The Life She Wished For (Birds of Paradise Book 2)

by ChaShiree M.

  The kiss, so elemental yet tame. Life altering yet sweet, and right but so wrong, to be called a kiss. I have never had an actual kiss and not sure I know what I am doing. But I don’t care. I push my tongue into his mouth and the dance begins. I hear a moan, which I think, comes from me, but it’s the rumble that sets me on fire. A thunderous rumble comes out from his chest and straight into my soul. In this moment I know. I know I am meant to be his. There is no other explanation for the magnetic pulse that resonates from him and lands in my very being, making me feel as if I had been waiting for him my whole life.

  His mouth has a strong flavor of whatever he was drinking, but also tasting of peppermint. It’s like a savory sweet flavor and I find myself trying to devour him. I am desperate at this point to get so far inside of him that they will need a roadmap to find our ending and beginning. There is only us in this moment, and I want it to continue. However, all too soon he is pulling me off him. Hmmm… I don’t remember climbing him… Wow…it’s like I’m a new person around him.

  “Steady baby. I want you too. More than you’re ready to know. But not here like this, my little Kotenok. Derr`mo. You have no idea how hard I am right now. Having you in my arms going up in flames was the sexiest thing I have ever seen. You are a fire goddess in heat, and it is the hardest thing not to lay you out on top of this counter and devour you Myshka.”

  If those words weren’t enough to light me aflame, he throws gasoline on the torch with his next words. He bends down towards my ear and says; “I want to sit your little luscious ass on top of this bar, lift your dress, and sniff your pussy. Then slowly and methodically run my finger around the circumference of your panties, until you’re begging me to take them off. And make no mistake baby, you will beg me.

  Then and only then will I pull those wet, damp, soaked, pieces of scrap off and stick my nose in your juicy cunt, to smell your arousal. Your scent will keep me warm at night when we can’t be together; after I brand your fragrance in my sinuses. I don’t ever want to be able to smell food or anything else, because it all should smell of you. Once I am done, and only then, will I slowly flick my tongue up your slit while opening your pretty pink flower taking mental pictures of the way it looks.”

  I don’t really curse, but holy fucking shit. I am a mess right now. It feels like I’m hyperventilating, breathing is erratic, while my knees are literally shaking, and my lady parts are pulsing, growing tighter and tighter. I didn’t know men talked like that; let alone imagine one would say such things to me. The worst part is: I am so far gone if he attempted to do those things right here and now, I am not sure I would have the ability to stop him.

  What the fuck! Is that moisture running down my leg? Is this normal? Who the fuck said this was ok? I don’t know what to do. I want to beg him to finish because I feel like I am about to collapse from toxic shock or something. Wait, am I really mewling like a damn cat? WTF! I need to talk to my sisters. Right now!

  “Mikhail, I really need to talk to my sisters for a second, ok. I promise I will be right back.”

  Am I whining now…ok this has got to stop.

  “Krasivyy, I have no problem with you talking to your sisters, but they look preoccupied. The oldest looks as if she is in the middle of a fight. As such, I cannot let you endanger yourself. I must insist that you leave with me now.”

  I turn to see what he’s talking about. To my surprise, Fae is indeed caught between two men. One of which it seems like she knows, if the way she is staring at him is any indication. Interesting. She doesn’t date, talk about men, or sleep with them; making this troublesome and intriguing. I look around to see if the others are noticing, when I turn in time to see Quetzal run out the door with a man following her. It scares me, and I try to go after her when Mikhail grabs my arm and tells me, “No.”

  “Myshka, I cannot let you go after her without knowing what is happening. I’m sorry.”

  “How dare you? She is my sister and may be in danger. Not that any of this is your business. We are all under a lot of pressure and I can’t let her go out there alone. ED could be out there waiting, and we won’t survive being taken back. I have to go find her.” I didn’t realize I was crying and rambling, revealing too much, until he pushes my head into his chest and starts soothing me with words.

