Constellation

by Jennifer Locklear

  I smiled. Heide was self-assured and smart. I almost forgot I was talking to a second grader. “Isn’t that a little scary?”

  “I’ve seen videos that are scary, but they’re funny at the same time.”

  Her focus drifted away from the ceiling and back to me once again. “Like the Creeper. No one meant to create it. Someone was just trying to make a pig and shebam! He made a Creeper.”

  Heide sat, waiting for me to respond. I was at a loss for words, however, which prompted her to elaborate. “Creepers don’t have hands, just like pigs don’t have hands.”

  “That does sound strange.”

  “That’s not the only thing that will scare you.”

  “What else would scare me?”

  “The deadly Herobrine,” Heide whispered for dramatic effect.

  “Is he the bad guy?”

  She nodded with excitement. “I don’t know the story, but he can type in words backward and if you try to read it, he’s asking you things like if you can see him or if you like him. That’s scary. I don’t know why he’s evil, but I’ll look it up on my tablet and let you know what I find out.”

  I blinked and stared at the closed door again, a thought occurring to me. I turned back to Heide.

  “Does your dad know where you are?”

  She shrugged just as there was a light knock on my door.

  “That’s him,” she informed me.

  I stood up from my desk and made my way over to open it.

  “That’s how he knocks.” She remained sitting in my office, swinging her legs in the air just above the floor.

  I pulled open the door, and Jack’s attention went straight to his daughter.

  She looked over her shoulder. “We were just having a nice conversation and you interrupted,” she said, chiding her father, but her tone carried a level of affection that was absent in my relationship with Robert. My stomach tightened in an all too familiar spasm of awkwardness.

  Jack raised his eyebrows in surprise.

  If this interaction had been between my father and me, I would have been in trouble for being a smart ass—not that it ever stopped me. I waited for Jack’s reaction with great interest.

  “You wandered off without letting me know where you were going. We talked about this, remember?”

  She lowered her head and nodded. “I know.”

  A small ripple of anxiety shot through me, along with a sudden urge of protectiveness. “She just got here a minute ago,” I explained. “I was just going to make sure you knew she was with me.”

  Then I whispered, “I hope you’re not too upset.”

  Jack’s kind eyes met mine. “Of course not.” He offered a slight smile before addressing Heide once again, “We should let Kathleen get back to work. And you need to think about getting your homework done before soccer practice.”

  Heide stood up from her chair and looked at me. “Are you coming over for dinner?”

  Jack’s expression morphed into amused surprise as did my own. Heide waited for an answer.

  “Uh. Well. That’s so nice of you to invite me over, Heide.”

  I glanced from her to her father, and when our eyes met once again, he said, “I’d be happy to have you. If you’re up to it.”

  His words sounded innocent, but my body tingled in anticipation from his suggestive phrasing. I cleared my throat and rubbed the back of my neck while I thought about how to answer him. The day had been excruciating from the moment I stepped into the office, and although my argument with Robert had been the worst part of it, Jack had also contributed to the stress of the day.

  “You were nice enough to share lunch with me, so I think I should let you and Heide spend some time together this evening.”

  Her chipper voice reminded me we were not alone. “We’ll have to finish talking about Minecraft later then.”

  “Sounds good,” I responded. “I look forward to hearing more about Herobrine.”

  Heide waved good-bye, and she made her way back toward her father’s office.

  With his daughter no longer in our company, Jack surprised me yet again. “Did things go all right in there after I left?”

  I crossed my arms as I leaned against the doorframe. There was a crease on his forehead that I longed to smooth away, but I kept my hands locked on my arms.

  “We’re good to go for the event.” I was guarded, but wanted to offer him reassurance. “No worries.”

  He glanced around our surroundings before speaking again. “I’ve been thinking about you. Can I call you tonight?”

  I was surprised by the question and my cheeks began to blush. “Um. Sure. I guess.”

  “Good. Heide’s bedtime is nine. Give me until around nine thirty?”

  “Okay.”

  His eyes roamed over my face with great consideration. “Go home and relax. I’ll speak with you soon.”

  I TOOK Jack’s advice. I bought a bottle of wine on the way home and indulged in a couple of glasses that evening. I settled into my room and prepared to speak with him from the comfort of my own bed. I wasn’t sure what might happen during our conversation, but I was calm about it. I had faith that Jack wasn’t about to make my day any worse.

  My phone rang on time.

  “How are you doing?” His initial greeting was pleasant and relaxed.

  I smiled as I settled back against my stack of pillows. “Fine. Tired,” I confessed. “It was a long day.”

  “I’m worried about you.”

  “You are?” Worry for my well-being wasn’t something I was used to from others. The revelation almost made me worry for him.

  “Yes. I’m uncomfortable about what happened today.”

  “Which part?”

  Jack chuckled a little. “Don’t joke, Kathleen.”

  He’d misunderstood me and I considered correcting him, but then he took a shaky breath.

