Addicted

by Claire Adams

  "Tease." He slid his fingers over my lower back as he passed me. "That bathing suit makes you look good enough to eat, by the way."

  "Thanks. I love this one." I followed him down the hall and out onto a small, private balcony where the hot tub bubbled. Steam rose up from the turbulent water, and the smell of salt wrapped around me. "This is going to be great."

  "It's really relaxing. The resort is honestly one of the best in the country. I search each visit for something to offer as an improvement to them, and honestly it gets harder and harder to find when I come here." He got into the water and offered me his hand. "Have you enjoyed your room and the food?"

  "Absolutely. The food is exquisite. I'm going to write up a few pieces when I get home on it. Do you think I should submit them to the paper in Miami as well as New York? I just realized that I might have an easier time getting featured here where the restaurants are." I walked into the hot water and sunk down next to him, letting out a groan as my muscles responded to the strong jets spraying against them.

  "Both. Always put your eggs in a handful of baskets until you find your sweet spot." He settled across the hot tub from me. "Kevin is our lead food critic, but the guy honestly doesn't have his thumb on the pulse of what people like or want. He's a total dick."

  "Get me his job." I smiled and lifted my arms, running my fingers through the bubbles.

  "Would you be interested if I could?" He lifted his eyebrow, the playfulness gone for the moment.

  "I think so, yes. But I was just teasing. I can find a job on my own. I have Casey working with me when we get back to figure out the best place for me to start." I shrugged, not too terribly concerned about it.

  "Are you going to stay in New York or are you open to going other places?" His foot brushed by mine, and at first I figured it an accident, until he did it again, a soft petting sort of touch.

  "I love New York, so I'll probably stay there, but I'd love to travel like you do. I'm close to my family, but not so close that seeing them on occasion wouldn't be okay." I leaned back and closed my eyes. "Are you going to have to travel like you are now for the entirety of your career?"

  "Yeah, most likely." The water moved and I opened my eyes to see him shifting toward me. He settled in beside me and pressed his shoulder to mine.

  "Do you want to get married?" He glanced over at me.

  "To you?" I sat up, a little shocked by the question.

  The beautiful smile that slid across his face caused my tummy to tighten in anticipation of hope sprouting inside of me again.

  "No, silly girl. Though I could see that happening, but I'm a dreamer of sorts." He slid his hand over mine below the surface of the water and played with my fingers. "In general. Do you want to get married to someone? Is it something you think about?"

  "Yes. I want to share life with someone. Almost desperately at times." I licked at my lips and shifted my gaze to his mouth. "Do you?"

  "All the time. My mother won't give me a moment’s rest on it."

  I laughed as I came back to my senses. "And kids?"

  "She's nuts about wanting kids. I think I mentioned that." He chuckled. "I want kids. I just don't think my job would allow for all of that just yet."

  "Maybe not now, but in the future if you find someone that wanted to travel with you, you could just take the baby with you, right?" I shifted closer to him, pulling his arm around my back as I pressed a kiss to the side of his neck.

  "I think with the right woman, anything would be possible." He turned and brushed his lips by mine. "Are you more interested in your career or a relationship with the right guy?"

  "My career." I answered a bit too fast. "I mean, I'd love to be in a solid relationship, but I'm graduating in two months and need to shift my focus onto my future. I give all of myself over in a relationship. I probably need to learn boundaries, but it's just the way I've always been."

  His brow furrowed as he tensed. "I hate the fact that Jackson is all you know. Ten years is a really long time, and no breaks in between?"

  "Not for me, no." I moved back a little and stood up as my body started to overheat. "It's hot as hell in here."

  "It's lust. We can pretend like we're not both thinking about how good it would be to give ourselves over to each other for the night, but we are." He stood up and moved toward me. "I want you to stay with me. Don't go because of some sense of protection that you think you have to have around me. We don't have to move fast, Viv, but don't move away. I want to try this thing out between us. I've had more fun in the last four days than I have in the last two years."

