CHAPTER 12
RHYS
M y first therapy session went about as well as could be expected. Nate brought me from Norwich straight to the C&C building, and the counseling floor I didn’t even know existed before now. His doctor fit me in, but I just sat in her office, staring at the abstract paintings on the walls.
He said she wouldn’t push me to talk, and she didn’t. The quiet nearly drove me insane, but she just sat there, and let me be. When the little chime came, alerting us that time was up, I breathed a sigh of relief, but she merely smiled at me. How could she stand that much silence? I didn’t ask, and she didn’t offer, so I just got up, and left.
“How did it go?” Nate asks, when I walk out into the lobby.
“I didn’t talk.”
“Oh.”
“She’s nice, but I’m just not into this.”
“I thought you wanted to try to make things work with Vivienne.”
“You’re seriously going to try and guilt me into therapy.”
“Nope. I’m just going to remind you of what you say you want. If you’ve changed your mind, that’s cool. But, if you haven’t, you need to do everything you can to be the man you want to be.”
He’s right. I know he’s right. And, I also know I didn’t give this therapy thing the chance I need to. “Fine. I’ll make another appointment.”
“She’s waiting for you now.”
“What?”
“I had the doc book two hours for you, because I had a feeling this would be hard for you. It was hard for me, too.”
“I don’t know whether to punch you, or hug you.”
“How about we just shake hands, because if you punch me, I’ll punch you back. And hugs are cool sometimes, but I don’t know you like that. Yet.”
I can’t help smiling as I reach out, and shake his hand. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Now, don’t keep the lady waiting any longer.”
I walk back inside, wishing the doctor would smile, or even smirk at me, but she’s still got the serene, blank look on her face. “Welcome back, Rhys.”
“I don’t want to talk about this stuff. I hate even thinking about it, and if I’m being honest, talking about it terrifies me.”
“We can sit here for another hour of not talking if that’s what you need.”
“I need to feel better about myself.”
“No one else can do that for you. I certainly don’t have a magic wand to make that happen.”
“Working hard doesn’t scare me.”
“What does scare you?” she asks, taking off her glasses, and leaning toward me.
“Losing the woman I love for a second time.”
She puts her glasses back on, and sits back. “You can’t be here for her.”
“I’m here for us.”
“You have to be sure about that, because you’ll be wasting both of our time if you’re not fully committed to facing your demons, and letting me help you slay them.”
“I’m sure. I can’t live the way I’ve been living. Even without Viv, I can’t keep this up. I’m destroying myself, and I won’t allow them to have the power to do that to me. The people who kidnapped broke me, and it’s time for me to put myself back together.”
“Okay. Let’s talk.”
I spend the next hour talking non-stop. I tell her everything. Things I never thought I’d be able to tell another person. Things I’m ashamed of, and things I’m angry about. It all comes out, and I’m honestly drained once I walk out of the room.
“You talked,” Nate says when he sees me.
“It’s that obvious?”
“To someone who’s been through it, and could barely stand after the first time, yes. You need to sleep now.”
“Yeah, I do. Thanks again for everything.”
“You’re welcome.”
I walk out of the building feeling exhausted, but also a little better. Not a lot, because this won’t be an easy fix, but a little. Enough to make me think I’ll be able to contact Viv soon. Not yet, because I need to be getting better when I see her again, but soon.
I go back to the apartment I was given in the C&C building, and crash hard. For once, I welcome sleep, and even the nightmares that might come with it. Something happened in that room with the doctor, something I never expected—I felt safe, and free. Free to talk, and free to hurt. I didn’t tell Nate I cried, and he acted as though he didn’t see my red eyes, but I cried, and I’m feeling absolutely no shame for it.
VIV
The flight back to Vegas was uneventful, and long. It probably felt longer because of the turmoil I was feeling, but there’s no help for that right now. I’m starting my life over again for a third time, when I didn’t even expect to do that once. Two months ago, I was still living life as a shell of a person, and now I’m feeling everything. No matter what else happens, I’ll never allow myself to feel nothing again.
“I had your stuff packed up and brought here,” Stella tells me in the car. “You can go shopping in my closet at the Foundation for anything else you’ll need for work.:
“Thanks, but I don’t even know what I’m doing yet.”
“Reina always has a plan, so once she shares it with you, just stop in. If I’m not there, my assistant, Kevin, will be.”
“Thank you.”
The car drops us in the underground garage, and Faith shows me the cars I can choose from to use as my own for as long as I need one. I pick a royal blue Tesla, and happily take the keys from her. After, they leave me at the Security desk for a tour of the building and grounds, which are awe-inspiring. I get to choose between a few apartments, and pick one that has bright furniture, and cool paintings and sculptures all over. I notice Owen Griffin’s signature on a few, and I’m not surprised. The Griffins and Corrigans are like family to each other.
Once I’m settled in, I take the elevator up to Reina and Matt’s penthouse. She told me to stop by anytime, and she has a smile on her face when she opens her door.
