Where I Found My Heart

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Where I Found My Heart Page 9

by Hansen, C. E.


  I almost fell over. I could feel the color drain from my face and I swayed. I know my legs gave way a little because Mark put the basket down and pulled me to him in a matter of moments.

  “Are you okay? Do you need to sit?”

  I shook my head, took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I just…” I closed my eyes and Dylan’s smile flashed on my eyelids like a second long movie.

  “I’m fine.” I said looking up into Marks face. I wanted to reassure him I was fine, that everything was as it should be, but I couldn’t. So I lied. Not something I typically do but in this case I considered it a necessary lie, or fib, if you may.

  The worry in his eyes faded and then…it was the smile I think was my undoing.

  “You sure?” His voice was full of concern.

  “Really I’m fine.” I said it but I wasn’t sure if I really believed it.

  “Okay.” I could sense he was wary.

  I smiled up at him. He reached down and picked up the basket and with his free hand held mine as we ambled away from the car. I looked around and took in the beauty of the landscape as we walked a few more seconds.

  I could feel his eyes on me the entire time.

  I felt like an idiot. I was embarrassed by my reaction to those simple, very common, words. But I knew with every step we took he was studying me, watching me.

  We finally stopped and Mark set the basket down. Opened the side compartment and pulled out a large tablecloth. He flipped it up in the air and I watched as the muscles in his shoulders and back, not to mention his arms flexed, as he let it fall silently to the ground. I removed my shoes and placed one at the two corners closest to where I stood. Mark followed suit.

  “Please sit.” He pointed. “Make yourself comfortable.”

  I sat down cross-legged on the tablecloth and watched as Mark opened the top lid of the basket and pulled out a bottle of wine. It was in a strange looking bucket. One that looked like one of those iceless ice buckets I’d seen in a Sharper Image catalog or the likes. He lifted the bottle and I watched the beads of condensation slowly drip down the side as he inserted a corkscrew opening it. Then reached in pulling out two wineglasses pouring us each a glass.

  “Pinot Noir. I hope you like it.”

  “There aren’t two many wines I don’t like.”

  Spoken like a true Irishwoman.

  I took the glass from him, and his fingers brushed lightly against mine. I squeezed my eyes closed and physically held back the shudder I was on the verge of having. It knew I’d had a visceral reaction to the warmth of his touch and I lowered my head and sipped the wine before he noticed I was blushing yet again. “It’s very good. Thank you.”

  “I thought this might be a little nicer than sitting in a restaurant.” He took a sip of his wine. “It’s far more quiet and definitely more casual.”

  “It’s beautiful.” I thought for a second before continuing. I looked up into the sky, “Now I see why there needs to be a better adjective than beautiful.”

  “I’ll drink to that.” He said as he sipped his wine.

  Next from the magic basket he removed two stakes with three brightly colored rings and plunged them into grass next to where we both sat. I watched through narrowing eyes as he placed his glass in the ‘holder’ before letting out a small laugh.

  “You thought of everything didn’t you?”

  “I certainly hope so. Would be a hell of a drive back if I forgot something.”

  I did as he did and placed my wine glass in the holder.

  “So what did you bring for us to eat?”

  “Ah, the lady has an appetite?”

  “I do. And besides, I’m dying to see what else you pull out of that basket.”

  “Well, sit back, relax and enjoy the show.” He chuckled and he waved his arms over the basket mocking a magician.

  I took another sip of my wine. “I like this.” I held up the glass, “But the show…well, what can I say?”

  “I thought you might.”

  And yes…he did it again. Dear Lord, I wanted to scream out, ‘please don’t do that! Please don’t smile at me like that’.

  It made me feel odd, uncomfortable, like I wanted to move but was paralyzed. I know it was strange, but in a good way. As if that could possibly make any sense.

