Hanging With A Time Surfer

by Celine Chatillon

  "Not exactly, but his crew is equally suspect."

  "But we could have forced Barris to land this ship on a planet somewhere and disabled it until the cops arrived. Quentin and Cat could have slipped away using his time device before the S.W.A.T. team—or whatever you guys use to bring down the bad guys—showed up."

  "Yes, that would have been purrfect.” Catriona hissed. “You want to make big points with the top dogs of the TRA by capturing Quentin and myself as well, don't you?"

  Ivak didn't respond right away. “That's not true,” he said slowly. “You three are not worth the reward. All I care about is bringing in Barris and his crew."

  "But you've jury-rigged my key chain into the navigational systems,” Quentin crossed his arms and scowled, “effectively making it impossible for anyone to use in the manner it was intended, haven't you?"

  "Yes, I have. Sorry.” The invisible man seemed contrite.

  Shelby didn't buy into it. She stomped her foot and screamed, “Ivak! How could you? We'll all be turned over to the Time Regulation authorities now."

  "It's my job. It's what I'm supposed to do."

  "We trusted you, Ivak,” Catriona said. “What kind of mad man are you?"

  "He's a Time Agent. Madness is part of the job description.” Quentin sighed. “'The mission is always more important than any individual's safety.’ The fucked up motto of the TRA."

  "Exactly.” Ivak sighed. “I apologize to the ladies for risking their time lines. As a former Time Agent, Quentin realizes how important it is to fulfill our appointed tasks. The whole of time and reality as we know it may very well depend on it."

  Quentin nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I took the oath, too. I understand where you're coming from, Ivak. Just promise me one thing."

  "What's that?"

  "That once this thing is all over and you've turned me over to your colleagues that you'll return Shelby and Catriona to their respective time lines?"

  Shelby gasped. It sounded so final. It sounded as if he didn't expect to survive his ordeal with the time cops.

  "You realize I'll be obligated to wipe their minds of all their recent experiences.” Ivak's voice was dead calm. “They won't be able to recall any of their time traveling escapades in this time stream."

  "Fine. It's better they're safe and slightly confused as to what happened to them than to suffer the consequences."

  Consequences? What kind of consequences? Shelby wondered but didn't express her fears aloud. Suddenly she felt ashamed for saying she hated Quentin. He'd been trying to protect her from the moment he met her. She had been acting like a selfish, mean-spirited bitch.

  "Quentin, I ... I want to apologize,” she began then burst into tears. He pulled her into his arms and hushed her with kisses.

  "It's okay. I know you don't hate me—well, not entirely. You wouldn't make it with aliens in front of me if you hated me that much."

  Catriona purred and flashed a toothy grin. Even Ivak guffawed. Shelby kicked her lover in the shins and turned away.

  "Ow!” He hopped in place. “That hurt."

  "It was supposed to. You ruined a perfectly good romantic moment."

  "Blame it on nerves. I'll admit I deserve a kicking, but I have a huge bruise on my leg from landing on that dude."

  "Speaking of which,” Ivak's voice trailed over to a communications screen, “let's see if he or anyone else is awake on this party ship and notices that they've changed course."

  The screen lit up at the invisible man's command, its text read-out showing everything on board proceeding normally. No alerts to a course change, not even a mention of them running loose on the ship.

  "Odd.” Ivak sounded puzzled. “Everything is business as usual. Something isn't quite right here."

  "They could have taken their warning systems off line. Switch on a bridge camera,” Quentin suggested.

  "All right, switching now.” They all hovered around the comm screen being careful not to bump into Ivak. The bridge appeared empty.

  "This can't be right. Let me check to see if they're blocking the actual signal just to lead us to jump to conclusions.” Buttons clicked and depressed under Ivak's invisible fingers, but still the image remained the same.

  "Maybe the ship is running on automatic pilot?” Shelby suggested. “They do have the technology to fly a spaceship without a crew in this century, right?"

  Catriona's fur stood on end. “Yes, but there is always somebody located on the bridge at all times in case the auto-pilot system fails unless..."

  "Don't say it,” Quentin warned.

