Living To Love You (Santos Family Series Book 4)

by KD Bryan

  Sylvia had arrived, and then basically been blindsided by the news they’d delivered. She’d wrapped Jillian up in her arms and essentially repeated everything that both Rob and Carli had already said. Jillian was not alone in this, and nor would she be regardless of the outcome. Sylvia reminded Jillian that she’d always been like a part of their family, and that’s what families did was support one another. It hadn’t been lost on Jillian that she or Sylvia either one had mentioned Jillian’s mom through their entire visit. Jillian had already decided she wasn’t going to bother contacting her mother unless it was absolutely necessary anyway.

  Walking into the bedroom, Rob found Jillian standing at the window looking out at the darkening sky. He paused for a moment before saying anything, and he realized she’d probably just gotten out of bed. They needed to leave for the hospital in another hour or so, and it didn’t look like Jillian had showered yet. She’d thrown on one of his t-shirts as usual when she’d gotten up, and Rob couldn’t help but appreciate the view of her long legs leading down to slim feet and red tipped toes. Rob walked up behind her and heard Jillian’s quiet sigh as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. They stood there quietly for a few moments with her head resting back against his chest until Rob finally broke the silence.

  “Hey, you need to get a shower, you know. We’ll need to head out in about an hour or so.”

  Jillian nodded saying, “I know. I was actually heading in that direction when I looked out the window. The clouds look so dark today…” her voice trailed off, and Rob planted a kiss on her hair.

  “Yeah, the weatherman says there’s a chance of thunderstorms later today, and definitely rain in the forecast. Hopefully it will hold off until we’re back home,” said Rob.

  He finally released Jillian from his hold and walked to the closet to find a pair of jeans to wear. Rob knew their stay at the hospital wasn’t scheduled to be long, but he wanted to be comfortable regardless. Rob had watched last night while Jillian went through her own things looking for something comfortable to wear today as well.

  Rob came out of the closet, and looking around he realized that Jillian had disappeared into the bathroom. He heard the shower running, and assumed she’d decided to start the process of getting ready. Today’s preparations would be short, however, since Jillian couldn’t wear any make-up, and her hair wouldn’t require her usual attention to details either. A nurse from the surgery department had given them further instructions on how to prepare for today’s visit when they’d reported there yesterday.

  After he finished dressing, Rob sat down on the end of the bed to tie his shoes and sighed quietly as his thoughts wandered to the evening before. After dinner, he’d led Jillian to the couch where they’d curled up together to watch a movie. Rob had made sure it was a comedy, though, since they definitely didn’t need anything sad or depressing to watch. As the movie ended Jillian turned to face him and before Rob knew it they were kissing and touching one another in their own familiar way. Their desire for one another still ran hot even after all their years together, and Jillian could still turn him on with just one touch.

  Taking a moment, Rob had pulled back and looking into her eyes asked gently, “Jilli? Are you sure, baby?” Rob knew where they were headed if things didn’t slow down, but he’d wanted to be sure that’s what Jillian really wanted.

  Jillian had looked at him for a moment before leaning in to kiss him again. When she finally pulled her mouth from his she’d whispered, “Roberto, take me to bed. Make love to me and make me forget, please.”

  They’d risen from the couch and walked to the bedroom where Rob had stripped out of his clothes. He’d turned to Jillian then and undressed her before falling onto the bed together in a tangle of arms and legs. Mouths seeking one another’s, Rob had felt the desperation in Jillian’s kisses as she’d urged him to take her. His hands had molded her body to his, and Rob had trailed his lips over every inch of her smooth skin as Jillian arched up and against him. Their love making had always been demanding and explosive, and they’d made love with a driving intensity before hitting their release together just a few minutes later. Afterwards, Rob had wrapped his arms around Jillian’s body and held her close to his own.