  Next out of the magic basket was a round of Brie cheese, golden brown from having been baked, and a Tupperware containing fresh apricot jam. He spread a small amount on a piece of chewy Italian bread, topped it off with the jam and attempted to feed me. Embarrassed I intercepted his hand and took the bread. To cover my clumsy attempt of avoiding intimacy I bit into the bread.

  “This is wow…great.” I said with my mouth full. I swallowed, “I love Brie but never had it like this.”

  Next to ‘appear’ was thinly sliced cured sausage. It paired perfectly, savory and sweet. He had quite the palate. I was impressed, or should I say the former me, the one that loved to cook and experiment in the kitchen, was impressed.

  “I have to say the selection so far is quite impressive. I can’t wait to see what’s next.” I was beginning to relax and enjoy the experience. And that is exactly what this was—a frightening, exhilarating, somewhat liberating experience.

  He did it again, but only my heart jumped in my chest this time, my eyes remained open instead of slamming shut. I was proud of myself, baby steps.

  He pulled out two plastic square boxes; one blue, one red and placed them in the center of the tablecloth.

  “Mmmm. Is this a game? Am I supposed to guess?”

  “No. You’re supposed to relax and enjoy. I wanted to do this.” He smiled slightly before turning his attention to the boxes. “You could say I’m trying to…what’s the saying…the way to her heart is through her stomach.”

  I nearly spit my wine out.

  “I think the saying is a way to a man’s heart…”

  “What…women don’t eat?”

  “You have me there.”

  “I hope this has you.” He lifted a foil-lined pouch from the red box and a bowl from the blue box and set them on top of the platter he’d pulled out.

  “Are you sure you’re not a frustrated magician?”

  “I’d like to think I am making magic.”

  Opening the foil packet he shimmied it and several pieces of fried chicken fell out, crisp pieces fell off and slid into place and I could see the steam rising from them.

  “I am totally in awe of you right now.” I was being honest. Maybe that made up for the fib I told earlier.

  “I’ll let you in on a little secret…” He did it again, damn that smile and those perfect white teeth. “It was my plan from the start. Make you awestruck by my culinary skills.” That was followed by a laugh. The deep, rich sound combined with that killer smile had my extremities tingling. I hadn’t had that feeling for so long I mentally pushed back the building guilt and smiled as wide as he did.

  Next the bowl…I think my heart nearly stopped when I saw what was in that bowl.

  “This is my special recipe. Took me yea…a lot of time to perfect.”

  I felt like I was caught in a time zone, like the Twilight Zone where two worlds collide and people switch places with their counterparts.

  Mark took a healthy scoop and dropped it on my plate. Then held up the platter with the chicken.

  “This is what I like to call an informal meal, just grab whatever you want. There’s more where that came from.”

  I didn’t hesitate. I picked a leg and a breast from the platter using my fingers and sunk my teeth in, tearing the meat from the bone. I was amazed how hot and crispy it still was. Even after all the traveling.

  I had to admit. It was most definitely the best fried chicken I’d ever eaten. It didn’t take me long to finish that leg. My attention so directed on the chicken I hadn’t noticed he filled his plate and was leaning back watching me intently.

  When I realized I was eating like I hadn’t in days, I picked up the napkin and wiped my mouth
vigorously.

  “Sorry, that was amazing.” I licked my lips and teeth. I scooped a forkful of potato salad and nearly spit it out.

  No, it didn’t taste bad.

  On the contrary.

  It was the best I’d ever had and I slid down that slippery slope and remembered the last time I’d eaten potato salad almost as good.

  “Well?” He was waiting for my opinion, but at the moment I was somewhat speechless. “You didn’t like it, did you? It’s okay. I can take it.”

  “No, it’s not that. It’s…” I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. So I didn’t. “It is the best damned potato salad I’d ever tasted.”

  He seemed skeptical, like he didn’t quite believe me, but forking it into my mouth like I was starving told another story. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was and…I hadn’t had potato salad that good since I dropped mine…

  “Glad to hear that. For a minute you looked like you were about to…”

  “It’s fantastic.” I cut him off and I said what I thought.