  Shelby frowned. This wasn't something she wanted to hear, but she knew she needed to know. “Say what? Tell me, Cat"

  "Unless the crew has abandoned ship."

  Ivak cleared his throat. “We have no evidence of that. The life pods would have all been jettisoned. There would have been an alarm sounded."

  "How do we know there wasn't an alarm sounded after we locked ourselves into the engine control room?” Quentin pushed the invisible agent aside from the console to access the emergency alarm system log. “As I thought—a silent alarm was given about three minutes ago for all hands to abandon ship. All the life pods have been launched, too. Damn cowards."

  Shelby smiled. “That's good, isn't it? No more big baddy Barris onboard to torture us and none of his evil henchmen to do his bidding. All we have to do now is land this thing, retrieve your time device from the computer where Ivak's hooked it up, and we can get the heck out of here."

  "It's not that simple,” Ivak said with resignation. “I didn't have a huge toolkit with me, and I was sort of making this up as we go along."

  "What's that suppose to mean?” Catriona asked.

  "He's saying that after he cannibalized my key chain to locate the time gate he locked the coordinates permanently into the navigational system. There's no way to change course either, is there?"

  Ivak grunted no. Quentin sighed.

  "And it's going to take some highly skilled time cop techies to retrieve my time device and put it back together again, right?"

  "Sorry about that.” Ivak sounded depressed. “Besides, all the Time Agency really wants is to have a word or two with you Quentin anyway. It's not a big deal as far as I know."

  "But we can't go back to Quentin's time.” Scalding tears trickled down Shelby's cheeks. “He told me he has a death sentence on his head for something he didn't do."

  "You actually got the death sentence for a class B misdemeanor?” Ivak whistled. “Wow. You must have really ticked off the old man upstairs. He rarely hands out death sentences for trivial time meddling."

  "What can I say? I'm special.” Quentin grinned and threw his right arm around Shelby and his left around Catriona. “Well, since we're flying on automatic pilot and we've got the course plotted for the time gate, we might as well enjoy ourselves for the next few hours until we reach our destination. Anyone up for a little bit of fun on the orgy deck with me?"

  "How can you say such a thing?” Shelby sobbed. “This ship is taking you to your execution."

  Tears glistened on Catriona's furry cheeks. “Yes, this is a ship full of death. I doubt I'll think about it the same way ever again."

  "All right.” He squeezed both females tightly and then let them go. “How about you, Invisible Man? You up for some fun in the hot tub with the condemned? We could give each other backrubs and then some blow..."

  "No thanks,” Ivak interrupted him. “My tastes run toward the ladies like Shelby here. And if we make a stop in the sick bay, a shot of antihistamine for cat fur will help me get to know Catriona better."

  "What if I don't want to get to know you better, Invisible Traitor?” Catriona held her nose high in the air.

  "You might. I think I know of a way to get Quentin off the hook with the big boss back at headquarters."

  "Why, Ivak, I could kiss you!” Quentin threw up his hands, attempting to snare the invisible agent in a bear hug, but the wily time cop effectively evaded his grasp.
“You turned out to be a nice guy after all, Agent Manstun. What's this plan of yours?"

  "Please Ivak, tell us how we can help Quentin,” Shelby pleaded.

  "I'll tell you all after we get in the hot tub. I think much better when I'm relaxed.” The control room door whooshed open. “After you ladies."

  Quentin waggled an eyebrow as he followed the girls out the door. “That good of a plan, eh, Mr. Time Agent?"

  "Yes, it is.” Ivak chuckled softly. “It may very well change the girls’ minds about what all they want to do in the hot tub, too."

  Chapter Fourteen

  The forest of towering marble columns gracing the stately main conference hall of the Time Regulation Agency stood as cold and silent as the occupants who inhabited them. A text message from Time Agent Ivak Manstun three hours ago, real time, stated that the traitor Barris and his spaceship were heading toward the time gate and would reach headquarters within ten minutes. The executive Time Regulators and their numerous assistants gathered around the kilometer long conference table eager to view the first evidence that the destroyer of Atlantis—among other civilizations—had been trapped and brought home at last. At last the fiend would receive his deserved punishment. At last temporal justice would be served.

