April Loves Black Coffee: First Impressions

by Solangel, T. B.

  “I’m not a workaholic.” Taking the point from my mother to help change the subject and reduce the tension around the table, I chime in quickly.

  “You missed our last family dinner because of your second job.” Dom takes the liberty of reminding me. He winks at me, letting me know that he is on board with changing the subject.

  “Speaking of which, that god awful place is finally getting shut down.” Eunhye’s voice animates with interest.

  “Really?” Dom puts down his fork. “What happened?”

  Now, I have the attention of everyone at the table. Even Lina stares at me with surprise. I haven’t had the chance to tell my cousin the news.

  “A new owner is taking over,” I answer to the three pairs of eyes watching me. “That’s as far as I know. We’re closing by the end of the upcoming week.”

  “Tsk, tsk.” Yuna shakes her head. She picks up her glass of wine and looks over it with a weary facial expression. “In this type of economy, people are still buying and selling.”

  Eunhye finds this statement poignant. “The rich will always be able to buy and sell whatever they want. It’s a mystery that us little people can never understand.”

  “Well, I’d rather be poor and have my morals than those who kill and maim for their money,” Yuna scoffs in a disapproving manner. “Gangsters swarm that area anyway.”

  “Gah.” Lina chokes on her piece of salmon. She looks up from the table and mumbles, “Bone.”

  I carefully kick Lina’s right ankle beneath the table. She scrunches up her nose. Fortunately, the adults are engaged in their conversation about capitalism and work.

  Eunhye gives us the run down on what is going on at the hospital. Two new doctors have just transferred in, and the mortality rate has held steady for the past two months. When Eunhye asks about them, Dom volunteers that the small hardware shop he owns with Yuna is underwater.

  “People aren’t fixer-uppers or do-it-yourself anymore. Everything is technological now. Help is now a phone call away. Shopping can be done online.” There is stress running through Dom’s voice. He shrugs his shoulders to convey the notions are lost with him.

  I glance briefly at Lina to see her guarded eyes. She shakes her head lightly at me, indicating there’s no purpose for us to chime in. Now, the true reason for Lina’s debt surfaces clearly. My heart sinks a little deeper at the depth of my cousin’s problems.

  “If you need anything, let us know,” Eunhye offers quickly. She takes Yuna’s hand into her own. “We don’t have much, but we can help. We know the store is your sweat and tears.”

  “We’ll be fine Eunhye,” Yuna answers quietly. She steals a glance at Dom who remains tight-lipped.

  Dinner ends on quite the somber note. We finish out the fruit tart for dessert, and Yuna helps my mother with the dishes while Dom begins the inquisition about The Trax. He is naturally interested in businesses, including their development and demise. When the last dish hangs on the drying rack, Yuna bids Eunhye goodbye.

  “Have you heard from Hyun?” Yuna asks suddenly, setting everything into a standstill.

  The mentioning of my father’s name sends chills down my back.

  “Yuna,” Dom scolds her passively.

  “It’s ok,” Eunhye answers like a professional. “No. We haven’t heard from him since the last time we met at the therapy session.”

  “I’m sorry,” Yuna apologizes when she glances at me. “I don’t mean to bring it up like this. I’ve just been wondering where my brother is. I’m sorry, May.”

  “It’s ok,” I tell her softly.

  Lina is looking at me with an apologetic face. She glares at her mother. “Mom, can you please be more sensitive?”

  Yuna’s face reddens. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s been a while since we’ve heard from him. I’m worrying if he’s still alive at this point.”

  The dark thought, at the start of its inception, travels from Eunhye to me. I refuse to think that my absent father is deceased. But I also refuse to think about his existence.

  “We understand Yuna.” Eunhye’s face softens. The sadness and sorrow are still apparent in her eyes.

  “Let’s go.” Dom places a hand on Yuna’s shoulders as a gentle reminder.

  “If you hear anything, please let me know.” Yuna gives Eunhye an encouraging look. She grabs Eunhye for a departing hug.

  My mother returns the hug. Eunhye closes her eyes tightly.

  “Bye May.” Yuna turns to me next.

