Dangerous Confessions of the Heart (Dangerous Secrets of the Heart)
Page 2
Chapter 2
I kissed back but swiftly but reluctantly pulled away. “I’m sorry. I can’t do that…we can’t do that…I’m sorry. I have to go.” I said and opened my door.
I ran in and shut it. I felt bad for shutting the door in his face but I didn’t feel comfortable kissing anyone right now. I didn’t want to kiss him. I only wanted to kiss Jesse. I missed him so much. But he is with Sarah now. They are happy. They are in love. Why couldn’t I be in love again? What’s stopping me from kissing a really good looking guy? I took a deep breath, opened the back door again and looked out. Austin was walking back towards the direction we came.
“Austin!” I shouted and ran off the deck.
He turned around as I was running towards him. When I reached his arms I flung myself on him. He fell to the ground and I placed my lips upon his. He clutched the back of my head and held me as we intensely kissed. I finally pulled away from him.
“What was that all about?” He asked in disbelief with a chuckle.
“I’m sorry…was that not okay? I’m sorry. Now I feel stupid.” I admitted stumbling through my words again.
“No, Ami, it was delightful. I just thought that you didn’t want to kiss.” He said.
“I didn’t… at first.” I admitted.
“And now?” he questioned.
“Well, I’m here aren’t I?” I said with a giggle.
He grabbed me again and kissed me. Finally after a few minutes of kissing I slipped out from his arms and stood back up. He got up too. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked.
“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said and gave him one last peck.
I turned around and walked back toward my house. I could hear my heart throbbing in my chest. I haven’t felt like this since I first met Jesse. I walked toward the house and turned around toward Austin. I waved to him and he waved back. He turned around and began walking back down the beach not looking back. It was dark and I couldn’t see anything. I placed my hand on the door to the house and felt someone snatch me. The person placed a hand on my mouth so I wouldn’t yell and placed a sharp knife at my throat.
“Open the door” A male voice order.
I franticly opened the door. The man behind me pushed me inside but kept me close to him. I heard the door shut behind me as he detached his hand from my mouth. The knife was still pressed against my throat. I could hear Cody breathing and rubbing up against us. Why wasn’t he protecting me?
“You can remove the knife, I’ll cooperate.” I admitted fearfully and hopelessly.
“I know you will.” The intruder said in a more sincere tone. I recognized the voice but couldn’t tell who it was.
The knife was lowered and I was ordered to sit down.
I sat down in the dining room chair.
A light came on to expose my intruder.
“JESSE!” I said in excitement.
He laughed. “Guess again sweet cheeks.”
“James. What the hell are you doing here?” I asked as I felt my heart break. He sat in the chair near me.
He snickered “I came to pay you your $1000. I will be here every month around the fifth of the month.”
“Okay cool.” I said.
He extended the $1000 out for me to take from his hand. I reached for it. He pulled it back.
“So, you look like you’re enjoying yourself. I didn’t realize you would move on so quickly.” He said.
“That’s none of your business.” I said.
“Oh really, Perhaps I should just take this money back and leave then.” He said.
“No, I need that money James.” I begged.
“Are you going to tell me about him?” He asked.
I took a deep breath and realized it was hopeless to debate with him. “He’s a local. His name is Austin. We spent some time together today. I just met him earlier.” I admitted.
“And you kissed him? You just met him.” He annoyingly pointed out. “You’re a whore just like your mother.”
“The kiss was a mistake. I was thinking about Jesse the entire time.” I lied. “And don’t talk about my mother like that!”
“Ahh, Yeah Jesse...” He said overlooking my other comment.
“How is he by the way?” I asked in concern.
“Oh, don’t worry about him. Sarah is keeping him completely occupied.” He lied.
I hung my head.
“Remember, you’re supposed to tell us everything. Bill wouldn’t accept another boyfriend this quick. You need to break it off with him. Do not see him again.” He warned.
