Falling Into Darkness

by L. M. Brown

  “Not especially,” Ardat replied as she began applying her makeup.

  “But she’s your child,” Michael reminded her.

  “Yes, I know. I’ve just spent fourteen hours in labor, giving birth to her. I’ve done my part, now it’s your turn.”

  Ardat rose, gathered together her belongings, and took the items from one of the other angels, who had gone to get them from the bathroom for her. “I’ll leave you to it.”

  “Wait!” Michael grabbed her arm. “What about your daughter? You haven’t even told us her name.”

  “You can name her,” Ardat said. “I’m just relieved to be feeling my old self again. No more angelic influence over me, thank Lucifer.”

  “Don’t thank me for it,” Lucifer muttered.

  Ardat shrugged and strolled toward the door. “Farewell, lovers.”

  “She just walked out on her own child,” Michael said. “Doesn’t she care at all?”

  “She’s a demon,” Lucifer replied. “Now, have you decided what you’re going to do with the little bundle of joy?”

  Michael took the baby from the angel and gazed into the most perfect face he had ever seen. He smiled and the world seemed to fall away, until it was just him and his daughter.

  “You need to think of a name,” Lucifer said. “If you’re going to raise her yourself.”

  Michael sighed. “I wish I could, I really do, but we both know I can’t.”

  “What?”

  Michael didn’t blame Lucifer for being surprised. They had avoided the discussion about what would happen now for weeks. Raphael had stopped by a month before and confirmed Machidiel and his partners would be willing to raise the child. Which meant Michael had a choice, and it had proved to be the most difficult of his life.

  “If I give up my wings to raise her, I’ll be powerless to protect her from all the demons who want my head on a pike. We both know they would come for me as soon as word got out, and this sort of secret can’t be kept for long.”

  “Then you’re going to leave her in the care of Machidiel and the others?”

  “She’ll be safe there, and I’ll be keeping a close eye on her.”

  “And you’re happy with this decision?”

  “No, not entirely, but I’d never forgive myself if she were to be harmed because I was unable to protect her.”

  “Are you going to name her?” Lucifer asked.

  “I’ll let Machidiel and his partners choose her name. After all, they’ll be her parents. I’ll just be the doting uncle.”

  Lucifer leaned in close and brushed his hand over the baby’s head. “Do you think they’d object to a second uncle stopping by now and then?”

  “I’m sure they wouldn’t,” Michael replied with a smile. “Let’s take her to her new home.”

  * * * *

  “Are you sure about this?” Machidiel asked as he took the baby from Michael’s arms and placed her in the crib Lucifer had just conjured from thin air. Lucifer had decorated and furnished the nursery in a matter of seconds, and Michael had provided all the documentation the family would ever need to ensure the child was secure in her new home.

  Michael nodded, his eyes watery. He couldn’t speak, not yet.

  “She needs a name,” Lucifer said.

  “We’ve already decided on them,” Machidiel replied with a smile. “You know, just in case.”

  “Michelle Lucy,” Tristan said. “We thought her names should reflect her parentage, without being too obvious.”

  “I’m not one of her parents,” Lucifer pointed out.

  “Not biologically,” Tristan agreed, “but, as Michael’s partner, you’ll be playing just as big a role in her life as he will.”

  Michael nodded and rubbed his eyes. He wasn’t going to cry, not in front of everyone. “Take care of her, okay?”

  “She’ll want for nothing,” Machidiel assured him.

  Alastor and Tristan were already cooing over Michelle, and Michael could tell she was going to be spoiled by her three fathers.

  Lucifer took hold of his hand. “Are you okay?”

  Michael shook his head.

  “Home?”

  Michael nodded. He couldn’t hold it together much longer.

  “We’ll stop by later in the week to see how she’s doing,” Lucifer said.

  “You don’t want to stay a while?” Alastor asked.

  “Not tonight,” Lucifer replied. “I’m going to take Michael home.”

