First Love

by Clymer, J. E.

  “It would have nothing to do with my bar sitting smack dab in the middle of all six pack territories and completely neutral would it? I mean, now that I think about it, you boys are about the right age to be the next alphas of each pack,” she said without thinking.

  Conner’s car screeched as he pulled it off on the edge of the road.

  “How the hell do you know that, Lisa?” he said with panic in his voice.

  “What?” she asked innocently.

  “That there are wolf shifters at all, let alone that there were six packs,” he said with quietly suppressed panic.

  “I said that out loud? I…I know better than that. My parents were well versed in the local packs, it’s what got them killed. Conner, I think I’m getting too comfortable around you guys. I’m usually more on guard than to say anything since I’m fond of breathing,” she said.

  “Lisa, Lance is right. You’ve had what ten-fifteen hours of sleep in the last week? You can’t make a mistake like that. A lot of wolves frequent your bar and they won’t let it go like I’m about to,” he said sternly.

  “Okay,” she said quietly.

  “Lisa, I’m serious. If you don’t start getting at least seven hours of sleep a day I will haul you in front of the pack council myself. You’re a liability to my kind like this,” Conner said with no emotion in his voice.

  “Conner, I can lay in bed until hell freezes over, but that does not mean I’m going to sleep,” she complained.

  “Then scratch the mall. We’re going to a doctor and you are going to some drugs to help you sleep,” he said while putting the car into gear.

  “Like hell! I do not go to doctors. Nobody is sticking a needle in my arm,” she said in outrage.

  “If I can give you my word that you won’t be poked, will you go?” he asked with a heavy sigh.

  “I don’t need a doctor,” she said while crossing her arms and leaning back in the seat.

  “Would you rather I take you before the Pack Council?” he asked flatly.

  “I…I’ll go to the damn doctor,” Lisa conceded.

  Chapter 2

  Lisa bounced on the exam couch. She was as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof. When the handsome doctor finally came in she looked over at Conner and said, “If he tells me to take my clothes off we’re going to have issues.”

  “Lisa, this is my younger brother, Dean. Dean, this is Lisa and she doesn’t like needles or doctors apparently,” Conner introduced them.

  Dean studied his brother a minute before turning to Lisa with a warm smile and asking, “What is going on with you, Lisa?”

  “She doesn’t sleep,” Conner chimed in.

  Dean turned back to his brother and said quietly, “Conner, with all due respect, she needs to tell me.”

  Lisa cleared her throat and said, “I have nightmares. So, Conner’s right, I don’t sleep.”

  Dean pulled up a rolling stool and sat down in front of her. He studied her a moment and then turned to Conner and said, “I need a moment with my patient, Conner.”

  As soon as his brother was out of the room he turned back to Lisa and said, “As you know I’m a psychologist, not a regular doctor. While Conner probably thought I’d just throw some pills at you no questions asked, I’m going to be honest. That is not going to solve your problem.”

  “I am not interested in talking,” Lisa said.

  “Too bad, I’m interested in listening. You have a number of very powerful men around you every day, Lisa. You have to be stable. I think you already know that though, judging from the blush in your cheeks,” he said.

  “I like my secrets,” she said while meeting his eyes. Alpha wolves had the ability to push others towards their will. Lisa hadn’t pushed anyone since she was a child, but she put a subtle push in her voice.

  Dean’s eyebrow went up for a moment before he said, “I council a lot of alphas, Lisa. Pushing me is not going to get your way, but I will say I am impressed at how talented you are at it. If I hadn’t been trained to resist pushing you would be walking out of this office with some sleeping pills right now and I’d never even know it wasn’t my choice.”

  Lisa’s face burst into flames and tears filled her eyes as she said, “I’m sorry.”

  “Apology accepted. Who all knows you’re a stray wolf?” he asked kindly.

  “You, apparently,” she said leaning back in the chair and crossing her arms.