  He raised his eyebrows in feigned surprise and again I felt my face redden.

  “This is that good.” I pointed to the blob on my plate.

  He took a bite of chicken and washed it down with some wine. “I think it’s the best batch I’ve ever made.”

  Okay. That was it. I’d had enough.

  I sat up straight.

  Chapter 21

  “What’s wrong?”

  When I didn’t answer he asked again.

  “Did I say something? What’s wrong?”

  “This whole thing, this,” I held my arms out and over my head, “it’s like some crazy jazzed up déjà vu.” I didn’t know what was happening but I honestly thought I was losing my mind.

  “Dylan?” I stared hard into his blue eyes like I was trying to see beyond them.

  “Reny, are you all right. You’re pale again.”

  “Something is happening. I don’t know if it’s just me, but this whole thing is like some…I don’t know. The cooking, the potato salad, ‘perfect day for a picnic’. What are you doing to me?”

  He had the most confused look on his face and I almost felt sorry for him. I would have if I weren’t having a nervous breakdown right now. I felt my whole body tremble.

  “It is a perfect day for a picnic.” He tried to lighten the mood by smiling crookedly.

  “You don’t understand. This is Dylan. This whole day.”

  “Dylan?”

  “Yes. I don’t know what’s happening but it feels strange. I feel strange.” I clenched my fists and looked around. It was as if I didn’t recognize where I was.

  “You’re right. I don’t understand.” He took another sip of his wine, his eyes never leaving mine.

  “It’s like I can’t let go. He’s everywhere and no where. And the guilt. Holy shit, the guilt. Hell, it replaced the blood in my veins. I feel it coursing through me right now.”

  “Reny?” He leaned closer.

  “I know, I’m pale…I sound like I’m totally crazy. But you know what? You might be…”

  Before I could even blink, Mark leaned into me and before I could react his lips covered mine.

  To say I was surprised would be a damned understatement. I was floored…well, would have been if I weren’t already sitting on the ‘so called’ floor.

  His mouth was warm, gentle, searching. It was as if he were testing the waters. I closed my eyes. I don’t know why but the tactile feeling superseded the visual right now and I was feeling a bit high.

  I felt his hand, first on my shoulder, on the back of my head. His other hand joined forces and together they caressed the side of my head as his mouth slightly parted. His breath rushed into my mouth and I was intoxicated. He tasted of wine, and…for lack of a better word, man; so strong, so sensual, so needed. It was then I finally grasped that I needed this. I needed him. I needed to be kissed. I needed to be held and…I needed to be loved, feel loved.

  I didn’t want him to stop. Like, ever.

  I felt something soft between my fingers and realized I had thrust both hands into his hair. The silky feel between my fingers sent tingles throughout my whole body.

  His thumb traced my cheekbone to my chin and I closed my eyes. I was both afraid to continue and afraid to stop.

  “Please.” I spoke against his lips. I think that was my voice. I sounded so desperate.

  He lowered his head and nuzzled his mouth next to my ear, settling in between my neck and shoulder.

  “Please?” He mumbled against my neck. “Do you want me to stop?” He breathed. His breath fanned across my neck.

  “No.” Did I actually say that?

  He lowered me onto my back and propped himself above me. I robotically pulled my top over my head. His sharp intake of air sent shivers down to my toes. His hand slowly, softly, like he was afraid I’d break, pulled my bra straps down my shoulders and pushed the delicate fabric down, exposing my breasts.

  I nearly jumped out of my skin when he lowered his mouth to my nipple and gently sucked. He turned his attention to my other breast and alternated between gently sucking and licking.

  I felt a dull throb in my core, which slowly built inside until I was literally writhing underneath his propped up body.

  He undid the button and lowered the zipper of my jeans, and moved. I opened my eyes to find him kneeling over me. Using both hands he hooked his thumbs under my jeans and slowly pulled them over my hips, then my thighs. His eyes raked over my body like I was water and he was thirsty as all hell. I felt the fresh air caress my skin. I don’t know how or when but I lifted both legs out of the jeans.

