I narrowed my eyes at him. “And you like it.”
His lips slowly curved into a smile, “The gods help me, I do.” He shook his head and I saw lingering strain in his eyes. “And it’s a good thing you finally woke and joined us. Fairy healing rituals prevent any but the ill and the healer from being present. I’m not sure how much longer I could have stayed away.”
“Much longer? I couldn’t have been out more than a few hours—”
“Days. Three days.”
Days? The knowledge stunned me. “Oh.”
“As sweet as this reunion is,” Bethany said as she pushed between us, “you’ve had enough time with her.”
I gave Caius a helpless look as Bethany dragged me away. Nearly everyone in the room stared at me as we crossed the room to a cushioned bench tucked away in a corner next to several shelves of books. Uncomfortable with the strange looks they were giving me, I did my best to ignore them.
“What is wrong with everyone?” I whispered to Bethany. “Why are they all staring at me?”
Bethany raised an eyebrow, looking at me as if I should know. When I continued to look confused, she said, “Because of what you did in the canyon. Nobody has ever seen anything like it. You created completely new plants and used them to attack the angels and demonborn trying to kill us.”
I sighed. “So they think I’m a freak.” As if I wasn’t enough of one already.
“No.” She shook her head. “They think you’re amazing. I think you’re amazing. You ended it so quickly, we didn’t lose anyone. I didn’t get to see it in person, but it’s all anyone has talked about. It was incredible.”
“Of course she’s amazing and incredible, but then she was that before she did what she did in the canyon,” James said as he walked up and pulled me into a hug nearly as tight as Caius’s had been. “If you ever do that again, I’m going to tie you up and lock you in a room at Nyx’s. Surely a goddess can keep you safe.”
Sure she could. I rolled my eyes and pushed him away. “If I ever do what again, stop a battle?”
“Die.”
“What?” Had I heard him right?
“Jo,” James paused and rubbed his hands over his face before continuing, “your heart stopped, you quit breathing. I’ve never seen Caius move that fast. You barely hit the ground before he was there, starting chest compressions. Rowen was right behind him, blowing air into your lungs. They both stayed right there, getting cut up by the grass, refusing to give up. Twice they got you going only to have to do it again. And then Caius nearly killed himself giving you blood…” He gazed at me with a haunted look in his eyes. “Caius is always so cool and collected, but while he was trying to make your heart beat again… It was terrible to watch.”
A shiver ran through me as snatches of memories came back and I remembered wondering who had quit breathing. Apparently, it had been me. I turned to look at Caius. His golden gaze watched me from across the room as if he was afraid to take his eyes off me.
“I’m so sorry, James.” I gave him a hug. “If I hadn’t passed out at the end and lost control of the power, I don’t think it would have been as bad. I had no idea it could snap back with so much force.”
James returned my embrace, more gentle this time. “Just promise not to do it again. Not only because I can’t stand the thought of losing you, but because I can’t bear to watch Caius go through that again. It’s such an unnatural state of being for him, it doesn’t suit him, and quite frankly, I’m not sure the worlds would survive the aftermath of the storm he would unleash.”
I released him, having trouble imagining Caius that close to losing control. “I will do my best to keep it from happening again.”
It wasn’t a promise, it couldn’t be. The feces had just barely hit the proverbial fan at this point. When people found out about the baby, it was going to be like dumping napalm on a forest fire.
Bethany took my hand and tugged me toward the wide bench. The three of us sprawled together on it. I sighed as I relaxed into the soft cushion, thankful to Bethany for distracting me. It was going to be harder than I thought to keep the pregnancy a secret. I needed my friends, but wasn’t sure how they would react to the news.
Surprisingly, since she had been the one to pull me away, Bethany became unusually quiet. The silence between us slowly grew uncomfortable until I finally asked, “What?”
“You wanna tell her?” James asked, Bethany.
“Tell me what?” I turned my attention on her.