“Thanks for coming by, Viv. I heard you picked one of the more fun apartments, and I think it’s a great choice for you.”
“I should be the one thanking you. This is all more than I expected when I asked you for help.”
“It’s more than we usually give, although every person we help gets a new start. With you, things were always going to be a little different, because of your connection to Rhieve, and Rhys.”
“I could’ve lived more simply. I truly wasn’t expecting any special treatment.”
“I know. You’re not the first women from a wealthy family who’s needed our help, and many of them are living lives the ‘gala set’ wouldn’t dream of living. They’re safe and happy, so nothing else is important.”
“I was happy at the diner.”
“Yes, but you’ll be happier with Rhys, and I’ll be happier having your help at the Foundation, and with the Society.”
“I’m happy to do whatever you need me to.”
“I’d like you to help us do for others what we did for you, but also a little exta.”
“I’d love that.”
“Perfect. Get yourself settled, order groceries and whatever else you need from the concierge desk, and we can talk tomorrow, or the next day. There’s no rush if you want to relax for an extra day.”
“I’d rather be busy, if that’s okay.”
“I understand, and that leads me into something else I need to tell you. Rhys lives here.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Is it?”
“Honestly, no, but I’ll deal with it. I knew I’d probably see him at C&C.”
“You’ll have to talk to him about that if you see him.”
Huh? Why would I have to talk to him about C&C. Unless, X did something. “Did X fire him?”
“No. I’m sorry, but that’s all I can tell you.”
“I understand.”
Reina pulls me in for a hug, rubbing my back as she continues to speak. “I know how hard it is to be pa
tient when the man you love pushes you way, and I wouldn’t blame you for moving on, but I’m going to ask you to give him a chance to make things right.”
I move from her embrace, and shake my head. “When I was still in hiding, everyone was trying to protect me from Rhys. Now that my divorce papers have been signed, everyone’s now his champion. I love that everyone wants to help him, but the sudden change is a little jarring.”
“We weren’t so much protecting you from him, but from who he might be giving information to. No one—especially Rhieve—wanted to believe he would tell your parents or husband where you were, but we couldn’t take that chance. And, I’ll admit to thinking he was being protected when he needed to fight his own battles, but that makes me guilty of a double-standard, and I try hard not to be that person.”
“Just because he’s a man doesn’t mean he needs less help than a woman in the same situation.”
“Exactly. Right now, we’re going to be his biggest cheerleaders because he’s trying to fix what’s broken inside of him, and that’s the hardest thing a person will ever have to do.”
“You offered to teach me how to fight, and shoot a gun. I’d like to learn now.”
She quirks an eyebrow at me as she crosses her arms. “We didn’t learn those things to exact revenge.”
“No, but you can’t tell me they’ve never been used for it. I need to avenge him.”
“I’m afraid it’s too late for that.”
“Rhieve,” I say, knowing she would have needed the vengeance I want for myself.
“As you said, we sometimes use what we learn to exact revenge. I don’t always condone it, but sometimes I stand back, and let it happen.”
“Thank you for that.”
“You’re welcome.”
Her son wakes up, crying over the baby monitor on the coffee table. She picks it up with a smile, and I’m reminded of how much I want a child of my own. One with dark hair, and the hint of a dimple when he smirks. Just like Rhys.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yes. Have a good night, Viv.”
“I will.”
Once I’ve visited the concierge, and ordered everything I need, including dinner, I walk to the elevator. As I’m waiting, I hear some guys coming inside. They’re trash-talking each other, and I suck in a breath as I recognize Rhys’ voice.
Don’t turn. Don’t turn. Don’t turn.
Telling myself that doesn’t work, because as they come closer, I totally turn to look. Rhys fumbles a step as he sees me, and the smile drops from his face. It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, but I want him to be happy to see me, and he isn’t. I force myself to turn back around as the conversation behind me stops. The elevator doors open, and I step inside, pressing the button for my floor, and keeping my eyes averted from the open door. No one else gets on, and I sink to the floor for the ride up, feeling like I’ve lost everything once again.
CHAPTER 13
RHYS
“I should’ve said something to her.”
“Not if you’re not ready,” Nate tells me, but we both know I just did the wrong thing.
“’Hello’ isn’t a hard thing to say, and she deserves that, at least.”
“It would’ve been nice, but what’s done is done.”
“I can’t leave it like this with her,”
“Do you need me to go talk to her?”
“No. Thanks, but I need to take care of this myself.” I turn, and walk over to the Concierge Desk, which I’m told is a recent addition to the lobby.
“Hello, Rhys, is there something I can help you with?”
“Hi. I was wondering if Vivienne ordered dinner?”
“Yes, she did. It will be here in a few minutes. Did you want to order something?”
“No, but I’d like to take it up to her apartment, if that’s okay.”
“Oh, Sure. Do you want me to call you when it arrives?”
“No, I’ll wait here.”
