Parker's Island

by Kimberly Schwartzmiller

  “Make sure you eat, too. You’re looking awfully thin,” she smiled, patted my shoulder and then they headed out the door, hand in hand.

  The next day I headed to school, determined to make the best of a bad situation. I would not show Logan how upset I was. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

  I tried really hard to make small talk with Logan all morning, and finally just gave up and accepted the uncomfortable silence. I was thrilled when it was finally lunch and I could stop pretending that his rejection didn’t bother me.

  “You’re not eating anything again, Delaney?” Molly asked me when she joined our table and saw me without a lunch tray.

  “No, I’m not hungry. I had a big breakfast.”

  “I thought you weren’t going to lie anymore,” she said, shaking her finger at me.

  “I’m not ly…fine. Okay, I’m just not hungry.”

  The rest of our friends, including Jason, joined us. We were all just chatting about nothing in particular when Logan walked over and said, “Delaney, may I talk to you for a minute…please?”

  Suddenly the table went completely silent. My friends were all stunned by the sudden appearance of the known loner. Logan made it a point to keep to himself. He never talked to anyone at lunch. He usually just sat alone or read outside under a tree if the weather was nice.

  “Um…sure,” I said, standing up. Logan headed outside, and walked toward the soccer field. I looked at Molly, shrugged my shoulders and then I followed him.

  He walked out a ways and then turned to face me. He had that look on his face again, like he wanted to tell me something, but couldn’t. “Delaney, I wanted to explain why I can’t go out with you. I want to go out with you, honestly, it’s just…”

  “You don’t owe me an explanation. You don’t owe me anything,” I said, not wanting to have this conversation.

  “I know I hurt your feelings. That was the last thing I wanted to do. I’m so sorry.”

  “No, I’m fine. It’s no big deal,” I lied…yet again.

  “It is to me. I would really love to go out with you, but like I said yesterday, I can’t.”

  “Okay, fine,” I snapped, tired of reliving his rejection.

  “Don’t you want to know why?” he pushed.

  “It doesn’t matter. If you can’t, then you can’t,” I said, willing myself not to cry. I was looking down at the freshly cut grass when he reached out and touched my arm. It was like an electric shock. An intense feeling swept through me. I looked up then, losing the battle of my will as one single tear slid down my cheek, betraying the brave front I was trying so hard to put forth.

  “Please don’t cry. You don’t know how badly I wanted to say yes…and if I were free, I would have asked you out months ago.”

  I wiped the unwanted tear from my cheek and thought about what he said for a minute. “Free?”

  “Yes, I’m…involved with…someone,” he said sadly.

  “You have a girlfriend?” I asked, not sure if I felt better or worse at the thought.

  “No, not exactly.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  There was that look again. He stood there, staring at me again, but said nothing. I finally asked, “So you’re involved with someone, but she’s not your girlfriend?”

  “No,” he took a deep breath and said, “…she’s my wife.”

  “Your what?” I asked, certain he couldn’t have said he had a wife.

  “Delaney, I’m married.”

  I stood there shocked. I would have thought he was lying if it weren’t for the look on his face.

  “I don’t understand. How can you be married? You’re only in high school.”

  “I’m 19, almost 20. It’s complicated, but I really am married,” he said. “So, now you understand why I couldn’t say yes?”

  “Um…yes,” I said, still in shock.

  “I think you should probably get back to your friends now. They probably think I’ve done something terrible to you.”

  “Why would they think that?” I asked, my head still reeling.

  “I know I’m not well liked here, Delaney. I don’t care what people here think about me. I only care what you think. I’m so sorry I hurt you. Please believe me, if I wasn’t…married, you wouldn’t be able to keep me away.”

  He lightly touched my cheek with the back of his hand and then turned and walked away.

