Volpone and Other Plays
Page 24
This lip, that chin! Methinks you do resemble
One o’ the Austriac princes.
FACE [aside]: Very like!
Her father was an Irish costermonger.
MAMMON: The house of Valois just had such a nose,
And such a forehead yet the Medici
Of Florence boast.
60 DOL COMMON: Troth, and I have been lik’ ned To all these princes.
FACE [aside]: I’ll be sworn, I heard it
MAMMON: I know not how! it is not any one, But e’ en the very choice of all their features.
FACE [aside]: I’ll in, and laugh.
[Exit.]
MAMMON: A certain touch, or air,
That sparkles a divinity beyond
An earthly beauty!
DOL COMMON: O, you play the courtier.
MAMMON: Good lady, gi’ me leave –
DOL COMMON: In faith, I may not, To mock me, sir.
MAMMON: To burn i’ this sweet flame;
The phoenix never knew a nobler death.
70 DOL COMMON: Nay, now you court the courtier, and destroy What you would build. This art, sir, i’ your words, Calls your whole faith in question.
MAMMON: By my soul –
DOL COMMON: Nay, oaths are made o’ the same air, sir.
MAMMON: Nature
Never bestowed upon mortality
A more unblamed, a more harmonious feature;
She played the step-dame in all faces else.
Sweet madam, le’ me be particular –
DOL COMMON: Particular, sir! I pray you, know your distance.
MAMMON: In no ill sense, sweet lady, but to ask
80 How your fair graces pass the hours? I see
Y’ are lodged here, i’ the house of a rare man,
An excellent artist; but what’s that to you?
DOL COMMON: Yes, sir. I study here the mathematics, And distillation.
MAMMON: O, I cry your pardon.
He’s a divine instructor! can extract
The souls of all thing by his art; call all
The virtues and the miracles of the sun
Into a temperate furnace; teach dull nature
What her own forces are. A man, the Emp’ ror
90 Has courted above Kelly; sent his medals
And chains t’ invite him.
DOL COMMON: Ay, and for his physic, sir –
MAMMON: Above the art of Æsculapius,
That drew the envy of the Thunderer!
I know all this, and more.
DOL COMMON: Troth, I am taken, sir,
Whole with these studies that contemplate nature.
MAMMON: It is a noble humour. But this form
Was not intended to so dark a use.
Had you been crooked, foul, of some coarse mould,
A cloister had done well; but such a feature,
100 That might stand up the glory of a kingdom,
To live recluse is a mere solecism,
Though in a nunnery. It must not be.
I muse, my Lord your brother will permit it!
You should spend half my land first, were I he.
Does not this diamond better on my finger
Than i’ the quarry?
DOL COMMON: Yes.
MAMMON: Why, you are like it
You were created, lady, for the light.
Here, you shall wear it; take it, the first pledge
Of what I speak, to bind you to believe me.
DOL COMMON: In chains of adamant?
110 MAMMON: Yes, the strongest bands.
And take a secret, too: here, by your side,
Doth stand this hour the happiest man in Europe.
DOL COMMON: You are contented, sir?
MAMMON: Nay, in true being,
The envy of princes and the fear of states.
DOL COMMON: Say you so, Sir Epicure?
MAMMON: Yes, and thou shalt
prove it,
Daughter of honour. I have cast mine eye
Upon thy form, and I will rear this beauty
Above all styles.
DOL COMMON: You mean no treason, sir?
MAMMON: No, I will take away that jealousy.
120 I am the lord of the Philosopher’s Stone,
And thou the lady.
DOL COMMON: How, sir! ha’ you that?
MAMMON: I am the master of the mastery.
This day the good old wretch here o’ the house
Has made it for us. Now he’s at projection.
Think therefore thy first wish now, let me hear it;
And it shall rain into thy lap, no shower,
But floods of gold, whole cataracts, a deluge,
To get a nation on thee.
DOL COMMON: You are pleased, sir,
To work on the ambition of our sex.