  “Shhhh, my little mouse. I know you worry about your sister, but with my observation, I believe she is with two men that will look after her. However; as to your other comment, I dare because you belong to me. MOY! MINE! I will always look out for your best interest first and above all others. It is something you need to learn to deal with. Come. Let’s go take our walk now.” I find myself being pulled away, and although I want to protest, my heart won’t let me.

  Shit! They say be careful what you wish for. Too late now…right?

  My poor, poor Myshka. She has no idea what she did the moment she walked into the bar. Her sisters are beautiful, but nowhere near as stunning as my mouse. I sense her reticence at going with me. Ordinarily I would commend such behavior because she doesn’t know me. But her hesitation will get in the way of what is mine, and I can’t have that. No, the best thing I can do is walk her out and away from all of this, so I can learn more and plan more.

  As I escort my baby out of that God forsaken place, I can’t help but lament about my good fortune. I mean sure, I’m rich, healthy, good looking, and can have anything my heart desires; but I had given up on ever finding my one true love. Then in walks this luscious, curvy, goddess of fire and my life is altered just like that.

  “Why don’t we go for a walk around Central Park and talk? Sound good?”

  “Yes, that sounds lovely.” She says this, but the lines etched in her face relay her still worried state and I begin to feel a bit guilty about being part of the reason. I need to distract her.

  “Phoenix, tell me something else about you. Tell me something no one else knows? I want the secrets. I want to know everything. We are going to be spending our lives together and I need to know what dragons to slay for you Myshka.”

  “I don’t really want to talk about myself. Tell me more about you instead.”

  I think it’s amusing that she believes she has a choice. For now, she will get a reprieve this one time because she is not aware that tonight changes everything.

  “Ok, baby. Why don’t I start by asking you some simple questions, Yes?”

  I hold my breath waiting for her answer. This will be a deciding factor in how I am going to proceed for future conversations. Will I need to be forceful, or will she fall in line. When I see a slight nod of her head, I release a large breath and begin.

  “How old are you?

  “EIGHTEEN”

  Fuck! She is literally green. This is messed up. I’m thinking about corrupting an innocent. She is barely old enough to know what she wants, let alone to want an old man to like me.

  What the fuck!

  Oh well. There is nothing for it. It’s too late. There is no way I can walk away from her. Might as well continue as I mean to finish.

  “Are your parents alive?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you live with them?”

  “No.”

  “Where do you live, and with whom?”

  “I live on campus at the UNI with a roommate.”

  “What are you studying?”

  “Not sure. But I am contemplating Community Health”

  “Who takes care of you and pays your bills? Tuition?”

  “My brothers and sisters.”

  Fuck! The hits keep on coming. It means I’ll have to fight her brothers for control of her life. Might as well get Vuolo on it after I drop her off.

  “Are you a virgin?”

  “Yes.”

  That doesn’t surprise me. My girl looks like she is untouched. She walks too straight and with too little swish. Once I get in that tight pussy, she won’t be able to walk straight, ever. Fuck, just thinking about it has me needing to adjust my dick. Down boy. Our turn is coming.


  “How many boys have you kissed?”

  “None. You were my first time.”

  Oh God. That made my dick so fucking hard. But, it deflated quickly as I began walking and turning my gaze on this creature who has literally changed everything about my life and doesn’t know it yet. She is staring at me with doe-eyed innocence and with a self-doubting look floating through her. She thinks her inexperience is a turnoff; but that couldn’t be further from the truth. The fact that I will be the first one to taste, touch, and introduce her to everything… shit…that’s enough to make me cum right now.

  I will get to take this beautiful little mouse and turn her into my own personal sex kitten. However, hearing that she hasn’t even been kissed before…well that creates a different problem and which takes me back to the string of expletives in the beginning. Because I now know my baby is not ready.