  His words shot an arrow of fear into the center of my chest. I couldn't agree more with his confession, but it wasn't that simple. He would keep on with his life, and I would keep up, or he would grow weary of me. He wasn't risking much at all, but asking me to risk everything.

  "I want to, Easton, but I can't. Not right now. Maybe when things are settled in the future." I reached for him, pulling him into a long hug and kissing his shoulder before pulling back. "I should go. Call me sometime when you're in New York and we'll hang out. Promise?"

  His smile faded as he nodded. "Yeah. Of course."

  I turned and got out of the hot tub as tears burned my gaze. I needed to go then or I wasn't going to go. It wasn't nearly as simple as he wanted to make it out to be. At least I couldn't figure out a scenario where I won for the long term.

  After gathering my stuff, I checked the living room for him but didn't see him. I walked towards the balcony and found him bent over, looking out across the city as rivets of water dripped down his back and legs. I turned and walked out of the penthouse, not caring how intensely everything inside of me screamed that I was making a huge mistake.

  My heart had to come first. For the first time ever.

  I didn't sleep at all that night, and looked like hell the next morning, no doubt. Casey was sure to remind me ten times that I should at least call him and say goodbye as we packed up.

  "I don't want to say goodbye. Lay the fuck off of me." I turned and gave her an aggressive stare.

  She lifted her hands. "Okay. Shit. Sorry. I just know you, and you're going to regret this. It's like letting fucking Jackson win."

  "He's winning nothing, Case. I'm asking you nicely to let it go. I'm hurting. Don't throw salt in my wounds. Okay?" I turned back to my suitcase and swallowed the ache that continued to rise up my chest and find residence in my throat. I was making a mistake, but I didn't care. Hurting today to heal tomorrow sounded far more mature than instant gratification today and being destroyed again in the near future.

  "I'm sorry. I love you. You know that." She stopped beside me and tugged at my arm until I turned and let her pull me into a hug.

  "I don't want to do all of this again. I just want peace for a little while. I want to heal." I pressed my cheek to her shoulder. "And I don't want to cry anymore."

  "Agreed. I'll go check us out and we'll get the fuck out of here. That sound good?" She pulled back, but kept a tight grasp on my shoulders.

  "I'll check us out. The room is in my name. Finish checking to make sure we didn't leave anything." I moved to the door and grabbed my purse before walking out. I didn't want Casey spending any of her dwindling funds on anything related to the vacation, but she wouldn't have any of it if they charged us for something.

  I made it down to the lobby and turned as the one person I didn't want to see walked toward me. Jackson.

  "Hey. I was hoping I would see you again here." He reached for me, but I backed up.

  "How did you know I was staying here?" I lifted my eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest. I ignored the familiarity that sat between us, the offer of him hugging me ushered in the remembrance of a comfort I didn't think I could live without.

  "I talked to your dad last night for a long time. I'm sorry about your folks." He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Vivian, I'm sorry, baby. Please give me a chance to make everything up to you. Please."

  "Fuck
off." I turned on my heel and walked toward the long line at the checkout counter.

  "Viv. Just tell me what I need to do to start working toward us getting back together. I know you miss me. I feel like I can't breathe without you." He brushed his hand along my upper back, and I stiffened.

  "You don't know anything. Get your hands off of me. Seriously." I moved up in line and tried to ignore the burn of tears that welled up in my eyes again.

  "I know you inside and out. I was with you through every major part of your life and mine. Don't do this. I'm ready to grovel or beg or anything." He moved in front of me and put his hands on his hips, glaring down as if it were time for me to stop playing around and be real.

  "Where's the pretty blonde you brought with you? The one with her titties hanging out the top of her dress everywhere she goes?"

  An elderly couple in front of us looked back with shocked expressions.

  "I'm sorry." I gave them an apologetic look and turned back to Jackson. "Go away. I'm done with you."

  "Is it because of that big bastard you were with back at the club? He's not your type, Viv. He's not a small town guy like me. He's going to use you and then find another woman to use."