“Okay James…I’m sorry…” I said lying again. I wanted to tell him what he wanted to know so he would leave. I really liked Austin and I wasn’t about to kiss him and not see him again.
“Here.” James said placing the money on the table. “I’ll see you soon. But I have to get back. It’s a 10 hours flight to get back home. It’s gonna be a rough night.” He said to me.
He got up from the table. “Don’t forget Jamie. We’ll be watching.” He warned again.
He walked towards the door.
Behind a bush was a shadow of a person. The person observed as James and I exited the house on the deck. James pulled me in for a hug and walked away. I stood puzzled as I watched him leave. It hurt when I seen him because he looked just like Jesse. I wanted Jesse back so bad. I hung my head and walked back into the house. I locked the door and headed down the hall to take a shower. The person watched as I disappeared into the house and walked away unnoticed.
I went down the hall with Cody at my feet. I guess he thought James was Jesse and that is why he didn’t attack him to save me. Although, James wouldn’t have hurt me unless I did something to make him angry or Bill told him to. Not that I would care if he finished what he started. He already took everything away from me; why not take my life too? I reached the bathroom and turned on the light. The wind whipped around outside. A rainstorm was coming. I removed my clothes and pitched them into the hamper. Cody lay on the floor of the bathroom in front of the door like he did every night. I climbed in the shower and turned on the water. The warm water rushed down my body and beat on my head. It felt so amazing in the shower. I had to wash all the sand off my body from the beach today. I had sand in places that I didn’t think I would.
After I finished my shower I turned it off. I grabbed a towel and wiped my face. I took a glance over toward the window and seen a shadow stoop down. Someone was watching me. Cody didn’t seem alarmed. I swiftly walked to my bedroom and left the light off to see if I could see the person outside again. Nothing…I swiftly threw some sweat pants on and a t-shirt and sat on my bed. I heard a knock at the front door. I inhaled deep. My heart pounded in my chest. Cody ran to the door and was wagging his tail wanting me to open it. I opened a little table’s drawer and pulled out my gun. I positioned it behind my back as I heard another knock. Not like it was going to do me any good, Jesse never did get around to teaching me how to shoot it. I placed my hand on the door knob and unlocked it. I counted to three in my head and opened the door swiftly. The familiar face stared at me.
“Austin!” I said in relief.
“Hey…I just came back too…umm. You seem busy. I’m gonna go.” He said and turned back around.
“No…please come in.” I urged.
“Okay.” He said. I opened the door farther as he walked inside. He patted Cody on the head.
“Nice place you got here.” He said.
“Thank you.” I said.
I went over to the table beside the door and placed the gun back in the drawer.
“What was that for?” Austin inquired.
“Well…I live alone so I use it for security.” I admitted.
“Oh ok.” Austin said.
I moved towards the couch and offered him a seat.
“I’m so glad to see you… I actually needed to talk to you.” I admitted.
“Is this about that guy?” He asked directly.
“Guy?” I questioned.
“Yeah, I saw a guy leaving here…” He admitted.
“Oh, that guy…no, it’s not about him.” I lied. “I can’t continue what we started earlier tonight.” I admitted.
“Do you love him?” He straightforwardly asked.
“No…not him.” I admitted.
“Then what is it?” He asked.
“I’m in love with his identical twin brother.” I admitted to him.
“So, you’re messing with both of them?” He asked.
“No, it’s nothing like that with him. I actually can’t stand him.” I said.
“So, where is this brother of his?” He asked.
“Back in Niagara Falls….with his fiancée…” I said.
“Then why can’t you move on?” He asked.
“Because I’m not ready to move on…I miss him dearly…” I confessed “and when I am ready…you’ll be the first to know.” I said hoping he would understand. “I like you Austin but I’m not ready to be with anyone again…” I confessed. “Look, I’m a complicated girl. There is a lot of stuff you don’t know about me…and I’m not sure that I’m ready to tell you…”
“Take all the time you need Ami. I’m here for you.” He announced considerately.
