Biomancy

by Desdemona Gunn

  He sighed. “You’re right.” Liz and Rhod hugged at this point, the two whispering into each other’s ears in Nojernan. The language was beyond Elon, but he picked up a few words.

  “...sorry...”

  “...live...”

  “...deserve...”

  “...why?”

  “...please...”

  After they released each other, they both turned to look at Elon. “Zippy, look. I... I killed someone. Not on purpose, for sure, but they don’t know that. They’re gonna come looking for me. I... I deserve to be locked away. Maybe I don’t as a person, but I do deserve punishment for... this. I only hope it won’t take long to convince them that I didn’t mean to, and maybe I won’t spend my whole life in the dungeons.”

  “What? Since when have you believed in the judicial system?”

  “I don’t. I believe in recompense, Zippy. Not for them, for myself. I did something wrong. If I got off scot free, it wouldn’t be right. I’d be rewarding myself for fucking up beyond... anything, really. I failed and the ramifications were horrific. I need this.”

  “We can run, Cherry. Me and Liz, we’re—”

  “I know. She told me. I’m sorry, Zippy, but I can’t. It’s just... This is what I need. The only way I’ll find closure is by doing my time. You won’t convince me otherwise. I’m sorry, Elon.”

  They pulled in tight for another hug as a tear dropped down his face, followed by another and another. “Damn it all, Cherry. It shouldn’t have gone down like this.”

  “No... It shouldn’t have. But it did. I have to own up to it, and face the consequences. Otherwise...” The hug was clenched tight one last time before she pulled back, kissed him on the cheek, and said, “Get the fuck out of here, Zippy. I need them to find me. They can’t find you. Busting a murderer out? You’ll probably just be hanged.”

  He smiled at her, tears streaming down his cheeks as he wiped them away with a sleeve. She hugged and kissed Liz, and pushed her at Elon. “Seriously, I’m not joking. Both of you. Get the fuck out. I... I hope I’ll see you both again. I love the both of you.” The last thing Elon felt of her before disappearing into the night was a satisfaction he’d never seen. She was scared out of her mind, but he could tell just in her posture and voice. Seeing them had brought her solace, and giving her the chance to explain her actions and thoughts were enough. It killed him to leave, but it’s what she wanted, and he respected that. He had to. Dammit.

  Chapter 33: To Steal Into the Night

  Nephkeska, Northern Milakria

  The town was into spring by now, the sun in full exposure beating down on the dry dirt, making Rhia wipe a wall of sweat off her forehead. This dess was the worst so far, what with no rain for weeks and little cloud cover. What worried her was that it was only mid-spring. The sun still had a week and a half of exposure, and if it was this bad now, how bad would it get? Local farms were already far dryer than they estimated; stress ran high for all in town, save for Rhia.

  Cassandra’s editing gigs were fairly steady, so they didn’t want for money or food, though the supply of local food was quickly dwindling compared to the demand. Still, Rhia had little stress, that is, until Dmitri broke up with her just minutes past.

  She stalked across town in the dead heat, garbed in a loose tank top, short shorts and the custom running shoes she got from a merchant in Squall’s End a few turns previous. Her run had been cut short by the sweltering heat.

  She had stopped at Dmitri’s house to say hi, only to catch him doing his own form of exercise with Tyrsa, a girl she’d known since moving and, until then, got along relatively well with. Illy was on the other side of town, but that didn’t stop her. Jogging was out of the question, too dry and hot for that, but she walked the distance, sticking to the shade where possible.

  The Serria house was smaller than Rhia’s, and made of simple adobe. She knocked on the wooden door nice and loud and was greeted by a redheaded Milaric with striking grey eyes, small rings under them showing a lack of good sleep. Rhia knew this to be chronic as of late for her.

  “Hi, Mrs. Serria.”

  “Oh, Rhia, hi. You want me to get Illy?”

  “Mum!” She heard the second-born daughter shriek behind her. Kiernan, now a few months from one thirty, seemed to have changed very little from when she was sixty. Every time Rhia saw her, she was either complaining, screaming, or bragging. The perfect little princess.

