Keep You From Harm

by Debra Doxer

  Once we’re settled in, he orders coffee, and I do the same. “Would you like anything to eat?” he asks.

  I shake my head.

  Alec waits for our coffee to arrive before introducing the subject he wants to discuss. When the waitress places our mugs on the table, the hot liquid steams in the air between us. I take a sip and feel the burn run down the length of my throat.

  “Penelope had another MRI today,” he says. He watches me carefully now. “They found exactly what you said. There’s an inoperable tumor in her brain. It’s pushing down on the area that controls her respiratory system. Her prognosis isn’t good.”

  I put my hands around the warm coffee cup. I knew this. I didn’t know the exact details, but I knew she might not have much time. Alec’s jaw is tight and despite his cool, concise description of Penelope’s condition, I can see he’s making an effort to hold himself together. When I don’t say anything, he continues.

  “She could have a few months, maybe less. I want you to help her.”

  I meet his eyes, and I can see the pain there. I know how close he and Penelope are. “I wish I could,” I reply.

  His spoon clatters to the table, startling me. He leans in close to me. “I know more about you and how your healing works than Kyle does. I’ve seen what both your mother and grandmother can do. I understand when it’s this bad you can’t get rid of it. But you can still help her.”

  My eyes widen in shock as I begin to lean away from him, pressing my back into the booth.

  “I’ve been preparing myself for this possibility. I want you to give it to me,” he says. His pleading eyes drill into mine.

  I blink at him, wondering if I’m understanding him correctly. “I can’t do that,” I tell him carefully.

  “Yes, you can. I’ve seen your mother do it. You only have to be touching us at the same time. That’s how it works.”

  I slowly move my hands into my lap. I rub my sweating palms against my jeans. “You want me to give you a deadly disease,” I state, not quite believing what I’m hearing.

  “Yes. I’m volunteering for it. Surely, you don’t think Penelope should die instead of an old man like me?”

  Even as I’m resisting the idea, I can understand it, and I admire him for his sacrifice. But I still can’t agree to it.

  “We’ll do it tomorrow,” he continues. “I’ve already told Kyle and Chloe.”

  This surprises me. “They’re okay with this?”

  “They’re accepting of it. It’s better than the alternative,” he states, sitting back now, taking a sip of his coffee.

  My heart starts to pound as I consider what he’s asking me to do. He’s basically telling me to kill him. How can I possibly agree to that? “I’m sorry. No,” I say, averting my eyes, staring down into my coffee.

  “Are you saying you can’t do it or you won’t,” he snaps.

  “Both.”

  He pushes his coffee away. I watch as the remaining liquid sloshes over the side onto the table. “I know you’re capable of doing it. That just leaves the fact that you’re refusing to.”

  As I’m watching him, his cheeks begin to flush.

  “Why?” he demands.

  I take a deep breath and grasp my hands in my lap. “You’re asking me to kill you. I can’t do that. Even if you’re volunteering for it.”

  He stares at me. “I could pay you.”

  My mouth drops open. “No,” I say firmly.

  He barks out a laugh that startles me. “You’re appalled at the thought of taking money? You’re nothing like your grandmother. But you will change your mind.” He runs a hand over his neatly slicked back hair and leans in over the table again. “Listen to me closely, Raielle. Kyle told you that I went to talk to your mother about helping Penelope. What he doesn’t know is that when your mother refused to help, I started thinking about you. So I hired someone to go to San Diego and watch you.”

  My eyes widen at this.

  “He saw something interesting one day. A boy on a basketball court jumped up to the hoop, sunk the ball, and came down hard, twisting his leg. He couldn’t stand up again. He was obviously hurt, and you were there watching. When the other kids went to get help, you walked over and touched him. A few moments later, he stood up as though nothing was wrong.”

  My mouth goes dry. He’s describing the day I healed Ritchie’s leg. Ritchie and I were fostered together for a while. He played basketball near our apartment. This happened only a few weeks before my mother was killed.