  Sometime in the night Jillian had awakened with Rob wrapped around her and breathing quietly beside her. She’d smiled her first genuine smile in two days when she realized that at least he wasn’t snoring in her ear like he often did. Of course he always denied her accusations about his little snoring problem, but she knew the truth. Settling down under the covers again, Jillian closed her eyes against the sudden sting of tears. Rob had been so good to her these past couple of days, and Jillian knew she’d never forget the care and compassion he’d shown her. Rob was her anchor, and she’d always known that somewhere deep inside.

  Their drive to the hospital later was quiet with Rob and Jillian both seemingly lost in their own thoughts. Rob parked when they arrived, and then took Jillian’s hand as they walked into the building. Jillian stopped at the desk to let the receptionist know she’d arrived, and all too soon she was called back by a nurse in green scrubs.

  When she stood to go, Jillian looked down at Rob with a frightened expression asking, “Aren’t you coming with me?”

  Rob stood without hesitation and took her hand in his again as they followed the nurse into a holding room. She left them with instructions for Jillian to change into the gown provided, and after getting Jillian settled onto the narrow bed in the room Rob took a seat in a nearby chair. A few minutes later, there was a quick knock before a man entered the room stating he was here to start the IV that would be used to administer the anesthesia medications Jillian would receive.

  Rob looked over after the technician walked out and asked quietly, “Hey, how’re you doing? I would ask if you need anything, but there’s not much I can get for you anyway.”

  Jillian gave Rob what sufficed as a smile today. “I’m good, really. I’m just ready to get this over with.” Rob watched as her face clouded with uncertainty and then he heard her say, “And then I guess the waiting begins.”

  Rob knew she was referring to the long days that stretched ahead as they waited for the biopsy results from today’s procedure. He stood to his feet and took the few steps needed to reach the narrow bed Jillian was laying on. Leaning over, Rob gave her a kiss on the lips and whispered, “Yes, the waiting begins, that’s true. But babe, we’re going to get through this, okay? I want you to believe that.”

  The sound of the door opening interrupted their hushed conversation as Rob glanced up to find Carli, his parents, and Rosita all entering the room. To his surprise, bringing up the rear was a very pregnant Melanie. His sister-in-law wasn’t due for another couple of months, but her belly belied that fact. Rob knew that Rico had even secretly asked the ultrasound technician if there wasn’t a hidden twin in there somewhere, but the technician had assured him she’d found no hidden “extra” baby.

  Jillian glanced around Rob’s head to see everyone filing into her room, and the sudden sting of tears had her blinking furiously as she struggled not to cry. Why she was surprised she had no idea, because Jillian knew it was simply a given that everyone would show up in full force for her today. It was just what the Santos family did, and she’d witnessed it many times in the past.

  Sylvia studied her middle son and sighed quietly to herself. Rob was leaning over the bed, and she suspected that he’d been trying to reassure Jillian before her procedure. One glance at Jillian told Sylvia she was right. The poor darling’s face was so pale, and Sylvia knew that Jillian was probably scared to death at the moment. Sylvia stepped up beside Rob and rested her hand on his back as he straightened. Her heart went out to both of them; the always strong young woman lying in bed, as well as her son who Sylvia knew loved Jillian.

  With a smile in place, Sylvia looked at Jillian asking, “Darling, how are you feeling this morning? We all wanted to be here for moral support…for you and Rob both of course.”r />
  Jillian glanced up at Rob and then over to Sylvia. “Syl, thanks, but you all didn’t have to come here today…” Her voice broke before Jillian could catch it, and she felt Rob squeeze the hand he was still holding.

  Carli and Melanie had taken up post on the other side of the bed and Melanie reached out to run her hand over Jillian’s shoulder. “Now, sugar, you should’ve known we’d be here. Where else would we be with you here getting this done?”

  Carli chimed in to add, “Of course we were going to be here today! We wouldn’t miss the chance to see Jillian Barnes, a.k.a. fashion icon, in a blue hospital gown. Oh, and not to mention the funny looking head-cover they’re going to put on you.”