  I stop walking and I turn her face towards me knowing what I must do. It won’t be easy; but it must be done. Realizing how little she will understand, I wrap my hands around the back of her neck and slam my mouth on hers. It is the single most imperative kiss I have encountered. The kiss is a plea to wait and forgive me for what I must do. It is taking everything in me not to take her right here and now. The keening noise she is making from the back of her throat is almost her undoing.

  The way she flames up every time I touch her, even for a man like me, makes me want to bang my chest like Tarzan. I feel powerful and worthy in her presence. For that reason and the falsity of it, I know I must do this. Struggling, I pull away from her and place my forehead on top of her.

  I look at this beautiful creature, who has now become mine, with her pupils dilated and her chest heaving with her scent reaching my nose in rapid succession. I realize her body needs me, and her soul recognizes mine. I can smell her as I stare into her beautiful eyes. She probably doesn’t even recognize she is doing it, but she keeps squirming and adjusting her stance trying to alleviate an ache that I would be oh so happy to fix; if I thought she was ready.

  But, my baby is not ready for me yet, and if I’m honest…I’m not ready for her either. I have things to fix in my life to make way for her safe passage into my life and world. I will never put her mind, body, or soul in peril; not even from myself. For this reason, I must walk this beautiful angel home and walk away. For now. I know this will hurt her at first, but in the end when she can be mine without complication, it will be worth it.

  Walking under the moonlight with Mikhail feels like heaven. The entire time he is holding my hand and not letting it go. I love every minute of it. He is quickly becoming everything I need in a man. The way he is constantly touching me, to the slight way he walks a bit ahead. It is as if he is trying to shield me from anything coming my way. He even puts me on the inside of the sidewalk, like a true gentleman does.

  I feel a warm sensation spreading in my body as I experience my first sense of being safe; with someone who is not my family. Being with him is tantamount to being in a bubble cocooned with heat and fluffy goodness. I find myself trying to melt into him as we walk, seeking only something he can give me. I love the feelings it creates inside of my body; but, it also makes me feel silly. Only knowing each other barely a few hours, I am already envisioning us as married and starting a family in my head. It’s crazy, right? I mean it must be.

  I know nothing about him except that he smells woodsy, musky, and spicy. I know when he looks at me and tilts his head to the side slightly, he is examining my very core; it makes me excited and uncomfortable at the same time. He calls me names I have no idea what they mean, but they make me feel small and precious.

  He walks with a gait that speaks of authority and power, but not overly cocky either. When he leans in and sniffs my hair, my body quakes and trembles. His nose flares as I become aroused and this fascinates me. He cannot possibly know what is happening to me, can he? I am totally soaking my panties and I can’t help but wonder… can he smell me?

  Aside from those observations, I know nothing about him upon which we can build a lasting relationship. That makes my swift descent down this rabbit hole even more bizarre.

  He hasn’t stopped asking questions; including ones I have no desire to answer because I don’t want him to know much about me, and this makes me uncomfortable.

  “So, tell me Phoenix. Why is it that your brothers and sisters are supporting you? Where are your parents?”

  Crap!!! What am I supposed to say? There is no way I am telling him the truth. The only answer I have is a vague truth, and I use it.

  “We have always been able to trust only each other. So, Mikhail why is a man like you single?” I answer as best I can and deflect back to him.

  “Ah. Myshka. That is a very good question, precious. I have been so busy building my empire that I haven’t had the time or the inclination for a real relationship. There have been women, some that are not so easy to get rid of”; he grumbled that part, “but none that I have wanted to stay with permanently; until you, Myshka. Now tell me mouse, how has a beautiful young lady like you managed to stay a virgin? There must be legions of men and boys alike busting down your gate.”

  “Well, my brothers are extremely overprotective; and my body hasn’t felt like mine in really long time.”

  Even though the answer is too close to the truth for my personal comfort, I feel satisfied enough that I answered with as much honesty as possible. I didn’t reveal too much, and I didn’t lie.