  Alec narrows his eyes. “That’s when I realized I didn’t need your mother.”

  My breathing grows shallow, and I push back even further against the booth.

  “But I knew she would never agree to let you help us.”

  I can feel the few sips of coffee in my stomach turning sour and working their way back up. “You killed her,” I whisper.

  He nods gravely at me. “I had her killed.”

  “You hired Rob Jarvis,” I mutter, as the room seems to tilt.

  He narrows his eyes even more, seeming surprised that I know this. “That’s right. I met him at the nursing home where your grandmother lives. I caught him stealing medication when he thought no one was looking. I figured he wouldn’t turn down some extra cash. So I paid him to watch you. When I realized you’d inherited your family’s special talent, I paid him more to kill your mother. I knew that would bring you here. By then Penelope showed no other signs of her illness, but the doctors said it would be back. Having you here was my insurance. I was hoping I would never have to collect on it, but the time has come. Surely you can’t feel any remorse about what I’m asking you to do now.”

  My throat is too tight to respond. I’m wondering how soon I can get away from him and call the police.

  As though reading my mind, he says, “If you go to the authorities, they’ll arrest me, and I won’t be able to help Penelope. Kyle will lose us both. There’s no reason for that to happen. Kyle and Chloe had nothing to do with my actions, and I haven’t told them the part I played in your mother’s death. Kyle is a good man. He would never approve of what I’ve done.” He eyes me with renewed hope. “You must see the justice in this. I’ll be paying the highest price for my crime. Why would you refuse to let me?”

  I look into his determined face, and I’m repulsed by him. How can this man be capable of loving his granddaughter so fiercely that he’s willing to die for her, but also be responsible for so callously having my mother killed? Now he’s handing me his fate on a silver platter and providing me the means to save Penelope at the same time.

  I can’t stand to look at him anymore. He’s the reason my mother is dead. I stare down at my fisted hands, at war with myself as my insides twist into knots. Can I stand by and watch Penelope suffer and die when this evil man is giving me a seemingly righteous way to stop it? I’d rather watch him suffer and die. I realize I want him to. I uncurl my fingers and reach up to pull on my hair, mindlessly reacting to the terrible building pressure inside me. When I feel Alec touch my arm, I flinch back, spilling my coffee across the table.

  “Everything okay here?” the waitress asks, placing a stack of napkins in front of me.

  I stare down at them as Alec tells her we’re fine.

  “Okay,” I hear myself saying once the waitress is gone. When he doesn’t respond, my eyes flick up to his face.

  His eyebrows are raised. “Okay?”

  I nod and dart my gaze away from him again.

  “Thank you,” he says. I can hear that he’s relieved, not scared or regretful, just satisfied to be getting what he wants. “Tomorrow, then. I’ll come to the house.”

  I offer a single nod in response. The need to get away from him is too strong to resist. “I’m walking home,” I announce. I stand and rush out of the diner as quickly as I can. I keep walking all the way down Main Street until I’m able to turn a corner and disappear behind a wall of bushes. I pray he hasn’t followed me. As I glance around me, my body is so tense my jaw begin
s to ache from clenching it. The anger inside me is a like a fire that wants to consume me. My throat is too tight to scream out my rage. So instead, I take my foot and kick at a tree trunk beside me. I ram the tip of my shoe into the rough bark again and again. I hardly register the pain vibrating up my leg as I continue to assault the tree until I’m too exhausted to continue. Then I slump to the ground and just sit there, breathing hard, staring down at the dirt.

  I’m not sure how long I stay this way before I hear my phone ringing. At first, I don’t want to answer it, but then I think of Lucas and his concerned instruction about not ignoring his calls. When I pull it from my pocket, I feel relieved to see that it’s him. “Hi,” I answer, knowing I don’t sound like myself.

  “Hey, beautiful. Want to do something tonight?”