  I stood there with tears streaming down my cheeks until the bell rang, bringing me out of my stupor. I wasn’t sure if I was upset because I had no hope of ever having Logan, or if I was upset because of the pain I saw in his eyes. There was no happiness when he spoke of her. He didn’t talk about her like a man in love. In fact, he never said he loved her or even spoke her name. Something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. “It doesn’t matter. He’s married and that’s that!” I told myself, then wiped my eyes and headed to fifth period.

  The rest of the day I walked around in a stupor, still completely shocked. All of my friends made it a point to ask me what Logan wanted and I couldn’t even answer them. I was so lost in thought that Molly finally smacked me. “Snap out of it. What the hell did he do to you?” she asked, sounding angry at him.

  “What? He didn’t do anything. He was very nice. He just apologized for upsetting me.”

  “So, then are you guys finally going out?”

  “What? No.” I was still in shock.

  “Delaney, I don’t get you at all,” she said, and then asked if I wanted a ride home.

  “No, I think I need to walk home today. But thanks, anyway.” I knew without a doubt, I needed to sort through some things in my head.

  “Okay, I’ll pick you up in the morning. It’s our last day of high school, EVER – time to party!!!!” she grinned.

  “Yeah, our last day.” I tried to smile, but couldn’t. My countdown was over…and I had lost!

  Chapter Three: The Big Blow Out!

  Whether it was that he didn’t want to cause me any more pain, or he couldn’t stand the uncomfortable silence any longer, Logan didn’t come to the last day of school.

  I walked around in a fog, trying to accept that he was not only gone, but married. That was a hard pill for me to swallow. I sat down with my friends during what was to be our last school lunch. I bought a sandwich, but was too preoccupied to actually eat it.

  Brian Walters came over to our table then and asked if he could talk to me for a minute.

  Molly whispered in my ear, “Too bad it’s the last day of school. That’s two days in a row that a hot guy steals you away from us at lunch,” she grinned.

  I rolled my eyes at her and stood up slowly. “Okay.”

  We walked a few feet away and Brian said, “Um, I know this is sort of last minute and I know you’ll probably say no, but it’s the last day of school and I don’t know when or if I’ll see you again, so here goes…would you like to go to our graduation party with me?” he asked, and then I heard him exhale loudly.

  I saw Molly out of the corner of my eye shaking her head and mouthing the words, ‘Tell him yes!’

  For a moment, Logan flashed into my mind, but this time he was wearing a tux and standing next to a bride…his bride. I knew then that I had to get on with my life. I looked at Brian, who I always thought was a really nice guy, and I took a deep breath before saying, “Sure, that sounds like fun.”

  “It’s okay, I understa…what did you say?” he asked.

  “I said yes, I’d like to go to the party with you.”

  “Really, are you sure…no I mean, that’s great! The ferry leaves the dock at 6:30, so I’ll pick you up at 5:45. That should give us plenty of time.”

  “Okay, I’ll be ready.” Suddenly my parents flashed through my mind, and I said, “You know, maybe we should just meet at the Ferry.”

  “I don’t mind picking you up at your house, really. I should meet your parents,” he said, looking like he was afraid I was going to back out of the date.

  “I
won’t be home; I’ll be…at Molly’s house,” I lied.

  “Oh, okay. I’ll pick you up there. Where does she live?”

  “I’d really rather meet you at the Ferry. Molly and Jason can bring me to meet you.”

  Afraid to push his luck, he agreed to meet me at the Ferry at 6:00. Then he said, “Thanks. We’ll have a great time.”

  Molly was so thrilled when I got back to the table she could hardly contain her excitement. She was much more excited than I was, but I was determined to let Logan go and start to live my life, whether I wanted to or not.

  I did have one small problem though…two actually…my parents.

  The next night was graduation. Logan didn’t come for that, either. It was a bitter-sweet ceremony with lots of tears, laughter and long commencement speeches. I was thrilled when it was over and I could go back to the sanctity of my room. My parents had other ideas however, and took me out to celebrate at my favorite seafood restaurant.