  Michael felt three sets of eyes focus on him and he made a concentrated effort not to break down. “I’ll see you soon,” he said.

  A moment later he collapsed in Lucifer’s arms and let his lover carry him to bed. He wept for a long time, but Lucifer held him throughout, murmuring soothing words into his ear and promising him things would work out in the end.

  Michael cried himself to sleep, hoping he had made the right decision but accepting he would never know for sure. No one could foretell the future, not even an archangel, and it was impossible to predict what might have happened had he made a different choice.

  * * * *

  Michael pulled himself together before he went to visit his daughter. The decision had been made and he had to trust he had made the right choice. Michelle would be loved by three caring men and watched over by an archangel and the most powerful demon of all.

  The first visit was the hardest, but as the weeks and months passed it became easier.

  Sometimes Lucifer joined him for the visits, and other times Gabriel and Raphael chose to accompany him. Mostly, Michael went alone.

  Every time Michael visited he made sure to keep a close eye out for any demons in the vicinity, searching with both his eyes and his powers. It was only because he was so vigilant that he noticed Ardat’s presence at all.

  Doubling back on his tracks he snuck up on Ardat before she was even aware of his presence.

  “Going somewhere?” he asked the demon casually.

  She tried to use her powers to depart, but Michael had already put her on lockdown. She wasn’t going anywhere until he allowed her to. His daughter lived just a few hundred yards away and her safety was his top priority.

  “You can’t keep me here forever,” Ardat snarled.

  “I don’t intend to,” Michael replied. “Just long enough for you to answer my questions. What are you doing here?”

  “Taking a walk through the city. Searching for someone to spend the night with. Are you volunteering?”

  “No, and I don’t believe you. What are you really doing here?”

  Ardat tilted her chin stubbornly before she apparently realized Michael had no intention of letting her go without hearing the truth. “I wanted to see her, okay?”

  “Why?”

  “Because she’s my daughter. What more reason do I need?”

  Michael snorted. “You weren’t so maternal the day she was born. You couldn’t get away from her fast enough. Why are you here now?”

  “Curiosity.”

  “Is that all?”

  “Isn’t it enough?”

  “Is anyone with you?” Michael asked. “Does anyone know you’re here? Were you followed?”

  Ardat laughed. “Aren’t we being just a little paranoid?”

  Michael grabbed the demon by the throat. “Answer the questions, or I swear you won’t live to see tomorrow.”

  “I’m alone,” Ardat wheezed and Michael eased up on the pressure. “I just wanted to see her. I wasn’t even going to talk to them, but they walk her through the park in the pushchair at this time.”

  “You’ve been spying on them?”

  “Yes.”

  “How did you find her?”

  “I’m her mother.”

  “That’s not an answer.”

  “I can find all of my children,” Ardat explained. “We share a bond that can never be broken.”

  Michael studied the demon for several long minutes. He could detect no signs she was lying to him, and gave every appearance of being here me
rely to see the daughter she had walked away from the day she had been born.

  “If you’re followed, you place her in danger.”

  “I’m not a fool,” Ardat snapped. “I’ve survived all these centuries by using the wits most demons don’t believe I possess. Her angelic aura is strong, and she is becoming more angel than demon.”

  “She’s being raised by a former angel,” Michael pointed out.

  “That would explain it.” Ardat hesitated. “Is she happy?”

  “She’s still a baby, but she seems to be.”

  “Good. Can I go now?”

  Michael nodded and released Ardat from the locks he had placed on her. She vanished immediately. He hoped she wasn’t looking to cause trouble, but he had to warn Machidiel and the others she was lurking around, just in case. He would also be monitoring the area even more closely himself.

  * * * *

  Once he had discovered Ardat was in the area, Michael found her watching Michelle and her parents more and more frequently. She was always alone and never came too close to the villa. Michael sometimes observed her from the pool of visions as well, and when he did, he felt more reassured as to her intentions. If she planned on doing anything untoward, she could easily try to do so when he wasn’t a physical presence on Earth, standing in her way.