  So it came as no surprise that the bureaucrats’ frozen jaws gaped open and their gray, lifeless eyes bulged as they took in the arresting image upon their ten-story high visual display screen mounted at the end of the great hall. Two very wet, very naked humans, an unclothed Felinian and what could only be assumed was Agent Manstun were entwined in a sexual pose that defied both gravity and logic. The assembly of distinguished public servants buzzed with shock, awe, and more than just a smattering of pea-green envy.

  "Ahem, Agent Manstun?” Chryton, second-in-command and the current Chief Time Regulator for Near Ancient History from the Enlightenment up to Man's Landing on Mars, stood up and politely addressed the cavorting mass of limbs and torsos. “Are you located somewhere in that pile up of flesh and ... bodily secretions?"

  "Hmm? Yes, I'm here. Just a moment please, Regulator."

  "Are we on camera?” Shelby said breathlessly as Ivak rammed his rod into her ass and Quentin filled her cunt with his cock from underneath while he balanced Catriona's clit on his face.

  "However did we get on camera?” Catriona panted. Her twitching tail alternatively tickled Shelby's pointy nipples and what appeared to be Ivak's cheeks.

  "I forgot. I have a homing device in my invisible backpack. The Agency started tracking my signals the moment we crossed the time gate and accessed the ship's internal communications system. Sorry."

  "No need to apologize.” Shelby grinned. “Just fuck me harder you two, then you can take care of your other business."

  "Yes ma'am!"

  "Agent Manstun,” Chryton interrupted, “can you please disengage yourself from that woman and give us your report?"

  Catriona began to purr loudly as her orgasm overwhelmed her. Her calico tail thrashed wildly about as she tossed her head back and howled a piercing, bliss-filled scream. The surprised Time Regulators threw their hands over their ears or other aural appendages but never once took their eyes away from the screen.

  "Oh, Quentin! Your tongue is every bit as talented as a cat's. That was purrr-fect!” She slid from his face and into the hot tub beside them.

  "Thanks for the compliment, Cat.” Quentin shifted his hips to deepen his cock thrusts. “And thanks for shaving first."

  "Harder, harder.” Shelby bounced her hips against the strokes. “Are there many people watching us, Ivak?"

  "Only about a thousand or so."

  "A thousand? Oh, merciful heavens!"

  "Yes. I apologize. Do want me to stop?"

  "Are you kidding?” Quentin gave a throaty chuckle. “Shelby's discovered that she really enjoys playing to an audience."

  Chryton cleared his throat, his translucent gray cheeks burning red with indignation and embarrassment over not being able to control his officer. “Agent Manstun, cease and desist that activity forthwith and come closer to the monitor to discuss this..."

  "Come? Oh, yes, yes! A thousand pairs of eyes all looking at me while I come and ... I ... Ooo-ahh!"

  Shelby's earsplitting squeal sent tantalizing shivers down the spine, or spinal-type organ, of every sentient being in the great conference hall. Somehow the Regulator in charge of communications had gained remote access to the zoom feature of the ship's camera in the hot tub area and zeroed the image in on her flushed cheeks and pouting red lips as orgasm after orgasm washed over her.

  "Manstun!"

  "Coming, sir!"

  And he did. An arc of semen instantly materialized from his invisible cock and splashed against Shelby's bouncing ass cheeks. Quentin followed suit with a lusty cry and several hard thrusts. Several moments of heartfelt moans and sighs followed—not all of which came from the vicinity of the display screen speakers.

  "All right the entertainment for the meeting is over. Everyone take your seats. Agents Halley and Kohoutek—put your clothes back on this instance!” Chryton barked.

  "Chief Regulator, Ivak Manstun reporting for duty,” came a husky, relaxed baritone from the speaker. The image on the screen was still one of Quentin and Shelby cuddling on the deck of the hot tub with Catriona lolling nearby.

  Chryton shook his head and groaned. “Can we somehow change the focus of the shot on the screen?” The shot zoomed out and came to focus a little to the left of the party in the hot tub, showing silk robes piled on the edge of a chaise lounge. “Very good. Now then, Agent Manstun, what have you to report in regards to the status of temporal enemy number one?"

