“So, who is he?”
Cade’s direct question, which comes out of nowhere, catches me by surprise and causes me to choke on the big gulp of sweet tea I just took.
“He who? There’s no one,” I sputter.
We both know I’m lying. Cade just smirks and crosses his arms as he waits for me to talk. He knows me too well.
“Fine, maybe there is someone. Let’s call him...Salt,” I say. Even now, I’m cautious about mentioning my non-relationship with Lawson and decide to refer to him as the first thing that lands in my line of sight. It’s frustrating, to say the least, to have to be so hush-hush about something. I really, really don’t like being someone’s secret.
“You sure you want to listen to this?” I ask, hoping that he’ll say yes because I really would like a man’s advice.
Cade, the angel, nods his head and gestures for me to continue with my story. I speak as low as I can, and even though he tilts his head so that his good ear is facing me, I make sure to keep eye contact and speak at a steady pace so that he can read my lips if needed.
I launch into my story and can feel my face coloring with embarrassment when I explain the nature of my relationship with Lawson. Thankfully Cade just gives me a small, encouraging smile; he’s a guy, so this probably doesn’t shock him. I continue on and explain my frustration over having to be kept a secret and the constant struggle to keep my growing feelings at bay. As I tell him my story, our food arrives and we take a break from my wreck of a love life to eat.
We both bite into our chicken at the same time, and I smile around my bite as I hear Cade’s groan of satisfaction. Hot chicken is one of my favorites, and I think I’ve created a fan for life. I gingerly hold the juicy piece of chicken and savor the crisp of the skin and riot of flavors on my tongue. We chew for a few moments in silence, each enjoying our food, before Cade gestures for me to continue with my story.
“I’m so confused. The sex is obviously spectacular, but he confuses me. He takes me out to dinner beforehand, and lately he’s been wanting to talk and cuddle after. It wasn’t like that before, and I feel like even though we aren’t addressing it, we’re crossing some sort of line or getting closer. I just…” I look up at the ceiling and try to think of how to word what I’m feeling. “I just know that I’m probably not handling this how I should. Should I say anything?”
Cade wipes his lips with a napkin as he thinks about his response. “What do you want?”
“Ugh. That’s the million dollar question. Why is such a simple question so difficult to answer?” I ask. “I admit...I care about him more than I should. But I finally feel like I’m in a good place with myself again. I still plan on going back to Chicago.”
“Then that’s your answer.”
“That’s it?” I push. I’m not sure if I want him to convince me otherwise or not, and that thought alone terrifies me.
He nods and leans closer to me over the table. “You’re leaving. He’s staying. He’s a guy. If he wants more, he’ll either man up and say it or he won’t. It’s simple.”
My heart drops a little at his words. “Is it that simple?”
Another nod answers my question. “Guys are simple. If he wanted more, he wouldn’t set up this sex-only arrangement.”
“But he never does repeats, Cade. I’m a repeat,” I say as vehemently as I can while trying to keep my volume down. I don’t even realize I’m tearing my napkin up into tiny pieces as a sign of my frustration until Cade reaches over and places a large hand over my fidgeting fingers.
“Mac,” he says kindly. “It’s still temporary. If he wants more, he’ll tell you. Don’t chase after a man who doesn’t want you. You deserve better.”
“I didn’t say I was chasing him,” I say faintly.
“No, but you want to. It’s in every word you haven’t spoken. If he cares, he’ll come around. If not, he doesn’t deserve you. Simple,” he says as he leans back against the booth, taking the warmth of his hand and my hope with him.
“You’re right,” I try to admit brightly. “It sounds cliché, but if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Okay, enough about me,” I say as I slap my palm against the table top. “What about you? What’s new?”
“Not much. Just busy with work,” he says.
Cade briefly fills me in on what’s been happening back home—it hits me now how wrong it feels to call Chicago home—before steering the conversation to what we’re doing today. I start to throw out options and see that his gaze has drifted off my face to something behind me. I can usually tell when he’s paying attention, and it’s as obvious as the sky is blue that I’ve lost him. His lips are slightly parted, and a gleam of interest brightens his gaze as he stares at whatever has captured his attention.
