April Loves Black Coffee: First Impressions

by Solangel, T. B.

  From the pockets of my gray sweatshirt, I extract my cell phone and scroll through the recent calls list. Taking a deep breath, I press the call button.

  “May,” he answers on the second ring. His voice is a cool, breezy air that floats from the other line to my ear.

  I bite my lip, closing my eyes. “Hi Sangwoo.”

  “I have been waiting for your phone call.”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes?”

  “I’m in.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  He takes my acceptance with ease and minimal surprise. Perhaps the gang leader is used to having every offer of his taken. Whatever the case may be, I feel an incredible mixture of anxiousness, fear, and dare I say it–excitement when I hang up the phone with Choi Sangwoo. His instructions echo in my mind long after our phone conversation ends. Sangwoo wants me to meet him first thing tomorrow morning at his work. He promises to text message me the address of the building, and requests that I dress in an all-black ensemble.

  I walk home in a state of limbo and jumbled thoughts. My heart races a mile a minute as I contemplate the magnitude of what I have done. I will be joining a gang, and not just a simple street gang that the media often depicts to be senseless troublemakers and territorial minions. I will be joining a prestigious gang that belongs to a hierarchy beyond average comprehension. I may not know what the next six months of my life will be like, but I am sure I will be at the epicenter of it all–if I am going to work with Choi Sangwoo.

  Deep down, I know it’s childish to believe that this will work out in a favorable manner. I have no special skills to offer someone of Choi Sangwoo’s caliber. I entertain the thought so there will be reasonable cause for the money I am asking of him. My thoughts are weary and dreadful, strife with apprehension. Questions about what I will be doing with him, along with other possible complications such as hiding it from Eunhye and explaining it to Lina, bombard my mind.

  But at the present moment, thoughts jostle out of the way as soon as I enter my apartment.

  The sound of Lina vomiting in the bathroom permeates the dead silence.

  “Lina?” I call for her.

  When I reach the bathroom, my cousin has her arms around the pristine toilet. Lina’s lengthy hair hangs in a halo around her neck and back. Hair tie, my conscience grumbles.

  “Where have you been?” Lina manages to ask me in the middle of gagging. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying too much.

  “I went for a jog,” I lie. I sit down behind her and grab a fistful of Lina’s hair. I watch my cousin lurch forward to dry heave. The contents inside the toilet are clear. “Are you sick?” I ask in a subdued tone.

  “I don’t know,” Lina groans. “If I keep feeling like this, I need to go to the doctor Saturday.”

  “Saturday,” I mumble as Mayhem’s words float back to me. I remember the way his eyes lingered on me. My stomach feels the fresh batch of butterflies setting in. I do not see the malice and violent Mayhem everyone talks about. Perhaps I can only see the charisma and dangerous allure. But then again, the violent spark that he’s infamous for resonates in his entire being. I shouldn’t forget what he’s capable of. Maybe he finds my stupidity about his world adorable. He’s only entertaining me until he devours me for not paying him back.

  Stop thinking May. Just stop. My conscience shakes her head.

  I rub Lina’s back. “We have to pay Mayhem back on Saturday,” I remind her gently.

  “Shit,” Lina groans at the uncomfortable thought. “There’s no way I can get even half of thirty thousand dollars at this point.”

  “That’s why I’m going to help you,” I tell Lina. “I’m going to meet with Choi Sangwoo at his office tomorrow and hopefully work something out.”

  Lina is shaking and trembling. “What do you mean?”

  Before I can help myself, I disclose the details of the impending contract to my cousin. After explaining to her what happened last night, I am breathless at the end.

  “Join his gang?” Lina asks me with disbelief shining in her eyes. “What are you going to do for him? You don’t have a mean bone in your body May. How are you going to be a gangster?” When Lina says it aloud, it sounds even more ridiculous.

  I shake my head. “I don’t know. He’s adamant about making me part of the team. I don’t have any skills that are even remotely gangster.”

  That brings a smile to Lina’s face. “He likes you.”

  The thought strikes me as foreign. “No, he doesn’t.”

  “Why else would he forge a new job position and want to be near you for the next six months?” Lina questions.

