Love Again

by Christina Marie

“Wow! So, now what?”

  “Well, your divorce will be finalized within the next twenty four hours and you can take back your maiden name. The judge set his bond and fourteen million, his parents refuse to pay it they said he can learn his lesson the hard way.”

  That bit of information shocked me, his parents had always helped him out before. “Do I have to come back for anything?”

  “I will keep you up to date on everything, he will also be charged for everything he did to you.”

  “Thank you.” I wiped my eyes. “Thank you for finding him.”

  “I made a promise to you that we would, he made it hard for us at first but then he got cocky.”

  I wiped my eyes and laughed softly, “I need to go, thank you for calling.”

  “Take care of yourself Lennie I’ll keep in touch with you.”

  After the call ended I started crying--tears of relief, then I called my dad.

  “Did Jen’s car run out of fuel? I’m always telling her…”

  I interrupted him, “They found Justin! He was arrested last night!”

  “Holy shit, really? Where are you at? Do I need to come get you?” He asked rapidly.

  “No…no, I’m going to work. I just wanted to call you and tell you that Detective Bison called me.” I wiped my face.

  “I’m so glad.” Dad breathed out with a sigh. “I love you, I’ll see you later.”

  “Love you too.”

  I walked in to the school and went straight for the bathroom, I knew that my makeup was a mess and wanted to fix it before the day started.

  “Lennnniee!” my good friend Jadra said as she walked around the partition where the sinks were. I had became good friends with several of the other teachers, having friends again was a huge step in my recovery. “Oh god, what’s wrong?” She asked when I turned toward her.

  When I told her about the call from Bison her eyes got big, “I can’t even begin to tell you how big of a relief it is knowing he’s in jail.” I told her.

  “That’s great!” she hugged me.

  “Do you feel up to going out and having drink with some of us this evening?”

  I smiled, “I think I’d like that.”

  She jumped up and down then pulled me into a hug, “You’re doing such a good job. I’m always here for you.”

  I didn’t want to cry anymore, “Thank you.” I squeezed her tight before we released each other.

  It was amazing how good news changed my level of security and confidence in just the matter of a few minutes.

  Lennie had left and crushed my heart when she did.

  I had begged her step mom to let me see her but she wouldn’t let me because Lennie told her not to let me in. I was being punished because of Justin’s actions and it was pissing me off.

  I wrote her a letter and gave it to Corrina, we had become very good friends throughout all of this. If it wasn’t for her and Trevor I would have probably been thrown in jail for breaking into Lennie’s house.

  “Did you give it to her?” I asked when Corrina called.

  “Yes,” she sniffled. “Let’s all go out for a drink, I can’t sit at home and cry about this another minute. My best friend just left me and I don’t know when I’ll have time to go see her.”

  We hung up and I called Trevor, once we agreed on a time I sent Corrina a text letting her know what time I would be at Trevor’s apartment.

  The Glo was busy as usual but we decided to sit on the second floor and drink, it was quieter up there and I didn’t have to worry about people interrupting my sulking for a picture or autograph.

  “Do you think she’ll be okay?” Corrina asked.

  “In time, I just wish she would still talk to me.” I said and took my first shot of fireball.

  “Are you going to be okay?” Trevor asked and pinned me with a look.

  I shrugged, “I can honestly tell you I’ve never had my heart ripped to shreds before and don’t recommend it to anybody. What Ava did to me doesn’t even compare to how bad this hurts.”

  The more we talked about Lennie the more pissed off I was getting, “I know you don’t want to hear this Dom, but, just give her time.” Trevor said.

