Anywhere But Here

by Stephanie Hoffman McManus

  Her eyes lifted and met mine guardedly. “Don’ you,” sniff, “need to get back to,” sniff, “yer frien?” Between her sniffles and the alcohol slurring her words, I would have smiled at how adorably pitiful she was if it wasn’t for the devastation so obvious on her face. Whatever was making her so sad, I just wanted to make it go away. I wanted to take that broken look out of her eyes. I didn’t know how, so I just pulled her in close and tucked her into my side. “The only person here I care about right now is you.”

  She let out a shaky breath and her whole body slumped against mine. She let me lead her back inside, through the party and to my room. Derek had done what I asked and gotten rid of Natalie so the room was empty. I kicked the door shut behind us and walked her over to my bed, but when I tried to get her to sit, her arms wound around her stomach again and she shook her head profusely. Her eyes were squeezed shut as if she was trying to block something out. Tears leaked from the corners.

  I took her shoes from her, setting them down, and then took her in my arms, unable to help myself. “Please tell me what’s wrong, pretty girl.” Her body shook softly and I felt her tears wet my chest.

  Someone did this to her. Hurt her, and I only needed one guess as to whom. I was already planning all the ways I was going to hurt him, but right now I just needed her to talk to me, to tell me what I could do to make it better, besides kill the asshole responsible. I didn’t know what to do but keep holding her. I was afraid if I let go, she would crumple to the floor. We might have stood there for five minutes or twenty, I don’t know. I would have stood there all night holding her if that’s what she needed, but after a while the tears and the shaking stopped, and after another minute or so, her chest swelled as she pulled in a deep breath and then softly pushed against my chest.

  I gently pressed my forefinger against the underside of her jaw, tipping her chin up. “What happened?”

  “I’m such an idiot, an’ you were right, an’ yer pro’lly loving every second of this told ‘ya so moment.”

  “Believe me, I’m not loving anything about seeing you like this. Now, can you break down what happened for me?” I sat down on the bed and took her hand, trying to tug her down beside me, but she just looked at the bed and shook her head again, pulling her hand free of mine.

  “He–he … I saw–” she couldn’t even get it out, her voice was so shaky, but I needed zero clarification on the “he.” I knew this was Jeremy’s fault, and I could take a stab at what he’d done.

  She sucked in a deep breath and started again. “He left the dance early to go to Mike’s party. I was s’posed to stay and clean up the dance, but Principal Miller said we could come back for clean up t’morrow, so Cammie and I left for the party. Jeremy was already entertaining himself with Daisy when we showed up. I walked in on ‘im with her.” She turned her head away from me as another tear slipped down her cheek.

  “And then I drank a lot and told the driver to bring me here, and I don’ know why, but here I am and I shouldn’t be here and I pro’lly ruined yer night now too, and I should juss go home,” she was hiccupping little sobs now, “but I don’t have a car or a phone and I’m really drunk and I’ve never been drunk before and I feel awful, like I juss wanna die.”

  “Hey, hey,” something inside me was cracking as I stood. “Come here,” I curled my fingers gently around her elbow and she let me draw her close again. “I’m so sorry that you walked into what you did here tonight, with my brother’s friends and me and that girl, but you here is far from ruining my night. Everything else we’ll figure out.”

  “How?” Her eyes were so big and shiny with tears. I wished I could give her some answer that would make it all better, but I didn’t know the first thing about comforting a girl. I’d made enough of them cry that you’d think I would, but I’d never cared before like I did right here in this moment.

  “I don’t know,” I told her honestly. “But we should probably start with trying to sober you up.”

  “And you should get dressed.” Her eyes dropped to my bare chest and lower, and then she quickly flicked them back up to my face. “Yes, you should have clothes on.”

  “Okay.” I found a pair of athletic shorts and a clean tee to throw on. “That better?” I asked with a grin.

  “I need to pee,” she blurted.

  “Okay,” I tried not to chuckle. “I’ll show you where the bathroom is and then I’m going to grab some food to help with Senor Tequila.”

