Dangerous Confessions of the Heart (Dangerous Secrets of the Heart)

by Johnson, Michele

  Austin pulled the chair out for me to sit. I sat down as the food arrived. It was the most delicious seafood dish I have ever had. It was nothing like I’ve ever tasted back home. Hawaii was defiantly growing on me. I loved it here.

  Meanwhile

  Back in Niagara Falls

  Jesse was in my room plotting his next move on how to get my whereabouts out of James. He sat on my bed as he heard Sarah and James begin to laugh from downstairs. He exited the room and walked down the stairs. He looked in the family room and seen Bill, Sarah, James and JJ sitting on the couch. They must have told Bill about their relationship because he was telling James that JJ looked just like him. Jesse walked into the room.

  “Jesse. Are you done wallowing?” Bill asked.

  He remained silent and didn’t give Bill the satisfaction of hearing his hurt.

  “So, have you congratulated your brother?” Bill finally asked.

  “Congratulations James and Sarah.” He said knowing exactly what Bill was talking about.

  “I’m sorry it didn’t work out with you and Sarah. But maybe you can find another girl one day.” Bill said with a laugh.

  Jesse rolled his eyes and left the room as Bill laughed harder.

  Back in Hawaii

  We had finished up our meals. Dickey had eaten his and Christy’s and the bills were paid. Melodie was the first to break the silence with more questions but tried kept my past out of it.

  “So, where is your father?” she asked.

  “I’m not sure. We stopped speaking about 5 years ago.” I told her.

  “Really…?” She asked realizing she needed to change the subject. “Patrick tells me you have a dog who loves Frisbees?” She said.

  “Yes. That he does. Speaking of him…I need to get home to feed him or he is going to eat the furniture.” I said with a laugh.

  “Oh no.” Melodie said back with a laugh.

  “Come on. I’ll take you home.” Austin said.

  “Okay. It was fun guys. We should do it again.” I said.

  “Defiantly will.” Judy said hugging me. Melodie followed and hugged me to, followed by Patrick, Jacob, and Dickey. Austin put his arm around me and led me out of the restaurant and back toward the red mustang. He opened the door and I climbed in.

  “Thank you Jesse.” I said.

  “Jesse?” Austin said. “Who’s Jesse?”

  An embarrassing shock went through me.

  “I’m so sorry Austin…that’s my ex’s name…” I admitted.

  He shut my car door and walked over to the driver’s side. He roared the car to life.

  “I really am sorry.” I said.

  “It’s okay Ami. Just take it one day at a time. You’ll soon forget about him.” He said trying to pep talk me and hiding his hurt feelings.

  I smiled at him but my insides were screaming. Why can’t I get him out of my head? I wish I could be done with him and except the fact that I need to move on. I was beginning to wish I had never met him. My life was spinning in a circle and I didn’t know what to do. Little did I know; everything that I thought was true was really a lie and Jesse desperately wanted to find me and have me back into his arms.

  We sat mostly in silence as he drove me home. When we reached my house I scooped up the bag with all my clothes as Austin killed the engine of the car. He climbed out of the car with a sigh and walked over to my side. He opened the door and helped me out. He laced his fingers with mine as we walked casually toward the door. I pulled out my keys and began to fettle with them. I wanted to kiss him but I didn’t know if he was mad at me.

  “Well…goodnight.” I said and placed the key into the door.

  He smoothly yet roughly pulled me back to him and placed his lips against mine. He pulled me deeply into him as we kissed. He pushed me back against the door as he continued to kiss me. I turned the key until I heard a click and the lock was open. I pushed the door open while I continued to kiss him. I pulled him into the house and he shut the front door. We continued to kiss until we landed on the couch. Cody was use to Jesse and I doing this so he didn’t pay any attention. He just let us be. Austin pulled me on to his lap and continued to kiss me. I gradually tugged at his buttons and undid them one by one. His shirt came opened to reveal his luscious chest. I kissed it up and down as he held me close to him. I desired this so bad. My body was throbbing for it. My heart craved the feeling again. He held me tight as I nibbled at his neck. He let out a small moan. He sounded so sexy when he did. I pulled at the straps of my dress and revealed my shoulders. He kissed at them and nibbled on them in return. I could feel the bulge in his pants as I pressed myself up against him. We both obviously wanted this. Until… my phone began to ring. I knew if I didn’t answer then I would be in trouble with Bill. I broke away from him and told him to be very quiet.