  I stood up and slammed my hands down on the table, “I’m fucking tired of hearing that! I didn’t do anything but fucking love her and I’m the one that gets pushed away. All I want to do is fucking help her and show her that I’m so in love with her that the pain she’s feeling I’m feeling to!” I stormed away from the table and down the stairs. Obviously it was a bad idea for me to come out. Numerous women pawed at me and grabbed me trying to pull me to the dance floor, for the first time in a long time I shook them off. None of them were the woman I wanted.

  ~~~~~~

  I would be lying if I said I didn’t stalk Lennie’s social media pages, she hadn’t posted an update since before she found out about Justin having an affair with Jill. I tried calling her phone but she had changed her number shortly after she moved. On a few occasions I tried to guess Corrina’s lock code on her phone and ended up locking her out of her own phone. “I’ve talked to her and she’s doing better Dominique, when she’s ready to talk to you she will. She’s asked about you so I know she cares.” Corrina yanked her phone out of my hand.

  The only thing keeping my mind occupied was work and the youth football teams. I made sure to keep a close watch on all the young athletes and their schoolwork. If they needed extra help in school I made sure they got it.

  Ava had found some other sucker to sink her claws into, I laughed out loud when she sent me a wedding invitation. “Must be a keeper.” I said to myself.

  Trevor and Corrina both tried to set me up on blind dates, they all ended with me being annoyed, paying the bill and calling a cab for the woman. It wasn’t because they weren’t beautiful, because they all were. One of them clearly thought I was her golden ticket to a modeling career and one of the other women was too hands on under the table.

  “It’s been quite a few months, you can’t tell me that you haven’t bedded down with anybody.” Trevor said between punches on the punching bag.

  “The opportunity has been there but I can’t do it.” I told him.

  He stopped punching, “You need to move on man, I know you keep holding out hope but just try. You might be passing up the perfect woman.”

  Maybe he was right, “I’ll keep myself more open, I’ll find the right one in time. You and Corrina really suck at playing match maker.”

  Trevor snorted, “The fuck if we do, you’re just a picky little bitch.”

  I rolled my eyes and flipped him off.

  (Three Months Later)

  I didn’t realize how hard it would be to move on, I compared every single woman to Lennie.

  Hannah and I met in Texas when we did a photo shoot together for a sports drink I endorsed. Over the weeks we talked to each other on the phone and text each other throughout the day. I finally got the nerve up to ask her if she would like to come visit for a weekend. Hannah was a very down to earth, happy woman. She had her own goals and expectations in life set but knew how to have fun too.

  “This place is beautiful!” she gasped when she walked through the doors of my home.

  I smiled, “Thank You.”

  She turned around and hugged me, “I can’t believe we get to spend a weekend together.”

  I took a deep breath and blew it out, “It’s always good to have some down time.” I kissed her cheek then stepped away from her. The look on her face told me, this weekend wasn’t going to be easy for me.

  “So, I know you’re not gay,” she smiled at me. “I know why things ended between you and Ava.” I nodded my head and waited for her to continue. “What I don’t know is why you are so closed off. I was hoping this weekend we could actually get to know each other a little more, if you know what I mean, but I can tell that you’re not going to let that happen.”

  We had finished our supper and moved to the living room, she tucked her long legs under her and si
pped her wine while she waited for me to answer her.

  “Well,” I cleared my throat and took a drink of beer before I started telling her all about my relationship with Lennie.

  I felt like I had been talking non-stop for hours by the time I was finished.

  Hannah refilled her wine glass, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard such a heart wrenching story in my life. You still love this Lennie, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I do. I’m trying to move on. I haven’t talked to her in over a year.”

  “Wow,” she whispered. “So this thing between me and you…is it a rebound?”

  I turned toward her, “I don’t like the way that sounds. I do like you, I want to get to know you better. I just don’t know if falling in love will be very easy for me, again.”