I raise a quizzical brow and turn to look over my shoulder. It takes me a moment because nothing immediately stands out, but I feel my other brow join my raised one when I see what must have caught his attention. Walking out of Stella’s is a tall, curvy woman with her hair in a high ponytail, the black strands swishing with each step. I look back to the hostess counter and see a tower of brown boxes that I’d bet my entire savings holds some baked goods. The bell attached to the door jingles with her departure, and I plaster an innocent expression on my face as I turn and face my friend again.
I smile inwardly when I see his glazed gaze fixated on the door.
“Something, or someone, catch your eye?” I ask nonchalantly.
My words seem to break him out of his daze because he shakes his head and turns his attention back to me.
“Nope.”
“You sure about that?”
His eyes flicker toward the door and back to me so quickly I would’ve missed it if I hadn’t been paying such close attention. I smile at him, letting him know in my own way that I caught his action.
“Yep,” he answers curtly.
Interesting, I think to myself. Usually Cade is very open about women who catch his eye, and I’m pretty sure that’s what Langley just did.
“Okay, if you say so.” I let it slide and decide not to pursue it because he could have been momentarily stunned by her looks. Also, he gave me some honest advice so I figure it’s okay to let him off the hook for right now.
I look down at my wrist and check the time. “I think we can head back to my parents’ house,” I say. “I’d like you to meet my family and figure we can just relax tonight. You’ve had a long trip.”
Cade simply nods in agreement, so we pay and leave Stella’s. As we exit and walk out into the sunshine, I loop my arm around Cade’s and give him a quick squeeze. With my other hand, I reach over and tug his shirt down a tiny bit at the shoulder so he knows to look down at me. Once he glances down and makes eye contact, I decide to speak.
“Thanks again for visiting me, CC. It’s so nice to have you here. It means the world to me.”
In response, he pulls his arm free from my grasp and loops it around my shoulder. He pulls me close to his side as he says, “Anything for my best friend.”
I smile at his sweetness. I’m so lucky to have him in my life. It really is like having a second older brother and I love it, so much so that Smith would probably be a little jealous. “I guess I should be honest and say what I’m really thanking you for.”
He looks at me expectantly, and I fight the smile that’s trying to bloom on my face.
“Thank you for the pizza. That really hit the spot,” I say seriously, my expression neutral.
Cade throws his head back and laughs loudly at my words, the rich sound ringing happily in the air as we walk toward the car. As his chuckles die down, he gives me one more tight squeeze before opening the door for me like the gentleman he was raised to be.
I enter the car and can’t help but feel a tingle of awareness zip down my spine. It feels like I’m being watched. Goosebumps break out across my skin and the hair on the nape of my neck rises. I look around as Cade shuts me in and walks around to the driver side door. I don’t see anything and de
cide to ignore the odd sensation. It’s probably all in my head.
18
Lawson
I’m losing it and am not sure how to feel right now. Smith and I just got done fishing and have made it back to town. We stop to fill up on gas and as soon as we step out of the truck, we are approached by two old biddies. I swear these women must have been ninjas in their past lives, they move so silently.
“Oh, good day to you, Smith Layne! You too, Lawson dear! Do y’all have a moment?” one of the women asks. As they get closer to us, I realize they’re two of Starwood’s biggest gossips. Great.
“We have more than a moment for two beautiful ladies such as yourselves,” Smith says. “Good day to you both, Ms. Saunders and Ms. Garber.”
I struggle to not roll my eyes, but the two women swoon and preen at Smith’s words.
“Likewise, honey. We have a question for you. Why didn’t you tell us your sweet sister has a beau?” Ms. Garber asks.
I freeze at the words and wait for them to turn their eyes on me as they wait for a response. I am surprised and not as relieved as I thought I’d be when they both keep their gazes locked on Smith.
“A beau?” Smith asks, confusion clear in his tone.