  "Whoa. You mean Barris is number one now?” Quentin groggily pulled himself up to his elbows. “What in the universe did he do to garner such a high ranking on the naughty renegade time surfers list?"

  "Since we discovered that it was he who single-handedly is to blame for the death of disco, the loss of Atlantis, and the entire collapse of the Grangorian Empire's time stream. Grangoria is no more."

  Quentin sat up taller. “What the hell is ‘Grangoria'? Never heard of it."

  "Is it any wonder? Barris eliminated them without hesitation for his own selfish, personal gain and furthermore he...” Chryton paused and frowned. “Why am I telling you something like this? Who are you?"

  "He's one of your former Time Agents, Chief,” Ivak replied matter-of-factly, “Quentin Takahashi. You remember him, don't you? Chronos sentenced him to death."

  "To death? For doing what exactly? Is he a part of Barris's gang?"

  A small gray-haired, gray-eyed, gray-dressed man approached Chryton and handed him a small e-pad with information concerning Quentin's fall out with the Agency. “Oh, yes. I see here Mr. Takahashi appropriated his Agency supplied time device. Then he went walkabouts after he and the agency had a little disagreement over whether he should have intervened in saving a young male infant in Judea several millennia ago. But that was a misdemeanor offense. His pay was docked for a month, and he was demoted a rank. There's no death sentence mentioned here."

  "Hurray!” Shelby cried. Sitting up she self-consciously made a grab for her robe and quickly wrapped it around her shoulders, much to the chagrin of the assembled time bureaucrats. “Quentin, you're not a wanted man after all."

  "I ... I don't believe it. Are you sure that's all it says, Chief Chryton?"

  The regulator pushed the page up button on the e-pad and bit his lip. “Hmm, says here that's it. But wait an infinitesimally small time period here ... There is an addition at the bottom of the file.” He cleared his throat and read, “'Chronos, Chief Administrator of the Time Regulation Agency, sentences Quentin Takahashi to death for parking in his space not once, but on three consecutive occasions.’”

  He frowned and scratched his head. “That explains it then. Takahashi, when the ship lands you are to report for execution in the time line disintegration chamber at 0700 hours."

  "No!” All color drain
ed from Shelby's face. “This can't be happening."

  "What?” Catriona pounced out of the tub onto the deck and placed a furry arm around her pale and shaking friend. “You can't sentence a man to death for a stupid parking violation. It's insane."

  "You can if you're Chronos.” Quentin shook his head and slowly slipped into his robe. “It doesn't make any sense. I swear I thought he'd sentenced me to death for saving that little boy from almost certain death at the hands of that maniacal, bloodthirsty King Herod. You mean that wasn't such a serious offense after all?"

  "Apparently not.” Ivak's puzzled tone reverberated throughout the bath area as if he were pacing methodically. “But pissing off the big, big boss on a personal matter is. Let me check something here.” He paused and cleared his throat. “Chief Chryton, what sort of vehicle did Quentin supposedly park in Chronos's parking space?"

  Chryton thumbed the next button several times then backed up to the beginning of the document. “Ah, here it is. It was a black heli-chopper with a silver side car and twin surface-to-air missiles."

  "Quentin, do you happen to own such a kick-ass vehicle?” Ivak asked.

  "On my salary as a lowly Time Agent Second Class? You've got to be kidding. It would take someone with ten times—no a hundred times my salary to afford that sort of personal vehicle."

  "Someone who had a sideline in selling misappropriated artifacts like Barris Falst perhaps?"

  "Ivak, my man! You are a genius!” Quentin laughed. “I'd give you a smack on the butt if I could find out where you're standing."

  The invisible man chuckled. “That's why I keep moving."

  "And I can testify to the fact that I've seen Barris flying a vehicle similar to what you've described,” Catriona said. “Barris flew it last month to an orgy located on the other side of the planet from his party ship."

  "Can you verify this statement?” Chryton queried.

  "I was there. His photo was taken and appeared in a planet-wide swingers publication. That's evidence enough, isn't it?"

  "Hmm, things are looking up for you, Takahashi. We'll have to check out the Felinian's statement, but that doesn't mean there isn't more than one of these vehicles in existence."