Beginning with Forever

by Lan LLP

  He doesn’t embrace me with a smile, but for some odd reason, this makes him even more incredibly attractive to me, in an overconfident way. His bountiful, undulating, dark brown hair is now neatly groomed, and his flawless carved face is also freshly shaven. I visually trace the length of his sharp masculine jaw line to his charming boyish one-sided dimple. God, he’s hot! I bite on my thumb nail without thinking, and he follows my finger with his severe eyes. I’m caught, so I nervously remove my thumb from my mouth and bite on my lower lip instead. I evade his perceptive eyes altogether and focus on his full pursed lips. They look much better, less chapped and the blisters are healing.

  C.B. is much taller sitting upright. I speculate he’s probably over six feet, dominantly towering over me. He’s undeniably the most handsome man I’ve ever met, and of course, I already secretly know how tone and perfectly sculpted his body is underneath that frumpy hospital gown. Holy crap, I’m losing my train of thought again. What’s gotten into me? Get a grip on yourself. He needs to see me as a professional medical-resident not some ogling admirer. Unfortunately, the weight of his continuous stare hinders my focus even further. I push myself to quickly peruse his medical chart and gather the information I need to make a quick assessment. Mystery man now has a real name. Carson Bradley, born May 31, 1982. How coincidental, we have the same birthday, but he’s ten years my senior.

  “Hello Mr. Bradley, I’m Miss Ly, your assistant medical-resident. I’ll be working under the guidance of Dr. Stanford to help accelerate your recovery here at this hospital. Aside from a few minor bruises and mild dehydration, you’re lucky to have survived that storm. Do you have any questions for me?” I inform him in my most authoritative voice. His confidence in my professional abilities is invaluable to me. I expect him to look beyond my youth and not equate it with inexperience. He takes my hand and shakes it firmly as if he’s sealing a business deal. His touch stirs all my senses and confirms my attraction for him is real. Our hands remain together longer than a customary handshake, so I remove mine before my odd attraction to him exposes me. The tingling sensation from our touch still lingers on my hand like a burn after touching something really hot.

  “First of all, thank you for your professional care. I’m indebted to you, Miss Ly.” His penetrating eyes command my attention, but I avoid looking into them for too long. They remain fixed on me regardless. Damn, his deep, sultry voice is as sexy as the rest of him. I’m utterly doomed.

  “Mr. Bradley, it’s my job to care for all wounded and sick people. You don’t owe me anything.” I pray my voice will not fail me, revealing my insecurity as I respond.

  “Then will you please tell me how much longer I have to be detained here? I’m a busy man. Time is valuable to me. It’s imperative I leave as soon as possible to handle pressing business matters back home.” He continues to stare at me with studious eyes. “I have people waiting for me. I can’t waste another minute here playing patient.” His considerate tone is now completely arrogant and demanding. He manages to transform into a conceited asshole within seconds without any effort. Unbelievable.

  Initially, I’m taken back by his haughty response and attitude. However, I’m relieved to see this unattractive side of him. I was completely accurate about my stereotyping of his kind. The trance or whatever the heck I was under fizzles out immediately. I’m angry with myself. I have steam oozing out of every part of my body. I want to leave this room and him behind as quickly as possible. I glare at him with my eyes sideways and slightly narrowed. “I don’t hold anyone here against their will. As soon as I complete your vitals, and they’re satisfactory, I’ll release you by the end of today. You can tend to your pressing and personal needs then, Mr. Bradley,” I reply harshly through gritted teeth. I’m ashamed of my unprofessional response, but I can’t help myself. I have a hard time suppressing my temper sometimes. It pisses me off that I chose to come here to care for humble people and still ended up having to deal with an arrogant jerk.

  I can tell he’s stunned by my abrasiveness, but also seems amused at the same time. There’s a visible smirk on his face that he fails miserably to conceal. Does he think this is funny? I don’t find anything amusing about his arrogance. I’m fuming with irritation. I assume he’s unfamiliar with women being this forthright and challenging with him. He’s probably accustomed to them giving in to his every whim and commands. In other words, kiss his egotistical ass. I’m not that type of woman; I don’t kiss anyone’s ass.

