Living To Love You (Santos Family Series Book 4)

by KD Bryan

  Chapter Six

  The three people in the room sat in silence for a long moment…everyone seemingly lost in their own troubled thoughts until Carli finally broke the silence. She glanced briefly at Rob before turning her attention to Jillian to ask more details about what had led up to today’s events.

  “Jillian, tell me everything that’s happened starting with the swelling that you’ve experienced,” instructed Carli in her no-nonsense nurse voice.

  For the first time since she’d arrived, Carli saw the tiniest spark in her best friend when Jillian looked over at Rob with one corner of her mouth tilted up slightly. Carli’s gaze moved to her brother and she caught the quick wink he sent Jillian in return. She wasn’t sure what that was all about, but neither did she care. If their private joke afforded them one second of respite from all of this, then so be it. Even if she did suspect it was at her expense.

  Jillian’s expression turned sober again just as quickly as she looked at Carli.

  “Carli, there’s really not much to tell. I know that sounds trite at the moment, but it’s the truth. I noticed some swelling in my left groin one day while showering. A few days later it looked worse, and then even more so a few days after that. I’ve been feeling really tired lately, too. More tired than usual, even when I’m traveling,” explained Jillian quietly.

  Carli shifted one foot beneath her and rested her arm across the back of the couch. “Okay, now tell me what Dr. Alston said. I assume that’s who you saw today.”

  Jillian shook her head and said, “Yes, I wanted to see my family doctor. I was starting to get really concerned, so I called and her nurse set up an appointment as soon as possible for me. I simply told the design team that I had to return home because of a medical situation, and then I called my boss in Chicago and explained things in more detail to him. He told me to take all the time that I needed.”

  “Okay, so did Dr. Alston do lab tests? I’m assuming she did, but I’m still confused about the details leading up to scheduling a biopsy procedure this quickly. Doctor’s usually order a round of antibiotic therapy first to treat any potential infection in these situations,” mused Carli more to herself than anyone else.

  Rob spoke up finally and said quietly, “Carli, the doctor did order lab tests. From the way it sounded on the phone she ordered several actually. Dr. Alston said that the results she’d gotten so far were abnormal…she described the results as falling in the mid to high range of abnormal.”

  Rob glanced quickly at Jillian trying to gauge her reaction to hearing all of this again. He hated the thought of upsetting her, but Carli needed to know all of the information they had so far.

  “Anyway, Dr. Alston said that based on the lab results in combination with the significant swelling in the groin area, as well as under the arm…” Rob was cut off when Carli interrupted with a question.

  “What do you mean as well as under the arm? There’s swelling in that area, too?” she asked.

  Rob could see the perplexed look on her face, and he realized this was news they hadn’t shared yet. He could also tell that it wasn’t news Carli wanted to hear.

  “Yes, evidently when Dr. Alston did her physical exam today she discovered some additional swollen lymph nodes under Jillian’s left arm. She contacted a surgeon and discussed the situation with him while Jillian was still there. Dr. Alston called later and said they’re going to biopsy both areas.”

  “When, Rob? I hope they’re planning to do this as soon as possible,” said Carli.

  She knew how critical it was that a diagnosis be confirmed as quickly as possible in these situations. If the biopsies did in fact confirm a malignancy, then starting treatment immediately was paramount in giving the patient the best possible outcome. Carli realized she was thinking in terms of “the patient” because she simply couldn’t link Jillian’s name to any of this yet. She knew she might have to eventually, but the situation was still too new to go there tonight.

  Rob glanced at Jillian again to see if she wanted to take over and explain the particulars to Carli herself, but the pleading look Jillian sent him confirmed what he already knew. It was obvious that she wanted him to continue with the explanations, and Rob took a moment to collect his thoughts.

  “Carli, the surgeon had a cancellation the day after tomorrow so Jillian will be having the biopsy procedure on Thursday. Dr. Alston gave us the general instructions about not eating, as well as what time we need to be there on Thursday. Jilli has to report to the hospital tomorrow for a pre-surgery work-up, or at least I think that’s what she called it.”