“How does a bond work?” She stared at her hands.
Taken aback, I searched her face. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, how does it happen? What did you do when you became bound to Caius?”
“Partially bound,” I corrected automatically. “I drank a small, diluted amount of his blood and he did the same with mine.”
“So it wasn’t just one-sided? How much did it take?”
“It was only a tiny amount and no, it wasn’t one-sided. At least not in the beginning. When he saved me from the silver poisoning, he dumped a whole lot of his blood down me. And he’s given me his blood a few times since.” Confused, I asked, “Why?”
“What did the fairy tell you about how they found us?”
What was with all of the answering questions with more questions? “She said they found me and four others without injury. One slept like me, the others were awake. And the rest of the group sported various injuries. Now tell me why you are asking me about this.”
I glanced at James, but he kept his gaze firmly on Bethany so I turned back to her. After what seemed like forever, she finally sighed and answered, “I was the fourth without injury. The one who slept like you, only not as long.”
“Okay. And…”
“She took a staff to the gut,” James said, breaking his silence.
“What?” I almost shrieked, drawing a few glances our way. “How are you okay? How did they find you uninjured if you were stabbed with a staff in the…Oh. Oh!” I stared wide-eyed at my friend. “Malik healed you with his blood.”
She nodded and continued to stare at her hands.
“And how do you feel about that?” Concern for my friend filled me. I mean, Malik was a good guy, but if he’d pushed Bethany into something she didn’t want, he and I were going to have a discussion.
“I like him.” Apparently, her fingernails were suddenly the most interesting thing in all the worlds if the way she focused on them was any indication. “But, I don’t want to be bound to him.” She finally looked me, her eyes filled with pleading. “Please tell me he didn’t bind us while saving me.”
At least I could put her fears to rest. “Did he take your blood?” When she shook her head, I said, “Then no, you aren’t bound. Not even partially. That he gave you his blood to save your life shows that he likes you as well. Maybe more than you do him.”
She cast her gaze back to her lap and mumbled, “I doubt it.”
“That he likes you?” I snorted. “Bethany, he could have easily bound you two if he’d wanted to. The fact he didn’t strip that choice from you speaks volumes.”
“No, I don’t mean I doubt he likes me.” A blush crept up her freckled face. “I mean, I doubt he likes me more than I like him.”
“Oh.” It was a lame response, but it was all I had. After only a year with friends, I still hadn’t perfected girl talk and was rather at a loss as to what to say.
James scooched around on the bench until he sat between us. After putting an arm around both of us, he said, “You two are a mess.”
“You have no idea.” I rolled my eyes.
Something in my tone must have alerted them because their attention was complete and riveted on me. Crap. I hadn’t meant to convey so much with that comment.
***
“I was aware of every expression on her face as she spoke quietly in the corner to her friends. She was too careful, trying too hard to maintain the façade she used to have mastered. My many years had given me plenty of insight i
nto body language. She seemed all right, claimed she was…so what was she hiding?” ~Caius
Chapter 32
Bethany narrowed her eyes at me, “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Are you keeping things from us again?” James said at the same time. I tried to keep my face neutral, but must have failed because his look mirrored Bethany’s. “You are, aren’t you? What’s wrong?”
“Shhhhhh!” I glanced in Caius’s direction. He was across the room in a conversation with several others, though his eyes remained on me.
Suddenly, my secret weighed too much to carry by myself and I wanted to tell Bethany and James. They hadn’t failed to stand by my side yet, and if this pushed them over the edge, I could hardly blame them. And if they ratted me out, I would face the music. But not here, not with Caius staring at me across the room.
“Why do we need to be quiet?” James asked in a whisper.
“Not here. I will tell you, but not here.”
Bethany stood and said a little on the loud side, “Come on, I will show you the room I’m staying in.”
“Sure.” I got up and followed her with James bringing up the rear. I could feel Caius’s eyes on me as we crossed the open space and walked up the ramp that circled its way up the tree.