“Oh yes,” chimes in Ms. Saunders. “And he’s handsome, too.”
“I’m sorry, but Mac doesn’t have a ‘beau’ in her life.”
“Oh, she sure does, darlin’. I dare say he is one of the most handsome men I’ve ever seen in my life.”
Both women titter like birds, excitement clear in their eyes.
“Yes, they’ve been spending all day together. We saw them cruising around in a black car earlier—a fancy car, mind you—and then about an hour ago they entered Stella’s.”
“They sure did,” the other woman says. “We stopped by to get some water and saw them gazing at each other with stars in their eyes. He had his hand on top of hers, and they just looked so cozy.”
Without skipping a beat between breaths, the conversation continues without input from me or Smith.
“I know, it was just precious. I’ve never seen him before. You can’t forget a face like that. I hope he ends up staying.”
“I’ll keep my fingers crossed for a spring wedding for the two.”
Wait, what?
“Oh, yes, that sounds delightful.”
The two women are lost in each other as they talk while we just stand here, completely clueless.
“Well, Ms. Saunders,” I nod in her direction. “Ms. Garber,” I say with another nod. “We need to get going, but thank you so much for stopping by to say hello. We hope you both have a wonderful day,” I say as I tip my baseball cap to them.
“Thank you, Lawson. Thank you, Smith. We should get goin’.”
“Yes, you’re right. You sweet boys have a good day now, ya hear?” With those words, the two gossips leave as quickly as they came.
Now I’m standing here and am looking at Smith, waiting for him to fill the ensuing silence. I don’t want to press him for information and raise suspicion, but if Mac is really seeing someone I’m sure as hell not okay with it.
“Well, that was weird,” he says as runs his hand over the back of his neck.
“Yeah, it was,” I agree. "Well...if she gets married let me know so I can buy a tux,” I laugh, hoping that it covers up the anxiety I’m feeling in the pit of my stomach like a dead weight.
“Ha, funny. We may not talk as often as I’d like since she moved away but Mac isn’t seeing anyone. I’d know if she was. The only person she ever really talks about regularly from back in Chicago is her best friend, CC. These women are crazy, man.” Smith shakes his head and starts walking toward the gas station. “I’ll be right back. I gotta take a piss. Let me know how much I owe you for gas.”
I nod absentmindedly as I walk to the pump. I swipe my card and lean against my truck as the tank fills. I think back on my previous talks with Mac, and my gut twists at the realization that she’s never confirmed her single status. I may be a lot of things but I refuse to be any type of homewrecker. I close my eyes and savor the cool metal against my back as I think. I know Mac, and she isn’t the type to cheat. She’d tell me if she was seeing someone. By the time the tank is full and my receipt spits out I’ve decided that Ms. Saunders and Ms. Garber, gossip extraordinaires that they are, must be mistaken. That’s gotta be it.
Smith shows up just as I’m rounding the truck, and we hop in at the same time. “Hey Law, you got plans tonight?”
“No, I’ve got nothing. What d’ya have in mind?”
“If you wanna stay for dinner you’re welcome to. My parents are makin’ a feast for the mysterious CC’s visit. They’re beyond excited to meet Mac’s best friend from the city.”
I turn the key in the ignition and think for all of two seconds before I respond. “That’d be nice. Thanks, Smith.” I hate to admit it but I’d like to see Mac again, even if we aren’t having sex. I like spending time with her. Jesus, something really is wrong with me.
I’m back on the road when Smith’s comment pulls me out of my self-chastisement. “Awesome! It’s still early, so you can hang at the house until then if you want.”
“Maybe. I’ll play it by ear and see how I’m feelin’.”
We ride in silence through the town’s main street for a few minutes before getting held up at a railroad crossing.
“What the?” Smith says in a voice filled with shock.
I turn and look at him curiously. “You okay, man?”
In answer, he points across the street and says, “Who is that?”