  “Bye.” I hug Yuna first and then find myself sandwiched between her and Dom.

  Lina hugs me next and whispers in my ears, “My mom can be so insensitive sometimes. I’m sorry. I will talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Bye. Text me if you need anything,” I whisper back.

  The look on Lina’s face does little to hide her broken heart. She gives me a final squeeze before receding into the background with her parents. Yuna and Dom fire rapid goodbyes at us when they step away from the door’s threshold. Eunhye and I wave goodbye to our relatives until they disappear out of sight.

  “It was nice to have the family over.” Eunhye closes the apartment door behind her. She lets out a heavy, exhausted sigh. The lines on her face press together in exhaustion. She doesn’t want to bring up what Yuna mentioned. I join Eunhye in sweeping our crap underneath the worn-out rug.

  “It was nice having them over,” I add shortly to my mother’s sentiment.

  “I’m exhausted honey.” Eunhye gives me a brief kiss on my right cheek. “Everything ok with you?”

  In her arms, I want to spill everything. I feel like a little child who wishes for her mother’s unconditional advice and comfort. Still reeling from Yuna’s reminder of my father, I also want to divulge to Eunhye the imminent issues I am tackling. I want Eunhye to hold my hands and guide me through this, but I know better. I should never involve the only parent in my life. I am afraid of Eunhye’s parental mindset and behavior. She will never allow me to pay back a gang lord by agreeing to join hands with another one. Eunhye will probably work triple shifts at the hospital to help pay back the loan rather than let me take matters into my own hands. I can’t bear the thought of the woman, who raised me as her own daughter and opened her heart unconditionally, doing so.

  I bite my tongue lightly and resign. “I’m just a little disappointed about The Trax,” I tell Eunhye the partial truth. “I know you don’t like it, but the job was helpful with money.”

  “Honey, there’s no need for you to stress about losing this job. When I said I’m happy the place is closing, I mean it. It’s dangerous working in that part of town. The last thing I ever want is for you to come across certain individuals.” Eunhye hits the nail on the head with her mother’s intuition. “Like I said, I can help you find something else. I know you want to save up money for college, but I’m here to help you. Don’t you ever forget that. You’re too independent for your own good.”

  “I know mom,” I tell her softly. Feeling as though I might just blurt out the truth any second now, I lower my eyes from her gaze.

  Eunhye examines me at arm’s length. It’s clear Eunhye wants to probe more, but the expression on my face disarms her somehow.

  “Yuna means well when she asked about your father today.”

  Almost immediately, the walls rise and cover my inner thoughts. “Please,” is all I can say.

  Eunhye’s eyebrows come together in question. “I know you don’t like to talk about him, but it’s ok to acknowledge him May. He will come home one day, baby.”

  “Please mom. I don’t want to talk about it.” I feel the vile building in my throat. I don’t want to choke on the emotions that surround my absent father.

  Eunhye looks as though I am cutting her off emotionally. She reaches up to smooth the right side of my hair. “Ok,” she says softly.

  “I’ll figure something out about work.” I attempt to reassure her, quickly changing the subject. “You should go to bed. I know you’re really tired.”
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  Eunhye looks torn, but she relents. “You’re right. Have a good night honey.”

  I force a tight smile on my lips as my mother turns down the hallway to her room.

  “Good night mom,” I call after her.

  When Eunhye’s door closes behind her, I resign to sitting on the couch. The thought of banishing myself to my dark room, when sleep is clearly a million miles away, is a difficult decision. I turn on the TV and the bright screen flashes on. I begin my routine of flipping through the channels, desperately trying to find something to distract myself with.

  My mind is too heavy to sleep. The thoughts of my random meeting with Mayhem ignite in my mind. His conditions and terms of the loan repayment exude socially immoral things. On top of that, I will be meeting with Choi Sangwoo tomorrow. How did my life go from zero to a hundred miles per hour?

  IT IS DARK AND HOT. The sensation is foreign. I am standing on a spinning plate. The darkness cloaks me, cascading in layers. I walk forward into the vast darkness, not sure of where I am going. All I know is I am desperate to escape this dark labyrinth. A shadow approaches me and my throat tightens. I reach out for him.