  “Hello.” I said trying to catch my breath.

  “Jamie” James said.

  “Hi James.” I said hoping he wouldn’t hear my voice breaking.

  “What are you doing?” He asked.

  “Noting, just working out.” I said as I winked at Austin.

  “Well I just called to check up. How are you?” He asked.

  “I’m fine James.” I said thinking to myself how much of a sex-blocker he was being right now.

  “That’s good. Well, I’ll let you get back to working out and remember, Jamie, We’re watching you.” He said and hung up the phone.

  I began to think about that. Maybe he has cameras in my house or maybe there is someone watching me. I needed to get Austin out of here. I couldn’t think about jeopardizing his safety.

  “I think you better go…” I reluctantly said.

  “Oh…okay.” He said with disappointment.

  “It’s not that I don’t want you here.” I admitted. “But you have school in the morning.” I tried to find a reason for him to leave. I really didn’t want him to. I wish he would take me to my bedroom and make sweet tender love to me right now. But he got up from the couch and walked over to me. He kissed me again and said goodnight. He disappeared behind my front door. I walked over and locked it. I went to the kitchen and poured Cody some dog food in his dish. He ate at it violently like he was starving as I went back into the living room and turned on the television. I began to watch some cartoon show about a fat man and an evil baby. It was really funny but I was so tired. I finished it until it went off and headed for the shower. I let the hot water run down my body as I began to surprisingly think about Austin. I really wanted him tonight. I wanted his luscious hard meat moving around inside me but I guess it was going to have to wait and if it was going to happen then it had to happen in the privacy of his house, not mine. Who knows who can be watching me?

  After my hot shower the room was steamed up. It was like a ship trying to sail on a foggy night. I could barely see in front of me but I managed to get out of the “fog” and into the hallway where I was greeted by Cody. He licked the water off my legs as I tried to head to my bedroom. I began to hear a whistling sound outside as the wind picked up. The rain began to fall beating on my window and lightning lit up the room followed by a clash of thunder. I listened to the rain as it fell. It was such a relaxing sound. I slipped a pair of pink thongs on and put my nightgown on that I threw off this morning. I climbed into bed and Cody followed. He climbed under the covers and snuggled up to me. I put my arm around him and went to sleep.

  Chapter 6

  It had been about three weeks since I first met Austin. He and I had spent almost every night together. Tomorrow was October 5th. James would be here. We never made love with each other but we got really close a lot. We spent most of our days hanging out at the beach but I still didn’t learn how to surf. We played volley ball, swam with some dolphins, went dancing in the moonlight on the beach, we had a romantic picnic on the beach, and he actually got me to play Frisbee with him. I had pretty much forgotten about Jesse. The flash back were becoming few and far between. I was even having good dreams again. Life was beg
inning to look up and I now had something to look forward to every day. Today is Thursday. I sat and patiently waited for Austin to get out of school and pick me up at 2. The time was 1:30pm. I walked outside and look at the ocean. I stared at its beauty. My heart felt whole again. Maybe now I will have a chance at a normal life.

  I walked over to the water and walked in the rushing wave as it crashed on the shore. It felt wonderful. I lost track of time. I felt two hands being placed on my shoulders. I felt a jolt of electricity as I turned to face what I thought was Austin. My heart sank when I was greeted with…no one. There were foot prints in the sand like someone was here. I followed them until they ended at the road. I didn’t know who it was. Austin finally pulled up to the house and climbed out of the car.

  “Hey baby.” He said walking over to me. “What are you doing out here?”

  “Just waiting on you…” I lied.

  “Okay.” He said. He pulled me to him and kissed me. “I have a surprise for you.”