“Thank you for understanding Austin.” I said. He pulled me toward him and hugged me. He smelt amazing as I rested my head upon his chest. He affectionately caressed my wet hair.
“Let’s hang out tomorrow. It’s Monday, so it will have to be after class but can I see you tomorrow?” He asked.
“Yeah, that sounds like fun…there is nothing wrong with friends hanging out.” I said with a smile.
“Okay. So, I’ll see you around 2pm tomorrow. Wear your bathing suit because you might get wet.” He said with a smile.
“Okay.” I said as we stood up. “Where can I find a bathing suit around here? I don’t really know where to look.” I admitted.
“Oh, you don’t have a suit yet…well that’s okay, I’ll take you shopping tomorrow before we hang out. I’ll pick you up here at 2pm.” He said.
“Sounds great… Thanks.” I said. We walked to the door.
Austin leaned down towards my face. I turned my head.
“I wasn’t trying to kiss your lips again…” He lied. “I was trying to do this.” He placed his hand on my chin and moved my head aside. He placed his luscious lips on my cheek and kissed it. He pulled away.
“I’ll see you tomorrow Ami.” He said.
“…tomorrow.” I said as he turned around and walked off my front porch.
I shut the front door and leaned against it. He was so understanding and so sexy. I wanted a kiss from him so bad but James might be right. It was kind of reckless to get involved with someone else. It’s only been two weeks since I was last with Jesse. But the electricity was happening with Austin just like it happened with Jesse. I had to confess it to myself… I was falling in love with Austin. I hastily checked all the doors to make sure they were locked. I turned off the light.
I walked out of the living room and back to the hall. Cody was at my feet as I walked. I reached the bathroom and turned out that light. The wind whipped again outside making a whistling sound. It was black in the house as Cody guided me to my bedroom. I turned on my light and undressed from the sweatpants I was wearing and slipped into a silky tan and black nightgown. I slipped on a black thong underneath. I turned off the light and walked over to the bed. I climbed into it and Cody jumped on the bed with me. He tucked himself into the covers and I placed my arm around him. Yes, I was spooning a dog but he was my only friend, besides Austin, and I wasn’t about to invite him in here after basically breaking up with him in the living room. I pulled Cody close to me and felt his breathing. His fur felt warm against me. I snuggled my face in his back and kissed it. I began to drift off to sleep. I began to dream. I seen my feet dressed in sliver heels and I traveled up my body and revealed a beautiful white and silver wedding dress. I was wearing pearls and carrying a bouquet of flowers with beautiful Hawaiian flowers. My auburn hair was put up in a fancy bun and strings of hair were coming down in curls around my face. I saw familiar faces on the pews of the church as I walked towards the altar. The pews were dressed in Hawaiian colors and a cool breeze was filling the air. I looked up at the altar and seen a beautiful sunset right over the ocean as I walked towards my groom. I could see my groom’s tux but never his face as I walked towards him. I finally reached the altar and looked up. My groom’s face was blank. I couldn’t tell who it was. I reached up to him and place my hand on what should have been his check. The darkness came out and revealed a face but it wasn’t the face I wanted to see. It was Bill’s. I screamed and woke up. The room was barely lite with the sunrise. Cody was still asleep beside me. I looked over to my night stand and grabbed a hair bow. I rapidly pulled my hair into a ponytail and brushed my bangs out of my eyes. Why did I dream I was marrying Bill? Gross. I didn’t understand what this dream was about but I would never, ever, ever marry Bill!