  “Senor Tequila is not my friend.”

  “Don’t worry, everyone learns that lesson the hard way at least once.” I steered her into the hall and to the bathroom. I flipped the light on for her and started to close the door when she stepped inside. Something made her gasp and I yanked it back open, prepared to kill a spider, hoping it was that and not the overall state of our bathroom that disgusted her, but it turned out it was neither. She was staring at the mirror and crying again as she started tearing off toilet paper and wiping furiously at her eyes, which caught mine in the reflection.

  “I’m such a mess. This is so embarrassing. I look like a hideous horror movie reject. If they saw me now they’d take my crown away.”

  I relaxed. No spiders to kill. Just a girl, a beautifully sad girl, who was probably too drunk to even care how dirty the bathroom was, but not too drunk to have a girly freak out moment. I grabbed her hand with the wadded up tissue and pulled her away from the mirror. “Shaeleigh Bradford I’m going to say something and I need you to listen real carefully. Are you listening?”

  She nodded weakly.

  “You could have walked here in a hurricane, slipped and fallen in the mud, rolled through poison oak and then been attacked by a chupacabra and you’d still be beautiful. It’s not about how done up your hair is, or that glittery shit around your eyes, or how amazing you look in that dress. Or the way you smell like peaches and vanilla mixed with tequila and sweat that makes me think about ways besides dancing that would make your skin smell that way, minus the tequila and the dress, and before you freak out because I said you smell like sweat, you need to know how fucking sexy I think it is and not at all gross, because you don’t smell like a dude at a gym. You smell like I want my sheets to smell every fucking day, but none of that makes a damn bit of difference, because you could strip all that away and it wouldn’t change a thing. Your kind of beautiful can’t be touched. It starts in your eyes and it’s soul fucking deep, Shae.”

  She was blinking fast, those damn green, soul piercing eyes shimmering with more unshed tears. “Then why did he do it?”

  “I’m afraid I might have to take the blame for that one. I must have hit him one too many times and turned his stupid brain to mush.”

  She hiccupped a laugh that quickly faded into something sad again. “I’m serious. Why wasn’t I enough for him, and why didn’t I see it?”

  “Because you’re the kind of girl who wants to believe people are better than they truly are, so when something goes wrong, you look for the fault in yourself. The reason you can’t find it is because it’s not there. It’s all on him, Shae, and I don’t know why he did it other than Jeremy Black has been handed things his whole life so I’m not sure he recognizes the value when he’s given a true gift. I doubt if he really knew what he had, but I promise you this, if he doesn’t now, he’ll realize what he lost.” And he was going to regret it. I was going to help him along with that.

  She gave me a half-hearted nod.

  “Then use the bathroom, but no more crying in the mirror. I’m going to go find something for you to eat and bring it back to my room, okay?”

  I left her in there and then came across Derek in the kitchen while I tried to scrounge up something from our bare cupboards.

  “Natalie’s gone,” he informed me.

  “Thanks man.”

  “Yeah, now you want to tell me what she’s doing here?”

  I popped a couple pieces of bread in the toaster. It was about all I could offer her that might do any good. “Qua
rterback fucked around on her tonight of all nights and she finally caught him. I think the near fifth of tequila I’m pretty sure she consumed after that is responsible for her showing up here.”

  “And what are you going to do with her?”

  I arched my brow and cocked my head at him. “What exactly do you think I’m going to do?”

  “I don’t know, man, that’s why I’m asking. I know that girl does something to you, but–”

  “Just stop. You don’t know shit, and I’m not going to do a damn thing but make her some shitty ass toast and try to keep her from throwing up, which I suspect it’s already too late to do anything about, but I’m still going to try, because she’s been miserable enough for one night.”

  The toast popped up and I spread a little butter over it before tossing it on a plate and filling a large cup with cool water to take back to her.

  “And Black, what are you going to do about him?”

  I stopped in the doorway and glanced over my shoulder. I didn’t need to tell him what I planned to do, he could see it on my face.