  “Kiernan, please. Calm down.”

  “No! You can’t do this!”

  “Kiernan, not now.”

  “I need to go to this! Everyone’s going.”

  “Not you, you’re grounded, we’ve been over this. Rhia, she’s in her bedroom.”

  “Thanks, Mrs. S.”

  “Mum! It’s not fair!” It took every bit of will for Rhia not to slap her, she was in the mood for it, but opted not to add to the drama.

  “I’ll hear no more of it, young lady.”

  “Why do you hate me?”

  “Maybe you shouldn’t have been out smoking marijuana with those boys.”

  “You’re such a tyrant!” She slipped past the scene and into the bedroom. It seemed her dad and little brother were out, as the first and third-borns were in the room. She closed the door, hoping to dampen the noise. It did, slightly.

  “Hey, Illy.”

  “Hey, Rhi.”

  “Hi, Rhia.” Aella waved. Also redheaded, the littlest sister, only a hundred and two, shared Illy’s grey eyes, but had a stockier build than the rest. She played sports at school with the boys, and her muscles showed it. Her horns were already developed to the shoulders and were quite the distance out. Aella was definitely no pushover.

  “Hey, Ella. How’s things?”

  “Good.” Despite her fearsome build, her voice was light and singsongy as ever. “My game got cancelled. It’s all right, I got shit to do anyway.”

  “Ella!” Illy reprimanded.

  “What? You say worse things.”

  “Yeah, and I’m fifty turns your senior. Yer only a hundred, no swearing allowed.”

  “Whatever.” She went back to her desk.

  “Hey, Ella? Could I talk to Illy alone for a little?”

  “Sure,” she shrugged. “Dad probably wants me at temple anyway. Illy, I’m guessing you’re not coming?”

  “If he asks, tell him I have girl problems. Cramps, emotional, oh god. It’s so bad.” She put the back of her hand to her head.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” She chuckled as she left. A wall of sound hit her as the door opened, and quieted a touch as it closed.

  “What’s up, Rhi?” She hopped off the top bunk of the right bed, motioning the beanbag to Rhia. She took the cue and flopped into it.

  “Dmitri and I broke up.”

  “Oh no. Who could have seen it coming? The tragedy.”

  “Oh shut it! I liked him, he was good emotional support.”

  “I’m sure that was the only reason you stayed together.”

  “What d’ye mean by that?”

  “You two fought so much, it was obvious you were only with him for his dick.”

  “What?” Her face flushed red. “We never, no! We never did that. I never— No!”

  Illy just raised an eyebrow.

  “We... He was good with his tongue...”

  “There it is.”

  “We never had sex!”

  “Eating out counts.”

  “Nuh uh! And neither does fellatio.”

  “Gods. You sure know how to make a blowjob sound unappealing.” Another shriek hit the door as the sound of something shattering followed. “Dear gods, I’m going to wring her scrawny neck.”

  “Hey! I’m kinda heartbroken here.”

  “No you’re not. Your eyes ain’t
even red. Well... I mean, you ain’t shown signs of crying. You look more pissed than anything.”

  “Rightfully so. I caught him and Tyrsa on his bed.”

  “That bitch.”

  “Right? What’d I ever do to her?”

  “Stole her man,” she said with air quotes.

  “What?”

  “She wanted Dmitri for so long, but wouldn’t act on it, ‘cause ‘she’s a lady.’ Ugh. I guess she got pissed, flashed him her tits, and got in his bed for revenge.”

  “Revenge? For taking what she wouldn’t?”

  “Bitches be crazy. Look, I need a smoke. Fucking Kiernan’s been at this for a goddamn cent,” she yelled at the door.

  “Illy! Language!” She heard Gwenyth’s muffled voice shout.

  “Come on.” She pulled a drawer out of her dresser, reached behind the drawers, and pulled out a pipe case and a bag of tobacco with a book of matches, shoved them in her cleavage, and walked out.

  “You always do this! You never let me go out, just ‘cause you don’t like my friends.”