I follow the direction of his hand and take in the large, vintage-looking sign for Stella’s. I didn’t realize it but we have a clear view of the parking lot from where we’re waiting. My eyes scan the surrounding area before zeroing in on what must have undoubtedly captured Smith’s attention.
What in the ever-loving fuck?
I can feel my blood pressure start to rise and an uncomfortable heat start to creep up my neck as I take in the sight before us. Instead of spending time with her best friend like she told me, Mac is leaving Stella’s with a man in tow. I squint and try to get a good look at the guy. He’s definitely not from around here. I watch as they walk into the parking lot arm in arm but feel myself tense up like a motherfucker when I see him pull his arm free and loop it around her shoulders. I’m tempted to undo my seat belt and go find out what the hell is going on but am dragged back to reality when I hear Smith muttering his confusion under his breath beside me.
We watch as the two laugh and smile, happiness clear on their faces. It doesn’t take a genius to know that they’re comfortable with one another. I’ve seen a lot of different expressions on Mac’s face and have been the cause of some of my favorites: loose and relaxed when we talk, sassy when we banter, and replete from the multiple orgasms I’ve given her. But now I see a different look on her face that hasn’t been directed at me before: pure contentment. I swivel my eyes toward the railroad crossing and see there’s still a long line of train cars that have yet to pass.
I look back at Mac and this mystery fucker. I didn’t think it possible but I tense up even more when they get to a luxury car and he draws her into a tight hug. Mac wraps her arms around this guy’s waist and looks up at him, her smile radiant and unaffected. He opens the door for her and I see Mac stop, turn, and scan the surrounding area with her eyes for a few brief moments before entering the vehicle. As if he’s the luckiest man in the world, the guy walks around the car with a huge fucking grin on his face. He is, I think to myself, because he’s with her.
I shake my head and tear my eyes away from them when I hear cars start to move ahead of me. It looks like the train has passed completely. I start to drive again and can’t stop replaying what I just saw in my mind as I drive back to Shady Layne Orchard.
“Maybe those women were right,” Smith chimes in after a few moments. “It sure looked like the two were close, right man?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
My answer is terse, but I can’t bring myself to sound remotely polite right now. I’m not sure why I’m all worked up, but I feel the urge to hit something.
“I wonder why she didn’t just tell us CC wasn’t visiting. I’m assuming her friend was her cover,” Smith muses out loud. “Oh well, I guess we’ll have to meet him tonight and find out what’s going on. Mac wouldn’t dare flake on my parents, especially since they’ve been preparing a big dinner.”
I make a noncommittal sound in the back of my throat. The conversation dies after this and before I know it, we’re back at the house.
“I’ll be back later, Smith. I’d rather get cleaned up and wind down from our fishing trip before coming over for dinner,” I say as I pull up and put the truck in park.
“No problem, Law. I’ll catch you later.” He tips his hat in my direction as he exits the vehicle and walks into the house.
“Later, man.”
I’m pulling away from the house and catch sight of the barn in my peripheral vision. I head toward it and park on the side. I didn’t realize until it was too late that I had left one of my ladders outside the other day when we were painting. I locate it quickly and am in the process of putting it in the bed of my truck when I hear another car in the distance. I lift my head in the direction of the sound, and the same black car from Stella’s pulls up the driveway.
I feel like a fucking creep as I stand here and watch from the side of the barn, but I can’t pull myself away. When the car parks mystery asshole exits, walks around to open the door for Mac, and puts his hand on her back as they head inside the house. They’re still smiling and laughing as if they never stopped. I feel my jaw clench and unclench repeatedly at their closeness. I can’t tear my eyes away from the scene and watch on as something I never thought I’d see, or even thought would bother me for that matter, unfolds before my eyes. With a loud shriek of laughter and a giggle that carries on the breeze to my heated ears, Mac hops onto her secret lover’s back. His hands grip her thighs, and he easily turns her body and hoists her over his shoulder. The last I see of Mac’s face is her smile before it’s covered by her long hair that falls in a glossy cascade, the sun hitting it so it shines like molten milk chocolate.
Sin and Cider Page 14