  I did my best to be pleasant at dinner and thanked my parents not only for dinner, but the beautiful diamond earrings they bought me. I knew they were expensive and they probably couldn’t afford them, but I accepted them graciously, knowing that if I said anything about the cost I would only embarrass them. Their gift only made deceiving them all the more painful. But, I knew I couldn’t back out of the party now.

  Molly and I planned everything down to the last detail. I wasn’t only going to lie to my parents, but I was doing something I knew just didn’t feel right. I was resolved to go through with it, however, and Saturday morning I packed my bag and reminded my mom I was going to spend the night at Molly’s house.

  “Have a good time, honey. Delaney, you never did tell me about that boy. Did you ever ask him out again?” my mom asked sheepishly, not wanting to cause me anymore pain, but obviously interested.

  “No, I never got the chance,” I lied again. I grabbed my bag and headed to the door, knowing Molly would probably already be out there waiting for me, not giving me any opportunity to back out.

  “There are a lot of fish in the sea, honey. You’ll find the right one.”

  “I know, Mom. Bye.” I felt so guilty, but I had made up my mind and I was going to go through with it. My very first date. I took a deep breath and headed to the car.

  “We are going to have SO MUCH FUN!!!!” Molly squealed.

  “I hope so.”

  When we got to Molly’s house, she grabbed my bag and emptied its contents onto her bed.

  “Why did you do that?” I asked, irritated.

  “UH HUH, just as I thought. You don’t have a dress. Just what did you plan to wear tonight?”

  “I brought a dress,” I said, picking it up off of her bed and holding it up in front of me.

  “There is no way that you’re going to wear that dress to our party.”

  “Why not? I like it.”

  “Of course you do. It screams preacher’s daughter. Well, it’s a good thing that I knew you were going to do this. I bought a dress for you. Don’t worry, it was on sale and you can pay me back later if you want,” she smiled a very mischievous smile that instantly made me nervous.

  “NO WAY! I won’t wear that dress,” I said when she pulled it out of her closet.

  “Just try it on…please!” she said, obviously ready for a fight.

  “NO! There’s nothing to it.”

  “Delaney, you’re the one that said you were going to try to have fun tonight. You said you were ready to start dating and move forward with your life. You can’t dress in Sunday clothes forever. TRY ON THE DRESS!” She held it out for me, daring me to refuse.

  “Fine!” I said, grabbing it and heading into the bathroom.

  I slipped into the dress, or what there was of it, and then turned toward the mirror, certain I would hate it. I stared at the young woman in the mirror for a second, not sure that it was really me. I actually filled it out. I couldn’t believe it.

  Molly walked in then. “Wow!” was all she said.

  “Is that really me?”

  “Oh yeah, and with a little make up and your hair done just right, you’re going to have Brian and every other guy at the party panting after you! You can wear your graduation earrings from your parents. Diamond’s will go perfectly with the dress.”

  I wasn’t sure it was the most appropriate dress, but I did think it was pretty and I was determined to try to fit in tonight. “Thank you,” I said, still amazed that I was able to fill out the dress.

  “You’re welcome. Bet you didn’t even know you had boobs, did you?” she laughed at my obvious cleavage.

  “Um, I guess I never paid much attention.”

  “Trust me, Brian will,” she grinned.

  I stepped out of Molly’s car and Brian instantly made his way toward me. He stopped about a foot from me and said, “OH, Wow! You’re so beautiful.”

  I think I must have blushed, but was grateful for the compliment. “You look very nice, Brian. Thanks for meeting me here.”

  “What? Oh yeah, sure,” he said, still staring at me in a very strange way.

  He stood there for a few minutes, not saying anything and finally I said, “Are you ready to go?”

  He said nothing, nor did he move. He just stared at me.

  “Come on Brian, take her arm and let’s go!” Molly said, grinning at his obvious fascination with the new me.

  The ferry ride was fine. Neither of us could think of much to say, but I felt comfortable with him nonetheless. Then Chad walked over, “Hi Laney. I thought you weren’t coming to the party?” he said with gritted teeth.