  “I don’t know what to think about how Robert treated you,” he began. “I saw your face. It disturbed you. And I worry I’ll upset you more by telling you this.”

  I bit my lip and wondered if I could have a meaningful conversation with this man about the events of the afternoon without it dissolving into an argument. It was important to me that Jack and I ended this phone call on good terms.

  “I’m sorry you saw that.” I hoped succinct honesty would be the best policy.

  “Don’t apologize for something you didn’t do. It was just … I don’t know how to describe it.” Jack’s voice drifted away into uncertainty.

  “You wouldn’t treat Heide like that.” I made the conclusion with confidence.

  His response was swift and strong. “You’re right. I wouldn’t.” Jack had taken a calculated risk voicing his true opinion. After all, we weren’t just talking about my father, we were talking about Jack’s boss.

  I gathered my thoughts for a few moments and waited for Jack to speak again. I wanted him to dictate what direction our conversation would take.

  “It didn’t seem affectionate. Or proper,” he added.

  I couldn’t deny it, and I wouldn’t insult Jack by insisting otherwise. “That’s because it wasn’t,” I replied. “It was territorial.”

  Jack’s bluntness was surprising, but I had to admit it was good to speak about Robert with such openness. It wasn’t something I’d been encouraged to do.

  Jack cleared his throat. “I should have gone to HR as soon as I left the room. I’m pissed at myself that I left you in there with him. I didn’t want to do that. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  I took a deep sigh. This was where we were apt to disagree, but I was determined to be as candid as possible.

  “I appreciate that, but I do have to take some responsibility here. I’m not innocent in what happened today. He wouldn’t have done that without provocation.”

  Jack’s silence stretched out on the phone, and I felt compelled to add one more truth. “We don’t have a typical father-daughter bond. At least I’m pretty sure of that.”

  “It
’s a lot to take in, Kathleen. I’m appalled and confused about what I saw in that room.”

  “I’m not going to make excuses for him or defend him. I’m also not ready to tell you a lot about him. He’s my father and we have substantial problems. We fight. A lot. But this is the first time a personal argument reared its head at the office. What you saw was awkward and it embarrassed me, but it’s not typical of him. I just need you to understand that. It was an aberration.”

  “It was wrong of me to leave you alone with him,” he repeated. “I guess I was still trying to process what happened at lunch. I’m not sure what to think about that either. I thought we connected Friday night.”

  “We definitely did.”

  Now, I was trying to lighten the mood, but Jack was determined. Focused.

  “You were upset with me Saturday morning. And today.”

  A complexity of emotion overtook me from the vulnerability in Jack’s voice. A part of me was thrilled to shift focus back to our sex lives, while another part was remorseful over my poor behavior. I enjoyed my night with Jack and couldn’t stand the thought of hurting him again with additional experimentation. In that moment, I was the immature girl Robert had accused me of being a few hours earlier. If I was going to remain romantically interested in Jack, I first had to gain a certain amount of self-control.

  “I just need a couple of days.”

  “You said that on Saturday when I asked to call you,” he challenged.

  “I know.” It was as close as I would come to admitting I was stalling.

  “I still want to see you.”

  “I know that now. I realized that when Heide invited me over for dinner tonight.”

  “You didn’t believe me on Saturday?” Jack sounded surprised.

  “No. I mean, I did. I’m just tired. A bit confused, I guess.” It was an insufficient answer and we both knew it. This time, Jack was patient while I figured out what to say next.

  “I didn’t see Friday coming. I don’t know what’s happening between us.” My voice dropped to a near whisper. “Or what to expect now.”

  “Have dinner with me tomorrow, and we’ll talk about it.” Jack’s voice sounded hopeful.

  Still I hesitated. “I don’t know, Jack.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’ll want more from you than dinner. I already do.” There. It was out there. I still wanted Jack Evans. So much. But before Jack could respond, I rambled on, “Maybe it’s just best to wait until the Portland event is over. Robert is complicating the whole thing. I need stuff to settle down with him first. I’ve offended him more than I’ve offended you. I’m on more stable ground with you, and I just need to calm him down before I can focus on anything else.”

  “Please don’t think you’ve offended me. Not even for a moment.”

  Jack’s words held such power and lifted a heavy burden from me. I was startled by the sudden lightness. Until the weight lifted from my shoulders, I wasn’t aware of its existence. I thanked him for saying so, and our conversation fell into another small but comfortable lull.

  “How long have you been fighting with your father?” His question should have put me on the defensive, but it didn’t.

  I thought long and hard before answering, “Always.” It was the first time I’d said as much out loud. “I don’t know anything else.”

  “Have you ever tried family therapy?”

  I shook my head as I answered. “That’s pointless. Even if I was still interested in trying to change the status quo, he never sees anything wrong in what he’s doing.”

  “That’s no way to live.”

  “Thankfully, we don’t live forever.”

  Jack didn’t respond and after a few moments, I became concerned.

  “Maybe now I’ve offended you?”