  I tried to stop myself from overreacting, but it was too late. Something deep inside of me snapped, and I turned, slapping Jackson hard in the face and yelling, "Leave me alone. Just because I wasn't good enough for you doesn't mean someone else won't love me. I'm lovable goddammit. I'm worthy of a good man."

  He jerked back as his cheek turned red. "I'll call you next week. Have a safe flight."

  I pressed my hands to my face and let out a soft sob as my tears turned into a full-on crying session in the middle of the lobby. Why did this shit keep happening to me? Was there no rest for the weary?

  The worst part was that my tears weren't over Jackson or my ineffectiveness to keep a man beside me, but over the one I was giving up due to my insecurities.

  I wanted to run upstairs and promise Easton the world if he would just love me.

  The scary thing was that some part of me knew that he already did.

  Chapter 22

  Easton

  I paced the floor until the sun came up. Calling her seemed like the right thing to do, but I'd watched how hard she struggled to leave me. It was a good clean break that set us back to being friends. The ball was in my court now to call her when I got back to New York, or not to call. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do. I'd mulled over it a zillion times before my alarm went off that next morning. She was headed home, but I had a full day of work ahead of me.

  Two resorts left to visit and no desire whatsoever to deal with the unruly bitch that ran both of them. She would be up my ass the entire day. And between getting no sleep and having Vivian walk away from the possibility of a future, I wasn't in the mood.

  After ironing my suit, I dressed quickly and checked my tie in the mirror before I left the penthouse. Some part of me wanted to run into the beautiful woman who'd stolen my heart, but I knew it was better if I didn't. Hopefully she was on her flight headed back to the comfort of New York. I wished I was.

  I grabbed a coffee from the pastry shop downstairs, letting my eyes move across the lobby in search of her. I couldn't help myself.

  "Do you need a car this morning, Mr. Parks?" An older valet smiled at me and extended his hand as I walked up. "I'm Tom. Nice to meet you, Sir. Love your work."

  "Well, thanks, Tom." I shook his hand and nodded. "I need a ride over to Valencia and then Carrington Hills. I'm going to try to work them both in today."

  "Sounds fun." He lifted his eyebrow. "You know they're under new management, right?"

  "I do. I've had the pleasure of working with Mrs. Tarrens before." I checked my watch and moved back as the man mumbled something about the woman being a scary witch or bitch. I didn't catch which one, but both would work just as well.

  "Here we go, Sir." He walked toward me and motioned for me to take the white Lexus at the front of the line of cars. "Good luck today."

  "Thanks. I don't really believe in luck." I walked to the car, pausing only to answer his next remark.

  "Fate then?"

  I turned and smirked. "Not at all. Fate's an unruly woman that's hell-bent on offering nothing more than a mirage."

  "Ouch." He rubbed his chest and smiled. "Let's hope she didn't hear you."

  After getting in the car and adjusting the mirrors, I looked into the rear-view mirror at myself and grimaced. "Let's hope she did hear me."

  Anger burned through me as I drove over to Valencia. Why would Vivian not even have the courtesy to call and say goodbye? I wasn't worth a fucking goodbye? How selfish of her. She knew I was falling in love with her. I could tell by the way she spoke to me, the way she looked at me. She was falling in love with me too. Was protecting herself worth crushing me?

  "I guess so." I pulled up to the beautiful hotel and got out, ignoring the valet and stopping by the front desk as I presented the attendant with a list of people and times. "I'm Easton Parks. I'll be interviewing the following people at the times listed. Show me to the conference room you have set up for me. I take my coffee black."

  "Yes, Sir." The young girl's eyes widened and her lip quivered slightly. I'd intimidated her by being a jackass.

  "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so pushy. Long morning." I ran my fingers through my hair as she glanced up.

  "The conference room is this way. I'll show you to it." She ignored my apology, not that I didn't completely deserve it, but it stung nevertheless. The day was sure to be shit, but I only had it to get through and then I could go home. I even considered looking for a red-eye flight later that night. The sooner I got home and spent some time around my family, the better I would feel. It was hard to be around them and not leave filled up with love and acceptance. They were just good like that.