  Despite the nervous clenching of her stomach, Jillian let out a small laugh that turned into a watery smile. “Very funny, Mrs. Brandt. Don’t you have children somewhere who you need to be with? And Mel, shouldn’t you be home resting and waiting on this baby?”

  Both women smiled in return as Carli grasped Jillian’s free hand in one of hers. “Yes, but Mel and I wanted to be here for you.”

  Before Jillian could respond the door opened again and the same nurse from earlier stuck her head in.

  “Miss Barnes, they’re here to take you to the OR,” stated the nurse with a smile.

  Jillian glanced up at Rob who was still holding her hand and noticed the grim expression on his face. Suddenly, she realized how hard this whole thing was for him too, and Jillian gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before responding to the nurse.

  “Yes, I’m ready…or as ready as I’ll ever be,” Jillian said quietly.

  Sylvia took matters into hand when she stepped forward and dropped a kiss on Jillian’s head saying, “Darling, we’ll be right here when you return so we’ll see you then.”

  Looking at the others she instructed, “Alright everyone, tell Jillian good-bye and then we’ll move to the waiting area.”

  Rob threw his mom a grateful look for realizing he wanted a moment alone with Jillian before she went into surgery. He watched as the others dropped a kiss on either Jillian’s head or a cheek and murmured their own reassurances. When his Abuela Rosita stepped up to the bed, Rob saw her lay one hand on Jillian’s arm and then cross herself while mouthing a silent prayer.

  With everyone else out of the room now, Rob leaned over again and placed a kiss on Jillian’s lips. Looking into her eyes he saw the tears, and Rob ran a finger down her cheek.

  “Sweetheart, I’ll be right here as soon as they’ll let me see you again. I promise, okay? It’ll be over with before you know it,” whispered Rob against Jillian’s cheek.

  With a shuddering breath out, Jillian raised her eyes to his again. “I know, Rob. I’m…”

  “You’re what, baby? Tell me. You know you can tell me anything,” encouraged Rob. He knew she was scared…and he also knew that Jillian didn’t do scared. She was one of the strongest people he knew.

  “I’m, scared, Roberto. I want to wake up and this all be a bad dream,” said Jillian, her voice cracking.

  “I know you are, Jillian. I know. But we’re going to get through this, no matter what the outcome,” promised Rob.

  Although he’d repeated the same words several times over the past few days, Rob knew that Jillian couldn’t hear them enough. The unknown was terrifying in this situation, and Rob was beginning to think in some ways it was worse than knowing the true outcome.

  The nurse stuck her head in again saying, “It’s time to go.” Looking at Rob, she said, “The recovery room nurse will notify you by phone in the waiting area when Miss Barnes is out of surgery.”

  Rob dropped another gentle kiss on Jillian’s lips, and with one final squeeze of her hand he stepped back as two more people in scrubs entered the room. They efficiently had her ready to go within seconds, and then were pushing the bed through the doorway. The last glimpse Rob had of Jillian’s face made his gut twist again when he saw how pale she was and the way she was blinking rapidly against the tears still in her eyes.

  Rob sighed heavily as he stood alone in the center of the now empty room before bending to pick up the bag that contained Jillian’s things. As he made his way out to join his family, Rob’s thoughts matched Jillian’s from a few moments before. He wanted to wake-up, too, and this whole thing be a bad dream. Unfortunately, he knew they were all very much wide awake, and that realization scared the hell out of him more than any had in a very long time.

  Friends love through all kinds of weather,

  and families stick together in all kinds

  of trouble.

  Proverbs 17:17

  Chapter Eight

  It’d been four days since Jillian’s biopsy procedure, four days of desperately trying to keep her thoughts from fast forwarding to the day she would get the results. Rob returned to work on Monday, but only after Jillian insisted that he do so. His abuela Rosita arrived bright and early that morning to spend the day, and Rob had to hide a smile as she marched her tiny frame straight to the kitchen from the front door of his townhouse. He returned to the bedroom to check on Jillian one last time and found her in the bathroom standing in front of the mirror.