  She smiled, “Love isn’t easy, if we have to take things really slow I’m fine with that. If we end up just being friends, I’m fine with that too.”

  We spent the rest of the evening talking about her family and I told her about my childhood. When she yawned I looked at my watch, it was two in the morning. “Show me to my room, I’m drunk and you aren’t ready for what I have in mind.”

  I laughed, “I’ll get there eventually.”

  “No hurry stud muffin. I’m a friend until you are ready to cross that line.”

  We spent the weekend sight seeing around Chicago, went to a baseball game, then to a movie. For the first time in a long time I actually enjoyed myself.

  It was after midnight when we got back to my place, with the beers I had drank the buzz that I had going on made me, well honestly, horny as hell. Hannah turned up her seduction a few notches and started to strip out of her clothes the very second we walked in to my house.

  “We’re both a little tipsy maybe I should put these back on?” she slid the tiny denim shorts she was wearing down her long legs and kicked them to the side.

  I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it the same direction as her shorts, “Only if you want to.” I said with a grin. Next she slowly peeled her tank top off, she was now walking backwards toward the pool.

  “You have to do the rest of the work!” she smiled at me and motioned me closer with a crook of her finger.

  I was just about to unbutton my pants when suddenly two heads popped up to the surface and gasped for air. Hannah jumped and screamed, Trevor and Corrina were in the pool. “Whoopi.” Corrina said and ducked back underwater.

  I pulled Hanna to stand behind me, “Get the fuck out of there before I jump in and actually drowned you!” I yelled at Trevor that was staring at me with big eyes.

  “I…we didn’t know you had company!” He yelled back, his voice higher than usual.

  “Get Corrina, where the fuck is she?” I looked around.

  She was climbing out of the pool, outside. “CORRINA!” I yelled.

  Her shoulders sagged, she wrapped a towel around herself then took baby steps to the back door and waited for me to open it.

  “No, hell no, fuck you. Swim back in here!” I glared at her.

  Like a child being scolded she dropped the towel and literally flopped back into the pool very dramatically.

  At some point Hannah had put her clothes back on, when Trevor and Corrina were finally out of the pool and I was sure I wasn’t going to throat punch Trevor. I introduced them both to Hannah.

  I was worried about Corrina not liking Hannah, but that wasn’t the case. They sat on the couch and gossiped like old friends, while Trevor and I sat in the kitchen and talked.

  “I swear to God man, I had no idea you had company. I must say…”

  I shook my head, “Don’t even go there. How the fuck did you get in here?”

  He laughed, “That’s a secret.”

  “I have security cameras.” I argued.

  “Fine, but you can’t fire Iris.”

  I knew it was her, she had always said how cute and sexy Trevor was, “Dude she’s like sixty, you didn’t do a sexual favor did you?”

  “Gross! No!”

  Corrina and Hannah walked into the kitchen, “It wasn’t a sexual favor technically, she wanted to touch his naked ass and spank it. I’m pretty sure he liked it.” Corrina told me.

  “Why are we even friends?” he asked Corrina.

  “I ask myself that at least…twenty times a day, Trevor.” She smiled sweetly at him before flipping him off.

  “You and You,” I pointed at Trevor and Corrina, “go the hell away.” I pointed at the front door.

  I was determined to have some one on one time with Hannah.

  “Later, call me tomorrow.” Trevor yelled over his shoulder as he pulled Corrina beside him.

  Hannah looked back at me, “They aren’t dating?”

  “Nope, I think they might kill each other if they had a relationship.” I took a step toward her and placed my hands on her hips. She slid her hands up my chest and linked her fingers behind my head.

  “Not to be a Debbie downer but I’m actually too tired and my flight leaves early in the morning.”

  That night was the first night Hannah slept in the bed with me, nothing happened between us, but I could feel myself wanting to move on and try a relationship with her.

  After almost two years of seeing Doctor Brenton I felt like my life was finally starting to get back on track. I moved out from my dad’s house and rented an apartment. The security was excellent and it was in a gated community of it’s own.

  I still volunteered at the youth center and was still a part time Para professional at the school. The kids were a huge help in my recovery, they reminded me every single day how precious life is.