Chapter 3
I was already awake so I decided to go watch the rest of the sunrise from my deck. I brewed a cup of coffee, slipped a robe on over my nightgown and opened my back door. The cool breeze and mist rushed by me as I walked out. The water looked orange and yellow as the sun rose upon it. I watched the dolphins jump out of the water and quickly disappear back in. The birds were singing. This place felt enchanting. The sun finally came completely up into the sky as I finished my last swig of coffee. I opened the screen door and let Cody out for some fresh air. He ran out toward the water and tried to catch a wave as it crashed on the sand. I got up and walked out towards the water. I began to go into a daydream. I stared at the waves as they rushed to the shore. I began to think about Jesse. This would have been a nice place for us to run away to. This would have been a great place for our beautiful baby to play in the sand and in the water; with Cody running beside him or her splashing while Jesse and I stood staring at the sea; him behind me holding me tight, softly kissing at my neck…
“Hey Ami!” a familiar voice called out to me breaking my up my thoughts. I turned around to look.
Austin was running toward me.
“Austin?” I said as he came up to me. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have school?” I asked.
“I do. I wanted to see you again. School doesn’t start for another thirty minutes or so.” He said.
“Okay cool.” I said. Cody came and greeted him and went back to what he was doing.
“You know you didn’t have to come see me this morning…I would’ve seen you later.” I said with a chuckle.
“I know, but I wanted to give you this.” He said as he pulled out his bag a green leaf lei. He placed it around my neck and pulled me close kissing my cheek.
“This is a Green Maile Ti Leaf Lei.” He said. “It symbolizes admiration, appreciation and respect.”
“This symbolizes all of that?” I rhetorically said with a laugh.
He laughed and smiled back at me in silence.
“Thank you… I love it.” I said. I grabbed him and pulled him in for a hug. He held me securely and as he pulled away he smoothly placed his lips upon my cheek and kissed me.
“I’m glad you like it. I have to go now. It’s almost time for school to start.” He said with a chuckle. He pulled me towards him again. I stared intensely into his ocean blue eyes. He licked his lips and pulled me closer. I closed my eyes as our lips touched. I began to gradually move my lips against his. As we kissed I placed my arms around his neck and pulled him deeper into the kiss. He placed his hands on my back and held me close. He slipped his tongue in my mouth and I began to move mine around his. He hurriedly pulled away after a few seconds.
“I’m… I’m sorry…” He admitted.
All I could do was smile at him. He threw his bag on his shoulder and began to walk away.
“See you at 2” He said beginning to pick up his pace towards the front of the house.
“Bye.” I called out.
After we finished eating I went into the family room, removed my robe and began watching television. Cody cuddled up next to me. I got uninterested and fell asleep on him. I was awoken by a knock on my front door. I looked up at the clock on my wall. It was already 2:10. I began to panic. I wasn’t even out of my night clothes yet. I opened the door. Austin stood in astonishment as I apologized for falling asleep. I explained that I didn’t sleep well last night.
“It’s fine Ami. Take your time.” He said.
I ran to the bedroom and removed my nightgown. I heard Austin clearing his throat from behind me. I turned around and recognized he was standing in the doorway gazing at me. I was standing in the room with nothing but a thong on. I swiftly grabbed a cover and threw it around my body.
“I didn’t realize you were standing there…sorry about that.” I said.
“It’s not a problem.” He said with a chuckle.
My cheeks turned red as I began to blush.
“I’ll give you some privacy. Sorry I intruded. I was just coming to make sure you were okay.” He said.
“Thank you and yes I’m fine. Be out in a minute.” I said gratefully.
He grabbed the door handle and pulled it shut. I stood in my room thinking about him staring at my body. I had to be absolutely honest with myself; my body desired him, I craved him. I bit at my lip. I couldn’t stop my head from spinning. Why was my heart doing this to me again? I can’t fall in love this quick; it’s only going to lead to hurt. But Austin seems so sweet and compassionate. I broke my thought when I noticed the time. I had wasted five minutes. It was now 2:15. I grabbed a pair of jean shorts and a hot pink t-shirt. I dressed and slipped my sandals on. I was ready to go. I opened my bedroom door and was greeted by Austin’s kind and cheerful face.