  Sangwoo. I want to say. He reaches out and his warm hands are on my cheeks. The lights flare behind us and I am lost in his embrace. Warm and tantalizing. I melt into his arms. Then, his lips are on my lips. They are soft and caressing. I open my eyes, looking into his eyes.

  My heart stops.

  It is Mayhem.

  I WAKE WITH A START. A warm blanket drapes around my shoulders, courtesy of Eunhye sometime in the night. I do my best to catch my breath. My eyes are blinking at a rapid pace to match my chaotic thoughts. Embarrassment colors the undertone of my thoughts. Why am I dreaming about Mayhem? I was lost in his warm, comforting embrace. I can almost taste the tones of his lips on mine.

  I wait for a couple more seconds to calm down before I drag myself off the couch and down the hallway to my bedroom. There is no time to dwell on my overwhelming dream. I have a meeting to get to. My knees feel like wet noodles. I grab my bathroom bag and disappear into the shower. I shower quickly and dress in an all-black ensemble–black shirt, black pants, and black shoes.

  Eunhye is still sleeping when I leave the apartment. On my way to the nearest bus stop, I check my cell phone and see Sangwoo’s distinctive text message in the inbox. The message is simple with the address to a business building located in the metropolitan part of town.

  I send Lina a good morning text message and she texts me back within seconds. Lina wasn’t able to sleep last night, and she agrees to tell Mr. Chun I am sick today. Lina promises to keep me posted on what happens at Sansachun. I call Mr. Chun next and leave him a voice message anyway, afraid that he might fire me. However, if I work for Choi Sangwoo I wouldn’t need to work two jobs to support myself. My thoughts run off tangent. Choi Sangwoo really is not an average employer if he wants to hire me on. There is no gangster bone in my body, blood, or skeleton. You’re just something to keep him entertained, my intuition taunts.

  As the bus continues en route to the elusive building, the anxiety and apprehension build up inside of me. When the bus finally stops at the nearest stop, I walk one more block. I expect the private building to be behind towering public ones, but to my pleasant surprise Choi International Inc., is a glossy building with baby blue and white tones. It is a long rectangular building with glass and marble encasing. It towers above its adjacent neighbors. I take notice that the neighboring buildings range from a national bank to an insurance group.

  Everything about the building is large and intimidating. I walk through the revolving glass doors. The large lobby bathes in the morning sunlight. High windows enclose the entire structure. Above the revolving door is a large magnetic shield; it buzzes slightly when I walk through. The thought that it is a state-of-the-art metal detector flashes through my mind.

  The building itself bustles with light foot traffic. Men and women wear professional attire, black on white. It looks just like a scene out of the movies where people are rushing off with manila folders while others are slowly trickling through the building with coffee in their hands.

  In the middle of the large lobby is a l-shaped counter. An attractive receptionist is standing behind it. Her hair twists in an elegant hairstyle out of her pale face in modern Audrey Hepburn style. She’s wearing a crisp white pencil skirt with the tail of her pink blouse tucked inside. The diamond studs in her ears match her expensive wristwatch. She stares at me as I approach the counter. Her lips press into a fine line as she asks, “Hello. How may I help you?” Her tone’s professional and clipped.

  “Yes. Hello. I have an appointment with Cr-Mr. Choi Sangwoo,” I stutter.

  The receptionist’s eyes light up as though she realizes who I am. “Oh, are you Miss Maybelline Lee?”

  I cringe at my full name. “Yes.” I suppose Choi Sangwoo has already prompted her.

  “Yes. His eight o’clock appointment. Follow me please.” She steps out from behind the counter and extends a hand to me. “Nice to meet you. My name is Yoojin.”

  “Nice to meet you too.” Awkwardly, I take her hand in mine.

  Yoojin has a strong handshake, making me feel as though I underestimated her delicate appearance. A thought crosses my mind and I look at her neck. She’s wearing a silver necklace with its face inside her blouse. I wonder if she is a Crist member. In fact, are all the people working here Crist members? And if they are not, do they know they are working for a gang leader? Suddenly, the questions inundate my mind. My curiosity about Choi Sangwoo intensifies despite the invisible limits I have mentally nailed down. Does Mayhem have a massive building too? His is probably twice this size to accommodate his huge ego. My conscience rocks her head to the side.