  “Maybe she’s rediscovered her maternal instincts?” Gabriel suggested.

  “Perhaps, but I don’t like this uncertainty.”

  “Unfortunately, we can’t stop her from spying. She’s right about the bond that ties her to her children. Wherever her daughter is, Ardat will find her.”

  “I guess we’ll just have to keep a close watch on her.”

  “We already are.” Gabriel patted Michael on the shoulder. “Try not to worry so much. Your daughter is healthy, well loved, and you get to see her frequently.”

  “I know. I just don’t trust Ardat not to have another agenda.”

  “She’s a demon. She probably has a dozen different plots going at any given time. All we can do is prepare for whatever she and the rest of her kind throw at us.”

  Michael nodded. Gabriel was right. He had to stop worrying and trust they had all done enough to keep his daughter safe.

  Still, the longer Ardat watched over her child, the more Michael wondered if she regretted her decision to walk out of her life. If she truly had no agenda, her actions now showed a great deal of fondness, maybe even love, for her daughter. Any demon who could love another and put their safety and happiness before their own could be saved. Had he given up on Ardat too soon?

  * * * *

  “Ardat was watching Michelle again today,” Michael commented to Lucifer, curious to hear his lover’s thoughts on the behavior of the demon.

  “If you’re asking me to stop her, I can’t, not without imprisoning her in the Underworld, and while her presence might be concerning, it doesn’t warrant confinement.”

  “I’m not asking you to do that. I thought perhaps her affection for Michelle might be a sign of her stepping toward the light. Maybe I should have tried harder to save her.”

  Lucifer roared with laughter until tears ran from his eyes and he wheezed so badly, if he were human, passersby might have thought he required medical attention.

  “It wasn’t that funny,” Michael huffed. “I really do think her behavior is because she cares.”

  “Ardat cares about no one except herself,” Lucifer replied. “She would throw Irdu to the lions to save her own skin, and they’ve been lovers for centuries.”

  “Then why do you think she’s watching her?”

  “Curiosity, and to keep tabs on her, ready for when she comes into her powers.”

  “Her angelic powers are already beginning to develop,” Michael said.

  “They are?”

  Michael nodded. At three years old, his daughter already had the power to heal herself, though she wasn’t old enough to realize the importance of what she did.

  “It’s probably her demonic powers that interest Ardat,” Lucifer commented. “And those won’t appear for at least a decade.”

  “If that’s all Ardat is hovering around for, maybe she’ll get bored before then and leave her be.”

  “Ardat is a demon and she’s an expert at playing the waiting game. When Michelle’s powers appear, she’ll be ready.”

  Michael didn’t like the sound of that, but there was nothing he could do. Lucifer might be convinced to confine Ardat to the Underworld, but Michael didn’t want them to go to such an extreme unless Michelle’s safety deemed it absolutely necessary. Perhaps it would be best to bide their time and wait until Ardat revealed her true purpose.

  Later that night Michael thought back on Lucifer’s words. He had a feeling Ardat wasn’t the only demon playing the waiting game. Lucifer was too. Despite Michael’s insistence he wouldn’t fall from grace, he knew Lucifer still hoped he would. Yes, demons were good at waiting, and Lucifer was the expert.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Michelle grew up with three doting fathers, as well as her devoted Uncle Michael and Uncle Luc. They had decided that introducing Lucifer by his full name might not be the best of ideas. It might raise a few awkward questions.

  Michael spent a lot of time on Earth, visiting his daughter every day he could manage. Lucifer came with him once or twice a month, and even Gabriel and Raphael had stopped by to see the youngster on special occasions. Michael adored his little girl, and if his heart ached when she spoke her first word of “Dada” to Tristan, he tried not to let it show.