  His eyes widened for a moment, but he quickly covered his surprise by saying, “Lisa, I’m even more concerned now. As you know, people like us are in a constant battle to control our instincts. The more tired you are, the harder that battle is going to be. Medication has to be in our game plan in the short-term, but we also need to get these nightmares to stop.”

  “Don’t you think I’ve tried? It’s not like I choose to wake up after a few hours,” she said in frustration.

  “I know you don’t, but I also know we are social animals and living without a pack is contributing to this. Have you thought about joining a pack?” Dean asked.

  Lisa met his eyes and there was something in them that gave him chills as she said, “That discussion is off the table, Dean.”

  There wasn’t any push in the words, but the stone cold anger of a true alpha made his stomach drop. Lisa was dangerous and Dean knew it. He changed tactics and asked simply, “What happens in the dreams?”

  “I get to relive hell. Can I just get those pills now? You’re right, I’m tired and losing the fight for control,” she said simply as she pushed herself up out of the chair.

  “On the condition you come back in two days for our next session, then yes, you can have the pills,” Dean said.

  “I suppose you’re going to tell Conner I have to be back?” she asked.

  “In your case? Yes, I believe it is a good idea. That said, the fact that you are a wolf stays between us. When you come out of the crate is up to you, but do me a favor and wash off that perfume in the bathroom before we sit down next,” he said.

  He opened his desk and pulled out a bottle of pills. He handed them to her and she opened them and shook a few out into her hand. Her eyes widened at the size of them.

  “Couldn’t you have just given me a prescription?” she asked.

  “Put those in your pocket and don’t let Conner see them unless you want him to know you’re a wolf. Those are horse tranquilizers. Our metabolisms work much faster than a human’s, so we need something with some power behind it. Take one a half hour before bed,” he instructed.

  Slipping the bottle in her pocket she forced a smile as she said, “Thanks, doc.”

  “Lisa,” Dean said. “Be careful with Conner. He is not good at permanent.”

  Sighing, as she got up and walked out the door she said, “Why does that not surprise me?”

  Dean was right behind her with a sad smile. Conner was pacing out in the waiting room.

  “What took so long?” he asked with a touch of concern.

  Dean rolled his eyes as he said to his brother, “We barely did a quarter of a session.”

  “I got the sleeping pills, can we go now?” Lisa asked, hoping to get out of the office before Dean could mention her next appointment to Conner.

  “Not so fast,” Dean said to her. Turning to his brother he said, “She has to see me day after tomorrow. I will work her in whenever she can get here.”

  “I’ll have her here around the same time then,” Conner said.

  “Y’all don’t have to talk about me like I’m not here,” she grumbled.

  “We do when all you were going to rush out the door. C’mon, baby girl, I’m going to get you home to bed,” Conner said while draping one of his arms around her shoulders.

  Lisa couldn’t help rolling her eyes as he guided her out of office. When they were back in his car he asked her, “So, what pharmacy do we need to go by?”

  “Oh…um…your brother gave me some samples,” Lisa said.

  Conner reached over and brought her hand to his lips as
he kissed her knuckles.

  “I know taking medication to sleep probably scares you, but you’re going to be just fine,” he said with a reassuring smile.

  “It’s not the medication, Conner. It’s the idea of being trapped in one of those dreams and not being able to wake up. I could just work less. You can still rest and not sleep, can’t you?” she asked.

  Conner gave her a pity filled grimace and squeezed her hand as he shifted the car into drive. He did not know what to do when Lisa jerked her hand back out of his grasp. Lisa could hear the stress in Conner’s heart-beat.

  “Sorry, I don’t really like being touched either,” she apologized.

  “Lisa, I need you to take those pills and see Dean. You need help plus you have slipped up in front of me. What would have happened if you had said what you did in front of a blood mage or hunter?” he asked quietly.

  “I know what happens when the wrong person finds out about a group of shifters and I do not need you to remind me, Conner,” Lisa snapped with a bit more bite than she intended.