130 MAMMON: I’ m pleased the glory of her sex should know,
This nook here of the Friars is no climate
For her to live obscurely in, to learn
Physic and surgery, for the constable’s wife
Of some odd hundred in Essex; but come forth,
And taste the air of palaces; eat, drink
The toils of emp’ rics, and their boasted practice;
Tincture of pearl, and coral, gold, and amber;
Be seen at feasts and triumphs; have it asked,
What miracle she is; set all the eyes
140 Of court a-fire, like a burning-glass,
And work ’em into cinders, when the jewels
Of twenty states adorn thee, and the light
Strikes out the stars; that, when thy name is mentioned,
Queens may look pale; and, we but showing our love,
Nero’s Poppæa may be lost in story!
Thus will we have it.
DOL COMMON: I could well consent, sir.
But in a monarchy, how will this be?
The Prince will soon take notice, and both seize
You and your Stone, it being a wealth unfit
150 For any private subject.
MAMMON: If he knew it.
DOL COMMON: Yourself do boast it, sir.
MAMMON: To thee, my life.
DOL COMMON: O, but beware, sir! You may come to end
The remnant of your days in a loathed prison,
By speaking of it.
MAMMON: ’Tis no idle fear!
We’ll therefore go with all, my girl, and live
In a free state, where we will eat our mullets,
Soused in high-country wines, sup pheasants’ eggs,
And have our cockles boiled in silver shells;
Our shrimps to swim again, as when they lived,
160 In a rare butter made of dolphins’ milk,
Whose cream does look like opals; and with these
Delicate meats set ourselves high for pleasure,
And take us down again, and then renew
Our youth and strength with drinking the elixir,
And so enjoy a perpetuity
Of life and lust! And thou shalt ha’ thy wardrobe
Richer than Nature’s, still to change thyself,
And vary oft’ner for thy pride than she,
Or Art, her wise and almost-equal servant.
[Enter FACE.]
170 FACE: sir, you are too loud. I hear you, every word,
Into the laboratory. Some fitter place –
The garden, or great chamber above. [Aside] How like you her?
MAMMON: Excellent, Lungs! There’s for thee.
[Gives him money.]
FACE: But do you hear?
Good sir, beware, no mention of the rabbins.
MAMMON: We think not on ’em.
FACE: O, it is well, sir.
[Exeunt MAMMON and DOL.]
– Subtle!
IV, ii [Enter SUBTLE.]
Dost thou not laugh?
SUBTLE: Yes. Are they gone?
FACE: All’s clear.
SUBTLE: The widow is come.
>
FACE: And your quarrelling disciple?.
SUBTLE: Ay.
FACE: I must to my Captainship again then.
SUBTLE: Stay, bring ’em in first.
FACE: So I meant. What is she?
A bonnibel?
SUBTLE: I know not.
FACE: We’ll draw lots;
You’ll stand to that?
SUBTLE: What else?
FACE: O, for a suit,
To fall now like a curtain, flap!
SUBTLE: To th’ door, man.
FACE: You’ll ha’ the first kiss, ’ cause I am not ready.
[Exit.]
SUBTLE: Yes, and perhaps hit you through both the nostrils.
10 FACE [within]: Who would you speak with?
KASTRIL [within]: Where’s the Captain?
FACE [within]: Gone, sir,
About some business.
KASTRIL [within]: Gone!
FACE [within]: He’ll return straight.
But Master Doctor, his lieutenant, is here.
[Enter KASTRIL followed by DAME PLIANT.]
SUBTLE: Come near, my Worshipful boy, my terree fili,
That is, my boy of land; make thy approaches.
Welcome; I know thy lusts and thy desires,
And I will serve and satisfy ’em. Begin,
Charge me from thence, or thence, or in this line;
Here is my centre: ground thy quarrel.
KASTRIL: You lie.
SUBTLE: How, child of wrath and anger! the loud lie?
20 For what, my sudden boy?
KASTRIL: Nay, that look you to,
I am aforehand.