  “Please follow me. I will take you to Mr. Choi’s office.” Yoojin begins the trek towards the ornate elevators. Her six-inch heels hit the ground in a repetitive manner.

  I follow her footsteps only to realize I am getting special treatment for being Sangwoo’s scheduled appointment. Briefly, I wonder what Sangwoo has mentioned to his staff. Perhaps I am an important client in a new business venture–which isn’t exactly too far removed from the truth. Or maybe he kept things succinct and said I am an important appointment that needs to be escorted to his office the minute I walk into the building. With all considerations aside, Yoojin is all business.

  I look at her again through the clouds hovering over my thoughts. Her expression remains impassive.

  Yoojin already has one elevator waiting for us. She steps aside and motions for me to enter first. A stranger has never given me such respect and attention before.

  “Thank you,” I tell her.

  “You’re very welcome.” Yoojin’s awfully cheerful. It has to be fake, just like everything that he is. My intuition is awake and rubbing her eyes.

  The elevator doors close behind Yoojin. The entire interior’s made of glass. I can see Yoojin’s reflection next to me, multiplied by the four walls. I pretend to focus on my feet while Yoojin stares at the reflection ahead. The elevator whisks us to the top. The speed seems to increase as the lights jump from ground level to the fortieth.

  When we arrive on the designated floor, the elevator doors ding open. Yoojin steps out first and motions for me to follow. We are now in another lobby facing a lavish round table adjacent to the door. This floor looks like a glamorous museum complete with intricate paintings and sculptures. The woman sitting behind the grand reception table is older, but her face is a classic beauty. Her hair is pinned against her head, revealing a flawless complexion and intimidating dark almond-shaped eyes. She reminds me of a black feline.

  “Good morning. This is Maybelline Lee. Mr. Choi’s eight o’clock appointment,” Yoojin explains with a smile that doesn’t touch any of her other facial features.

  Cat Woman rises from behind the chair. A speculative look crosses her face, but Cat Woman is nothing short of professional. “Miss Lee. Please come.” She leads me to the
gray French doors located to the right of the lobby. “Mr. Choi is waiting for you.”

  Oh. The gang leader is waiting. My intuition sits down on her couch, quiet for once.

  There is definitely no turning back now.

  I leave Yoojin and Cat Woman to walk through the door. Immediately when I enter, I am compelled to drop my jaw to the floor in complete awe. The office is grand and vast; white undertones upon a deep red color. The furnishing is modern and elite with a large meeting area in the middle of the room. A CEO office desk wraps around the glass windows with the view of Seoul’s skyline. While his penthouse surveys the East of Seoul, Sangwoo’s office building surrounds the belly of Seoul.

  Sangwoo is on the phone and doesn’t notice that I am here. He looks every bit of a CEO and less of a gang leader with his dark suit and tie. Once again, I transport into a different world.

  “I want it all completely removed and erased. The documentations need to be shredded immediately. Call me when it is done.” Sangwoo’s tone is hard and full of irritation. He snaps the instructions into the phone and listens to the reply with a frown across his striking face. “Ren. Get it done.”

  Did he issue something like a kill order? I swallow apprehensively.

  Sangwoo hangs up his phone and turns. He pauses when he sees me. “Good morning.” And he is back to his charming self.

  “Good morning,” I reply. I stand awkwardly in the middle of his office.

  Sangwoo glances at the clock above the door. It is an exotic island with small rowboats for the clock hands. “You’re late.” There is humor in his voice, but the partial truth doesn’t escape me. Sangwoo is a man who operates according to time.

  “I’m sorry, I took the bus.” I wonder why I am so keen to apologize to him.

  “I can resolve the problem easily. Once I get you a car, time would be running to catch up to you.” The light dances in Sangwoo’s eyes. He is in a warm and playful mood this morning. Could it be that he is happy I am taking up his contract? Speaking of which, he hasn’t mentioned it yet.