  “Oh, well I hadn’t planned on it, but I guess I changed my mind,” I said, forgetting that he had asked me weeks ago and I turned him down.

  “I see. Well, you look very…nice,” he said, and then strutted off, heading back toward Hailey. I noticed she didn’t look very happy. I couldn’t imagine being happy if I was with Chad, either. He just gave me a bad feeling. I turned back to Brian and smiled, actually happy that I was with him.

  “Chad’s wrong, you know. Nice doesn’t even begin to describe how exceptional you look. Every guy here is completely jealous of me tonight. I still can’t believe you said yes, but I’m so glad you did. I’m the luckiest guy alive.”

  I didn’t know what to say, but when I looked into his eyes, I saw a kindness there and I realized that he really was a nice, decent guy. And although my heart was somewhere else, I realized I was almost having fun and I smiled at him and said, “I think I’m the lucky one.”

  He took my compliment as a sign and leaned down to kiss me, but I pulled away, certain I wasn’t ready for that.

  “I’m sorry. You’re just so…I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and said, “I didn’t mean to rush you. I mean, I hope I didn’t offend you. I don’t want to scare you off. I’m not expecting…anything from you...okay?” he said apologetically.

  “You didn’t scare me off. I’m just not ready for anything…physical,” I said, hoping he understood.

  “I promise I won’t ask you to do anything you’re not ready for. I’m just happy you’re here with me.”

  The ferry docked, and we were all ushered onto Parker’s Island. I had to admit, it was very beautiful. I hadn’t been to the island in a few years. I forgot how pretty it was. It was dusk and the lights from the island were sparkling off the water, casting a romantic glow all around. It was breathtaking, and I couldn’t help but feel it was almost magical.

  “Shall we?” Brian asked, offering me his arm.

  “Yes,” I said, smiling and taking his arm.

  The actual party was being held at Parker’s Inn. We had the entire hotel all night. The last ferry was leaving the island at 2:00 am, instead of the usual 11:00 pm, in honor of the annual party. Some of the kids planned on staying over-night, having booked rooms at the hotel in advance. I was wondering what they told their parents. I assumed many of them lied, like I did. But, at least I wasn’t staying all night. I was taking the
last ferry and going back to Molly’s house. Suddenly I was a bit nervous, but excited at the same time. Brian was really nice, and he seemed to actually respect my wishes. I realized that I hadn’t even thought of Logan once since I stepped out of Molly’s car and saw Brian. Maybe I did have a shot at happiness, after all.

  “Are you hungry?” Brian asked, pointing to the enormous amount of food at the buffet line.

  “No, not really.” I was entirely too nervous to even think about eating anything. “But I’d love something to drink.”

  “Oh sure. I’ll be right back,” he said, and headed over to the bar.

  He brought back two cups of lemonade. “Is this okay?” he asked.

  “Yes, lemonade is great.”

  “So, would you like to dance?”

  “I’ve never actually danced before. I’ll probably step all over your feet. I probably should have told you that when you asked me to the party,” I said, feeling bad that I had to deny him such an important part of the party.

  “You can’t hurt these feet,” he said, lifting his pant leg and showing me an enormous foot.

  “Wow. Now that’s impressive,” I said, smiling.

  “Yeah, you should see me trying to buy shoes. Then, how about a walk?”

  “You’re obviously well equipped for that,” I grinned at him.

  “That’s for sure. How about you, though? Those shoes don’t look very comfortable. They look great, but not very comfortable for walking.”

  “I think I’m okay to take a short walk. If we walk on the beach, then I can take these stupid shoes off.”

  He offered me his arm and said, “Sounds wonderful. But, you still owe a dance when we get back.”

  “You might be sorry.”

  “No, I don’t think so,” he said sincerely.

  We walked along the beach together, talking about this or that, high school and where we planned to attend college. He was offered a few full football scholarships at different schools around the U.S. He hadn’t made up his mind where he was going yet. I told him I didn’t know where I was going yet, either.