  Conner did not say another word the rest of the way to her apartment. She got out and headed toward the door with him close on her heals.

  “You are not coming in,” she said.

  “Uh-uh, baby girl, you are taking sleeping medication for the first time. Besides, you’re in my territory, so I’m responsible for keeping you safe,” he bluffed.

  “It sits in the old Brokefang territory close to Jared’s territory line,” she said flatly.

  “And that is why you have to take those pills, young lady,” he said with a warm smile.

  She turned around so her back was against the door. Looking up into Conner’s eyes she bit her lip. Lisa gripped her keys in her hands so hard that she was surprised they didn’t bleed. Lisa wasn’t stupid. Conner had a good four inches and hundred pounds on her. If he wanted in he was coming in.

  “Conner, please don’t make me beg. This is my space—mine. You have my word I will take the pills, just please—please—leave,” she said in a small voice.

  “Fine, I’m going, but I expect you fully rested tomorrow,” he said in a protective tone.

  “Everyone needs to stop worry about me,” Lisa said with a tight smile.

  He leaned forward and kissed her forward before saying softly, “Ain’t going to happen, baby girl. Get some rest.”

  Lisa watched him get in his car before she stepped inside. She pulled the pill bottle out of her pocket for a moment and stared at it. Sighing, she quickly dumped a pill in her hand and swallowed it. She walked into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed, praying the nightmares would not haunt her.

  Chapter 3

  The sweet summer air floated around the dark haired little girl as she swung higher and higher on the park swings. She pumped her legs harder with each fall back. She loved the feel of flying which is why she often snuck away down the street to the local park.

  Tamika often wondered if she tried hard enough if she could make it all the way around. Just go right up and over the swing set. The mere thought made her giggle with excitement and pump her little legs a little bit harder.

  Suddenly a hard push from behind her sent her even higher in the air. She laughed as she swung higher. The little boy who had helped push her stepped the side of the swing set and smiled up at her. He had crystal blue eyes and hair the color of spring strawberries. She let herself swing to a slow stop.

  “Hello,” she said sweetly. Her hazel eyes sparkled with color as she smiled wide at the boy.

  “Where’s your mommy?” he asked.

  Tamika shrugged and said with a smile, “She would have said she didn’t have time, so I came by myself. Where’s yours?”

  “I don’t need an adult watching me,” the little boy said proudly.

  “Thank you for pushing me,” she said.

  He nodded, but didn’t say anything.

  “My name is Tamika. What’s yours?” she asked with that giddy bounce in her body that happy children often have.

  “Bryan. I should really be getting back,” the boy said with an uncomfortable fidget.

  Tamika grabbed his hand and held it tightly as she asked, “Please come back, Bryan. Everybody is older than me. They don’t want to play. Please, please be my friend. I’ll push you in the swing next time!”

  The little boy looked into her watery eyes and sighed. “I’ll be here tomorrow around now if you want to play,” he said. It sounded more like a death sentence than a play date. Moreover, he sounded so much older than the ten or eleven years that he had to be.

  Tamika almost bounced as she leaned forward quickly and kissed his cheek.

  “I can’t wait! Oh!! We are going to have so much fun!” she said in bubbly happiness.

  “Yeah,” Bryan said in a tone that was laced with confusion. “Yeah…”

  ###

  It was ten in the morning and Lisa flitted around the bar like a honeybee in the middle of wildflower field. She had sent Lance home the minute she walked through the door an hour before. He argued, but she won.

  Now she just watched the five hottest dancers in the world practice. She had already tackled all of the paperwork that had to be done, washed and dried every glass in the place, and washed the windows. Well, she washed the windows that looked dirty near the door.

  She just relaxed and watched the guys dance. While she waited for them to finish she made each of them a glass of water and sat it on the counter. When they finally made their way down off of the stage they all came and sat at the bar. It took almost everything Lisa had not to lick her lips.