  “Just be careful you don’t take it too far. You’re eighteen in a week, Nash.”

  I acknowledged his warning with a nod, and while he had a point, it wasn’t going to stop me from making sure Jeremy knew just how bad he fucked up this time.

  I nudged open the door to my room with my foot and saw Shae sitting on the floor, her knees tucked up to her chest, her head resting against the edge of my bed, eyes shut and most of the makeup that had been smeared around them was washed away. She opened her eyes and lifted her head when I shut the door.

  “Hey, what are you doing on the floor?” It was bad enough that she was here in my little dump, but she sure as hell didn’t belong on the floor, drunk or not. I set the plate and glass on what passed for my nightstand, and then tried to help her off the floor. “Come on, let me help you onto the bed”

  She shook her head, but all it took was one little tug to pull her to her feet.

  “You don’t want to sit on the bed?” I reasoned slowly.

  Another shake of her head confirmed it and I tried to work out in my head what her issue was. It only took a second for the issue to click. Her eyes dropped timidly and her cheeks were even more flushed than they’d been a moment ago.

  “Because of what you walked in on?”

  She still wouldn’t lift her gaze, but I knew that was the reason. I should have put it together sooner. The covers were already shoved to the foot of the bed, but I pulled back the sheets and yanked them from the mattress. I tossed them in the hamper by my door. I told Shae I’d be right back and went to retrieve a clean set from the cupboard in the laundry room, just off the kitchen.

  Shae was nibbling the toast and sipping the water when I returned and remade the bed with the fresh linens. This place might be a shithole, but Trin and I did our best to keep it relatively clean and in order, but I couldn’t help the hot shame that crawled up my face when I noticed Shae casually inspecting my room. It was the first time in a long time I actually let myself feel embarrassed by where I lived. I’d been inside her house and could only imagine what she thought of mine.

  I cleared my throat awkwardly. “There, clean sheets, I promise.”

  She hesitantly lowered herself to sit on the edge of the bed. It creaked a little even under her small frame.

  I scraped my hand through my hair to the back of my neck. “Sorry, it’s not the most comfortable.” It was the same twin bed I’d had since I was ten, and even though I’d outgrown it a long time ago, it was what I had so I made do.

  “It’s fine.”

  I sat down beside her and handed her the plate she’d left sitting on the nightstand. “How are you feeling?”

  “Like I’m on a boat,” she chuckled.

  “Try to eat more if you can. I promise it will help. And drink the water. That will make a big difference in the morning.”

  She groaned. “This is going to suck in the morning, isn’t it?”

  “Not going to lie, yeah it is, but it will suck less if you eat and drink the water.”

  She took a couple more unenthusiastic bites and drank from the glass. “I just feel like I need to lie down.”

  I took the plate and glass from her, returning them to the nightstand. “You can lie down, but you might want to take that off.” I pointed at the big tiara still stuck in her hair.

  Her hand reached up and patted it. “Oh, yeah. I forgot I was still wearing it.” She pulled it free and then held it in her lap. “It’s pretty isn’t it?”

  “Nah, not really,” I told her honestly. “But it looked pretty on you.”

  She reached out and set it carefully on the nightstand and then scooted back on the bed before laying her head down on my pillow. My bed sat tucked in a corner, on nothing but a box spring. I grabbed my spare pillow and tucked it against the wall behind my back and brought my legs up onto the bed so I was sitting, stretched out beside her. She was on her side, her eyes open and seemingly staring at nothing.

  “Does anyone know you’re here?” I wondered whether I needed to be worried about her mother or someone sending the police to my door to rescue Shae from this den of iniquity. Her eyes flitted to my face and she gave her head a shake.

  “Do you want to call anyone?” I was out of minutes on my phone, but I could go get Derek’s.

  “No.”

  “Do you want me to take you home?”

  “Not yet.” Her eyelids lowered. “I just want to lay here for a while.”

  “Okay. You can lay here as long as you want.” I reached down and pulled the covers up over her. It only took about two minutes for her lips to part and her breathing to slow with sleep.