  “Miss Ly, I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. I hope I didn’t offend you,” he tells me with a hint of remorse in his tone, but I’m beyond caring at this point and blatantly ignore his apology. Hastily, I march out of the room, leaving him speechless. As soon as I’m far enough away from him and out of his view, I blow out a seething sigh. What a stuck-up and ungrateful asshole. I lean my shaking body against the supportive wall behind me in hope of regaining my balance. I can’t believe I was attracted to him. This is why I’ve purposely kept my life free of men. They’re just too complicated. I’m disappointed in myself for letting him affect my professionalism. I vow that I will never let this happen again. After settling my temper, I continue with the rest of my hospital rounds.

  Carson Bradley

  Damn, no woman has ever dared to confront me like that or leave before I dismiss her. I was already taken by her beauty and intelligence, but her fire and strong will makes her even more irresistible to me. How can I possibly think clearly with that sexy, ruffled expression on her stunning face? She’s even hotter when she’s crossed. I wanted to pull her back and detain her in my arms as she made her way for the exit. I’m forcing every fiber in my body to fight my attraction for her. It’s driving me fucking insane that I’m unable to control my own emotions around her.

  I’m bored of willing women telling me what I want to hear. I never know what’s really going through their minds because they’re in constant fear of how I might react to their honesty. I crave sincere conversations with real opinions and sentiments. I love that she respects herself enough not to take any shit from me. She has a lot of fire in her, and man, does that make me want to get to know her even more. Wait a minute; what the hell am I saying? I can’t expect her to give me, a cold, heartless asshole, a chance. I’d only end up breaking her heart because I’m incapable of loving anyone. Don’t be cruel. Leave her alone! You won’t be able to make her happy. But why am I so affected by her? Why? Why? Why? I want to know why. I’m more alive than I’ve ever been in years. What should I do? Nothing! I can’t offer her anything, but emptiness. I need to distance myself from her, the sooner the better. The tough challenge is to stop thinking about her until Owen picks me up. This might not be possible for me since she’s all I want to think about the minute she walked into my room.

  Lillian Ly

  It’s mid-day, and I’m ready to sit down to eat a quick lunch until an unexplained epidemic of local sick children pours into the hospital, causing chaotic panic among the staff. The rooms quickly fill up, but the number of ill children continues to grow. They’re vomiting and dry heaving unremittingly without any relief. The awful smells and sounds are foul enough to make me gag, but there’s no time for weak stomachs. The entire staff and I run around frantically attending to the ones who are helplessly waiting for assistance. It brings tears to my eyes, seeing so many young babies and children crying in discomfort. The agonizing expressions on their faces are unbearable to witness. It pains me to see anyone hurt, especially children. I want to gather each and every one of them into my arms to heal them and take their suffering away. An infant boy feebly whimpering grabs my immediate attention. I lift him out of his sobbing parents’ arms and embrace him tightly in mine, trying to hold back my own tears and begin my assessment of his condition. His breathing is steady, but weak. I need to give him some oxygen and fluids STAT. I carry him down a congested hallway, and to my astonishment, witness Mr. Bradley mixed in a crowd of wailing people with his IV pole kindly assisting a family of three youn
g children. It looks like he’s generously offering them his private room as he motions for them to enter it. He tenderly bends down to one of the little girl and wipes her tears. She offers him an uplifting smile, reaches for his hand and holds onto it. He receives her gesture with delight in his glimmering green eyes.

  Why is this arrogant, self-centered man being compassionate? I’m confused. My heart is even more confused. The only thing I’m certain about is I can no longer deny my attraction for him. Coincidentally at that very moment, he looks over to me and stares directly into my tearful eyes. His expression is warm and sympathetic. He sees right through my hard armor and directly into my wide-opened heart. I break our intense gaze and mouth, “Thank you!” He rewards me with his heart-wrenching smile and playfully salutes me with his right hand.