  The night progresses much the same. He is seeking answers, while I dodge and give half-truths where I can. Not realizing the amount of time that has passed until we walk up to my dorm. As I approach the door, my stomach begins to do flips while my palms become sweaty and clammy. I didn’t want the night to end, but I am not ready for anything else.

  I am not sure what the protocol is on how to end a night like this. Amazingly, he anticipates my turmoil and takes the choice out of my hands by turning me around and holding my head.

  Using his thumbs to stroke lightly down my cheeks with a tenderness and possessiveness in his eyes; there is also something else behind in his gaze that looks suspiciously like regret. Before I can ask about it, he pulls me into his chest and holds me tight.

  At that moment, I try to inhale as much of him as possible. Somewhere, deep inside I know this will be all I get. Tears begin to form behind my eyes, as I try to pull away, and flee; before I have a breakdown in front of him. As usual, he has other plans.

  “Precious girl. You will not understand, but for now it is the best solution. I will not be too far behind and I will know everything always. You will wait for me, Myshka. I will not allow otherwise; and believe me, I will know. Please, know that everything I do from this moment forward is for you and our future. If you keep that in mind, you will forgive me when I finally come for you.”

  “I want you to carry a red handkerchief with you at all times. If you need me for anything, all you need to do is wave it around and stay where you are. Once you do, I will be by your side within the hour. You will always be protected, and I will never be far away. You need to remember to keep your phone on you always. I promise, we’ll be together soon. All you will need and everything you desire, will be my life’s mission. Sweet dreams Kotenok.”

  3 months later

  With the whispered epithet in my ear, he ushers me inside and walks out of my life as swiftly as he had appeared. Three months have gone by and I have heard nothing from Mikhail. There are times I feel I have eyes on me constantly, following me everywhere. I assumed they were him, and maybe some from my brothers too. I was quickly disabused of that notion when I stupidly put his final words to me to the test. Although I would rather have not had to.

  It was one night after school. I stayed late to do a lab for my science class and lost track of time. This happens to me often. Science happens to be my favorite subject. However, usually there are at least two other students in the lab as well. This time though, I was completely alone and unaware. After making s
ure my assignment was carefully put away, I walked out into the lot and came to an abrupt halt. The parking lot was completely dark and that is never the case. It is always well lit. It starts to make me nervous. I tried calming myself down because I do have a tendency of overreacting. I took my keys out and started briskly walking to my car.

  When I made it to the middle of the parking lot, I noticed there was a black, sleek looking car sitting there with the engine running. It was possible that there were other students in the building I didn’t see, but I really thought I was alone in there. Which could only mean that car was here for me. I wanted to assume it was someone hired by my brothers, but the feeling of dread in my gut was telling me I was in danger. In theory, I could have probably make a run for it and gotten to my car before anyone could have made it to me, but I thought if I had run, they may have liked the chase.

  I settled for a steady brisk walk and made my way to the car. Right as I made it like 30 feet from my car, the door for the other car opened and I saw a foot follow. I started to panic and backtrack towards the school. I hated that I had to turn my back on whoever it was, but I knew if I wanted to break out in a run I had to. Five seconds into my retreat, I heard footsteps swiftly making their way towards me. I felt a paralyzing fear starting to run through my body. As much as I wanted to scream, my brothers always said “unless you know someone will hear you, do not scream. You save your energy to fight.”

  So, no screaming. That is when I remembered. I grabbed my purse, reached into the front pocket, took the red handkerchief out of it, and as I ran I began waving it around like a lunatic. In my mind, I keep saying ‘He said he would come. He said he would come.’ Right before I make it to the door, I heard a beeping noise behind me and suddenly, the footsteps retreated in the other direction. I ran into the building and right when I went to answer my phone, the door is swung open and in walks Sam, my brothers best friend and my sometimes bodyguard. As happy as I was to see him, the one thing I held onto was … he didn’t come.