“I’ll see you later, man,” Nate tells me with a smile.
I walk over to one of the couches, which were also not here last time I visited Rhieve, and wait for the delivery. When it comes, I tip the guy, and start for the elevators, before remembering I don’t know her apartment number. This isn’t going to look suspicious at all.
“I am completely drawing a blank on her apartment number,” I say to the woman at the desk, bringing a little dimple action into play.
She looks nervous and unsure, probably because this hasn’t happened to her before. “I’m not sure I can give you that info.”
“What info?” Matt asks, walking up to the desk.
“He’s asking for another person’s apartment number.”
Matt looks at me, and then the bag in my hand. “Did she order that, or are you just assuming she’s hungry?”
I motion him away from the desk, because I want to tell the truth, but I don’t need a complete stranger to hear it. “She ordered. We ran into each other a little while ago, and I didn’t handle it well.”
“How bad was it?”
“I just stared at her, and didn’t say a word.”
“Damn. Okay, I’ll tell you, but you’ve got to up your game. Like, seriously. It’s great that you’re working on yourself, but you can’t leave her behind while you do it. Not if you want her to be there when you’re ready for her.”
“Any suggestions on how to do that?”
He laughs, and nods. “Don’t sleep with other woman when it’s her you want. Don’t even date them. And, be there for her as a friend if you’re not ready to be her lover. I made so many mistakes with Reina, and I’m lucky she forgave me, but those things I mentioned are the things that still haunt me. If I could go back in time and change anything at all, I would’ve treated her better and let her know there would never be anyone else for me.”
“I’m sensing a theme here since Nate said he messed up with Jade, too.”
“Yeah, if you talk to any guy in this building, you’re going to hear about what jackasses we were when it came to our women. We’re all a bunch of lucky SOBs, that’s for sure.”
“I’m not feeling so bad about things right now, so thanks for that.”
“Glad my former misery could help you out. Good talk.”
He gives me the apartment number I need, and we ride in the elevator together, although my stop is several floors lower than his. I’m alone now, and I can’t even pretend to be confident as I stand outside Viv’s door.
Before I can knock, it opens, and there she is. Her eyes go wide when they see me, and they’re even wider when she sees the bag in my hand. I hold it out to her like it’s a precious gift, and she grabs it, pulling it to her chest.
“Why do you have my dinner?”
“Because I was an ass downstairs, and I needed to apologize.”
“Go ahead.”
“Damn, I thought I’d never see this feisty side of you again.”
“I’m waiting.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t even say hello to you downstairs.”
“That’s a good start.”
“Start?”
“I believe you have other things to apologize to me for. If you’re not ready to do it now, you can come back when you are.”
She turns to walk away, but I grab her arm. “I’m sorry for hurting you in Cardiff. I was in a bad place, but I never should’ve taken it out on you.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.”
“Can we talk?”
She looks like she might deny me, but then she nods. “Yes, but you’re not getting any of my food.”
“Deal.”
I follow her inside, and wait while she makes herself a plate of the pasta I carried up for her. There’s some left, and it looks really good, but I’m not about to ask if I can have it. She said I couldn’t, and I can certainly wait to eat until after we’ve talked.
“Do you want the rest of this?”
“Yes, but I know you don’t want to share.”
&
nbsp; “That was petty of me, and I hate being petty.”
“I remember,” I tell her, walking over to her kitchen island, and taking a seat.
She smiles while opening the refrigerator. “Beer?”
“No, thanks. I’m staying away from alcohol right now.”
“Do tell.”
“Nate, Aiden, Matt, Jake, and Theo agreed to help me work out, and learn to fight. Plus, I’m doing some other stuff, and alcohol just doesn’t seem like a good idea right now.”
“Reina said you weren’t working with X, but she also said he didn’t fire you.”
“No, I’m not fired. Just taking a break.”
“Oh, okay.”
She looks confused and I don’t blame her, but I’m not ready to tell her everything yet. I need to divert, so I just dive right in to the reason I wanted to talk to her.
“Do you think we could be friends again?”
“Friends? You want to be friends with me?”
“Yeah. I do.”
VIV
Three words a woman—or man—never want to hear from the person they’re in love with are “let’s be friends”. Rhys didn’t say that exactly, but it’s pretty much the same. I want everything, and he’s friend-zoning me.
“I don’t know how to answer that,” I tell him honestly.
“Is it such a bad thing to be friends with me?”
“Only when I want more.”
“Oh,” he says, his eyes going wide. “I want more too, but this is what I have to offer right now.”
“So, you don’t want to date other women?”
“What? No. Not at all. Never.”
“Never?”
“Never. It’s all you.”
I see the truth in his eyes, so I know he means it, but I’m not sure I can do this with him. “We can try.”
“We were good friends.”
“The best.”
“It’s all I’ve got, Viv.”
“You keep saying that, but it’s not making this any easier for me. Can you tell me why this is all you’ve got for me?”
Defiant Company (Company Men Book 5) Page 8