  The years passed and Michelle’s angelic powers grew with her. She healed fast, a little too quickly for a human, but hadn’t suffered any serious injuries that would make it obvious. She was a natural healer, something that delighted Machidiel, who worked at the local hospital. He confided his hopes she would one day follow in his footsteps. She also had the ability to calm people with her touch, though she probably had no idea she was even doing it.

  Her demon heritage couldn’t be denied forever, though, and at fifteen years old the young beauty had a trail of young boys, and more than a few girls, following her around like a gaggle of geese.

  Michael knew his daughter’s other powers would manifest soon and the talk he had been dreading could no longer be put off. They had to tell her the truth about her parents.

  Sitting in Machidiel’s lounge, Michael fidgeted nervously, and even Lucifer seemed more on edge than usual.

  “Maybe we should wait a little longer,” Michael suggested. “Doesn’t she have exams soon? We shouldn’t distract her from those.”

  “Her exams aren’t for a while yet,” Tristan said. “And is there ever going to be a perfect time for this discussion?”

  “She already knows she’s adopted,” Alastor pointed out. “We’ve always been honest with her about that, not that you can really hide the fact when you’re being raised by three men and not a woman in sight. Besides, sooner or later she’ll notice the two of you don’t age.”

  “I’m surprised she hasn’t already,” Tristan admitted.

  “It’s the otherworldly stuff I’m worried about,” Michael said. “Not to mention telling her I’m her father.”

  Lucifer chuckled. “If she gets angry about that, just tell her who I am and that should be enough to take the heat off you.”

  “Not helping,” Michael muttered.

  Lucifer pulled Michael into his side and put his arm around his shoulders. “Stop worrying so much. Michelle adores you even more than the men who raised her, because you let her get away with far more than they do, and spoil her rotten.”

  “Here she comes,” Alastor said with a nod to the window.

  Sure enough Michelle headed toward the front door, and she didn’t seem to be in the best of moods. The door slammed behind her, rattling the glass.

  “In here, now,” Machidiel called.

  Michelle appeared in the lounge entrance, a sulky expression on her face.

  “What did we say about slammi
ng doors?” Machidiel asked.

  “I’m not to take my temper out on inanimate objects,” Michelle recited, as though she had repeated the words several times before.

  “Then don’t,” Machidiel said. “If we have a problem we discuss it and deal, okay?”

  Michelle nodded.

  “So, what’s happened?” Tristan asked.

  “Paulo was being a jerk again,” Michelle said.

  “Who’s Paulo?” Lucifer asked.

  Michelle looked in their direction and her face lit up. “Uncle Luc, Uncle Michael! I didn’t know you were visiting today.” Michelle tossed her bag onto the floor and ran across the room, launching herself into Lucifer’s lap, kissing him on the cheek, then turning to Michael and doing the same. “I’ve not seen you in ages.”

  “You saw us just last week,” Michael pointed out with a chuckle.

  “Exactly, that’s like a lifetime ago.”

  “So, who’s Paulo?” Lucifer repeated.

  “Just a boy at school,” Michelle replied. “He’s not even worth talking about. He’s an idiot.”

  “Then why let him upset you?” Michael asked.

  Michelle’s reply was a typical teenage response. “He just does.”

  “What has he done now?” Alastor asked.

  “He said you were all going to go to Hell,” Michelle muttered. “His uncle’s a priest and he’s been giving sermons about the evils of being gay.”

  Lucifer snorted. “I’d love to know who started all these rumors about homosexuals going to Hell.”

  “Paulo said it’s the word of God,” Michelle said.

  “It’s not,” Michael told her firmly. “No one is going to Hell because of who they love. You can take my word for it.”

  Michelle didn’t seem convinced. “Since you haven’t died, you can’t know for sure.”

  “No, I’ve not died, but you can trust me on this one.”

  “Michelle,” Machidiel said as he walked across the room then crouched in front of the sofa. “I’m not going to Hell, and neither is anyone else in this room.” His gaze flickered to Lucifer, who tried to smother his smile but wasn’t quite quick enough.