  Corrina would visit me when she had time, with the museum in full swing and her modeling jobs increasing. She was busier than before.

  One evening while we were out eating supper she was telling me funny stories about her and Trevor. They weren’t dating, she said didn’t want to date anybody until life slowed down for her. “So one night we decided to sneak into Dominque’s…” she pinched her eyes shut and stopped talking. “Sorry.” She said.

  “Finish the story!” I insisted.

  “No,” she shook her head. “It’s not that funny.”

  “Corrina, Dominique isn’t the one that caused me any pain. It’s okay to talk about him.”

  She looked up at me, “You have no idea how hard he’s tried to move on, Lennie. He didn’t do anything to you, but you ripped his heart out. I still don’t understand why you cut him off, why you couldn’t just talk to him.”

  My mouth fell open, Corrina had never once talked to me like that. “I…” I wasn’t sure what to even say. Corrina stood up from out table and walked out of the restaurant. It was pouring down rain when I got out there.

  “What are you doing?” I yelled and wrapped my coat around myself. I stood under the awning and tried to get Corrina to move under it.

  “He loves you so much, STILL, after you pushed him away. He still loves you! He’s got a girlfriend you know? Hannah, they’ve been together for about six months and still have yet to have sex. He’s kissed her but won’t take things any further with her. Why can’t you just call him? Tell him it’s okay to move on, that you don’t love him?” Her mascara was running down her face and tears filled her eyes. “I love you to death Lennie and so does he. Don’t you think he deserves a simple phone call? Did you ever read his letter?”

  “What fucking letter?” I asked.

  She gave me a look that I knew was her ‘are you serious’ look, “The one I put in your purse the day you left!” She threw her hands in the air and slapped them down on her waist. “You never read it, did you?”

  “I forgot about it!” I said with hot tears falling down my face.

  Corrina hugged me, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I just had to get it off my chest. Please don’t hate me.”

  I could never hate her, “I’m such a horrible person.”

  Corrina pulled away from the hug, “Stop it! Don’t say that ever again. I should have neve
r said anything.”

  She raised her hand for a cab, inside the both of us shivered all the way to my apartment. “Do you hate me?” she asked.

  “No, I just don’t know what to do. I can’t just call him.”

  “Do you know where it’s at, the letter?” she asked.

  I shook my head, “I’ll have to look for it.”

  The rest of the ride was filled with silence. I was lost in my own thoughts, thoughts of Dominique and how much he probably hated me.

  Corrina paid the driver then we went inside, “Get some rest, look for it tomorrow his number hasn’t changed. I never gave him your new number, trust me he tried numerous times to get into my phone.”

  We both laughed a slight laugh. “I’m going to go shower, what time does your flight leave in the morning?”

  “I have to be there at eight. You get some rest and call me tomorrow, okay?”

  I nodded, “I love you so much.” I hugged her tighter than I ever had.

  “I love you too, I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. When you smile, I can tell that you’re truly happy.”

  ~~~~~~

  The following day I tore through box after box for that white envelope. “Ahh, where could it be?” I said out loud to myself. “You really need to unpack the rest of that stuff too.” I continued to talk to myself. My bedroom looked like the Tasmanian devil had ripped through it, I stood in the middle of the room my arms crossed over my chest and one hand rested under my chin. I tapped my lips trying to think of where else it could possibly be. Then it hit me, I still had a couple of boxes in the closet at my dads house. I ran out of the room and through my apartment, grabbed my keys out of the basket on the island in the kitchen and hurried down to my car.

  Dad and Jennifer were sitting on their front porch drinking coffee and reading the newspaper when I showed up. I gave them each a quick hello as I ran into the house and upstairs. I dropped to my knees and lifted the bed skirt up but the boxes were no longer under there so I walked over to the closet. They were stacked neatly in the back. I ripped the lid off of one and dumped everything out, when I didn’t find I grabbed the other one and did the same thing. The last thing to fall out was the envelope.