  “Great. I wore my suit. Are we going to get wet?” I asked.

  “Maybe.” He said seductively. I knew what he meant and I began to giggle.

  “Not that kind of wet…” I said teasing him.

  “Let’s go.” He said.

  I ran back to the house and locked all the doors and returned to the car. He opened the door and let me into the mustang. He closed the door and went over to the driver’s side. He roared the engine to life. He drove us through town mostly in silence. I was thinking about who was it on the beach with me today. The hands felt like a man’s hands. Whose were they? Who would be touching me? Why didn’t they stick around for me to see them? There was so much that didn’t make since to me.

  Meanwhile

  Back in Niagara Falls

  James was packing his stuff and saying goodbye to Sarah and JJ. Jesse walked in on them.

  “Where are you headed?” He asked.

  “Don’t worry about it.” He said hatefully.

  “Are you going to see Jamie?” He asked.

  “No.” He lied.

  “Be safe on your trip to Florida.” Sarah said trying to lie for him. “Call me when you get there.”

  “I will baby. I love you both.” He said.

  Sarah and JJ hugged him.

  “Florida…” Jesse thought to himself as he walked away. Sarah knew her plan had worked. Jesse walked out the front door and climbed into his camo truck. He headed for the airport to go to Florida.

  I brushed off my thoughts about the mysterious person as I watched Austin pull the car on to a windy road up towards a mountain. We drove for another few minutes until we came to a halt. We climbed out of the car. I didn’t know where we were. I was looking at a bunch of trees surrounding us. Austin opened the door. He held out his hand for me to take. I took it and climbed out. He closed the door behind me.

  “Where are we?” I asked.

  “Trust me.” He said as he took my hand.

  I walked up a hill and looked out at a beautiful view. We were on the tip of a mountain. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve seen. I looked over as a woman came to us.

  “You must be Austin.” She said extending her hand to him. He shook it.

  “You’re Macy?” He asked.

  “I am. I have your activity ready.” She said. “I know you’re going to have a great time.”

  I looked over and seen a two person hand glider.

  “NO WAY!!” I said.

  “Yes way. Let’s go.” He said with a giggle. “I do it all the time. Just trust me.” He said taking my hand dragging me.

  We walked over to the hand glider and the instructor strapped us on.

  “Okay guys. When you’re ready…go for it.” She said.

  “Ready?” Austin asked me.

  I’ve never done anything like this. “No, not really…What do I do?” I asked.

  “Just run with me to the cliff, jump and put your feet up. I’ll do the rest.” Austin said.

  “Okay, on the count of 3.” I said scared half to death.

  “1” I said.

  “2” He said.

  “3” We said in unison as we began to run toward the cliff. I closed my eyes and jumped.

  “Don’t close your eyes.” He said.

  I opened them back up as we began to soar in the air. I looked down at all the trees and houses. They looked like ant homes.

  “How are you feeling?” Austin asked me.

  “It’s amazing up here.” I admitted.

  “I knew you would like it.” He said.

  I smiled. I couldn’t look at him. I was too scared to try and let go.

  We continued to soar in the sky. After a while he broke the silence.

  “We need to aim for that spot right there.” He said as we got closer to the ground.

  He steered the glider towards the spot. We inched closer to it.

  “Get ready. Put your feet up.” He said. We landed on the ground. Macy was on the ground near the place we landed. Austin’s mustang was there too.

  “Did you enjoy it Ami?” She asked.

  “Yes, it was amazing.” I admitted. “Thank you Austin.”

  She unhooked us and Austin placed his arms around me.

  “Thank you Macy.” He said.

  “You guys enjoy the rest of your day.” She said as we walked towards the car.

  Austin helped me into the car. My heart was still racing.

  “Did you really like it?” He asked.

  “It was fun…I’ve never done anything like that.” I admitted.

  “Great. I’m glad you had fun.” He said.

  He began to drive us on the road, things begun to look familiar. We were back into town. Austin took me to another restaurant tonight. During dinner I decided to break the news about James coming tomorrow.