  “Are you talking about that Barton boy?”

  “He was my soulmate, mum!”

  “Oh stuff it,” Illy said while passing, smacking her in the back of the head. “He was over thirty turns older than you and looked at you like meat.”

  “Screw you, Illy! You don’t understand!”

  Illy flipped her off as she walked out the door.

  “Thanks, Mrs. S! Looks great in here.”

  “Thanks, Rhia,” Gwen said defeatedly. “And I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that, Illune!”

  They heard shrieking as the door closed, persisting multiple buildings down. Illy pulled a pipe out of the case, attached a long churchwarden stem, loaded it, and stopped to lean against a building in the shade while she lit it.

  “I’ve just had kinda terrible luck with boys lately, Illy.”

  “Yeah, you’re telling me. I’ve been having horrible luck romantically.”

  “Well... You got kind of a special case.”

  “A special case,” she scoffed and chuckled, smoke puffing out of her mouth in spurts.

  “It’s just... since Brad and I broke up, everyone’s been terrible.”

  “Except Dmitri and his tongue.”

  “Shut up about it.” She blushed and looked away.

  “Hey, it’s a redeeming quality. I thought he was worthless scum. At least he’s got one applicable skill.”

  “Changing the subject, since I can’t get any sympathy out of you, how are you?”

  “Pounding headache from an overdose of booze last night compounded by my harpy of a sister, topped off with a dreadful lack of tobacco.”

  “Sounds brilliant.”

  “Yeah, top off with that my dad’s been an insufferable prick the last few weeks. Super commanding, all up in all of our faces about the stupidest shit. Granted, Keirnan and I have deserved it. I’m a rebellious bitch and she’s just a stupid spoiled bitch. He chewed out Aella the other dess for going to a game instead of temple. It’s the first temple she’s missed that I can think of. She’s usually super good about that kind of thing.”

  “Man, I dunno what to tell you.”

  “I keep sayin’ girlie. I wish I had your home life. I wish I did.”

  “It’s not all good over there.”

  “Yeah? A roomy house with no screaming sister, a mum that loves you, cares about you, that you can talk to about literally anything and she’s helpful and chill about it? Where you have a regular inflow of money, no want for food, the support network, free time, and skill to practice a vocation you chose? Where you can love who you want however you want with the support of your mum? Yeah, sounds horrible.”

  “Illy, please.” Tears welled up Rhia’s eyes a bit. “You know I feel like crap about it.”

  Illy sighed, puffed on her pipe, and slumped down the wall. “Sorry. I know you got guilt, I know you can’t control the dice you’re given, I know you can’t help depression, no matter your home. I just get... Ugh, I get so worked up, I get so fuckin’ frustrated. I swear to the gods, Rhi, I could just hop a wagon and disappear.”

  “You can’t do that; you know you can’t.”

  “Why couldn’t I?”

  “Well, you wouldn’t have me.”

  “You could come with me.”

  “You know I can’t. I got ties here, my mam, school...”

  “Still. I’m just so... so sick of everything here. This town, these people, my piece of shit dad and my worthless, spineless mum, my obnoxious goddamned sister, ugh. I can’t help it. Everything piles up and I just wanna get out, get away, as far as possible.”

  “Well then, I guess the only answer is we steal a wagon, ride to Setor Basdis, snag a boat to Antra, and live out our lives in Torgos.”

  “Exactly. I’ll work at the temple, you can make us a living as a bard, go to school in the meantime, end up curing scurvy or leprosy or something.”

  “I don’t think I’m good enough to make a living playing music, Illy.”

  “Bullocks! You’re brilliant. Plus, it’s a weird instrument with an elegant sound. You’ll make money on novelty alone.”

  “I guess,” she laughed.

  “And fuck it all, we’ll move out there, I’ll just marry you, take your name so I don’t have to hear ‘Serria’ ever again, and we’ll live happily ever after.”

  Rhia chuckled uncomfortably. “Illy... you know I’m straight.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Rhia. I was joking, but yes, I know you’re fucking straight. Gods, way to ruin the mood.”