  "Mr. Parks. What a treat." Eliza Tarrens stood in the open doorway of the conference room, her ego taking up what little bit of space her portly figure left available.

  "Miss Tarrens. The pleasure is all mine." I extended my hand to her and shook hers quickly before releasing her.

  "I see you have a full schedule today." She pressed her fingers to her lips. "Is there any way I can twist your arm to have dinner with me tonight? We have a new dish we're going to be introducing to the restaurant soon."

  "I appreciate that, but I have two resorts to inspect today, and my flight leaves late tonight. I could ask Kevin Jarrett to come by and sample the new dishes if you like?" I clasped my hands behind my back and tried not to notice how her dark gaze moved off my face and down my body over and over. The idea of being intimate with anyone but Viv left me cold, unmoved.

  Fuck.

  "No thanks. Kevin Jarrett is a weasel of the worst kind. I'll be putting in a comment on just how much of an ass he is." She growled in disgust and moved back out into the hall. "Let us know if you need anything. Make your interviews to the point and don't waste our time, good?"

  "Never. Time is money." I glanced down and busied myself, not wanting to give her another moment of my attention. If Kevin was a weasel, then she was a shark. I couldn't stand either of them. Jon and I would have to have a long talk when I got back from Los Angeles. Things needed to change, or we would soon find some of the goodwill associated with Wilmington and Branch diminished.

  *****

  I worked through the day, trying hard to keep myself on an even kilter and not act like the demanding ass that I felt like. The hotels were both in pristine shape, but I would expect nothing less from Eliza. She knew what we looked for, having worked for my boss for many years before I darkened the door of the company.

  The ride back to La Mage was long due to the hordes of people who lined the city streets in search of love, excitement, and pleasure. It was Saturday night and I had one more meeting to wrap up my visit. Kevin hadn't been on my radar in the latter half of the week, but I assumed it was because he was busy with his responsibilities, and besides, I was
wrapped up in Viv.

  Vivian.

  My heart throbbed in my chest as I pulled back into the resort’s driveway. She wasn't going to soon be off my mind. I needed to close things down completely with her or ask her to be mine. The latter sounded like a much better plan, but she was hardheaded. The chance of her denying me was relatively high, seeing that she'd done it multiple times already.

  I walked into the hotel and stopped by the front desk. "Evening. Can I speak with Jeffry when he's free?"

  "Of course, Mr. Parks. There's a private room at the back of the bar. Would you like to wait there, and I'll send a server in with a drink and dining menu?"

  "Sounds brilliant. Thank you." I turned and walked toward the bar as a bulky guy with brown hair turned and pinned me with a hard stare.

  "Hey. Aren't you the guy from the club earlier this week? The one who thinks he has a shot with my girl?" Jackson cracked his fingers and took a step toward me.

  I sighed internally. Now wasn't the time. I needed to wrap up this meeting and get the fuck back to New York. What Vivian ever saw in the behemoth in front of me was beyond me. He looked like every other football-playing, dip-chewing meathead I'd ever known.

  "She's not your girl, Jackson. You decided to fuck around on her, remember?" I drew my shoulders back, more than happy to remind him of who he was dealing with. I was the guy that wasn't scared to put his ass on the floor. I'd proven that.

  "You don't know shit, dude. Being with the same woman for ten years is a drag. Even someone as great as Viv." He let out a deflated sigh and lifted his eyes to the ceiling. "Or so I thought. I fucked up...bad."

  "Yeah, you did. I have a meeting right now, and I'm not really looking to console anyone for hurting Vivian. So enjoy your stay, and keep away from her. I'm not beyond putting a hurting on your ass again."

  He chuckled. "I get that. I tried to talk to her this morning, but she went ape-shit on me. Just do me a favor – don't hurt her, or I'll find you and bring some friends with me. She's a jewel, a really, really good woman. One of the last, I'm afraid. Cherish her, dude. I didn't, and I'll regret that shit for the rest of my life."