  He stood up and unbuttoned his shirt. I looked, unable to turn my eyes away, as he pulled it off. He opened the button on his jeans and lowered them to his ankles, then stepped out.

  I felt like I was thrust into a harlequin romance, he stood above me looking every bit the Greek God, his shoulders broad and strong. His strong muscular chest tapered down to tight abs. His hips were, well they looked damned good. The light feathering of hair on his chest led a trail down his torso and stopped short of his pelvic bone. I looked at him, really looked at him. He was erect, thick and long. The tip covered in a sheen, glistened. He held it in his hand for a moment and realized right then I wanted nothing more right now than his body covering mine, and him inside me.

  “Mark.” I whispered.

  Without a word he lowered himself to the ground between my legs and kneeled. He lifted my leg and ran his tongue from the insole of my foot down my leg, all the way to where my thighs met. I shuttered. He did the same to my other leg and just as languidly. I was tense, on edge…but for the life of me, I didn’t want him to stop.

  He lifted my leg over his shoulder, dipped his head and planted small kisses from hip to hip, stopping in the center. I gasped when he began to leave a trail of kisses down over me until he found what he was searching for. Taking his hands he widened my legs and kissed me. He pulled my other leg up over his other shoulder and ran his tongue along the rim before delving into me.

  I clutched the tablecloth between my fingers and pulled, the sound of silverware colliding with dishes were lost on Mark. He licked and sucked gently, setting my body and soul on fire. I moaned, my head lolled side to side. I felt it. I felt it before he knew and raised my hips up to meet his mouth. An ungodly sound escaped between my lips and I tilted my head back as far as I could.

  I prayed it wouldn’t end. I wanted to feel this over and over and over again.

  Mark raised his body to a kneeling position, my legs still over each shoulder. He held his erection in his hand and guided himself into me.

  I took a deep breath as he entered me, one magnificent inch at a time. I felt it, each sense in my body heightened as he lowered his body onto me and the warmth of his skin met mine. I let my legs slide down his body and wrapped them tightly around his midsection, pulling him closer to me.

  My hips moved keeping tempo with his, his lips rolled over my breasts alterna
ting between kissing and nibbling. I was in a place that existed in another life, so long ago. But right now I was joyous beyond words.

  I took from him. I took everything he had.

  I clung onto his body afraid the connection would be lost and I would feel as empty as I was. Alone. Nothing. Just air and dreams…memories. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his lips to mine. I licked them with abandon before driving my tongue into his mouth. I found myself sucking gently at the soft flesh of his lips. I was alive. I was alive and I didn’t want to let that go.

  The climax deep inside climbed up my limbs and as it settled in the center of my being, radiated outwards. I screamed. I don’t know what I said, and I didn’t care. He thrust inside me, panting, licking, kissing, mumbling words of desire and love against my mouth...I needed this so badly.

  I felt the surge of his warmth as it filled me from the inside. His beautiful face contorted in ecstasy and relief as he continued to throb inside me. Spent, he buried his head, sweaty with exertion, between my neck and shoulder. Where his lips kissed my soft flesh.

  The release so perfect, so desired, was all I could think of. My mind spun into a thousand different directions and scattered. Exploding into the sky, showering down on the grass, the flowers and the trees with all the love and want I’d been holding onto for so long.

  It was a perfect day for a picnic.

  Chapter 22

  “That was amazing.” His breath tickled my sensitive skin.

  “It was, and so were you.”

  “I can’t speak for you, but I can’t think of anything I’d rather do…nothing.” He said as he pulled out of me and sat up. He stood and pulled his pants on, but not before handing me my clothing. I pulled my bra down, which had rode up my body and was now over my head.

  “I must look…”

  “You look radiant. Beautiful. You look like that word that hadn’t been discovered yet.” He buttoned his shirt.

 

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