  With the growing number of patients, Dr. Stanford suggests we gather volunteers. I call Amelia and Richard who are off duty today. They show up within twenty minutes and boy was I ever ecstatic and relieved to see them. I welcome all the help I can get. I briefly introduce them to Mr. Bradley. Richard is reserved and cautious when he shakes his hand, while Amelia is her amicable bubbly self. I ask Mr. Bradley to take it easy while the rest of us split up in teams to see if we can stabilize the children’s condition. He looks at me like I shouldn’t tell him what to do, but agrees. I take it that Mr. Bradley is not used to taking orders. I can’t help but smirk and then take off with my team.

  It’s been a long and exhausting evening. We finally found rooms for everyone and their vomiting is controlled. We’re all completely beat, hungry and ready to crash. I want nothing else but to fall into my bed and sleep for the next twenty-four hours. The idea is appealing, but not feasible. I could never afford the luxury of wasting that many hours on sleep. As we walk around the corner to the main hospital entrance, I spot Mr. Bradley now wearing ceil-blue hospital scrubs speaking to someone on the phone. He has a troubled expression on his face. I wonder who he’s talking to…maybe a girlfriend. Why am I feeling a little jealousy? Argh! I’m frustrated with myself. I wave him over once he finished his call. His expression lightens up.

  “Mr. Bradley, do you know where you’re staying tonight?” I ask him. I’m sure one of his girlfriends will be picking him up soon.

  “No, not yet,” he replies as he stares directly into my eyes, taking me by surprise with his response.

  “You’re more than welcome to join us if you’d like. Even though you’re stable, it wouldn’t hurt to have medical staff at an arm’s reach,” I suddenly offer him. Richard and Amelia are both stunned, but I pretend not to notice.

  “Thank you. I’d like to take you up on your offer,” he replies with his adorable dimpled smile. The arrogant jerk I spoke to several hours ago is now replaced with this more agreeable, charming man.

  “You can stay with me,” Richard hesitantly offers out of the blue.

  “Thanks, Richard,” Mr. Bradley replies with a hint of disappointment in his tone.

  “Okay then…Amelia and I will head back together,” I suggest and walk out ahead.

  I’m not surprised that Richard volunteered his place. He must’ve sensed my attraction to Mr. Bradley and might be trying to keep me away from him. I don’t blame Richard for feeling the way he does. I assured him from the beginning that I don’t have time for romance and now, I’m admiring another man in front of him. Maybe it’s a good thing that he’s staying with Richard instead of me. I wouldn’t be able to sleep, knowing that Mr. Bradley is merely steps away from me. My nerves would drive me crazy, taunting me the entire night, making me even more sleep deprived than I already am.

  As soon as we both slide into the car, Amelia grills me relentlessly about my peculiar behavior around Mr. Bradley while she giggles. “What’s going on between you and that handsome Mr. Bradley? I’ve never seen you this animated around a man before. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, and he couldn’t take his off of you. He was definitely checking you out, girlie.” She sounds proud that she’s onto us.

  Am I that obvious? “I don’t know what you’re talking about? I’m just trying to help a homeless man,” I unconvincingly defend myself.

  “Yeah sure, I’ll drop it for tonight because we’re both dog-tired, but I expect answers from you tomorrow, Missy.” She narrows her eyes sideways and points her index finger at me. I nod my head with a pursed smile.

  We all arrive at the dorm at about the same time. The air in the elevator is unbelievably thick as soon as the doors close and seal the four of us in. I refrain from looking directly at Mr. Bradley, but can’t help taking in his handsome reflection off the stainless steel doors in front of us. I see Richard’s impassive expression from the reflection as well. No one opens their mouth, not even to breathe, it seems. This is by far the longest elevator ride up to the 10th floor. The doors finally open and release the dense air. We single file out, women first and then the men follow behind. Mr. Bradley unthinkingly places his palm at the small of my back to courteously guide me out. His brief touch sends a jolt of sensation throughout my body, but I shake it off promptly. I can’t lose my control in front of everyone, especially Richard.

  “Good night,” I bid him and Richard.

  “Good night, Miss Ly,” he responds with searching eyes. I quickly evade them. I’ve already made it this far. I can’t fail now. Richard just nods his head.