  “I don’t know,” I tell her quietly. I do my best to hide my true emotions. I don’t want Lina to know that I am thinking about Sangwoo’s Dead Girl. It’ll bring everything too close to home and full circle.

  Suddenly, the front door to the apartment opens. I can hear Eunhye’s voice calling for me. “May? I’m home. Where are you?”

  Crap. I look at the clock above the bathroom mirror. It is already five o’clock.

  Horror flashes across Lina’s face. She spits into the toilet and flushes the clear contents down.

  I jump and motion for Lina to close the bathroom door behind me. I am out of the bathroom and into the living room in a matter of seconds.

  Eunhye is still in her scrubs, but she’s holding a handful of groceries. True to her word of having a family dinner tonight, my mother looks like she bought the whole grocery store. Eunhye smiles at the sight of me, but then a questionable look crosses her face. “Everything okay?”

  “Lina’s not feeling well,” I tell her the partial truth.

  “Oh? Lina’s here?” Eunhye makes her way over to the kitchen counter and drops off the grocery bags. She washes her hands at the sink and then proceeds to the bathroom.

  “Don’t worry mom, it’s ok. She’ll come out when she’s ready.” I walk around the counter to become a human obstacle. “How are you? How was work?”

  Eunhye glances at the bathroom with a worried expression, but addresses my question before mentioning Lina again. “Stressful. If it’s not the patients, it’s the paperwork. What is she sick with?”

  I start taking the ingredients out of the grocery bags, wary that if I make myself busy Eunhye will join me. She bought mostly vegetables and fruits along with the main dish. “Oh, I love salmon. Are we grilling or frying it tonight?” I pick at the first slab of salmon in its package.

  “Frying.” Momentarily, Eunhye forgets about Lina and heads over to the cupboard for a pan. She rinses the pan under the sink first. “I was thinking something healthy and less heavy on the stomach tonight. Besides, Yuna loves salmon.”

  “I guess I’ll start chopping the carrots and the bell peppers,” I offer. I wander over to the kitchen’s hanging rack for the chopping board. Then, I retrieve a knife from our kitchen tool cabinet. I’m hopefully that cooking will be busy enough to distract my thoughts.

  “So what is Lina sick with?” Eunhye steers the conversation back. She props the cooking pan onto the stove. Next, Eunhye expertly tosses in some cooking oil to prepare the pan for the salmon.

  Just as I am preparing to dish out another lie, Lina enters the kitchen with a guarded look on her face.

  “Hi aunt Eunhye. I think I have the flu,” Lina sniffles deliberately. Lina has her hands on her stomach, and the pale colors of her cheeks do the rest of the convincing.

  “Hi honey.” Eunhye approaches Lina with her arms out. She grabs Lina into a big bear hug. “I was just talking to your mother today. She didn’t mention you were sick.”

  “It just hit me this morning. May and I were going for a jog and I doubled over.” Lina has always been the better liar. She gives me a look over my mother’s shoulders.

  I focus on cutting the carrots. I place the small orange pieces in a line and bring the knife down in a simultaneous manner. For some reason, I am on a mission of cutting the carrots in a precise manner.

  “Can I help wit
h anything?” Lina offers. She looks around the kitchen with an uninterested facial expression. It is a matter of social and familial respect for her to ask, but we both know it is not in Lina’s heart right now to help with dinner.

  “No, no. You just sit down. Tell me what’s going on.” Eunhye motions for Lina to take the nearest bar stool. Eunhye returns to her place by the stove and places the first slab of salmon into the sizzling pan.

  Lina looks at me and I shake my head slightly. It’s an indication that I have not disclosed any information to Eunhye. It is better to go with the flow and avoid any signs of suspicion.

  “Are you planning to attend college in the fall?” Eunhye launches into the usual topic with Lina.

  A balloon of relief expels from Lina’s concerned face. She produces the same, unchanged answer about college not being for her. Not much has changed since high school graduation when it comes to Lina’s answers about her college decision.