  “I’m not going to be able to see you tomorrow.” I admitted as I took a bite of my dinner.

  “Why not?” Austin asked.

  “James will be here.” I confessed.

  “Why is he coming?” He asked disgusted.

  “He has to give me my monthly money.” I said.

  “Why does he pay you money?” He asked.

  “My stepfather gives me $1000 to live off of.” I admitted.

  “YOUR STEPDAD!? But he was the one that killed your mother…or had her killed by his son.” He said.

  “Yeah…I know.” I confessed.

  “So…I don’t understand. Isn’t James the one that killed her?” He said.

  “It’s complicated.” I admitted.

  “So the guy that killed your mother; your stepfather’s son; is coming to your house tomorrow to give you $1000?”

  “It’s complicated.” I argued. I wanted to drop it.

  “Is that the only answer I’m going to get about it?” He asked.

  “Yes…” I said.

  He let out a frustrated sigh.

  He dropped it for now. I wanted to tell him everything but my conscious was telling me not too. But I could tell that this conversation was not over.

  “I don’t want you to get hurt.” I admitted.

  “I don’t want him to hurt you.” Austin said.

  “He won’t hurt me…” I hoped.

  “He’d better not!” Austin warned.

  We finished eating dinner and he paid the check as usual. He helped me in the car and drove me home in silence. When we reached the house he killed the engine and sat in silence for a few seconds. He let out a sigh and climbed out of the car. He opened my door and helped me climbed out. We walked up the walkway towards my front door.

  “It’s not even sundown…do you want to come in?” I asked him.

  “I’d better not…just in case he showed up early.” He said with hurt in his voice.

  He kissed me gently. He came out of the kiss and pulled me into a hug.

  “I’m just a phone call away Ami.” He said. “I’ll see you later. Call me tomorrow and let me know you’re safe.” He said and turned around trying to hid
e his hurt and worry. “I love you…” He mumbled loud enough for me to hear him.

  My heart sank as I thought about those words. The last person I said those words to was Jesse. The flashbacks of his face began to happen again as I unlocked my front door and slipped inside. I seen his face clear as the first day I met him, I seen his luscious red lips, his gorgeous shamrock green eyes, his sexy sensitive smile. I began to think of his lustful hairless chest and his strong arms pressing against me. I started to think about making love with him, moving his meat around inside me and the wonderful feeling of the moment we made our baby. I thought about our baby. Would it have been a little girl or a little boy? I couldn’t help but think about the “what if’s”. I began to remember how much I truly missed him. I walked into the bathroom to get my shower. I turned on the water and climbed in. I began to think about the hand gliding I did today. I felt so free up in the air with Austin. I really think I’m in love with him. Maybe I can forget about Jesse after all…but it’s going to take more time to wipe him out of my mind completely.

  After I got out of the shower I got dressed and climbed into bed. Next thing I know I was asleep. I began to dream again. The dream scared me because it started just like it did before. I seen my feet dressed in sliver heels and I traveled up my body and revealed a beautiful white and silver wedding dress. I was wearing pearls and carrying a bouquet of flowers with beautiful Hawaiian flowers. My auburn hair was put up in a fancy bun and strings of hair were coming down in curls around my face. I saw familiar faces on the pews of the church as I walked towards the altar. The pews were dressed in Hawaiian colors and a cool breeze was feeling the air. I looked up at the altar and seen a beautiful sunset right over the ocean as I walked towards my groom. I could see my groom’s tux but never his face as I walked towards him. I finally reached the altar and looked up. My groom’s face was blank. It never reveled even as I kissed him after the “I do’s.”

  Meanwhile

  At the airport in Niagara Falls

  Jesse had followed James to the airport but he lost him in the crowd. He ordered a ticket to Florida. Little did he know…James wasn’t going to Florida; He was coming to Hawaii to see me. Both flights boarded about the same time and both boys were off in different directions. The only flight today from Niagara Falls to Florida was to Orlando. That’s where he thought I was. After the flight landed he franticly searched for James but he couldn’t find him. He left the airport and began to search for me. James was still on the plane heading to Hawaii.