Belong to Me

by Laura Howard

  When the song ended, Uncle Paul announced they’d be taking a five-minute break.

  Noah kept his arms around me, his eyes intent on mine. “Having a good time?” he asked.

  “I am,” I said, bringing my hands up to his chest. “What about you?”

  “I don’t care what we’re doing. As long as you’re here, I’m happy.”

  “You have to admit, you like my moves,” I teased, running my fingers down his chest to his abdomen.

  He reached between us and stilled my hand. “Easy, tiger,” he said, his lips at my ear.

  I raised my eyebrows, but he might not have seen it because just then the lights went down again and the band came back out. They started their set with one of their own songs, “On the Run,” followed by a tune I didn’t recognize at first. When I figured it out, I grinned at Noah. “Gives You Hell” by The All-American Rejects.

  “Jack loved this song,” we both said at the same time. It sounded a little strange from Gridlocked, who typically played classic rock. But it somehow worked and the dance floor was vibrating with energy.

  Noah brought his forehead to mine as our bodies moved together. “Would you be offended if I told you I can’t wait to get you home tonight?” he asked.

  I pulled back a little. “You want to go home?” I asked.

  He wrapped a finger around a piece of hair that had come loose from my chignon. “I didn’t say that, so don’t go getting your panties in a bunch,” he said, tugging my hair.

  I raised a brow. “Hmm, who says I’m wearing any?”

  His eyes widened and he flattened his palm against my cheek, trailing his fingers down my neck in a caress. “You should not have told me that,” he said, pulling me toward him.

  I grinned, feeling smug. I actually was wearing some, but the tiny lie was worth seeing his reaction.

  After a few more songs and almost as many beers, I was feeling the buzz of the alcohol in my system. Noah had stopped drinking after two since he was driving, and I was pretty sure my lack of inhibition amused him.

  After the band played their second encore, I pulled Noah’s ear to my lips. “I’m ready for you to take me home,” I whispered.

  He chuckled and straightened up, but his eyes burned with intensity. He laced his fingers with mine and led me out the back without a word, only stopping to get my vest and his jacket from the coat check.

  As we drove toward the apartment, Noah was quiet, keeping his eyes on the road. I took in the hard line of his jaw, my eyes tracing the contours of his neck and moving over his chest. I shivered a little as he shifted gears, causing the muscles of his abdomen to stand out through his T-shirt.

  He glanced over. “Are you cold?” he asked, reaching for the dial of the heater.

  I swallowed and watched him, not responding to the question. After a moment, he looked over at me again and tilted his head. “What?” he asked, laughing a little.

  I shook my head. “Nothing. You’re just handsome.”

  His eyes widened. “You really are drunk.”

  “Nah,” I said, though he wasn’t very far off. “Maybe a little buzzed.”

  He nodded his head in time to the music, but he couldn’t hide his tiny smirk. I stayed quiet the rest of the ride, staring out the window.

  When we pulled into his parking space, Noah told me to wait before I got out. I smiled, wondering what he had in mind.

  He walked around the car and opened the door for me. “What’s this?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “I’m being romantic. Just keep quiet and let me make a gesture.”

  I rolled my eyes. “The words sort of cancel out the deed.”

  He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my seat, then shut the door with his foot. “Not true,” he said.

  I couldn’t help smiling. He didn’t need to try to romance me—he already had me in the palm of his hand.

  He led me up the stairs and unlocked the door, then pulled me inside.

  As soon as the door clicked behind us, his hand was on my neck, pulling me close. His other hand pulled my vest off my shoulders, letting it drop to the floor.

  “You take my breath away,” he said against my lips. He kissed the corner of my mouth, his lips trailing down my throat. My head fell back in pleasure and I closed my eyes to savor the feel of him.

  “This dress,” he said, his voice practically a growl. He flicked the strap off my shoulder, his mouth peppering tiny kisses over my skin. “I have been imagining what it would look like in a pile at your feet all night.”

  I reached out and traced the waistband of his jeans, hooking my fingers in the material above the button. It came unlatched and I dipped my hands inside his boxers, feeling him shudder under my touch.

  “God, Kate,” he whispered against my skin. “I never stopped wanting you. Not for one minute.”

  I froze, his words like ice water on my desire. Ripping my hands from his body, I stumbled back. He might not have been trying to hurt me, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t.

  “Kate?” he said, his head cocked to the side. “What’s wrong?”

  I ground my teeth together, tears forming behind my eyes. “Don’t tease about that.”

  His eyes widened. “What are you talking about?”

  I turned my back, trying to regain control of myself. I’d tried for months to let go of my memory of that night, but with each of our fights it grew and festered in me—a tumor I couldn’t excise. I reached out and grabbed the top of a chair at the kitchen table, holding it to keep myself steady.

  “Say something,” Noah said, his voice on the edge of anger and panic.

  I took a deep breath. “You can’t say you never stopped wanting me. It’s just...not true.”

  “Are you serious?” he asked, speaking louder now. “Is this about Danielle? I knew I shouldn’t have told you any of that.”

  “No, it’s not about that. Danielle is just more proof of my theory. You stopped wanting me, in every way, long before I left for London.” The words were flowing out of me. I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or just pent up anger that had been eating away at me for months.