We were on the third level of the ramp by the time Bethany led me into a nice sized room and shut the door. She turned toward me as soon as it was closed. “Okay, spill. What are you hiding?”
“And why didn’t you want to tell us down there?” James asked with a vague motion toward the floor.
“I didn’t want to tell you with everyone around. Especially Caius, I don’t want him to know yet because I don’t know how he will react.” I paused, waiting to see how they took that.
James nodded. “Your secret is safe with me.”
“Yeah, me too.” Bethany gave me a worried look. “What are you hiding from Caius? Are you okay? Did something happen at the canyon you don’t want him to know about?”
“Bethany,” James said with an exasperated sigh, “give her a chance to answer one question before you fire a barrage at her.”
I licked my lips and wiped my hands on my jeans, my gaze flicking from one to the other before I took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”
Absolute silence followed my announcement as my two friends stood there looking stunned. I waited, growing more uncomfortable by the second under the weight of their astonished stares. Maybe this was a bad idea; maybe I made the wrong choice. But damn it, I didn’t know the first thing about being pregnant other than the biological process. I didn’t want to be alone in this.
James cleared his throat and said quietly, “Caius doesn’t know?”
“No.” My voice came out as a whisper as I dropped my gaze to the floor. “He doesn’t know. I can’t tell him.”
“Jo, you can’t hide this from him,” Bethany said in a worried tone. “He has a right to know.”
I raised my eyes to hers. “Don’t you think if he wanted kids, he would have had them at some point in his eight hundred and some years?”
“I don’t pretend to have any idea what his reaction will be, but you need to tell him.” Her gaze searched mine. “Unless…I know things are different in the mortal world and you were raised differently…are you planning to end the pregnancy?”
I wrapped my arms protectively around my middle and took a step back. “No! Why does everyone assume that?”
“Everyone?” Bethany looked taken aback. “Who else knows?”
“Dell, the fairy that was with me when I woke. She’s the one who told me.”
“Jo,” James said, then hesitated before continuing, “If she assumed it, then it’s because you are refusing to tell Caius. And because she, like us, understands exactly the turmoil this pregnancy will cause. As if you don’t already have a big enough target painted on you. This will also make you all the more vulnerable. You can’t take the same injuries you have in the past. You won’t even be able to train like you have been. It’s a miracle everything up to this moment hasn’t caused you to lose it. I can only assume you aren’t very far along.”
“I am not ending this baby.” I glowered at him, a surge of protective instincts rising so strong within me fire licked around the edges of my hands. “I don’t care what kind of chaos it causes.”
James held up his hands, palms toward me. “Easy. I wasn’t suggesting you should end it. I was merely trying to say I won’t stop being your friend and loving you no matter what you decided.”
“Oh, Jo, we don’t expect you to end it.” Bethany wrapped me in a hug. “It’s just the way you delivered the news, like you were announcing the worst thing ever.”
I hugged her back. “I didn’t know if you guys would think it was. If you would still be my friends, if you could still stand with me as I break everything as thoroughly as one can.”
Bethany gripped my upper arms and held me at arm’s length. “I know friendship is still rather new to you, but this is what it is. Through thick and thin, you are stuck with us.”
“Thank you.” It came out as a half sob while tears I couldn’t blink away filled my eyes and spilled over.
“Don’t cry!” Bethany pulled me into a fierce hug.
James wrapped his arms around both of us. “No matter what else falls apart around you, we will always be here.”
I sniffled and smiled at him. “I’m sorry. My emotions are a mess.”
“Yeah, we kind of noticed that lately,” he chuckled.
Bethany snorted. “At least now we know why.” They both let go of me and stepped back a bit as she appraised me. “Did Dell say how far along you were?”
“A month or so, she wasn’t sure. She also said there was no way of knowing how long my pregnancy will even be given my mixture.” I threw my hands in the air. “How could this happen? I’m supposed to be too young on this side of the veil. Have either of you ever heard of an immortal my age getting pregnant?”