SUBTLE: O, this’s no true grammar,
And as ill logic! You must render causes, child,
Your first and second intentions, know your canons
And your divisions, moods, degrees, and differences,
Your predicaments, substance, and accident,
Series extern and intern, with their causes
Efficient, material, formal, final,
And ha’ your elements perfect –
KASTRIL: What is this?
The angry tongue he talks in?
SUBTLE: That false precept,
30 Of being aforehand, has deceived a number,
And made ’em enter quarrels oftentimes
Before they were aware; and afterward,
Against their wills.
KASTSIL: How must I do then, sir?
SUBTLE: I Cry this lady mercy; she should first
Have been saluted. I do call you lady,
Because you are to be one ere’t be long,
My soft and buxom widow.
He kisses her.
KASTRIL: Is she, i’ faith?
SUBTLE: Yes, or my art is an egregious liar.
KASTRIL: How know you?
SUBTLE: By inspection on her forehead,
40 And subtlety of her lip, which must be tasted
Often to make a judgement.
He kisses her again.
’Slight, she melts
Like a myrobolane. Here is yet a line,
In rivo frontis, tells me he is no knight.
DAME PLIANT: What is he then, sir?
SUBTLE: Let me see your hand.
O, your linea fortunœ makes it plain;
And Stella here in monte Veneris.
But, most of all, junctura annularis.
He is a soldier, or a man of art, lady,
But shall have some great honour shortly,
DAME PLIANT: Brother,
He’s a rare man, believe me!
[Re-enter FACE, in his Captain’s uniform.]
50 KASTRIL: Hold your peace.
Here comes the t’ other rare man. – ’Save you, Captain.
FACE: Good master Kastril! Is this your sister?
KASTRIL: Ay, sir.
Please you to kuss her, and be proud to know her.
FACE: I shall be proud to know you, lady.
[Kisses her.]
DAME PLIANT: Brother,
He calls me lady, too.
KASTRIL: Ay, peace; I heard it
FACE [aside to SUBTLE]: The Count is come.
SUBTLE [aside to FACE]: Where is he?
FACE [aside]: At the door.
SUBTLE [aside]: Why, you must entertain him.
FACE [aside]: What’ll you do
With these the while?
SUBTLE [aside]: Why, have ’em up, and show ’em
Some fustian book, or the dark glass.
FACE [aside]: ’Fore God,
60 She is a delicate dabchick! I must have her.
[Exit.]
SUBTLE [aside]: Must you! Ay, if your fortune will, you must. –
Come, sir, the captain will come to us presently.
I’ll ha’ you to my chamber of demonstrations,
where I’ll show you both the grammar and logic
And rhetoric of quarrelling, my whole method
Drawn out in tables; and my instrument,
That hath the several scale upon’t shall make you
Able to quarrel at a straw’s-breadth by moonlight.
And, lady, I’ll have you look in a glass,
70 Some half an hour, but to clear your eyesight,
Against you see your fortune; which is greater
Than I may judge upon the sudden, trust me.
[Exit, followed by KASTRIL and DAME PLIANT.]
IV III [Entet FACE.]
[FACE:] Where are you, Doctor?
SUBTLE [within]: I’ll come to you presently.
FACE: I will ha’ this same widow, now I ha’ seen her, On any composition.
[Enter SUBTLE.]
SUBTLE: What do you say?
FACE: Ha’ you disposed of them?
SUBTLE: I ha’ sent ’em up.
FACE: Subtle, in troth, I needs must have this widow.
SUBTLE: Is that the matter?
FACE: Nay, but hear me.
SUBTLE: Go to.
If you rebel once, Dol shall know it all.
Therefore be quiet, and obey your chance.
FACE: Nay, thou art so violent now. Do but conceive,
Thou art old, and canst not serve–
10 SUBTLE: Who cannot? I?
’Slight, I will serve her with thee, for a –
FACE: Nay,
But understand; I’ll gi’ you composition.
SUBTLE: I will not treat with thee. What! sell my fortune?
’This better than my birthright. Do not murmur.