  Carli immediately picked up on the “us” and “we” part of Rob’s explanation, and she breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Evidently Rob was planning on being involved, and it sounded like he’d taken an active role in the doctor’s phone call earlier.

  Carli glanced at Jillian again and asked, “Jilli, honey, what can I do for you right now? Have you eaten anything at all today?”

  Jillian nodded saying, “Yes, a little. Rob fixed omelets and I ate part of mine.”

  Although her brother was usually more the consumer rather than the cook, Carli knew that Rob could cook if he chose to. Carli was simply relieved that he’d been able to get Jillian to eat anything at all.

  Carli asked a few more questions, and then looked at the clock to check the time. Reid was at home with the girls, and she hoped that bath time had gone well. Pilar was usually no trouble at all, but Malaya on the other hand could be a stubborn handful at times. She and her dad butted heads on occasion, and Carli couldn’t help but look ahead to the teenage years with a sigh.

  “Jillian, do I need to go home and pack a bag, or are you coming home with me tonight? Better yet, we’ll just pack a bag for you to stay with us for a few days,” suggested Carli.

  It was a foregone conclusion that Jillian wasn’t going to be left alone through this, and Carli hoped her best friend realized that. Having Jillian come to their house would simply be easier because of the girls, but Carli was willing to do whatever Jillian needed at the moment.

  To the surprise of both women, Rob stood from his seat and looked at them saying, “Carli, I think Jilli should just go home with me. I know she doesn’t necessarily want to stay here at her mother’s house, so my house would be best. After all, you’ve got the girls and they’re a full time job.”

  Rob wasn’t fooling his big sister in the least. Carli knew that Rob was feeling protective of Jillian right now, and evidently that extended to making sure she wasn’t alone. Carli returned Rob’s look with a smile that said she understood where he was coming from. Rob simply shrugged one shoulder and looked away from his sister’s scrutinizing gaze. Carli could always see right through him, especially when it came to Jillian.

  Jillian looked at Carli and shrugged a shoulder, too. At the moment it really didn’t matter where she went, because she knew that sleep probably wasn’t going to happen tonight. Realizing they were waiting for her input, Jillian finally said, “Rob’s probably right, Carli. And no, I don’t want to be alone tonight, but you are busy with the girls.”

  Carli looked at her friend and shook her head. “I am never too busy for you, and you know that. Besides, the girls might be a good distraction for you right now.”

  “No, I think I’ll just go with Rob’s suggestion. I really don’t want to stay here tonight, but I’ll probably come back here tomorrow,” Jillian said.

  “Okay, if you’re sure that’s what you want to do, Jillian, then I guess I’ll go,” said Carli hesitantly.

  Truthfully, she was struggling with making herself walk out the door and leaving her best friend. Knowing that Jillian was hurting and scared caused Carli pain too, and she also knew Jillian all too well. Hurting and scared were two emotions that Jillian didn’t handle well at all. Since her parents’ traumatic divorce, Jillian had built some pretty high walls to protect herself from any kind of emotional hurt she couldn’t deal with. The only thing that had ever really breeched those walls was t
he pain of her tumultuous relationship with Rob.

  “Carli, please go home to Reid and the girls. I’ll stay with Rob tonight and then regroup tomorrow,” said Jillian with far more conviction than she was feeling. At the moment it felt like someone had sucked everything out of her leaving her feeling empty and void.

  Rob was finally able to convince his sister to leave, and he walked Carli to the garage. They’d decided it would be easier for her to drive Jillian’s rental car home rather than call Reid to pick her up. It simply wasn’t as easy anymore to run out at the last minute with twin toddlers in their lives now.

  When he returned to the family room, Rob found Jillian exactly where they’d left her. She was curled into the corner of the couch with the throw pulled around her again. Rob walked across the room and crouched down so he was eye level with Jillian. His gut twisted again at how pale and drawn her features were, and he just wished he could take away all of her pain tonight.

  “Hey, why don’t we go get your things and get out of here? Do you feel like packing an overnight bag, or should I just take your suitcase to the car?” he asked gently. Jillian seemed so fragile tonight, and it was almost foreign-like to think of her in those terms.