  Richard leads Mr. Bradley in the direction of his room. He’s not happy about sharing his place or his girl with this man. I can clearly see it in his sulking eyes while mine steal several more glimpses of handsome Mr. Bradley to add to my mental portfolio. Amelia catches me, but she’s too tired to wrestle for answers. I’m sure she won’t let me off the hook this easily tomorrow, so I better prepare myself for her interrogation. But the second I enter our room, my spent body plunges into my bed from extreme exhaustion. Sadly, I don’t even think I have enough energy to dream about Mr. Bradley. Well…maybe just a teeny bit.

  Chapter 5

  Lillian Ly

  I woke up especially early this morning to catch Mr. Bradley for a quick breakfast, only to discover that he’d already left without any mention of me. I’m slightly disappointed, but then what was I really hoping for? I try my best to brush off my disillusions and not allow them ruin the rest of my day. Why would a man like him want anything to do with a simple girl like me anyways? Wishful thinking on my part. Oh well, I can’t waste any more time fretting about it. It’s not worth the stress, and besides, I already have plenty to deal with.

  I take Richard and Amelia out for breakfast on me instead for all the help they offered me yesterday. If not for their dedication, I might still be there at the hospital right now. We pick Harvey’s, our favorite local restaurant. Between the three of us, we consumed four heaping of pancakes with hot maple syrup. Needless to say, my belly is so satisfied that it might even complain it’s too full.

  Richard is quiet this morning, not his usual charming, fun self. I’m guessing that he’s still bothered by my noticeable attraction to Mr. Bradley, and he should be, I’m bothered by it myself. Maybe I can touch on that subject after this awkwardness passes. Since he’s been so good to me, I feel like I owe him some kind of explanation even though I don’t understand it myself. I wish I know why I’m so drawn to Mr. Bradley. He stands for everything I dislike. He’s wealthy. I say it like it’s a wicked word. He’s arrogant, aloof and dominating, but when I looked into his gentle green eyes, I saw beyond what I considered are his flaws. I saw kindness, sincerity and sympathy, perhaps I made them up, perhaps I was wishing, but I know I saw something there.

  We part ways to catch up on our studies in preparation for our upcoming exam. I love every third Tuesday of the month because they’re free days for catching up with labs or clinics. Since I put in more than the mandatory hours needed for clinical, it’s rare that I ever have to go back to the hospital for make-up hours. I tuck my books neatly into my backpack and head to my secluded beach spot for a full day of laziness and studying. />
  Carson Bradley

  All night, I lay restlessly on Richard’s sofa, contemplating what I should do about Miss Ly. I looked up at a beautiful mural ceiling, stared out the window into an infinite sky, and watched the minute hand on my watch rotate around to kill time. How could I possibly sleep when my mind refused to cooperate? At 5:37 a.m., I came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be in her best interest if I included her in my fucked-up, lonely world. I don’t know the first thing about love. I’ve been emotionally empty for far too long. How can I offer her something I don’t have? It’ll never work out for us. But maybe I should stop by her room and personally thank her for saving my life. It’s the least I can do for all that she’s done for me. Slyly, I try to convince myself to see her stunning face one last time. Don’t do it! You can’t offer her what she needs, I unconvinced myself. There’s no possible way I would be able to walk away from her if I look into those alluring brown eyes again. I should leave and not act on my selfish needs. It’ll only make it harder for me to forget her. Maybe I can send her a card and gift when I get back to Boston. That sounds like a terrific idea, Loser. A fruit basket with a card that says, ‘I’m infatuated with you,’ I mock myself. Quietly placing a Thank You note on the coffee table for Richard, I take the elevator to the main floor without disturbing him.

  Owen is waiting downstairs in a stretch limo. I called him yesterday and then again this morning for my pickup. He’s not one to get too emotional or sentimental about much of anything. It’s either black or white with him, no shades of gray in between, so it practically knocked the wind out of me when I heard warmth in his tone. He told me he was grateful that I didn’t drown in the ocean. Owen insisted on coming to the hospital as soon as he heard my voice. The plan was to pick me up there, but when Miss Ly eagerly waved her arm to grab my attention, I told him to wait until he heard from me.