  I couldn’t help but reach out and stroke my hand over her hair, only to find it stiff with whatever crap was holding it together. Her skin was much softer when I traced my thumb over her cheek. Her eyelashes fluttered a bit but otherwise she didn’t stir.

  I was pretty sure that there would never be anything prettier than this girl, or anything better than seeing her head on my pillow. I wasn’t the kind of guy who could make a girl like her happy, or any girl for that matter. Relationships and me didn’t mix, and I’d unarguably done a lot of stupid shit in my almost eighteen years, but I just couldn’t wrap my head around how Black could have risked this, for what? For Daisy fucking Brighton? Or Tammy Palmer before her, and Amber Trout before her? I’d personally sampled two of the three, and wouldn’t touch the third, and there was, without a doubt, no way any of them stacked up against the girl sleeping beside me. No fucking way. No chance. How could I see that when he couldn’t?

  The last few weeks had driven me crazy. Seeing her with him, knowing he was a selfish, ungrateful, prick. The only thing that kept me from tearing his damn head off was knowing at least she was happy in her ignorant bliss, but she sure as fuck wasn’t happy now. I no longer had any reason to let him keep walking around like a cocky bastard who could take whatever he wanted.

  Once it looked like Shae was really out cold, I climbed from the bed and went in search of Derek. My brother’s friends were still all over the place, and it was a damn miracle Shae was sleeping through the music. Derek was in the corner chatting with some girl I didn’t know, but that wasn’t saying much. There were always new faces mixed in with the old at these things. Everyone looking for a good time, most looking to score a little something extra, be it the shit my brother and some of his buddies dealt, or just a warm body for the night, or both.

  I always sent Trinity away, made sure she was clear of this place anytime my brother wanted to have people over, but right now I needed to call her back.

  “D, give me your phone.” He didn’t hesitate to pull it from his pocket and toss it to me without taking his attention off the dark haired, pixie looking girl.

  I dialed my sister’s number, hoping she wasn’t already sleeping at Angie’s. It was after midnight, but I knew those two girls well enough to know they usually stayed up all nig
ht watching their girly crap shows. She picked up after the third ring and I was glad I’d made sure she had minutes before she left tonight.

  “Derek?”

  “No, Trin, it’s Kell. I hate to do this to you, but I need you to come back home.”

  “Why?” Instantly I could hear the worry.

  “Everything’s fine, but uh, Shaeleigh Bradford is passed out in my bed right now and I need to leave with D to take care of something, but I can’t leave her here alone with Tuck and these assholes.”

  “Holy shit, Kell, what is Shaeleigh doing there?”

  “It’s a long story, one that starts with her boyfriend being a real piece of shit and ends with me going to have words with him, but like I said, I can’t leave until I know someone is here to keep an eye on her.”

  “Yeah, of course, but can I bring Angie?”

  “If her parents are cool with it.”

  “They will be.” Angie’s parents didn’t keep much of a leash on Angie, but at least they were parents who stuck around and they were always good to my sister.

  “I’ll send D to get you two, be ready in ten.” Neither of the girls drove.

  Even though D had kept his eyes and his smile on the girl, he’d been listening, because the second I hung up, he apologized to her and pulled out his keys. I tossed his phone back and he pocketed it before strolling out of the house. I went back to my room to check on Shae and stayed there until D returned with the girls.

  When they poked their heads into my room, I held my finger up to my lips, but waved them in. “She’s sleeping pretty hard, but maybe just check in on her every little bit in case she wakes up sick. And make sure she doesn’t roll onto her back, and that no one else comes in here.” Trin’s room was right across the hall from mine, so if she kept her door cracked she could keep an eye on mine.

  “Okay, but what are you going to do brother? I know better than to believe you’re just going to have words with Jeremy Black.”

  “You don’t need to worry about that, and don’t tell her where I went if she wakes up.” It was too late for that. A soft groan sounded from the bed. Shae was trying to sit up, her face distressed.