  Ken looked her up and down with a blatantly hungry look in his eyes and said, “You look like a million bucks, Lisa.”

  Mac nodded and said, “You do look like you feel better.”

  “I do. In fact, I owe Conner a thank you. He took me to see his brother yesterday and he gave me some medicine to help me sleep,” Lisa said with a warm smile.

  Jared’s eyes snapped onto her and he said in a low voice, “Why didn’t you say you weren’t sleeping?”

  “It was my business, Jared. You can ask Conner—I did not appreciate being called out on it. I owe both him and Lance for doing it though,” Lisa said with a wink at Conner.

  “It should have never gotten to the point that someone had to call you out,” Jared fumed. His anger was palpable. Lisa could feel goosebumps forming on her arms in response to the acrid smell of anger that had mingled with the salty smoke smell of his scent.

  The other men in the room barely breathed which told Lisa they knew exactly how angry he was. She on the other hand was not going to cower to his temper. She put her hands on her hips and stared him down.

  “Jared, I don’t have time for your temper tantrum,” Lisa said flatly.

  He vaulted across the counter so fast it was hard to follow that he was even out of his seat. He pushed her hard into the counter. Lisa could see the subtle shift in his eyes from human to animal. Jared was literally declaring dominance over her as he settled his hips over hers.

  “That was not a temper tantrum, this is a temper tantrum,” he said coldly.

  “Jared if you ever want to step foot on this property again, you are going to step away from me this instant. Then you’re going to go take an ice cold shower and when you come back tonight, you will apologize to me. Are we clear?” she said in a tone that was just as frigid as his.

  “You can’t keep me from coming here,” he said through heavy breaths.

  “I own this place and if you don’t step away from me in the next ten seconds, so help me, I will shoot you myself the next time you try to darken my door step,” Lisa promised.

  Jared seemed to weigh his options and step back. He stalked out of the bar and every person in the room breathed a sigh of relief. Ken looked at her like she was a goddess incarnate. The other two men didn’t seem to quite know what to make of her.

  “Marry me,” Ken whispered.

  Lisa rounded on him shook her head as she said, �
��Now, don’t you start. You’re just a kid and I am not going to rob from anybody’s cradle. Especially not from one with a big brother as grouchy as the ass that just walked out of this bar.”

  Mac was the first one to burst out laughing. He laughed so hard he was doubled over on the bar. After a few moments Ken and Conner both joined in. The three of them laughed until they cried. Even Lisa couldn’t help but chuckle.

  “Who would believe it?” Mac finally choke out.

  “Jared being run off by woman,” Conner chimed in.

  That all set off a second round of laughter.

  Lisa threw a towel at Mac and said, “Y’all get, you need to rest before you work tonight.”

  All three men couldn’t stop laughing long enough to say goodbye. They went back to the dressing rooms to get some clothes on before they left. Lisa waited until she heard the last one leave the building. She was all alone when picked up the phone and dialed Dean’s number.

  She heard the click and a quick, “Hello.”

  “Dean? I…how familiar are you with current pack laws?” she asked.

  “Lisa? Every pack member is required to know them inside and out. Why?” he asked.

  “I pushed Jared. He challenged me in my own bar, and I couldn’t help it. I’m fine because I’m in neutral territory, right?” she asked quietly.

  “Wrong,” a deep voice behind her said.

  “I will see you tomorrow, Dean,” she said and hung up the phone. Turning around she met Jared’s eyes and said, “You left.”

  “Only until I was sure the boys would be gone and because that was one hell of a push, Lisa,” he said with complete honesty.

  “I am batting a million this week. I’ve lived here for almost a decade without a problem, then in a two day period I’ve let slip to Conner I know about the packs and pushed you,” she said while leaning back against the bar.

  “You did not just push me, Lisa. You pushed me hard enough that I had to get outside. I am the strongest of the next generation of alphas and you stand on equal ground with me,” he said.