Bethany shook her head. “It never happens younger than forty.”
“You have Caius’s blood running in your veins. A lot of it,” James said. “It was already maturing your powers faster; perhaps it matured other things as well.”
I stared at him like an idiot, wondering why I hadn’t thought of that myself. Of course, to give myself credit, I had been kind of freaked out about the whole thing. I slumped into the lone chair. “What a mess.”
James kneeled in front of me, his arms resting across my knees. “You do know how to find trouble. Remember when I said the suckage was going to expand exponentially?” When I nodded, he said, “This would be the exponential expansion.”
I laughed because he was right and because sometimes it’s better to laugh than cry. As it died away, I sighed and leaned forward, resting my forehead against James’s. “What am I going to do?”
“Tell Caius,” he responded.
Bethany rubbed slow circles on my back. “You have to, Jo. Eventually, he’s going to notice anyway, and then he will be pissed you kept it from him. And like James said, once everyone is ready to leave, which won’t be more than a few days, you won’t be able to resume training again. At least not the driven way you were before.”
“Yeah.” I couldn’t help the notable lack of enthusiasm. “What if he doesn’t want the baby?”
“If it comes to that, you still have us.” Bethany leaned down and gave me a light hug. “So, you going to tell him then?”
“I guess.” My stomach suddenly tied itself in nervous knots. “But not yet, okay?” Seeing they were about to protest, I clarified, “I will tell him. I just need some time to get used to the idea and to prepare in case he doesn’t want it. I need to fortify myself before I face that possibility.”
Neither of them looked pleased, but they both agreed to hold my secret close.
We stayed up there for a while longer so I could collect myself before descending back to the open area below. When we reached it, Rowen was there. He pulled me into a hug as fier
ce as the one from James. “Thank the gods. I really wasn’t sure you would pull through. For a while, I thought I had lost both you and Bethany.”
“No such luck.” I stepped away from and gave him a smile. “I’m kind of like a cockroach, people keeping stepping on me, but I just won’t die.”
Rowen shook his head. “It helps you have someone to help unsquish you.”
“Yeah.” I glanced at Caius, conflicted.
“I have quite a bit to be thankful to the demonborn for this day.” Rowen smiled at Bethany. “I owe them.”
“I don’t think they did it to get return favors.” Bethany bristled a little and I got the distinct sense she was feeling defensive over the demonborn. Or, one of them at least.
“No, I don’t believe they did.” Rowen glanced at where Caius stood with Malik. Had he given up trying to stop relationships between demonborn and Children? He brought his attention back to us. “Go relax and rest up. You guys need it after that mess in the canyon.”
I watched him walk away, a heavy feeling in my gut. His remark about the canyon brought back memories of the battle, of the fact I’d killed other people. A detail that had been washed away by the news of my pregnancy and the reunion with those I cared about. Now it was in the forefront again and the guilt weighed on me.
I’d never wanted to be a destroyer of lives. At least I didn’t have to lead them to the river afterward. Immortal souls didn’t need a guide or to pay the ferryman when their lives ended. How horrible would it have been to have to take those I’d killed to the ferry? To look them in the eye and know I was the cause. I suppose it was a stupid thing to worry about, they’d been trying to kill me, kill my friends. Somehow, that didn’t make it any easier. I was silent as we headed back the cushioned bench we’d vacated earlier.
Elijah waylaid us before we got there. Bethany and James went on without me while my father looked me over. “I am glad you are well. I worried about you.”
I sighed. “You and everyone else. I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble.”
“What you did was reckless and nearly killed you. At the same time, you saved a lot of lives. I know you probably don’t care, but I’m proud of you.” He smiled the smile I was so used to seeing on Victoria. “It takes a lot of selfless courage to do what you did.”
Betrayed (Raven Daughter Book 2) Page 23