  His good cheer is so misplaced that I can’t form a response. Soon I’m crying, and I hear Lucas asking me what’s wrong. When I don’t answer, he begins yelling over the phone.

  I’m more trouble for him than I’m worth. Here I am, having another crisis. He’s going to get tired of this, tired of me, and I won’t blame him when he does.

  I make an effort to calm myself down enough to talk. “I’m on the corner of Main and Hillside. Please come get me,” I whisper.

  “Don’t move,” he orders, sounding panicked. “I’ll be right there.”

  I rub my eyes and pull in a shaky breath as I realize that I’m covered in dirt. Brushing myself off, I move out onto the sidewalk. I’ve hardly waited at all when his familiar truck appears down the road. It screeches to a stop in front of me, and Lucas jumps out. His eyes grow wide at the sight of me.

  “Damn it, Ray! What the hell happened?” he yells, coming toward me.

  Once he’s standing on the sidewalk in front of me, I’m so relieved to have him here; I just want to burrow into his arms. Instead, I release a lungfull of air. “I think I had a little breakdown,” I answer feeling both drained and foolish, hoping none of this is real but knowing it is.

  His brows furrow as he grabs the tops of my arms and leans down to look into my eyes. “What do you mean you had a little breakdown?”

  I stare into two blue pools filled with concern for me. “Alec just told me he hired Rob Jarvis to kill my mother,” I say, hearing the odd monotone sound of my voice.

  His startled gaze searches mine. “What? He told you that?”

  I nod. “Your instincts were right about Jarvis. Alec asked my mother to heal Penelope. When she wouldn’t do it, he had us watched to find out if I could heal, too. Once he knew I could, he had her killed so that I’d have to come here.”

  He leans back from me and runs a hand through his hair. “Jesus,” he breathes out.

  “He told me for a reason, Lucas. He wants me to give her disease to him. He’s willing to sacrifice himself to save her. He only confessed to me when I refused to do what he was asking.”

  I can see the shock tightening his face as he processes this new twist.

  “You should have seen his cold eyes when he told me,” I say, shaking my head. “Remorse was the furthest thing from his mind. There was absolutely none.”

  He places his hands on my shoulders. “Am I understanding this right? You wouldn’t give him a death sentence. So he confessed this to you so you’d believe he deserves one?”

  “Yes,” I reply, watching his reaction.

  He looks up at the sky. I can see he’s trying to make sense of all I’ve told him. Then he zeros in on me again and pulls me to him. “What do you want to do?”

  I hesitate before answering, worrying what he’ll think of me. “I told him I’d do it.”

  He pulls back to look at me. “You don’t have to. You could go to the police.”

  I nod at his suggestion. “I will go to the police, after I’ve cured Penelope.”

  “Are you sure? Can you live with that?” he asks.

  “Would it make me a terrible person if I said that I could?” I ask, fearing his response almost as much as I’m fearing myself right now and the fact that I think I can live with this decision if it means saving Penelope.

  “If I were you,” he says, “I’d do it in a heartbeat.” His tone is one of absolute certainty.

  His confident answer surprises me even as it lifts some of the heaviness inside me. But I’ll be crossing a line by doing this. I can’t help but wonder if my grandmother was always so evil and selfish or if she crossed a similar line at some point. Did that turning point make the next time easier and the time after that until she completely lost her way?

  “When does he want to do it?” Lucas asks.

  “Tomorrow.”

  He begins to usher me toward his truck. “I’m going to be there with you.”

  “No!” I stop and turn toward him. “I don’t want you near Alec. He’s obviously dangerous.”

  Lucas’s hands go right to his hips. “Are you fucking serious? You just made the perfect argument for my being there.”

  I open my mouth to protest again.

  His eyes close as he fights for patience. “Please get in the truck, Ray. I’m going to be with you when this goes down, and I’m not arguing with you about it.”