  Eunhye listens with sympathy, but offers advice on vocational schools. As per usual, Lina shoots them down one-by-one; she would rather invest her early years in gaining experience than flipping through textbooks. Her stubborn justifications run for the duration of my vegetable prepping and Eunhye’s salmon frying.

  Eventually, Eunhye ends the aunt-niece banter with, “I wish I could go back to your age when life was what you made of it. No one is pushing you to be a doctor or lawyer Lina. But a college education can go a long way when you’re older.”

  Lina shrugs and apologizes to Eunhye for being the black sheep in the family. Eunhye laughs and the two of them exchange an inside joke that even I am not aware of. Soon, the conversation shifts onto lighter topics. Eunhye is both interested and entertained when we start talking about Sansachun and Mr. Chun. When she finally asks about The Trax, I tell my mother it is closing in a week.

  Eunhye is ecstatic at the news and nearly burns the fourth slab of salmon. “I’m sorry May, but I am glad that place is closing up. It’s definitely going to lessen my worries and anxieties about you going to work every night.”

  Lina lets out a small chuckle. She starts setting up our small kitchen table with plates, napkins, and utensils.

  “It’s not that bad mom,” is my half-hearted reply. I start to feel the different shades of defense coloring my voice. “Nothing’s ever happened to me.”

  “Thank goodness!” Eunhye lets out a disbelieving comment. “Maybe I can get you a position at the hospital. I think we need a candy striper in the geriatrics department. You’d be working with the older generation, and it’s nothing but humbling.” Eunhye gives me a look that tells me she thinks I need some grounding.

  If only I can tell her I already have another job lined up. Yeah mom, I’m going to be a gangster soon! My intuition is rolling on the floor, clutching her stomach as she laughs with hiccups.

  I look up to see Lina flash me a secretive look. My partner-in-crime finds my mother as humorous as I do.

  Fortunately, the doorbell saves me from having to continue this conversation.

  “I’ll get it.” Lina bounds towards the front door.

  “Hello!”

  Aunt Yuna is the first one through the door with uncle Dom shuffling behind her. Yuna is holding a bottle of wine in one hand and fruit tart platter in the other. In many ways, my only aunt from my father’s side is a lot like him. Yuna has the same brown eyes and soft nose on a delicate face structure. She stands three inches taller than the rest of the other female family members. Yuna is a blunt personality with specific habits and believes that the world should operate accordingly.

  My uncle Dom, on the other hand, looks like a typical retired wrestler. He sports a short haircut and signature black belt. Since his retirement from the wrestling world, Dom’s passionate about business since he owns a small hardware store at the center of town.

  At the sight of a pale Lina, Yuna scolds her only daughter. “Where have you been? I called you ten times today. Why are you so pale?”

  “I’ve been here all day mom.” Lina reaches up to take Yuna’s hand off her forehead. Lina makes a face at her anxious mother.

  “You know the rules Lina. One phone call is all it takes,” Dom chimes in.

  “It’s my fault uncle Dom. I kept her busy today with errands.” I offer a small smile to diffuse the attention.

  Lina mutters a, “thank you” behind me as Yuna and Dom direct their attention to them.

  “Hi May. How are you?” Dom gathers me up into a hug, wrestler style.

  “I’m good. It’s nice to see you.” I return Dom’s hug just as Yuna joins the latter half of our lackluster group hug.

  “Oh, you lost weight.” Yuna always makes it a point to comment on my current physique. She kisses the right side of my cheek. “It’s good to see you honey.”

  “It’s good to see you too.” I return her hug before she abandons me for Eunhye.

  “I smell salmon!” Yuna and Dom make their way over to the stove where Eunhye is waiting with open arms.

  More hugs exchange between the adults. We are a big hugging family. Dom and Yuna have always been particularly fond of Eunhye, my father’s first and only wife. Despite the bad decisions that my father made Yuna was there when everything in the immediate family crumbled, and even voted in favor of Eunhye over her own brother. Aunt Yuna usually bases her judgment on the events that happen rather than familial ties.

  I am very blessed to have such forgiving family members.

  “Alright, let’s have some dinner.” Eunhye shuts off the stove and begins dishing pieces of the salmon onto plates.

  “Let me help you.” Dom is already by my mother’s side.