  “What makes you say that?” he asked, and I peeked at him over my shoulder. He’d shoved his hands in his hair and started pacing.

  Facing him, I steeled myself to get this off my chest. “You were up late one night studying for finals. You came to bed and when I tried to touch you, to comfort you, you shuddered like you were repulsed. You got up without a word and went to sleep on the couch.”

  His eyes widened in disbelief. “I have no memory of that.”

  “That’s pretty sad. It’s a night I’ll never forget, but you don’t even know what I’m talking about,” I said in a small voice. “I knew something was wrong when you came into the room, but you wouldn’t talk to me…you didn’t even want me to be near you.”

  His full lips thinned. “You have everything so twisted.”

  “How?” I gaped at him. “After that, you hardly ever came to bed anymore.”

  “That’s what this was about?” His voice was taut with frustration. “Are you serious?”

  “You wouldn’t talk to me during the day, and you didn’t want to be in my bed at night,” I said, heat spreading over my neck. I lowered my eyes. “That sends a pretty clear message.”

  “I just needed…” He clasped a hand to the back of his neck, shaking his head. “I don’t know what I needed. Things were going so well for Jack and I was just floundering.”

  “It hurt that you stopped wanting me,” I said, turning away. “But the fact that you wouldn’t even talk to me? That was unbearable.”

  “My head was in a funny place—I won’t lie about that—but I promise I wasn’t intentionally trying to push you away.”

  I put my head in my hands, swallowing.

  “Are you ever going to forgive me for that?” he asked. “Because if we can’t straighten out our past, maybe we should focus on the future.”

  “I want to get over it,” I s
aid, shaking my head. But what if it happens again?

  “Do you?” he asked, giving me a hard look. “Because I feel like you’ll never let go of the idea that I abandoned you.”

  “I can’t help feeling we’re doomed to repeat the mistakes of our past.” I stared down at the floor to avoid looking at him.

  “Don’t pretend I’m the only one to blame.” He cut me a sharp glance. “I might have been distant, but you have to admit it was pretty convenient for you.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “The opportunity for London came up, and you didn’t have to worry about your depressed boyfriend anymore. It was the perfect chance for you to get as far away from Moore Crossing as possible. ”

  “Depressed?” I said, my hand coming to my neck. “You never told me that. And for the record, it was not convenient for me. My heart was broken.”

  “Mine was too.” He rubbed his hands over his face before letting them fall to his sides.

  We stood facing each other. The fiery passion from earlier had fizzled, with only our insecurities left behind. Neither of us spoke for a minute, afraid to say the wrong thing.

  “Maybe you’re right,” I said, finally.

  “Did I hear that right?” His eyes narrowed.

  “Let me speak, will you?” I said, but my voice lacked any real anger.

  He nodded, gesturing for me to continue.

  “You said we should focus on the future.” I shrugged. “Maybe I am too hung up on the past.”

  He narrowed his eyes and nodded. “Okay.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping I’d be able to actually keep my word.

  He approached me tentatively. His hand came up to stroke my cheek and I opened my mouth to speak, but he put a finger on my lips to quiet me.

  “The only future for me is with you,” he whispered, his eyes searching mine.

  I nodded, but he wasn’t finished.

  “I’m so sorry I hurt you,” he said, his fingers still resting lightly on my cheeks. “But the only thing that matters to me is that you’re mine.”

  In response, I reached up and hooked my arms around his neck. Without saying anything, I pulled him to me and he leaned forward to press his lips to mine.

  I moved my lips softly against his, the contact filling me with warmth. His lips parted and I sighed at how good they felt.

  Without warning he bent down, keeping one arm around my back. He placed his other arm behind my knees and picked me up.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, surprised.

  His lips hovering over mine, he said, “Bringing you to our bed.”

  As he walked, he kissed one corner of my lips, then the other. He turned when he got to the partially open bedroom door and pushed it open with his hip.

  When he got to the bed, he dropped me on my back a little harder than I’d expected. “Not so romantic,” I said, my mouth twisting into a smirk.

  He quirked a brow. “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet,” he said, straddling my hips. He grasped my wrists and lifted them up over my head. Tingles spread through my body as he trailed his fingertips down my arms, his touch feather light. My heart rate spiked when he straightened and sat back on his heels.

  Picking up my leg, he ran his hand down over my knee to slide one boot off. He repeated this on my other leg, then tossed the boots over his shoulder.

  Without tearing his eyes from mine, he smoothed a path down my calves to my thighs and dipped his fingers under the material of my skirt, which was nearly up around my hips. He slowly pushed up the fabric. When he revealed my lace panties, he arched a brow.

  “What’s this?” he asked. I sucked in a sharp breath as his fingers hooked under the waistband.

  I swallowed, barely able to speak. “I was just teasing.”

  “Oh?” he said, tracing the edge of my panties with his fingers, sending shivers down my spine.

  I nodded, unsure I could open my mouth without making an embarrassing noise.

  “You like teasing me, don’t you?”

  I stayed perfectly still. I was pretty sure he wasn’t looking for an answer, anyway.