  Her long hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail, and she was wearing a loose tank she’d been sleeping in for comfort but nothing else. Rob schooled his own features when he realized she was studying the two biopsy incisions critically in the mirror with a frown. Actually, he’d been surprised at how non-invasive the areas looked when he’d seen them for the first time. The day after the procedure he’d helped Jillian change the dressings and was surprised to find two very neatly sutured, thin lines as the only evidence that something had been done. Other than the initial swelling, and some slight bruising, the areas looked slightly understated considering the results they could possibly produce in a few short days.

  Walking up behind her, Rob put his hands around Jillian’s waist and bent down to place a kiss on her neck. Breathing her in, it never failed to affect him whenever his lips touched her skin. By her own admission, Jillian had always been somewhat “vain” with regards to her body and outward appearance, and pampering herself had been an important part of it. She was devoted to the use of moisturizing creams, waxing, massages, and anything else that caught her attention to add to her regimen. Her devotion had paid off, and Rob smiled against her shoulder as his lips trailed across the softness of her skin.

  “Roberto, what are you smiling about back there? I’m looking at these sutures, and you’re grinning like a fool,” said Jillian with a grimace. There was just a hint of her old self in her tone this morning, and Rob breathed a sigh of relief at the sound.

  Reaching down, he eased the hem of her shirt up until his fingers made contact with the smooth skin of her butt cheek. Running his fingers around in a circular motion, he glanced up and their eyes met in the mirror. He saw the tell-tale look of surprise that flashed across her features before Jillian turned to look at him over one shoulder.

  Feigning innocence, Rob shrugged one shoulder and grinned. “What? Can’t a guy cop a feel of a gorgeous ass when it’s right in front of him? Right in front of him, and naked I might add.”

  With the first real sign of a smile in days, Jillian’s lips turned up before saying, “Is that what you’re doing… copping a feel? I’ve had better from you, Roberto, that’s for sure. What, are you losing your touch or something?”

  Rob threw his head back and laughed at her caustic remark thinking there’s my girl again. This was the Jillian he was used to, the witty comebacks and biting remarks. That gleam in her eye that said she could give as good as she got any day of the week. He’d missed that woman these past few days, and he hadn’t realized how much until just this moment.

  With his hands on her upper arms, Rob turned Jillian’s body around to face him and then slipped his arms around her waist. Holding her loosely in his embrace, he kissed the tip of her nose and then her lips. He could feel her hands resting on his upper arms, her concession to not being able to lift he
r arms fully to put them around his neck.

  “Well, Miss Barnes, for your information I am not losing my touch. For obvious reasons I’m taking it slow and just being considerate right now,” he responded with a smirk.

  “If it weren’t for those stitches, and the fact that Rosita is banging around in the kitchen right now, I’d show you that my touch is still working just fine, baby.”

  Jillian’s breath hitched at the sexy implication of his remark and she wished he could do just that. His touch, whether comforting as it had been these past few days, or sexual in nature which she loved, was something she’d been holding onto like a lifeline. Truthfully, being with Rob was the only thing keeping her grounded since hearing the doctor’s words last week. He’d been there for her every day and night without fail, equally supporting and caring for her. The thought had tears stinging the back of her lids and she lowered her gaze from his so he wouldn’t see. It felt like she’d cried more this past week than the rest of her life combined.

  Clearing her throat quietly, Jillian corralled her emotions and then raised her eyes to his again. “Well, there’s nothing more I’d like than for you to do just that, too. You do realize, though, that we’re up against two formidable forces, right? Stitches and Rosita…that’s not the ideal situation, Rob.”

  Rob blew out a breath and shook his head in agreement. “Yeah, dammit, I know. It sucks, but what can we do?” he asked with feigned annoyance. He was so thankful for Jillian’s seemingly improved mood this morning that he simply didn’t want anything dampening it again.

  Running her right hand up to his cheek, Jillian cupped his jaw and then drew his mouth down to hers. After a lingering kiss that involved a few sighs and moans, she released his mouth and settled back into his loose embrace.