  “I don’t know anything about the rest of your life. I only know what I saw today. I need to remember it’s not my place to make judgments. But if I ever see anything like that again, I won’t walk away like I did this afternoon.”

  I couldn’t believe what he’d said—words I was used to hearing in movies or reading in books—but the practical side of me set my swelling emotions aside.

  “You don’t want to risk your job over this. I can handle Robert.”

  “Fuck the job. I don’t care if he is your father or my boss. I won’t tolerate you being treated that way.” His passion now was in stark contrast to his ex-wife’s claim that he loved his career more than he loved her. I was astonished. His words didn’t make sense, but their effect on my smoldering libido was immediate and urgent.

  I dared to change the subject. “So you still like me?”

  “Very much.”

  “Can I tell you something?”

  “Please do.”

  “I can’t stop thinking about Friday night.” My voice was bold, but my stomach was a flutter of nerves.

  “Go on.” His voice held the same husky tone from a few evenings before. He was daring me, and I was more than happy to play this game.

  “I’ve been thinking about it so much I’m uncomfortable. Physically. If you want to know the truth, I may have to do something about it this evening if I’m going to get a decent night’s rest.”

  “I’m not opposed to phone sex.” As usual, Jack was cool under pressure.

  “Are you serious?” There was no point in hiding my astonishment.

  “It’s not ideal, but it’s better than nothing.”

  “I’ve never tried it.” Another confession from me, but there was nothing to worry about. I wanted to explore this with him.

  “Where are you now?” he asked. “Are you in bed?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are the sheets over you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Pull them down.”

  I didn’t so much pull them down as kick them away with my feet.

  “What are you wearing?” he inquired.

  I glanced down to give him an accurate description. “A night shirt.”

  “A tee shirt?”

  “No.” I wrinkled my nose as I elaborated. “Silk. Blue.”

  “You have a fondness for lingerie. You were wearing some last weekend, too.”

  “It’s an indulgence,” I said.

  “Pull your shirt up,” he demanded.

  I complied.

  “Did you do it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you wearing panties?”

  “No.”

  Jack’s rough sigh deliciously tickled my ear.

  “Do you want to touch yourself?”

  I smiled in anticipation. “I’d rather have you do it.”

  “So would I,” he said. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

  “I was going to anyway. You may as well keep me company.”

  “Are your legs open?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Open them for me.”

  I obeyed. “Are you going to do this with me?”

  “Not this time. If I was there with you in your bed tonight, I’d devote all my efforts to you.”

  I was apprehensive and a smidge disappointed. “You want me to do this alone?”

  “We’ll see. What I want most of all is for you to let go of went wrong today, so if I were there, you’d be focused on my touch.”

  My hand began to drift downward. “Tell me, Jack. Tell me what I should think about.”

  “I’d want us to try something new together. Something we didn’t do on Friday night.”

  “What?” I pleaded with him to tell me.

  “Where are your fingers, Kathleen?”

  “Lower.”

  “Tell me.”

  “Moving through my hair,” I said with a touch of shyness.

  “Not low enough. Move farther down.”

  There was no denying the moaning gasp that escaped my mouth when my fingers made contact.

  “I want you wet.”

  “I’ve been wet since Friday.”

  “If I were there my mouth would be
where your fingers are now.” Jack’s voice had deepened, his tone possessive.

  I escalated the speed of my circular movements, and I panted in response both to the sensation and to Jack’s voice.

  “You don’t know how much I want to taste you. One night, I hope you’ll let me.”

  His daring suggestion heightened my arousal. I was frenzied and had reached the point of no return. I needed to forget about the miseries of the day and allow Jack’s words to seduce me into sweet oblivion.

  “Tell me,” I gasped. “Please tell me more.”

  “My mouth would be on you, all over you. My tongue would thrust inside you.”

  My body tensed in anticipation of my release, and I moaned into the phone.

  “You’re close, Kathleen. Whatever you’re doing to yourself, don’t stop. Keep going. Say my name when you come.”

  As he finished with his request, my orgasm overtook my entire being. I lost my grip on the phone, and it slid off my shoulder as I grasped the sheets. The intensity of the moment consumed me, and if Jack said anything else, I didn’t know it. But I damn well made sure he heard me and called out his name several times until my body began to relax.

  I took several, slow deep breaths as the lingering pleasure radiated throughout my body. The last thing I expected to receive from Jack during this call was phone sex, but I was so very happy at this turn of events.

  When I retrieved the phone, I was sated and smiling.

  “Are you there?” I asked.

  “How could I hang up on that?”

  I flushed. He sounded relaxed and happy. I was tempted to ask if he’d changed his mind about joining in with me, but I was overcome with emotion and appreciation.

  “Thank you, Jack … for this.”

  “Thank you for trusting me, Kathleen.”

  “Now what?” I asked him. His sweetness was intoxicating. I’d never met anyone quite like this man.

  “I’d be happy to listen to you again if you need more.”

  The persistent smile on my face grew bigger.

  “I could be talked into another one,” I answered, “but I’d like to save it for you.”