  Noah reached under my shoulders and pulled me up so I was sitting in front of him. He grabbed the dress, and in one quick move, had it up and over my shoulders. As it fell to the floor with a whisper, he gently pushed me back onto the bed. His eyes scanned my bare skin, from my shoulders down to my stomach, then back up to my face.

  He removed his shirt and jeans in record time. I began getting impatient, wanting him to stop taking his time with me. I slid my arms around his waist, running my hands up his back. When he didn’t resist, I pulled him down so our chests were flush. Before our lips met, he eased back a little.

  “Noah,” I said in frustration.

  One corner of his mouth turned up. “Yes, Kate?”

  “What are you doing?” I said.

  “You don’t like being teased either, do you?” he said, smirking.

  Before I could say another word, he leaned in and covered my lips with his. This kiss was not gentle. It was raw and scorching, filling all of my senses. I forgot about loss and pain and miscommunication when he kissed me like that. There was only the electricity filling my body, building up to a breaking point.

  He trailed his lips down over my jaw, to the delicate skin below my ear. As his mouth grazed my neck, his warm hands ran down my sides and his fingers pulled my panties down, leaving me bare. I brought my hands down to the hard muscles of his back and slid his boxers over his hips, my movements clumsy with my rising urgency.

  With nothing between us, Noah brought his face to mine and peered into my eyes. I lifted my hands to his cheeks and pulled him closer so I could sweep my lips over his. Our breaths were coming fast now. If I’d thought I was at the breaking point before, it was nothing compared to the tidal wave building in me as his lips moved against mine, his tongue flicking out to trace my lower lip.

  His hands moved to my hips, and I let my knees fall to either side of me. He angled himself above me, holding my gaze. I closed my eyes, exhaling raggedly, but he tipped my chin forward, demanding I look at him. Without a sound, he slid into me. I bit my lip and rose my hips to meet his.

  “You feel so good, baby,” he said, and he sucked in a sharp breath.

  “Noah,” I whispered over and over as he rocked into me. I could barely speak—so filled with emotion for this man who drove me to the edge of insanity, this man I loved more than anything in the world.

  When we came together, it was intense and heart shattering. He brought his forehead to mine and kept it there until our breathing settled. Then he snuggled down beside me and pulled the blankets over us. “Goodnight,” he said, and kissed my forehead. And just like most nights, I fell asleep with my head on his chest and my arm stretched across his middle.

  I woke to the smell of coffee and Noah. When I cracked an eye open, I regretted it. A throbbing pain pulsed between my temples.

  “Why are you on top of me?” I mumbled from under his shoulder. I felt like I was a pencil and he was one of those koalas clinging to me. His arms and legs held me in a vice grip, leaving barely any wiggle room.

  He mumbled something unintelligible into my hair, but didn’t loosen his hold. Feeling claustrophobic, I inched my knee up to his belly and pushed as hard as I could.

  He groaned. “What the hell was that for?” he asked, rolling onto his back.

  “You were suffocating me,” I said, trying to sit up, but his arm returned to my chest, pinning me down.

  “I was holding you,” he said.

  “This isn’t snuggling, this is suffocating.”

  He loosened his hold, though he kept his hand resting on my stomach. “Fine, as long as you’re not going anywhere.”

  Despite the dull thud in my head, I couldn’t help smiling. “I’m not going anywhere,” I said.

  My words must have reassured him, because I felt his whole body relax. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, just rubbed lazy circles a
round my belly button.

  “What are you thinking about?” he finally said.

  “Nothing really, why?”

  He lifted a shoulder. “Just wondering. You’re always thinking.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I smirked, looking up at him. “You aren’t?”

  He chuckled. “I just don’t over-think everything like you do.”

  “I should probably be offended right now,” I said.

  “But you aren’t.” His tone was rather self-assured, so I poked him in the arm.

  “Nope,” I said with a grin. “Because I smell coffee brewing, and caffeine cures all evils.”

  “Do I know you or what?” he said, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

  My phone went off, echoing in the quiet apartment. Noah’s eyes widened. The ringtone was the intro from Elton John’s The Bitch is Back.

  I threw the covers over my head and groaned. “That’s Kelsey’s ring.”

  “Do you want me to get it?” he said with a laugh.

  “I guess,” I said, the blanket still covering my face. Still, I couldn’t help but peek out to watch his naked sprint into the living room.

  I heard him answer the phone and make some obligatory small talk as he walked back in the room. He didn’t even bother trying to cover himself up. He was completely unabashed in all his naked glory, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  The clock read ten a.m. My parents would be at church, probably with my sister. I held out my hand as he stood in front of me chatting away. Still naked.

  “The ceremony’s at Cadarette Field a week from Saturday,” he said. She was asking when his graduation was. He hadn’t even brought it up to me, probably because he thought it would make me upset. After all, it would have been Jack’s graduation as well.

  I leaned over the edge of the bed and grabbed his boxers, tossing them at his head. Still holding the phone, he snatched them out of mid-air with a smirk. He turned away and slowly bent down and slid them over his feet. Casting a devilish look over his shoulder, he inched them up his legs in a reverse strip tease.