  I lose steam when I see his resolute expression. Then I seal my lips together and let him help me inside. I really don’t want him there. I’ve never done this before, and I’m afraid something unexpected could happen, like the disease not going where I tell it to. I’d rather no one but Alec and me be within one hundred miles of Penelope when I try this.

  “Kyle and Chloe don’t know what Alec did,” I warn him on the drive back. “Please don’t say anything.”

  The muscle in his cheek tightens. “You really believe that?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Kyle should know what his father did to his mother. What he’s doing to you.” His hands tighten on the wheel.

  “He has enough to worry about.”

  “And you don’t?” He shoots back at me.

  “Please, Lucas.” I sink tiredly into the seat.

  “Fine,” he bites out. “But I think you’re wrong.”

  Kyle and Chloe are surprised to see me arrive home with Lucas. “He’s staying for a while,” I tell them. “You don’t have to edit yourselves. He knows everything.”

  Kyle appears stricken when he looks at me. “My father just called. I’m sorry he was the one who spoke to you about this, Raielle. I wanted to talk to you myself. I wanted to make sure you’re really okay with this and let you know you have a choice here.”

  Lucas grunts his disbelief from beside me. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” he says, starting to lead me away.

  “What happened to you?” Chloe asks, speaking for the first time.

  The muscle in Lucas’s jaw ticks.

  “I fell,” I explain quickly, before Lucas can say anything.

  “Right after she talked to your father,” Lucas adds.

  Kyle’s expression sinks even further. “Raielle, no one wants him to have to do this. I wanted it to be me when he told me how this works. But I also want to see my daughter grow up too badly to fight him on this. I can’t tell you how grateful we are that you’re agreeing to do it.”

  “Why didn’t you tell us?” Chloe asks, but it’s more like an accusation. “You didn’t say anything about this possibility.”

  Lucas pulls me closer to him. In this moment, her feelings are completely transparent. She’s afraid of me and of what I can do. She’s always known about it, just like Kyle, and it scares her. If she had a choice, she’d have nothing to do with me. I don’t even bother answering her.

  “Come on.” Lucas turns me away from them and leads me toward the bathroom.

  I stand there like a statue while he runs my hands under warm water and gently soaps the dirt from my skin. I could do this myself, but I don’t stop him. We eye each other in the mirror while he takes care of me.

  “The marks on your neck are gone,” he points out.

  My eyes travel down to the area where the
bruises once were. That only reminds me of how my grandmother’s healing powers went so wrong with Lucas’s mother. “You shouldn’t come tomorrow,” I tell him, watching his reflection.

  He pauses for a moment. Then he turns off the water and hands me a towel.

  “Lucas.”

  “What?” he asks on a tired sigh. Then he turns from the mirror to look me in the eye. “If the situation were reversed, would you stay away if I asked you to?”

  I glance down at my now clean hands. “Probably not.”

  He places his fingers under my chin and lifts my face to his. “Then how can you honestly think I would let you do this alone?” His eyes search mine. “What am I to you, Ray?”

  I blink in confusion at his question.

  “Am I just a casual fling?” he asks.

  I pull my chin away and stare at him defiantly. Why would he ask me this now? He knows better. “No,” I reply.

  “We’re more than that, aren’t we?”

  “Yes,” I whisper, hating that after all we’ve been through, this simple truth is still so hard for me to admit.

  “Good,” he nods. “So quit acting like you’re in this alone. I know you’ve always only had yourself to rely on, but that’s not the case anymore. Stop pushing me away. One of these days, I might actually think you mean it.”

  I back away from him. “I’m trying to protect you, you idiot.”

  He puts his hands on his hips. “Well cut that shit out. It just pisses me off.”

  We stare at each other for a moment, the fact that we’ve just admitted our feelings run deeper than the typical high school romance dances in both our eyes, but it’s overshadowed by the turmoil that surrounds us.

  Lucas relents first, gradually leaning toward me and kissing the side of my head.

  I still wish he wasn’t going to be here for his own protection, but I’m also grateful I’ll have him with me.