  Suddenly, the kitchen is bustling with movement. Lina finishes setting up the kitchen table while Yuna scolds her for not watching her health. I open the wine bottle and pour each adult a glass. Lina and I resign to drinking water. We have to be on our best behavior.

  By the time we all sit down, the small kitchen table is overflowing with plates of food. Yuna sits next to Dom while Lina and I sit at the edge of the table. Eunhye is at the head of the table; her eyes are glossy and a content smile comes across her lips when she surveys the food and her company.

  “I want to thank you for taking the time to come over for dinner. I know we’ve all been so busy,” Eunhye addresses her gratefulness first. She reaches for Yuna’s hand who flashes her megawatt smile.

  “Of course Eunhye.” Dom smiles kindly at my mother.

  Eunhye swells with emotions as she points to the feast in front of us. “Please, let’s eat.”

  Lina begins piling food into her plate, undoubtedly hungry from being sick all afternoon. Yuna serves some rice onto her plate, glancing at my cousin’s passive facial expression.

  “How are things going for you May? Are you taking summer school?” Oblivious to the exchange going on between his wife and daughter, Dom is picking at his piece of salmon, dragging it across his plate towards the marinated sauce.

  “No. Not this summer. I’ve been working to save up for college in the fall,” I answer him, thankful for the easy question. I take my first bite into the salmon. “This is delicious mom.”

  “It is Eunhye. I always tell you your talents are going to waste at a hospital. You should open a restaurant. People would be standing outside in a line.” Yuna is inspecting the salmon before popping a piece into her mouth.

  “Ah, I miss having family around.” Eunhye smiles in response to the compliment. She checks on Lina, who is awfully silent. “Everything ok Lina?”

  Lina is chewing away at her food. A closer introspection reveals that my cousin is chewing her bottom lip more than her salmon. “Yes. The food is delicious.”

  Eunhye beams as she hands Lina the plate of vegetables. “You definitely need to eat more of this then. By the way, where is that boyfriend of yours? Spyder?”

  A dark look flashes across her face. “He’s busy tonight,” Lina replies shortly.

  Yuna watches Lina with apprehension. “He spen
t the last couple of days at our house. His entire cheek was nearly sliced open.”

  Eunhye’s eyes widen in response. “What happened?”

  “He won’t tell us, but it’s definitely those hoodlums that he hangs around with.” Dom casts a dark look at Lina. “And of course she doesn’t know what happened to him.”

  I force myself to continue eating. From Yuna to Dom’s facial expression, I know that my aunt and uncle know something is wrong. Lina is skating on thin ice with them.

  “So where is he now?” Eunhye pursues the topic further.

  “He went home yesterday,” Yuna answers. She looks at Lina. “Did you two get into another argument?”

  “No,” Lina answers shortly. As though she is a seasoned actress, Lina takes a gulp of her water and says, “He has his own life to live. We’re not attached at the hip.”

  Dom narrows his eyes at his only daughter, but doesn’t say anything. Yuna shakes her head in response.

  “Oh you two,” Eunhye laughs. “Adolescent romance is very fleeting. One day you’re happy and the next day you want to break up. You make up to do it all again.”

  “I wish you would break up with him Lina. He really is bad news,” Yuna comments. The disdain laces in her tone of voice. “He doesn’t have a real job and he is always hanging out with people who have no names and no reputable profession.”

  “And who would those be?” Eunhye leans forward in her seat.

  I can feel my scalp prickling before the answer is stated.

  “Gangsters, degenerates, the likes,” Dom hisses his disapproval.

  I glance at Lina. She has gone from passive to frustration. “Can we please talk about something else besides my love life? I’ve heard your opinions about Spyder a million times.”

  “So why don’t you do something about it?” Yuna rebukes her daughter. “Lina, we love you. You know that. We want what’s best for you.”

  Lina narrows her eyes at her mother. The hurt is easy to see in them.

  Eunhye clears her throat. “Yuna,” she says softly. “I’m sure Lina knows. She’ll figure out her own way. I’ve been telling May the same thing. I keep telling her to slow down her work days, but she’s quite the workaholic nowadays.”