that’s why I love my dad.

  Suse seemed genuinely happy for me. And Astoria was biting her tongue better than I’d ever seen before in my life. Suse had made herself my wedding planner almost immediately. The extent of Astoria’s input was reminding me of how hideous she looked in baby blue. I immediately told Suse that her and Astoria’s dresses had to be baby blue.

  The night that John and I moved the last of our stuff into the apartment, we sat on the floor with our Chinese takeout. Most of the furniture from my old apartment had been Tia’s, and John’s furniture had been shipped back to Connecticut. His parents were determined he wouldn’t have it because they paid for it even though they had no use for it.

  John was singing, quite horribly, to me songs he thought we should have at our reception. While I was laughing at him and really enjoying just how bad he was, I was also wondering if we would be able to afford a formal ceremony, let alone a reception. Not that it mattered. I already had what I wanted out of the deal. I’d be happy at city hall. I just wanted to be married to John. Part of me was even wishing we’d just done it in Vegas.

  “So, you regretting any of this yet?” John asked with a wink. I shook my head vigorously as I swallowed a mouthful of orange chicken.

  “Are you? You jobless, carless bum?” I asked, laughing.

  “Oh, no. Not one bit. In fact, I’m loving it more every moment.” He grinned. “And besides, we have a car. The Sentra is better than that piece of crap I had.” He laughed, catching the fortune cookie I’d thrown at his head.

  “You know, I’m surprised they didn’t take the ring,” I said, looking down at my hand and the sparkling rock.

  “They couldn’t. I bought that with cash back in January. They don’t even know about it,” John said, putting down his plate and moving over next to me.

  “Clever.” I grinned.

  “I try to be,” he said, kissing the tip of my nose. “Hm. I just hope you never stop loving me.” “Impossible,” he said before kissing my ear.

  “You think Sasha will ever recover?” I asked.

  He laughed into my neck. Sasha had gotten into Central’s law school and actually decided to come. Apparently, she was determined to get John back. John had changed his number and not given it out to anyone who talked to Sasha. Not even his parents—not that they wanted it. She kept threatening me. And she routinely sent John emails alternating between threatening and obsessively passionate. And they occasionally contained the tactless nude pic. He showed me every email.

  Sasha wasn’t a big
deal to me anymore. I felt a love from John that I hadn’t even known could exist. And the feeling was mutual.

  “Ask me if I care.” He put his arm around my waist. “Do you?”

  “No.”

  “You better not,” I said, pressing my nose to his. He kissed my closed lips.

  “Face it. You’re never going to be able to get rid of me now.”

  “Good. ’Cause the plan is to keep you,” I said, pushing John back onto the floor and jumping on top of him.

  I was finally happy. I was never letting John Archer go again. For anything or anyone in the world.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Nicole Green received a Bachelor of Arts in English from the University of Virginia and she currently attends law school at the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia. When she’s not studying the law, she returns to Tappahannock, Virginia, where her parents and younger sister live. She enjoys reading, writing and spending time with her hilarious and wonderful friends and family. They inspire her to be a better writer and add to her enjoyment of life every day. You can visit her online at her website at www.nicolegreen.webs.com. She would love to hear from you.