Win her, and carry her. If you grumble, Dol
Knows it directly.
FACE: Well, sir, I am silent.
Will you go help to fetch in Don, in state?
[Exit.]
SUBTLE: I follow you, sir. We must keep Face in awe,
Or he will overlook us like a tyrant.
[Re-enter FACE, with SURLY, disguised as a Spanish nobleman.]
Brain of a tailor! who comes here? Don John! 20
SURLY: Señores, beso las manos à vuestras mercedes.
SUBTLE: Would you had stooped a little, and kissed our anos.
FACE: Peace, Subtle!
SUBTLE: stab me; I shall never hold, man.
He looks in that deep ruff like a head in a platter,
Served in by a short cloak upon two treastles.
FACE: Or what do you say to a collar of brawn, cut down
Beneath the souse, and wriggled with a Knife?
SUBTLE: ’Slud, he does look too fat to be a Spaniard.
FACE: Perhaps some Fleming or some Hollander got him
30 In d’Alva’s time; Count Egmont’s bastard.
SUBTLE: Don,
Your scurvy, yellow, Madrid face is welcome.
SURLY: Gratia.
SUBTLE: He speaks out of a fortification.
Pray God he ha’ no squibs in those deeps sets.
SURLY: Por dios, señores, muy linda casa!
SUBTLE: What says he?
FACE: Praises the house, I
think;
I know no more but’s action.
SUBTLE: Yes, the casa,
My precious Thego, will prove fair enough
To cozen you in. Do you mark? You shall
Be cozened, Diego.
FACE: Cozened, do you see,
40 My worthy Donzel, cozened.
SURLY: Entiendo.
SUBTLE: Do you intend it? so do we, dear Don.
Have you brought pistolets or portagues,
My solemn Don? [To FACE] Dost thou feel any?
He feels his pockets.
FACE: Full.
SUBTLE: You shall be emptied, Don, pumpèd and drawn
Dry, as they say.
FACE: Milkèd, in trodi, sweet Don.
SUBTLE: See all the monsters; the great lion of all, Don.
SURLY: Con licencia, se puede ver á esta señora?
SUBTLE: What talks he now?
FACE: O’ the señora.
SUBTLE: O, Don,
That is the lioness, which you shall see
Also, my Don.
FACE: ’Slid, Subtle, how shall we do? 50
SUBTLE: For what?
FACE: Why, Dol’s employed, you know.
SUBTLE: That’s true.
’ Fore heav’ n I know not: he must stay, that’s all.
FACE: Stay! that he must not by no means.
SUBTLE: No! why?
FACE: Unless you’ll mar all. ’Slight, he’ll suspect it;
And then he will not pay, not half so well.
This is a travelled punk-master, and does know
All the delays; a notable hot rascal,
And looks already rampant.
SUBTLE: ’Sdeath, and Mammon
Must not be troubled.
FACE: Mammon! in no case.
SUBTLE: What shall we do then?
60 FACE: Think: you must be sudden.
SURLY: Entiendo que la señora es tan hermosa, que codìcio tan
à verla como la bien aventurànça de mi vida.
FACE: Mi vida! ’Slid, Subtle, he puts me in mind o’ the widow.
What dost thou say to draw her to ’t, ha!
And tell her it is her fortune? All our venture
Now lies upon’t. It is but one man more,
Which on’s chance to have her; and beside,
There is no maidenhead to be feared or lost.
What dost thou think on’t, Subtle?
SUBTLE: Who, I? why–
FACE: The credit of our house, too, is engaged. 70
SUBTLE: You made me an offer for my share erewhile.
What wilt thou gi’ me, i’ faith?
FACE: O, by that light,
I’ll not buy now. You know your doom to me.
E’ en take your lot, obey your chance, sir; win her,
And wear her out for me.
SUBTLE: ’Slight, I’ll not work her then.
FACE: It is the common cause; therefore bethink you.
Dol else must know it, as you said.
SUBTLE: I care not.
SURLY: Señores, porque se tarda tanto?