  “I really don’t feel like packing anything else right now, okay?” said Jillian absently. The thought of doing something as simple as packing a few clothes seemed monumental right now.

  “Sure, we’ll just take everything for now. I’ll get your bag, and then we’ll head on over to my place. I’ll be right back,” Rob assured her.

  Rising from his position, he leaned over first and placed a kiss on Jillian’s head. He was caught by surprise when Jillian reached out and caught his hand with hers. Glancing down, Rob saw the sheen of tears in her eyes again and automatically squeezed her hand in his.

  “Rob…thank you for this. For coming over the way you did…and for staying with me tonight,” said Jillian haltingly.

  Rob could hear the emotion in her voice preventing her from continuing.

  “Sweetheart, you don’t have to thank me, okay? We’re going to get through tonight, and then we’ll deal with tomorrow when it gets here.”

  Rob gave her hand one final squeeze before he released it and left the room. He was emotionally wrung out himself, but more than anything he just wanted to get Jillian settled at his house for the night. Rounding the corner, Rob realized he had no idea where she’d put her things. Jillian rarely if ever stayed here, and technically she stayed with Carli and Reid whenever she was in town. Lately, though, she’d spent most of her time with him when she was here.

  Backtracking, Rob returned to the family room to ask Jillian about her bag and stopped abruptly when he entered the room to find her laying curled into herself and crying quietly. With a shake of his head, Rob strode to the sofa and leaned over to scoop her up into his arms. At her feeble protest, he said, “Shh, it’s okay…I’ve got you, baby.”

  Rob lowered them down to sit until she’d calmed down again. Simply holding her was the only comfort he knew to offer at the moment, and Rob hoped it was enough. He was struggling with everything that was happening too, but his own feelings were shoved to the back burner because Jillian needed him to be strong for her.

  The sound of Jillian’s voice jolted Rob from his thoughts when he heard her say, “Rob, I’m ready to go. Can we just get out of here?”

  With a kiss to her head, Rob answered, “Yes, we can. Where are your things? It dawned on me that I had no idea where you’d put your things here at your mom’s.”

  Jillian sat up and turned to look at him. “I just set my case in the first room upstairs when I got here yesterday. It really didn’t matter since I never imagined that I’d be staying any longer than one night.” Her voice broke then, and Rob watched as Jillian lowered her head away from his gaze. Rob gave her a moment, and then gently tipped her face back to his.

  “Hey, I’m going to get your things and we’ll go. Do you want to meet me in the car?”

  “Yes, I’ll just meet you there. I’m just so tired, Rob. It feels like this day has lasted forever, and my head is reeling from everything I’ve heard,” said Jillian wearily.

  Rob stood and then set Jillian on her feet. With his arm around her shoulders, he led her from the room and toward the front door. “Grab your purse, and your phone, then go on out. I’ll be right there,” he promised.

  Rob waited until Jillian had walked out the door before turning to head toward the stairs. He found her bag where she’d told him it would be and then took time to gather up a few items he found lying around the room. Stepping into the bathroom, Rob grabbed Jillian’s personal items and stuffed them into the small travel bag he found on the counter. With both bags in hand, he made his way downstairs again and out to the car.

  Rounding the hood, he slid behind the wheel and glanced quickly at Jillian. She was sitting with her head back and her eyes closed, so Rob didn’t say anything. They had plenty of time to talk later, but at the moment Rob knew he just needed to get her home with him.

  Courage is being scared to death

  but saddling up anyway.

  -John Wayne

  Chapter Seven

  The sky was cloud covered on Thursday morning in keeping with the forecast of rain, as well as possible thunderstorms. Jillian climbed out of bed and looked around for Rob, but it was obvious he wasn’t in the room with her. Walking to the window, Jillian looked out and sighed heavily thinking the weather matched the tone for the day.