  “I’m sorry, I just...”

  “Your mum doesn’t have a problem understanding.”

  “I understand, it’s just... You like girls, I’m a girl...”

  “And what, boys and girls can’t be friends? Platonic relationships can’t exist? I follow the ‘Bro Code,’ Rhi. Married woman? I don’t even look at her. Women that I know are straight? I don’t think about them that way.”

  “I’ve seen you ogle me a few times.”

  “Well sure, you’re hot after all.” Rhia blushed and turned away. “But I don’t think of you as even a possible prospective girlfriend. You’re not interested. Just ‘cause I know I can’t touch don’t mean I can’t look.” Rhia stayed silent. “For shit, Rhi. You wouldn’t be acting like this if I was straight.”

  “When a straight girl says I’m hot, it’s just a compliment. But you like girls...”

  “So it’s not a compliment anymore?”

  “Well, yeah, it is, it’s just... There’s implications.”

  “Am I hot?” Rhia looked up at Illy, quite the specimen of a young lady. She wore a shirt a size too small with breasts nearly the size of her head threatening to rend the fabric, her bra straining just as hard against the shirt, with tight leather pants. Her face was beyond gorgeous with four striking grey eyes, admittedly small horns (not a big deal in Rhia’s mind), and flowing red hair.

  “Of course you are, Illy. You’re beautiful, you know that.”

  “So why can’t I say that about you?”

  She stayed quiet for a short bit. “Because... I don’t know.”

  “I’ve always kinda hit on you, pointed out your hotness, you never had a problem with it ‘til I came out.”

  “Yeah, it’s cause I always thought you were joking. Now, I just think...”

  “What? What do you think?” Rhia just stared at her knees, pulling them into her chest. Illy sighed, puffed on the pipe, knocked it upside down on the dirt, dislodging a heap of ash, and set it aside. She breathed deep, and looked at Rhia. “Just say what’s on your mind. I promise I won’t freak out.”

  “But you have been...”

  “I know. I didn’t re
alize it, but now I do. I’m working to level my head, so talk, and I’ll talk rationally.”

  She sighed. “Well... It’s just... When you ‘hit on me’ before, it was like, ‘Oh, that kidder, Illy. What a joker.’ But now, I know you like girls, and it’s like... You tell me I’m hot, and I just think of... Like, I think about you wanting to have sex with me and stuff.”

  “What?” Illy was stuck between shock and almost amusement.

  “Like, you tell me I’m hot, I imagine you imagining me naked.”

  “When you tell me that a boy’s hot, are you picturing him naked?”

  “Welllll...” Her face brightened even more. “Maybe...”

  “Look, Rhi. You’re my best friend, I love you more than anyone in the world, you’ve always been there for me, you’re like a sister to me. I’m not gonna bullshit you. I don’t... really think of you that way. I can’t picture making out with...” Her words trailed off.

  “Illy?”

  “I... Sorry. I just... I mean, I’ve never thought of you that way, Rhi. I, sure, I’ve pictured you naked. I mean, I’ve seen you naked before. We’ve bathed together. Like I said, I can’t bullshit you. I got hormones, I got needs, and occasionally, yeah, I do think of you and... sex. But I’ve thought of everyone and sex. I’ve mentally fucked every girl in school; before I came to terms with myself, I’d imagined all the boys too. That don’t mean I wanna hold your hand and cuddle with you reading a book at night while you stroke my hair and tell me how beautiful I am. Hell, it doesn’t mean I want to fuck you. You’re my friend, I don’t wanna screw that up.”

  “But you just said you imagined—”

  “I said I pictured fucking everyone in school. You know what? I’ve also pictured killing every person in school with a wide variety of armaments. I’ve pictured stringing the guts of certain students in the streets. I’ve pictures robbing every store, and every room I walk into, I evaluate it as a holdout point in case of raiders. Does that mean I’m gonna go cutting heads off with a sword or disemboweling Tyrsa Karmath or stealing money from Old Lady Arbogast in the general store? No! I picture a lot of things. Don’t mean I wanna act on ‘em.”