  Jillian stood looking out thinking over the past forty-eight hours since she’d made the phone call to Rob. He’d basically ushered her into his house and straight upstairs when they’d arrived here on Tuesday evening. They’d entered his bedroom, and Rob had led Jillian to the corner armchair with instructions to sit before he’d disappeared into the bathroom. Within moments, Jillian had heard the sound of running water in the large Jacuzzi tub, so she’d known then what his plan was. Rob had appeared again and silently led her into the bathroom before instructing her to strip. He’d stood by while she removed her clothes and Jillian was soon submerged in the warm, swirling water. Sinking further down into the warmth, Jillian sighed as the persistent chill she’d had all day slowly eased from her body.

  Rob had left the bathroom only to return a few minutes later with two glasses of their favorite chilled wine. Jillian had opened one eye just enough to watch as Rob dropped his own clothes onto the floor. When he was naked, he picked up the wine glasses from the counter and handed one to her before stepping into the tub himself. He’d sat behind her and pulled Jillian back to relax against his chest while they sipped their drinks. The two of them had sat quietly and finished their drinks without saying much of anything. Setting their glasses aside, Rob had eventually stepped out then slung a towel around his hips before handing Jillian one as well.

  They’d made their way silently to Rob’s bed where he’d taken their towels and dropped them onto the same chair Jillian had occupied earlier. Pulling back the covers, he’d motioned for Jillian to get in and then climbed in beside her. The minute her body settled into the familiar comfort of the mattress, Jillian sighed quietly and closed her eyes. She’d felt Rob shift onto his side behind her, and then his arm had snaked around to pull her back against him. As her eyes drifted shut, Jillian felt the soft kiss he dropped on her shoulder and heard him say, “Close your eyes, babe. I’ve got you.”

  Jillian had been shocked when she’d awakened the next morning and realized she’d actually slept for a few hours. As she lay there alone in bed, she knew Rob’s plan of a warm bath and a glass of wine had gone a long way in helping her to relax. After making her way downstairs, she’d found Rob in the kitchen where he had fresh fruit, bagels, coffee, and juice all waiting for her. Surprisingly, she’d even been able to eat a small portion and finished her coffee.

  After a quick call to Carli, Rob had then dropped Jillian off at the Brandt house for a few hours while he went to his office. He hadn’t told Jillian, but
Rob’s reason for going into work was to make arrangements to be off for the next two days. He’d gathered some files that he could work on from his home office, and then he’d told his personal assistant what was going on.

  Rob had driven back to Carli’s and walked in to find Jillian holding Pilar on her lap as his niece ate a snack. Malaya spotted him quickly, and then toddled over with her arms outstretched so Rob would pick her up. Tio Rob was always a sure bet for something fun, and he didn’t disappoint as he swung Malaya up into his arms. Carli heard one of her daughters’ high pitched giggle as she made her way downstairs and wondered what was going on. She walked into the kitchen to find Rob holding Malaya and tickling her belly as the toddler squirmed to get away.

  “Well, Tio Rob, you certainly know how to get them stirred up, don’t you?” asked Carli with a laugh.

  Rob had shifted Malaya upright in his arms and was patiently letting the little girl pat both of his cheeks. She went for his ears next, and then Rob had to call a halt to his niece’s antics when she moved on to his hair.

  “Hey, Malaya, por favor! Don’t pull Tio Rob bald before it’s time,” he said with a laugh.

  When she realized her fun was over, Malaya began squirming to get down and Rob set her back on her feet. He watched with a smile as she made her way to Jillian where she received a hug, as well as a fish cracker. Jillian’s undivided attention seemed to be focused on the two girls, and Rob was glad he’d called Carli privately about dropping Jillian off here today. He’d known the girls would keep her occupied which in turn would help keep her mind off of everything that was going on.

  Rob and Jillian had left Carli’s and then driven to one of their favorite spots in the city for lunch. Jillian hadn’t eaten much, but Rob decided to pick his battles because he knew her appetite was off, and understandably so. They really hadn’t discussed the upcoming biopsy procedure again, and Rob had decided to let Jillian bring it up when she was ready. Rob had been shocked at lunch, though, when Jillian had requested that he call his mom and ask Sylvia to meet them back at his place after her pre-op appointment was finished.